How has divorce affected your life?
 

Are you a product of divorce? How has it affected your life and how successful are you compared to people whos families are still intact?

Would you ever put yourself in a position where you may get married have kids and get a divorce, knowing the implications it may have on the child?

Not me but for my ex. Her mom and dad decided to divorce when she was about 15. They immigrant to montreal. Ever since she lived with her mom. To me she seem to be very independent and like to keep things to herself. Also she doesn't seem to want to spend a lot of time together IE she is totally fine with not seeing or messaging or talking to each other for a week or two. Also she doesn't like to ask for help unless she really really have no other choice....... But I think with the right guy she can be very happy. She doing a long distance relationship atm and she seems to love it. She is in BC and the guy is in Hong Kong and they see each other maybe once or twice a year for a week....... She also tends to go out a lot like going to different meet ups (I guess she never really the love and confort of a true home).

My cousin also came form a divorce family and is not pretty. I guess when my uncle left it was pretty bad. Basically they live in Winnipeg and one day he just told his wife he needs to go back to Vancouver to visit my grandma because she is very sick. So he came back and after a few weeks he hire a lawyer to send his wife a divorce letter. My cousin didn't take it too well and ended having mental issue. She been on meds and in and out of hospital for more than 10 years and we don't expect her to be well anytime soon. She is very protective of her mom she when this happens she wanted to take care of her mom. However, during her university years she didn't do so well and was under a lot of pressure and I guess things just snap.......

My parents fought constantly while they were together and I think that was far more damaging to me than their divorce was. They divorced when I was 16 and I had a rough time well into my 20's, but it had more to do with the emotional damage of their hatred for each other and my dad's double life. Getting divorced was one of the best things they could have done and it probably would have been a lot less traumatic if they had done it a lot sooner.

I myself am divorced but my ex and I did not have kids. I'm now in a position to get married again and this time will be having kids with my partner. At this point I feel like I've learned so much about myself and know that I'm finally in a healthy relationship, so I'm optimistic that I will not be getting another divorce.

In terms of success, it depends on what you mean by that, but I love my life and I'm very happy both personally and professionally.

Moral of story

parents got diverced
dad had to pay 500$ + another 600$ until I was 19.

Moral of story

dont get married.

Now i work with a guy who is getting divorced. Has a kid. 28 years old.
He is gonna be forking out 1800$ a month to his "wife" because she does not work.
1000$ if she did work.

moral of story

dont get married.

If you dont get married but are living together, can the women still collect?

i believe over 6 months they can file for common law

in the same boat. parents were always fighting, which would occasionally culminate in my dad breaking something or my mom crying. as a young'n, those events scared the shit out of me

they eventually separated when i was 16, on not-so-good terms. my mom called the cops claiming that my dad held a knife against her throat (can't confirm, as i wasn't there), and they show up at my house and cuff him.

since then, both parents have tried manipulating me; my mom rationalizing the litigations, and my dad telling me he never laid a finger on her.

being pulled in both directions has led to me becoming insouciant. every time they bring up any superfluous bullshit, i turn my brain off and let it in through one ear and out the other.
i'm actually thankful that they split. the man of the house was gone, so i had to step it up. i matured a ton from ages 16-18 without my old man around

Isn't it two years? God 6 months seems way too soon. 6 months is like you are both testing to see how well you can handle each other.......

divorce left me with a lot of free time

now i make stupid fucking get-rich-quick threads on revscene

^ u cheeky kunt.

It's 1 year, unless you have a child together (in that case I suppose it have to be 9 months)

Edit: That's federally. Provinces may be different

Am I Common Law?
British Columbia considers you common law if you and your partner have lived in a marriage-like relationship for two or more years, or you have children together.

Property Rights
The Family Relations Act governs division of property when a marriage ends. It does not apply to unmarried couples. However, this is all about to change. The new Family Law Act, when it takes effect, will treat married and common law couples the same with regards to property division. Although not yet in effect now, even if your relationship ends, a common law partner simply needs to wait until the Family Law Act is in effect to apply for a division of property.

Spousal Support
A common law partner in BC has one year after separation to apply to court for spousal support under the Family Relations Act. There is no deadline for married couples applying under the Divorce Act.

Child Support & Child Custody
Child support and child custody are decided the same way for common law couples in British Columbia as for married couples.

Under the Family Relations Act, there is a one-year deadline to apply to court for child support from a common law step parent. No such deadline exists in the Divorce Act, which applies to married couples.

Estates
The rights of common law partners are the same as married partners when it comes to most estate issues, including intestate succession and dependents relief.

Cohabitation Agreement
Under the Family Relations Act, it often did not make sesne for common law BC partners to enter into a cohabitation agreement. This is because doing so brought them into the purview of the Family Relations Act, which required an equal division of all property. However, with the impending approach of the Family Law Act, a cohabitation agreement is strongly recommended if this is not the result wanted by a couple.

Summary
Don't get common law'd.

So if my girlfriend live together but we have sex regularly and have a great relationship it's not considered common-law? :troll:

Turns out I'm common-law, what'dya know.

My parent's divorce has made me a perma-bachelor


My mother's suicide has made me a bit more anti-social than I'd like at times!

my dad divorce my mom when i was 10, never seen her or talked to her since then...................after that u thought my dad would be a little smarter now.................................nope

my dad the poor bastard (well actually had money troubles after that) got married again & have another 2 kids........................................few years ago they divorced, & now our money troubles are even worst then before

my mom didnt really care for me & that bitch of a step mom wished that me & my sister would have no relations with my dad what so every (we were burdens to my dad) , as well as making sure that i completely dont exist in front of her kids

long story short its always about the fucking money

A divorce of a married couple will definitely have some sort of psychological trauma on the children, especially the younger one and at a younger age. Another important point is, how was it expressed to the children.

My parents were divorced when I was around 11 or so, and it did traumatize me psychologically. Even though I am much older now and was told the truth what really happened, nothing will ever make the feeling of who was wrong when I was 11, go away. Therefore, even today, I lean to trusting one side of the gender more due to what happened when I was 11.

The benefit of my parents divorce gave me a lot of opportunity to learn on my own and take my own steps. Everything I do now, I do it to my best with or without support because that's how it had been for the last 18 years of my life. I've learned many things the hard way, harder than a lot of average teens. Most importantly, I consider that my mind is much stronger than most people. I really don't care how people think of me or what they say behind me. Or even in front of me, but this took a while to learn because I was much aggressive and angry when I was younger.

The way my parent's divorced was exposed to me, made me a straight up person. I will ask questions if something bothers me, most of the time, creating a very awkward moment for people who likes to give hints, which I really don't give a shit about. If someone has a problem with me, but don't say it, I will most likely confront them on the spot. Because I was never loved like most kids have from their parents, I learned to not love others as much as they expect me to...

Which brings the bad side of having divorced parent. I can instantly turn off my feelings for anybody whenever I want mainly because I keep emotional distant with the people I know. I have and don't have best friends because anybody can become my best friend and at the same time become a stranger. I'm traumatized by negligence from my parents divorced, so I tend to stay away from anyone emotionally. The people I am emotionally attached to, is a very small circle of people, and they know about my past.

In general, a person with divorced parents will have a difficult time raising their own children in my opinion. It's a very common psychological thing that, a boy will most likely follow in his father's footsteps and become like his father. Not entirely, but a lot of the father's bad habits and traits will be inherited by the boy. I think in order to tackle this problem, one must know the root cause of it, so for anyone with divorced parents raising a child, keep this in mind and always think about how your father was like to you, and not be like him to your child.

My Mother lost her 3rd husband to suicide 4 years ago. That shits tough. Sorry to hear about that man. Its shitty, because my Mom is really cool, shes just been really unlucky in relationships. My Dad walked out before I was born. Never met him, I don't know his name. First step dad was a pretty successful stock broker with a serious drinking and coke problem. Beat the shit out of my Mom a few times until he ended up putting her in the hospital. My Grandpa threatened to kill him and he disappeared from town. Maybe he did kill him. I fuckin hope so. Next step dad was a really cool guy actually, but he was a little younger than my Mom and was well on his way to being hugely successful in the banking world. His success depended on him moving to toronto, and my Mom didn't want to pull me away from all my friends so they split on fairly reasonable terms. In short, yeah I had a fucked up childhood but divorce prevented it from becoming more fucked up. I'm happily married now for the last 10 months, and I intend to keep it that way.

for those who have never met one (or both) of your parents... even if the stories of them were negative... don't you guys have some curiosity as to what they could be like? don't u guys have the urge to seek them out... even if it's just to take a look at them (without them knowing)?

or have you guys just completely decided that path is closed forever, and it's nothing but a faded memory?

Personally, I just don't want to ask my mother for fear of making her feel inadequate as a parent. She was all the parent I ever needed and then some. I figure, my father didn't want to be part of my life, so why bother trying to force it. I think about it at times, but its not like I'd ever want a relationship with someone who is so selfish. I think I know enough about him based on one action to know I probably wouldn't like the guy. I could be wrong, but ignorance is bliss.

I've had similar emotional feelings as a child that has already been said amongst other posts here. My folks split, verbal diarrhea, ongoing lawsuits, money blah blah. Was ugly. Then my mom remarried and split two more times - always drama.

But - I split from my first wife and it was very easy going, we still talk to this day. She got to a point where she didn't want any more kids (already had one daughter) and I wanted a few of my own. You only live once, so the logical thing was to go our own roads and follow what we really wanted. That lead for a few years of rocking bachelorhood, then a new wife and two awesome little munchkins.

So - divorces can go easy but usually they are a wreck. You get out what goes in.

If the person's life is happy and going very well, why seek for the part they never had that may bring good or bad to them? IMO, don't fix anything that is not broken. They made it through their lives without that part, why not keep going without that part.

If that part comes looking for the person, be emotionally prepared for the day that part will be gone again.

I grew up in Ireland when divorce was illegal.
My parents fought mercilessly. It was a war, everything and everyone was ammo.
Dealing with that head trip definitely was a distraction from my academic education.

One benefit was my psycho chick radar got off to an early start, thanks mom.

I can't say whether or not a divorce would have helped.
What I can say is buck up and get along if you have kids.


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To add to my earlier post.

I went to BCIT, the most important thing our instructor told us was / i remembered... lul

"Careful with marriage.
You get divorced once. Your at 50% of your cash flow.
You get divorced twice. Your at 25% of your cash flow.
You get divorced three times, well, your just a fucking idiot."