I'm happy that you know what the definition of a marriage is and what is required to keep it going. But you see we live in a place called reality and in reality things can change beyond your control. Sometimes when you don't love someone, you just don't. No working on, no marriage counselling, no nothing. When that time comes, you will see who your partner truly is when they treat you like just another person on the street.

Like I said, unless you have superpowers to see in the future, you cannot 100% say that you know the other person and that you both share all your values.

and a prenup is not just there to cover your ass or so your cheating wife doesn't take more than 50% of your shit. It could be there so you can't take more 50% of her shit too, therefore your protecting HER.

A prenup doesn't mean its an easy out. If you actually love someone and want to be with them, a signature on a piece of paper shouldn't be the major force holding you two together. If THAT IS THE CASE, then clearly you shouldn't be together in the first place.

I can't believe this fucking song is 10 years old...

A year or two sounds excessive compared to what I've seen lately:

Example A: My coworker met a girl in the US in fall 2013, they'd see each other a day or two every few weeks when he would go down there and they were married June 2014. (both very religious, probably explains a few things)

Example B: Girlfriends friend meets a guy, they decide to not have sex until marriage (huge lol knowing her history) got engaged after around a year of dating but having never lived together and they'll be married in August.

They're all nice people but I have to wonder just how long these two marriages are going to last.

@EmperorIS: Say what you want, but when it seriously comes down to a prenup, it is there for safety. It is there because you are worried that one day your spouse will fuck you over. If you're not worried, if you have no doubt, then why bother signing a prenup.

This argument, is just as valid as yours. If you cannot accept that, well then you need to re-evaluate the words marriage, and prenup.

I will not have a single doubt in my mind that the woman I will marry will fuck me over. So far, my current LTR has been going on for 8 years this September. Longer then atleast 4 marriages I know.

Marriage is like picking the winning horse (no pun intended), it is never a sure thing.

I work as a financial advisor and I get a front row seat to marriage breakdowns, so trust me on this.

A prenup is a must for any relationship because it is the instructions that are negotiated when people are calm and thinking clearing on the best and most fair way to go about something if a split were to happen. If it doesn't ever happen that is good, but if it were then that is were a prenup comes in. It should just be a mutual safety net for both parties.

Emotions fly high and at least one person is always hurt when it comes to a breakup, a prenup is a calmer version of that person who was at the time thinking clearly to how things should workout.

This is coming from someone who watches people destroy each others credit, go further into debt, close each other accounts, etc.

It's people like you that are forcing the society to view marriage more of a business with practical needs, and less of a romantic relationship. Shame on you.

Define "Love" and "romantic relationship".

Unfortunately, I think that is what marriage has become...

I've been through one before and someone previously was saying "Oh I trust her and we already discussed beforehand that if anything were to happen we'd be fair and equitable and walk away with what we already had"... yah good luck buddy, try enforcing that verbal agreement when emotions are at their absolute peak and see where that type of thinking gets you. People get as irrational as shit when they perceive someone else as being the reason their world is crumbling or they're the type of person who is incapable of thinking about themselves objectively (ie: taking any blame for something).

Pre-nup can help you, but everyone loses in the end no matter what you do... the only person who wins in these situations are lawyers.

i have yet to meet a married couple truly happy in their marriage. Selfishness and greed is a common problem within the relationship and I am not talking about money either. I guess the quote "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part" don't mean shit any more, I see marriage like one form of personal accessory like a shiny new shoes or an apple watch...

it's simple.

those who don't sign a prenup either want to take super high risk and hope nothing bad ever happens so they can fulfil some magical perfect definition of "love" without doubt.

but it is still a risk (and high risk because people are unpredictable and can possibly change over the course of 80 years+).
because you cannot foresee the future or predict what people will become due to existential reasons.

OR they just truly do not understand the meaning of risk control.

it's like buying insurance or wearing a seatbelt. I don't fucking have insurance or wear a seatbelt because I WANT to fucking get in an accident. but i know SHIT can happen due to whatever weird reasons which you cannot think of NOW.

you're not god. you DONT know. if you think you do, then what does that say about you? ego speaking? you speak as if you can predict what SOMEONE ELSE will do or feel decades from now.

you hire the two best pilots in the world, one guy has life vests and other safety risk reducing features on his plane, and the other guy doesn't. why the FUCK would you NOT take the safer flight?

everyone that argues against signing a prenup is living in some fantasy in which they think they already control the future.

you're not BETTING on a failure, but if you've got half a fucking brain and know how humans work, you'd just take insurance... JUST INCASE. cuz you DON'T KNOW.

and you DON'T. you DON'T KNOW AT ALL. anything you hope or feel now is JUST A FEELING.

you don't fucking buy life insurance hoping to die. you don't buy insurance for your pet hoping it gets sick. but it's OUT OF YOUR CONTROL.

it's just logical. and accepting outside backup/help, and using LOGIC shouldn't fucking be a threat to your internal value systems. you should just be logical. and instead of seeing it as a threat to your internal value systems, you should see it as a tool that is there to help the BOTH of you.

it has nothing to do with gold diggers. it's an exit plan IN CASE things go to SHIT. when the world comes down on you and you go "holy fuck i never thought this would happen to me" and then you go "well, i took 50% of the suffering out by having this prenup which was planned out and laid out logically" and the exit just happens with THAT MUCH LESS PAIN.

you guys talk like it's some fucking sin, some fucking act of heresy, devaluing the sanctity of "marriage".

but your perspective is fucking skewed cuz you're only defending your own subjective definition of idealistic values. which you want to keep pure from the influences of outside.

you can separate the good planners from the shitty ones here. you ALWAYS plan for EVERY possible situation, no matter how slim it is. that way you're always in control and you have a plan laid out and you just follow that plan when the situation happens. instead of the poor fucker who will become all emotional cuz he or she has nothing planned and it's just hitting them like a dump truck.

ALWAYS plan for the worst, and hope for the best. you are NOT god. you DONT control anything. especially another person's destiny. you can only plan for your own destiny. and any smart person will have that plan solid and secure. never leave shit up to chance.

you anti prenup guys are being as crazy as the gambler at the casino. it's just CHANCE. there's ALWAYS a chance of failure. and it doesnt have to have anything to do with you or what you did.

just think of it as insurance. you don't wanna crash, but you can't help if something external causes you to crash, but you'll have insurance.

if you think signing a prenup is an omen. then that's your own fucking insane paranoid thoughts. you probably think there's such thing as jinxing LOL.

fine with me if you guys don't wanna. but i aint taking that risk. i know what i want. and i know what I DONT WANT. and the prenup secures my destiny that much more.

fuck, any business owner, anyone that's lived life fully as a human being, and interacted with people, KNOWS the risk involved with other people. no matter what you think, things can change on a dime. you're NOT in control. YOU NEVER WERE.

you sound like a buncha people that have only gotten with less than a handful of girls and live some sheltered idealistic life of what love and marriage is. like puppy love.

everyone think of their first love. imagine if u could sign something that goes "in case you break up, JUST IN CASE, your heart break will be reduced by 50%"

all of us would make the younger version of ourselves sign it. the younger self probably would be against it. cuz they're too emotional and in love to SEE AND THINK CLEARLY.

that's what you guys are right now. blinded by some idealistic value or love.

you'll always refer to some relationship where they've been happily married for 50 years with no prenup. but let me ask you what are the % of people that have that kind of relationship? minuscule. you're telling me you're willing to BET that you're one of them?

i'm not. i hope i can be. but im not willing to take that bet, so i sign a prenup that removes that risk.

why don't u guys go an put all your money on red or black, cuz statistically that's what you're betting your marriage on if you don't sign a prenup.

if you don't believe me or other pro prenup people in this thread cuz "we're a buncha immature teens or 20 year olds"
how about you go interview a buncha 80 year olds, and see what they say. they're old and wise. they know better.

i bet you 90% of them will tell you to get a prenup regardless of how perfect their relationship was. it's just the WISER MORE INTELLIGENT thing to do.

and i repeat, it DOES NOT ruin the sanctity of love or a marriage. you guys are just too insecure with your own idealistic values. hoping if you don't get a prenup, then your world is still following your own internal value system. but that's just a delusion, only you perceive that. the world doesn't. it's just a feeling.

LOL! You guys are freaking out about marriage and divorce.. just wait till you have kids and the scenario are exponentially more complicated.

I would agree with this, in my opinion it's not something you should rush into. My wife and I we dated for over 6 years before we got engaged. We then lived together another 2 years before finally getting married, for us it helped us really get to know what we were getting into. It's our 11th wedding anniversary next month we've been together 19 years.

We don't have a prenup, when we got married neither of us had that much in terms of assets so for us it really wouldn't have meant anything.

In all honesty, who here would even need a prenup, let alone actually ask for one... All this argument over a total non issue for most of RS!

why are there arguments in every thread

http://i989.photobucket.com/albums/a...ps6wru1oqz.png

Love is not a feeling its a choice.

The majority of marriages are done today when people are still "in love" , aka they still get the warm fuzzy feelings and are all blissful and happy. This is why they fail. A couple more years pass, the fuzz wears off and they don't "feel it" any more. Then divorce and onto the next person that gives them the fuzzies.

If you believe that love is a feeling and that it is what will keep your marriage together because it makes you feel warm and fuzzy, don't bother getting married. You are in for some serious disappointment.

Also, when kids are involved the whole 50/50 thing goes out the window (if your a halfway decent person who cars about the kids well-being). I know a few couple with kids that are very amicable and understanding of each other and there lives are just fine being separated but what I see more than not is people get greedy with possessions without considering the well being of there kids.

If I were to separate from my wife for whatever reason, the possessions we have would be separated reasonably and with the well being of my FAMILY in mind.

A good number of the people posting on here are worried about loosing assets they don't even have. If you don't own a business/property or anything of significant value then what are you doing commenting?
A prenup is not some end all protection for assets in a marriage. Despite what all the internet legal experts on RS seem to think, you can still loose many things with a prenup. Its only a contract or agreement with your spouse or partner, and unless you are coming into the relationship with something to protect, the assets you accumulate as a couple and the type of lifestyle you have will not be covered with a prenup.

So if you rent, and have no significant assets don't bother.
If you are getting married and you own a business, or property or have a large amount of savings it is something to consider, however it can still be ruled that the assets are split according with a court decision. Unlike the US, the courts are not as keen to stick to prenups if they believe they are not in the best interests of both parties involved and will also take into account the well being of children if any are involved.

this is a very interesting thread and great responses from everyone. i presume most of the responses here are from male posters and wonder if there are any females that have responded or can offer their take on this?

i have not thought about prenups because the conversation never arose in my past relationships, but i would not be offended or discount the relationship because the guy wants to have that conversation or gives me a draft prenup to deliberate on. i am not keen on marriage, the whole idea of planning a wedding and hosting a celebration of the union seriously turns me off. i dislike binding someone to me by marriage (and vice versa). if people can choose to be together in a relationship, they should be able to walk away from it unscathed or at least return to the financial state they were in before they were in a serious relationship.

that said, stuff happens and like everything else in life, preparation is key. having the conversation will ensure both of you are on the same page and know what to expect (and what each other's expectations are) if the relationship doesn't work out. some girls i know are adamant that they will not have this conversation or that they'll figure it out when they hit that point in their relationship - i tell them they're stupid to think this way and good luck. what bugs me even more is the mentality of some girls thinking that once they get married, they're set for life, are secured and can forego career advancement because they have someone to fall back on. thing is, no one is obligated to provide for you by any means. if the guy/girl decides they've had enough of the laziness and walks out, that financial dependency walks with them. it is really up to you to think about how to provide for yourself when a relationship doesn't work out and sadly, most people don't think about that until it's too late.

i get prenups aren't for everyone but having that conversation will save you a lot headache and grief in the future.

fuck marriage. waste of money. tons of headache.

just become common in law partners. same shit.

Whenever I do get married, no big waste of money wedding, no kids, sink and swim together if anything we are just a team from that day forward do our best to live the best, that's it

:alone:

would you be willing to sign a prenup if your future wife was bringing more to the table than you

Here's a little hint for the guys here. If you plan to get married, just assume she will take half of everything. It makes the decision of marriage much more challenging and serious for you before finalizing on it. Just think to yourself, is this person worth half of everything you own? Is so, then good for you, you truly are ready to commit. If not then you know the answer.

For me, I didn't have much when I got married. We've been together for over 10 years, got married 3 years ago and have a little 2 year old bugger now.

Coming from a divorced family, I fully understood that whatever happens, she's worth at least half of what I own. No pre-nup is going to change that. Plus, I went in the marriage pretty much broke so she's entitled to half of whatever is made after the marriage anyways. But honestly, without my wife and the motivation to make money for our well being, I would probably still be broke. Even if I made money by staying single, I'd probably still piss it away on pointless stuff. You really can't put a price on true happiness of having your own family.

^Conversely, if you're married and about to cheat, think to yourself "is this bitch worth half of everything I own?" before you try to bust a nut in her and if you still think she is, well, best of luck to you... otherwise the situation should rectify itself fairly quickly :)

Friend works in a lawyer office most case they deal with is immigration follow by divorce. She is pretty serious how some girls fuck other their exhusband so it is best to protect yourself.

Here's to hoping that by the time you want to get married, you have fucked enough variety of women that the ol' spank bank has enough memories to jerk to that cheating will never even cross your mind!!!