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-   -   Facebook Thinks You Are Stupid (https://www.revscene.net/forums/705593-facebook-thinks-you-stupid.html)

meme405 09-30-2015 07:29 AM

Facebook Thinks You Are Stupid
 
Thread title is a bit of a :troll:


But I saw something pretty funny today though, it was on one of those bullshit ad ridden websites who just beg people to share stuff so they get more hits on their page. Yet the article was actually quite hilarious:

Quote:

PINCHING the bridge of his nose, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg took to the podium at a press conference today and appealed to users of his popular social media network to stop being so God damn gullible when it comes to sharing bullshit about changes in Facebook policy.

The press conference was called after hundreds of thousands of idiots fell for yet another copy and paste chain letter which claimed Facebook was about to introduce a premium service which would require a monthly subscription.

The chain letter went on to state that anyone who didn’t sign up to this service would have all their photos sold to evil corporations who would use the images in adverts for haemorrhoid cream, Fianna Fáil posters, and hardcore pornography.

“And of course, the only way to prevent this is to post a status on Facebook saying that you don’t agree to these terms,” said Zuckerberg, who has just about had it with this shit by now.

“Do you people even read this crap before you copy and paste it? Or does it just punch your moron button hard enough to get a reaction? Honestly, do you think our legal team combs through the profiles of the billion or so Facebook users, looking to see did they post some garbage about whether or not you consent to the terms of some made-up bullshit? I despair sometimes, I really fucking do”.

Zuckerberg went on to state that if he ever did decide to change the privacy policies of Facebook, “you people would never even know it had happened”, before an aide stepped up and took the mic away from him.
Source: Facebook Urges Users Not To Be So Fucking Gullible | Waterford Whispers News

I had been seeing this post for a couple days, and my thoughts were exactly aligned with that of the article. My thought process went a long the lines: wondering who actually believes that FB would switch to a subscription service, then thinking about how dumb they are thinking that some status post would save them, then moving onto wondering why I am friends with such a stupid human being.

I have to side with Zuckerberg on this one; sometimes I despair for human kind as well.

GLOW 09-30-2015 07:38 AM

meme you should have posted a zuckerberg facepalm meme :troll:

murd0c 09-30-2015 07:56 AM

If it's on FB is must be true right???

Ferra 09-30-2015 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meme405 (Post 8684924)
“And of course, the only way to prevent this is to post a status on Facebook saying that you don’t agree to these terms,” said Zuckerberg, who has just about had it with this shit by now.

Do you people even read this crap before you copy and paste it? Or does it just punch your moron button hard enough to get a reaction? Honestly, do you think our legal team combs through the profiles of the billion or so Facebook users, looking to see did they post some garbage about whether or not you consent to the terms of some made-up bullshit? I despair sometimes, I really fucking do”.

Zuckerberg went on to state that if he ever did decide to change the privacy policies of Facebook, “you people would never even know it had happened”, before an aide stepped up and took the mic away from him.

somehow I doubt he would actually say this out loud...
the article seems as much a bs as those chain letter mails

SumAznGuy 09-30-2015 08:15 AM

Quote:

Or does it just punch your moron button hard enough to get a reaction?
It's the same reason people fall for scams.

You won $XXXXXXX, please pay $XXXX for taxes to claim your money.
You won a prize from a draw you may or may not have entered.
Or I am a Nigerian prince. I have money in the bank but can't access it....

SkinnyPupp 09-30-2015 08:25 AM

What is that satire in response to?

Presto 09-30-2015 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkinnyPupp (Post 8684941)
What is that satire in response to?

Could be the recent resurgence of the Facebook subscription rumor.

Jmac 09-30-2015 09:00 AM

I honestly have no idea why I'm even on Facebook anymore. It's basically turned into a giant junk mail folder.

SkinnyPupp 09-30-2015 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Presto (Post 8684948)
Could be the recent resurgence of the Facebook subscription rumor.

Again....

Not even my mom fell for it this time...

meme405 09-30-2015 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ferra (Post 8684932)
somehow I doubt he would actually say this out loud...
the article seems as much a bs as those chain letter mails

The article is sattire entirely. There was no such press conference. I thought that was pretty obvious.

That doesn't make the article any less true. Facebook's real response probably would be something like that if they didn't filter themselves.

The only official response from the company was actually this:

Quote:

While there may be water on Mars, don't believe everything you read on the internet today. Facebook is free and it always will be. And the thing about copying and pasting a legal notice is just a hoax. Stay safe out there Earthlings!
Reminds me of another article headline I read today:

"There may be flowing water on Mars. But is there intelligent life on Earth?"

6o4__boi 09-30-2015 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jmac (Post 8684950)
I honestly have no idea why I'm even on Facebook anymore. It's basically turned into a giant junk mail folder.


i'm honestly just on it to make fun of the retards i still have as "friends"
and to remind myself that my life isn't so bad compared to others on my news feed

plus it comes in handy for...research involving the opposite sex.
:ifyouknow:

yray 09-30-2015 09:47 AM

https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net...0e&oe=56A9E8A4

Phil@rise 09-30-2015 10:08 AM

the sheeple of FB...

Mining 09-30-2015 11:21 PM

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/wp-...G-facebook.jpg

meowjinboo 10-01-2015 12:14 AM

Now it’s official! It has been published in the media. Facebook has just released the memebership price: $4.20 Rare Pepes Sterling to keep the subscription of your Nandos to be set to “cheeky”. If you paste this meme on your page it will be offered free (pasta not 4 share) if not tomorrow, all your posts can become Minions. Even the memerinos that are diggity dank or the photos not ayy lmao’d. After all, it does not cost any up-shreks for a simple copy and pasta. Better safe than S.A.D.B.O.Y.S. is right. Channel 69 News was just talking about this change in Facebook’s privacy policy. Better m’lady than Fedora. As of September 11th, 2001 at 04:20 p.m. Eastern Centraltime, I do not give Memebook or any entities associated with Memebook permission to use my swamp, paypays, maymays, or Bernie Sanders, both Drake and future-themed. By this statement, I give notice to Memebook it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, Donald, or Trump any other action against me based god on this profile and/or its Content(™)s. The Content(™) of this profile is BASED and RARE. The violation of dankruptcy can be punished by jooooohn cena (TYBG 1337 - 69 - 420 1 7 3 8 and the Netflix/Chill Statute). NOTE: Memebook is now a grill btw :33. All members must repost a Content(™) like this. If you prefer, you can copy and pasta this to Comcast. If you do not publish a statement reading: “sleep tight pupper” atleast once it will be tactically allowing the use of your Content (™) as well as the username xDDD contained in the profile status updates. DO NOT SHARE. You MUST ayy lmao


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