parents

[underscore]

She hasn't slept over at your place because can't be bothered to put up with a bit of annoyance from a dog? Seriously?

Originally Posted by stewie

In 6 months I will have mobility freedom, but I'm also insecure about the large long scar across my head that goes into my forehead.

Don't worry dude, chicks dig scars.

Originally Posted by stewie

Italian, 20+ cousins all within a 20 minute drive. We're all similar in age, and weddings are becoming the norm. I feel like I'm dragging behind and it sucks. With everything happening in my life right now, it a really depressing sad situation in my head.

Look at it this way, what would be worse: to get married "on time" to someone you end up being miserable with, or getting married "late" to someone who makes your life awesome? I'm pretty sure the former sucks balls and the latter is a mild inconvenience.

Originally Posted by stewie

All my friends I've told about her say wtf is the matter with her and that since I'm her first long term boyfriend, she's going to be in for a rude awakening if she gets a new boyfriend in the future.

To me that's a big red flag, IMO a lot of people won't properly appreciate a SO until they've been in a shitty relationship with an asshole, so this fact along with how she acts indicates that she doesn't appreciate what she has. Long term, what does she really expect with respect to your family and you? They sure as hell aren't all going to change, and she will never find someone with a family that's the same as hers.

[Pegacorn]

Originally Posted by stewie

^

In 6 months I will have mobility freedom, but I'm also insecure about the large long scar across my head that goes into my forehead.

Sadly I'm insecure as is, I finally got invisalign this summer so I could have my perfect smile. I've lost 60lbs since 2 years ago when I was diagnosed with my condition - unable to work my very physical job, drive to the gym, make my late night binge eating trips to subway... So now I'm a skinny white guy with a large highly visible scar in a weird place, still can't drive, get to the gym etc.

Italian, 20+ cousins all within a 20 minute drive. We're all similar in age, and weddings are becoming the norm. I feel like I'm dragging behind and it sucks. With everything happening in my life right now, it a really depressing sad situation in my head. All my friends I've told about her say wtf is the matter with her and that since I'm her first long term boyfriend, she's going to be in for a rude awakening if she gets a new boyfriend in the future.

If so, any single ladies on here willing to take me on a sympathy drink at a pub? or guys...a drink is a drink and a convo is a convo lol good way to vent lol

First: stop comparing yourself to your cousins, or to anyone else for that matter. I went through a stressful period of feeling like I'm way behind the curve, because my friends have degrees and kids and I'm still painfully finishing my undergrad 10 years later, but I had to get over it and realize that we all take different paths in life. I have some wonderful friends who were able to tell me to stop comparing myself to other people and remind me that some people don't have kids until they're 40! And some people are 40 and still in school and having kids. Everybody does life their own way. Your cousins might be miserably divorced and paying child support by the time they're 40, so don't rush it and lock yourself down with a girl you may not be happy with down the road just because you're "running out of time". You're not, BTW.

Second: I can hear that there are a lot of self-esteem issues going on and you're probably going to want to deal with those BEFORE you start trying to date, because you'll be far less likely to settle for the first parent-hating, dog-loathing bitch who comes along, thinking that's all you deserve. A scar? big deal. Some may even be into that. Scars are pretty bad-ass (Tyrion Lanister, bitches!). It might take some work to get your self-esteem up, since it seems this has been a long battle for you. There are books that may help, or maybe you'd consider seeing a counselor for a period of time, if you can afford it. I'd highly recommend that, because all of the invisalign and weight loss in the world is not going to make you feel better about yourself if you have deep-seated self-esteem issues.

Third: Timeless advice - stop looking for a woman and focus on healing yourself and finding happiness in your own life. Women will find you. Take up some social hobbies or join some groups if you want to expand your social circle and increase your odds of meeting new people, but don't do it just because you're looking for a partner, find things you'll enjoy regardless.

That's way more advice than you need, probably, but I hate to see people who seem like decently good people sell themselves short. Enjoy your life, buddy, you sound like a great dude. A worthwhile partner will come along when you're actually ready for it (hint: you might not be yet).

[Spoon]

Originally Posted by underscore

Don't worry dude, chicks dig scars.

Thanked. Glory lasts forever amirite?

[underscore]

Pain is fleeting, glory is eternal.

[underscore]

Originally Posted by Pegacorn

Third: Timeless advice - stop looking for a woman and focus on healing yourself and finding happiness in your own life. Women will find you. Take up some social hobbies or join some groups if you want to expand your social circle and increase your odds of meeting new people, but don't do it just because you're looking for a partner, find things you'll enjoy regardless.

That's way more advice than you need, probably, but I hate to see people who seem like decently good people sell themselves short. Enjoy your life, buddy, you sound like a great dude. A worthwhile partner will come along when you're actually ready for it (hint: you might not be yet).

That's a very good point as well, in my experience the harder a person is looking for somebody the less likely they are to find them and vice versa.

[PeanutButter]

Hey OP,

I know we're all saying to drop her because it doesn't seem like she is a good fit for you. But, I just want to let you know it's going to be tough as hell.

Whenever you break up with someone it's going to hurt, a lot. Love and relationships will take a toll on your emotional conscious.

I'm just saying it's going to be super hard and you'll probably feel like shit. That's totally normal. Most guys will run back, some won't. Good luck OP.

[Vege]

Life will always throw challenges in your way and how you deal with them is how you become better. Don't always follow what other people have been through and use that as your goal in life as everyone has their own path and choices, that's what makes life so interesting!

I think everyone's consensus is pretty much the same, if she has this many red flags right now, think of what will happen when you marry her.

Take your time, work on yourself, there are a lot of women in the world. I understand investing 3+ years with someone might seem like a waste to break it off but use it as a learning experiencing. Next time you meet someone like her, you will be able to see the signs and avoid spending 3+ years before finding out she might not be the one.

[DragonChi]

Originally Posted by stewie

^

Lol thanks

I don't want an easy chick though
I want a girl I can bring home to mom and dad. A girl with strong family values, wants kids, and has her life on track.

It's harder to find than a needle in a haystack.

If this is what you want. Think about what this girl would want from you?

What kind of qualities would a girl like this look for in a man?

These girls are all over the place. I would say most girls want to have a family and be part of a family with a guy that has his life on track. They're just waiting for the right guy to scoop them off their feet.

Moreover, it's important to have things in common, that are outside of the traditional family values. Do things that you enjoy, as mentioned before. Eventually you might find someone that likes it just as much and meet from there. That way there's at least one thing you guys can do together. There are billions of women out there. There's bound to be one. The trick is to be ready when you meet her.

Numbers don't lie, marriage is hard, and it's a huge commitment to stay with someone for a lifetime.
http://www.separation.ca/pdfs/divorcefacts.pdf

Make sure you pick the right one, it'll be worth the wait. Living proof is; the man, the legend, Presto.

[stewie]

so my mom asked me this morning "wheres ***** how come she hasn't been around lately? have you talked to her?" i didnt want to tell my mom "no cause she hates you guys so she wont come into this house and she thinks we need to go our seperate ways and i haven't heard from her since saturday". so i simply just told her that she hasn't returned any of my texts or calls. her reply "shes probably going to break up with you. thats not normal behavior at all..if thats the case leave her miserable ass at the curb"

you rock mom hahahaha

[underscore]

^ I like your mom, she knows whats up.

[Inaii]

Hahahaha Italian moms are the best (and ukranian moms, but they try to feed you too much....)

[Pegacorn]

Yep, your mom sounds awesome. Definitely something wrong with this girl if she can't get along with a woman like that. People who can't handle straight-shooters who tell it like it is are usually not very legit people and may be hiding something.

[stewie]

Originally Posted by Inaii

Hahahaha Italian moms are the best (and ukranian moms, but they try to feed you too much....)

they get the women nice n fat so no other guy will want them except their bf/husband

in return the wives feed their husbands till they're the same weight so no other women would want them.

just two fatties living in harmony haha

[fliptuner]

Originally Posted by stewie

I was given a giant WLtoys skydancer v912 from the gf's mom for xmas.

So what happened?

[stewie]

Originally Posted by ICE BOY

So what happened?

Aren't you a keener hahaha, just noticing everything


Long story short:

She pissed me off, I said I quit, I realized I may have over reacted, talked with some friends/cousins and they all kinda agreed. She ended up writing me a several page length email saying how shes been a stuck up princess bitch and this whole event has been a bitch slap to her face that she needed to wake her ass up etc etc.

In the end I said we can give this another shot, but just give me till the end of the month so I can just have some free time to myself and do nothing but sleep all day (had brain surgery, the aftermath kicked my ass, was tired all day for several weeks after).

Started off at square 1, went on casual "first dates", nothing to fancy and under 2 hours just to see each other then leave. Evolved from there, and now I'm here. Things are working out great now that shes not a princess anymore. There's still times where I just wanna break her neck, but I'll have those feelings with any girl I date haha. Things such as how to get something done. For me, its a simple task, I quickly think of a few scenarios, find the best one, think of the pro's and con's and go from there. Her, she just picks the most simplistic answer and hopes it'll work. So we'll always clash there ahhaha.

So yeah, still together.

[chouchou]

^how about the whole her visiting your house, being open to different family dynamics and stuff? has any of that changed?

[stewie]

Originally Posted by chouchou

^how about the whole her visiting your house, being open to different family dynamics and stuff? has any of that changed?

yes it has.

the whole "bitch slap to her face" thing was an eye opener. she isn't a fan of my dogs when they act up (aka play with each other) since her dogs have a boring life...no barking, no playing around, if they're in the house they cant leave the living room unless its to go to the bathroom - cant go in the dining room/kitchen/downstairs/etc etc. But she now says my dogs are my dogs and they'll never be like hers and shes okay with it. she'll play with them a bit but if they get to carried away I'll have to stop them. Family wise, yes, shes hangs out with her sister whos mom is one of her co workers and both families are really close. since she didnt grow up with a dad she would think my parents were fucked up since they argue and yell etc. now that shes hanging around her sister's inlaws and she sees that its kinda common, shes eased up on it a lot. she wasn't into the whole family values thing before hand but shes making an effort into going to all my family dinners with just my family and the ones with all my aunts and uncles and cousins.

basically shes trying now and if shes faking it, shes doing one damn good job at it hahaha

[underscore]

If she's faking it, it'll show within a few months.

[Inaii]

Originally Posted by underscore

If she's faking it, it'll show within a few months.

But for both of your sakes, I hope she's being real

[stewie]

So far she is, and if I find out she isn't I'm gonna get you to give her a stomp down since I cant hit women

[fliptuner]

Nah, I just noticed the post and remembered this thread thinking, " Oh man, I hope this dude didn't go back to that chick and waste his fucking time. "

That's cool everything seems to be coming together and all the issues are on the table and being addressed.

[Mr.HappySilp]

Is good that your gf is able to wake up.

My sister just got marry over the weekend (woot). Her husband had a brother who is also marry "let's call her Bitch". Anyways Bitch never really like family gatherings or even be with anyone. Everytime we went out for dinner etc etc... she would come late (as in 30+ mins) and leave after 30mins or so.

During the wedding the planning she never help or anything but have agree to drive some relatives from the groom's side to the ceremory and the dinner. Anyways the night before the wedding she went crazy and just said she isn't driving anyone and she is only going to the dinner coz she hate to be around ppl and is for the baby. That really mess things up because now we we have no rides for some ppl. Ended up having one the friend to drive the relatives from the groom's side. All said and done.

When is time for dinner as usual she came 30mins late. While my sister and her newly husband was giving a speech she just came and walk straight pass them with a stroller. I was pretty chock so is the guest. During the brief stay she didn't eat anything and won't let anyone see or touch her baby (not even the grandparents of the baby). And she keep bitching at her husband how she didn't have a nice wedding (which is true when she was marry the only have a small dinner), how she have no jewelry, no nice wedding photos etc etc... just cause everyone at the head table unhappy. But she fail to realize she didn't put any effort into her OWN wedding, she have no plans, and she hate to be around ppl so why have a big wedding if you are going to grumpy during your own wedding.

Anyways I couldn't take it anymore so I mention that I have a gf who also happens to be from China (like she is) but my gf is ok with just a small wedding and she understand it is not the wedding or how much jewelry she is going to wear but rather she is happy that she gets to be with me. I also ask if she agrees or what's her though on marriage. She got piss and took the baby and left after a few mins of her being silent.

You can't change someone unless they are willing to change. But they have to WANT TO CHANGEfor him/herself and not for you because it will never work that way.

[SkinnyPupp]

Originally Posted by stewie

since she didnt grow up with a dad she would think my parents were fucked up since they argue and yell etc. now that shes hanging around her sister's inlaws and she sees that its kinda common, shes eased up on it a lot.

Is that really common? I always envied my friends' parents who never yelled at each other (at least not in front of company which my parents often did)

[murd0c]

Yelling is not common at all, if they are doing it joking but no question its not the norm especially around guests

[stewie]

2 words:

Italian parents