[Confidential] Sensitive advice
 

The following is a post from an anonymous Revscene member. Should they wish to respond to any post in this thread, please PM me

My fiancé and I are getting married real soon. She just recently added my mom on Facebook and as she was scrolling through her profile and she found a few albums that involves my ex and I kissing. These pictures are from 2008-2009. My fiancé is from a traditional chinese family.

If you were my fiancé how would you feel?

I'm looking for more of a woman's opinion but guys feel free to comment.

I am a man. But I could imagine the fiancée being a little jealous. BUT

- you both have romantic history with other people. It's not a big deal unless pics are hanging on your wall or still on your phones "most viewed pics"
- your mom loves you and documents your whole life. From your baby pictures to school assignments to first gf pics. That's what parents do and your fiancée should understand that.

Not sure what else to say. Can't say you've done anything wrong here

It's like that pre-owned Jaguar magazine ad... you know it's used, but do you care?

"I'm looking for more of a woman's opinion but guys feel free to comment. "

You came to the wrong forum lol

I'm not Chinese, but I'm Asian. My family isn't so traditional but I'm not full on white washed either

Anyways. Would I be pissed? Yeah. Seeing a pic of your current partner kissing his ex can make any girl insecure and/or pissed off. But personally, Past is a past and Facebook is just Facebook. People forget about certain albums and pictures over time.
Go tell your mom to delete that pic or album. It's not healthy for your relationship especially since you two are getting married. Why bother having those pictures?

Just delete the photos and move on with your life..

She's secretly thinking of a threesome.

i think everyone has some sort relationship baggage they carry with them whether they want to or not, what matters is how you deal with it as a couple and move forward from that.

i don't think i'd feel much because that's part of your past and if she is going to marry you, she needs to understand and accept your past, the fact that there were others before her and yet, you chose to marry her. therefore those pics aren't a concern and she shouldn't be concerned of them.

i also think you should ask your mom to take off those pics to prevent gossip/discussions. chinese families love to talk and you don't want to start off on the wrong foot with your future in-laws.

tell her that you love her more than any other person you have been with and the past is the past.

tell her to grow up if she bitches too.

I'm more curious as to why your mom's facebook account has pictures of you and your ex kissing... :suspicious:

Why are those pictures still up?

Unless secretly you don't want to move on or your mom likes your ex better than your fiancé

Mom like ex better so she kept the pics.

Just ask your fiance what she thinks after seeing those pictures! You two are getting married soon, why is there still a communication barrier???

I would be a little upset seeing it because the man i love is kissing somebody else but she has to understand everybody has a history of relationships and you have to look past that. just delete the photos and everything will be fine. after all, you guys are getting married!

the best relationships are never on facebook.

Is your fiance is a known jealous psycho bish? If not, then you're fine.

he about to find out :fuckthatshit:

you forgot to mention the worst relationships are never on Facebook as well. I for one would like to see cutsie pictures of couples.... rather than them hiding that they are in a relationship and can cheat with other people very easily.

^Opening up your relationship to the public/facebook puts everything you do in a more critical light, as well as random do-gooders feeding you questionable information regarding your partner i.e. 'seeing' them somewhere with someone else.

Maybe you don't believe in this, but a lot of middle eastern cultures / indians believe in "Nazar" or the evil-eye. It's a popular superstition that suggests unlucky/unfortunate events will occur if you attract the attention of particular people by flaunting/showing off your good fortune/loving partner/monetary wealth/etc.

It's one thing to put up a picture of you and your girl because you love her and you wanna tell the whole world, it's another to do it to show the world how 'great' your life is or to show other people that she's taken. There should be a level of trust in an adult relationship wherein both parties understand that they both could be with anyone else but they choose to be with each other regardless of that. Facebook is just an online profile -- how will people that meet her randomly on the street know that she's not taken? You don't force her to wear a ring on her ring finger so why force her to list her relationship status

just saiyyan, OT from OP's post but food for thought

its probably too late to delete those pics.....SO has probably already saved them somewhere to use for that one time you come home drunk from a boys night out.
i speak from experience. :okay:

You haven't done anything wrong, and you're not obligated to delete anything, but not having public pictures of you kissing your ex is a reasonable request.

If you can't do that for her on your own accord, purely because it will make her happier, your marriage is going to be a good time....

and by good time.. i mean.. a very bad time.

Have you bothered to ask your fiancee how it makes her feel? You're getting married which brings up two points:

1) You can't communicate with her directly over something simple like this, and you're marrying her? How long have you been together?

2) Since you're engaged it should already be clear to her that she's the one you love and want to be with. If there are any doubts in her mind about that, why are you getting married?

Just don't let her see the rated r pics of you and your ex from your cell phone ;) I suggest iCloud for storage :thumbsup: