If there's chemistry, I'll know it within 15 minutes. If not, I'll keep it to what it is, an initial meeting...and interview if want to call it that. No more than 30-45 minutes, but if things are going great, we'll stay longer. I was with the cat eater for 1 beer, which led to more, which led to almost 3 1/2 hours of us talking and laughing (she kept saying "lets have another"). For what you said about reading the online profiles...I find myself deleting a lot of messages. If they took the time to read my profile they'd see what it says at the bottom and they'd say more than "hi" "whats up" "how was your weekend". straight to the garbage bin for those.

Well, if someone isn't interested in replying to your message, then there's not much point in spending any more energy on that person.

I think the angst expressed here and on other Vancouver-based forums is that a lot of people seem to be limiting themselves to a particular type of mate. I get it - people want to spend their time and energy on someone who's like them. But, shared values extend beyond ethnicity, heritage, or social class.

When I read people having to "up their game" each date, it makes me sad. Dating shouldn't be complicated - it should be fun because a long-term relationship is where the work begins. It's not about spending a certain amount of money to impress (though, as I argued earlier, spending your time on the details matters). If you have to spend money, spend it on yourself - whether it be becoming more educated, more social, or more traveled.

You must be married or in a longterm relationship from your early years!

Social class - There is not a snowball's chance in hell that a guy making 30k is going to win and keep a girl making 70k. Lets be honest, our incomes dictate our tastes and interests.

Heritage/Ethnicity - Find me a cbc girl who wants to date a guy who has parents from Pakistan but born in Canada and has no religious affiliation and I'll retract this statement. Interracial dating (besides the conventional whiteguy/asian girl ) has not caught on in Vancouver and doesn't seem like it ever will.



Feeling compelled to share my most recent dating story after the cat eater story....

Chatted with this girl from POF for about 10 days or so and we decided to meet up over the long weekend. Kept it simple I got the food, she got the dessert. Went for a nice stroll and what was suppose to be a 15-20min meet up went for about 4-5hrs. Lots of good laughs and compliments thrown across at each other. Was a solid 9/10 on the date scale. We made plans to hang out again tonight. Lots of chatting and calling between weekend and she goes "what do you think of me"... the fuck kind of question is that? I was straight up with her and said she seemed nice but I barely know her. She had the same answer back and wants to get to know me better. Ok cool right? Wrong! Maybe an hour or so later she comes back and goes "Hey, we should be friends- I'm not feeling the romance". WTF? Is she bipolar? Is she a cat eater? so I go wtf... she goes on about, well I didn't feel the romance when we hung out... i have high expectations of my potential partner. The only change that happened was, the dinner venue changed from Coast to Penom Penh cuz we wanted some good ol' chicken wings!

@tiger_handheld LOL. Man. I don't even have anything constructive to say to that... Bullet dodged dude. Jesus wtf is wrong with people these days

I think you're jumping to a lot of assumptions which are quite wrong.

Social class - I agree with you to an extent. I think in most cases it still kind of goes back to the old fashioned notion that the male should make more than the female. Things are changing. It's still not common for the female to make more than the male, but it's not exactly uncommon either. Maybe not at such a big salary gap, because lets face it.. if the guy is making 30k and the girl is making 70k+, there are bigger underlying issues than just money. But if it were closer, at say, 60k/80k, then I don't think it's a huge deal.

Ethnicity - This part I have to completely disagree with you. If anything, I think Vancouver's pretty forward in interracial dating.

One of my best friends is Muslim/Iranian (born here), and he's been dating a Chinese girl (also born here) for years.

I'm Asian, and with one exception, every girl I have been/am involved with was/is Caucasian. My younger brother and cousin are also both dating white girls. At this day and age, speaking from experience, people date certain people because of interests/compatibility, not race. Having said that, it's stereotypical, but race does give people a general idea of your interests, mannerisms, habits, etc. I mean, I may be a bit of an anomaly -- I grew up and hang around mostly around white people, so I grew up skateboarding, listening to/playing rock/metal/country music. So just through meeting people through the people I hang out with, I'm naturally just more drawn to girls with similar interests who just happen to be white. This has very little to do with what race we are.

We should start putting their usernames up so we each know which psycho's to avoid :p

I got married in my 30s to a wonderful woman whose heritage is Middle Eastern. For the record, I'm a CBC (though, more of a banana than a true CBC).

To be fair, if I saw this thread in my mid-20s, I probably would have felt the same way as some of you. But in my late 20s, I decided to stop trying to chase some kind of life that I thought I wanted (or what was expected of me because everyone else in my peer group was chasing the same thing) and instead pursued my own path.

Let's face it - the reason why some men in this city struggle with dating/hooking up is because they're not all that interesting. They don't stick out from the crowd. It's not about how much money you make, what logo is on your polo shirt, or what type of job you have. It's about what's between the ears and your character. You could drive a late-model BMW 3-series or Audi A4, but so what? Such cars are a dime a dozen in this city and lack character. It doesn't matter if you spend a few hundred on some fancy firmware or spend a couple of grand on 20' rims - it's still a leatherette clad entry-level luxury car that shifts on its own, is probably full of old Tim Horton's sleeves, parking receipts, and smells like sports equipment.

What kinds of books do you read? Can you stand up in front of a group of people and deliver an improvised speech? Can you work a crowd? Do you shine your shoes? (surprisingly, a lot of men in this city don't) I could go on... these are the things that make a guy stand out and make someone interesting.

I met my wife through an activity-based club. She was initially attracted to me because I wore a trench coat and fedora to meetings. How many Asians in this city wear trench coats or hats besides baseball caps? Very few. I'm not saying you should dress like that to attract someone, but my point rings true - you need to stand out in some way.

Yeah, like have a thread that review the girls.

But that's misogyny!!! How offensive!!!


Lol to the cat eater.

to those going on dates...

how often do you guys try to go out? either to meet someone new or get to know the potential?
where do you draw the line between going 50/50 or treating him/her to the dinner/snack?

i'm starting to notice the "lets hang and get to know each other" is getting expensive! I'm alternating on picking up the bill, but daymnnn!

maybe we need a "cheap eats for dates" sub thread?

If it's someone new, I almost always start out with a coffee date. From there I can gauge whether or not a second date would be feasible. If it's someone I think I'd want to continue seeing after the first date, I always pay. Just my personal philosophy -- if I like her enough to want another date, then that means there's enough that interests me that's worth paying for dinner. If the matter of $50 is enough to make me second guess taking her out for that second date, then I probably don't like her enough anyway. YMMV

I'll share my two cents.

About a year before I met my current girlfriend, I took interest in someone who I met attending an anime convention who happened to attend the same university as I do. We started talking, obviously it was easy as we had a mutual interests and were both students so there was a mutual respect for each other from the get go.

Long story short, I asked if she wanted to go to a dessert place I've been meaning to go to but haven't been able to find anyone to go with, she agreed, we went, had good communication, good vibes for sure. We continued talking after that first "date" but I continuously asked her out for more food dates but she kept declining for a period of 2 or 3 months claiming she was too busy with classes and needed to go home right after class or was just busy with work on weekends. I took that as a sign that she wasn't interested as she didn't make an effort to reschedule or find time and I simply moved on.

About 2 months after we stopped talking, I got a random call from an unknown number, turns out it was one of her girlfriends drunk calling me (they were together drinking) and telling me how she's told them everything about me and how she keeps thinking about me and wants to go out with me etc. etc.

In the end, nothing happened, but I was kind of like oh, so you did have a thing for me :derp:

I'm not sure what point I'm trying to prove here, I guess maybe that even when you're sure that the person you're interested in, isn't interested in you, it might not be true? Perhaps wait longer? Don't know. Perhaps I wasn't being blunt enough? I know the process/methods I used with my current girlfriend to let her know I wanted to be with her was super blunt, basically told her I liked her right off the start and made everything as obvious as possible and asked her to be mine two weeks after we met, after only 3 or 4 dates :lawl:

I just came back on a date.

Coffee at first and if conversation was flowing, then we walk elsewhere; it keeps the bar tab / food tab down to a minimum.

I'm a gentleman, FULLY happy to pay for ALL meals on first date. I DO HATE it when girls don't make an EFFORT to at least reach for the wallet.

Nothing is sexier when a girl says "You paid for coffee, let me pay for ...."(ice cream / fritz, dessert etc.)

Last but not least, at least TEXT to say thank you. You wont' believe how many referrals I get from chicks who I become friends with and they referred me (and put in a great word for me) on their much hotter friends.

i think 30k and 70k are actually a fairly similar social class, because the 30k person could very feasibly make mid 5 figures, and 70k will likely be stuck under 100k for the rest of their life anyway. if we're talking well over 100k then i see your point. a doctor isnt going to want to be with someone that works in a call center, thats for sure.

imo, interracial dating isnt really a trend as you make it out to be. you meet someone, you like them, you date them. it's up to the two of you to decide if you can make it work, not up to society. white guy asian girl is more common than the other way around, because i find asian guys are just more timid and that's not the type of personality that works with most white women. as i said i don't think its a trend its just chemistry. my family is korean, im dating a persian girl. its one of the least common combos but she hates persian 'macho' guys and likes that i don't really care about gender roles and comfortable just being who i am. actually a lot of persian girls are like that. i dated another one just before, coincidentally. asian guys in this thread, take note!

wow how hypocritical. a few pages back you chewed me out for asking basically the same question and stating that $50 a meal on a regular basis isn't expensive. i thought you were baller?

since i'm not an ass here's my 2 cents. i'd say the guy should be paying a little more especially if he has the higher income. so far our outings have been 60/40 or 70/30 and i don't mind because she's offering to pay 50/50. that alone is already enough in my books to know that she isn't expecting me to pay for everything. i've been with girls who openly told me that even though they offered to pay, deep inside they still expect the guy to pay on the first date. it leaves a good impression. after you get comfortable, then it doesn't really matter as much who pays for what and it will naturally just flow when the bill comes.

Met up with a gal from pof last night. Surprisingly it turned out quite well!
Intended to meet for a beer and chat for maybe an hour max just to get to know each other, see if there's anything there....1 hour turned into 5, and now I've got to plan out an actual date. Haven't had to do that in a while hahahaha, I need some ideas here. Nothing overboard, but I'm just drawing a blank here as it'll be a Tuesday night which cuts out several of my original ideas. And no, some fancy restaurant is out of the picture - she was talking about how the last guy she met tried to impress her with it and she hates it as she hates meeting someone on a first date and they have to watch her scarf back a meal lol.

Any tips on locations for a Tuesday night? In 2 weeks we'll coincidentally both be in Thailand within the same area, so an exotic date is in the near future haha. If it means anything regarding ideas, shes swedish/french

^ fuck that shit. Stop over thinking.

Your 1 hr date turned into 5 = YOU TWO got shit to talk about and you're interestingly enough to keep her entertained (vice versa).

No need to "plan", just go walk around DT / West 4 /Granville and eat and hop around restaurants. It's a Tuesday; meaning there won't be 1 hr line ups like the weekends.

This is where you grab the bull by its horns and just do things YOU want to do; restaurant hop, a hobby that you do (archery, ping pong, bowling)... sky's the limit.

my main stump of a problem is that it's a tuesday and we're now on a time crunch. I've no problem staying out until 2am and waking up at 5am to go to work, but she wakes up at 5am as well and is usually passed out in bed by 10:30. We're both not free until roughly 7ish, so time is whats got me thinking of what to do in such a short time lol. weekend dates - no problem

Why not just do something that's a couple of hours and save the "date night" for when you have more time? If you like each other then basically anything you do will be fun that early in. No need to go balls out on the second meet up your company will be enough.

so far I figure I'll keep it easy. Head to Milltown bar&grill. It's on the fraser river and you can see all the float planes going in etc...

^ on a slightly different note, I love Milltown --great food and location. Sometimes on Friday nights the music is way too loud though..

Commercial drive bowling, but start off with leb. food at Jam jar and then end it off with Kin Kao Thai for a snack. Yah it'll suck as you have to walk a few blocks but hey, treat the rain as if it's on your side; grab a big umbrella and have her hold your arm dodging the rain.
Tons of places you can just grab a beer along the way top it off with deep fried ice cream at Belgian Fries.

Full on date with less than $100 bucks for two; memorable & fun date, heck you might even get to second and 3rd base if you play your cards right. jk..no really...

My definition of regular would be about once a week. For some of you that's probably considered "rare"...

But when you are doing that 2x 3x a week for 1-2 weeks... that's a lot of $...
If it's spread out over the month it's pretty normal.

$50 for two is pretty standard for lunch dinner at a half decent place... Only so many Combo B's...


Has anyone else seen ads on fb for an app called dine?
supposedly tinder meets yelp... for all the "foodie" chicks .. or chicks that want a free dinner...

Think I've finished sorting it out.

Milltown followed by casa gelato (she told me a while ago she loves ice cream). Take her home, park a few blocks away, walk her home.

Good night kiss is a guarantee since I've already done it a few times (saw an opportunityand and went for the kill, she liked it)

Female reporting about online dating.

I met my boyfriend from Tinder and we've been together for over a year now. Things are pretty dandy, I was single for 2 years prior. Honestly, it's a numbers game. Not in the sense of getting numbers, but in terms of actually finding someone worth your while.

One of my girlfriends are on Happn and just went on a great first date yesterday.

People have 'online personas' so to speak, and there's enough patterns that you can start making 'educated guesses' on what type of person is on the other side of the convo. Whether or not you and the girl can create compelling and engaging conversations that you actually really dig, beyond just 'getting to know each other'. Little actions speak plenty, esp when given the limited opportunities you get to do prior to meeting someone.

ie. Prior to meeting, BF called me on my phone everyday while I was sick to see if I was alive (aka how I was doing). Called me and asked me out on first date while I was crying over a book.

Don't spend a ton of money on every girl, but if there's a girl you're really digging that's being really receptive - then sometimes going old school are show-stoppers now (ie. Calling someone or.. getting picked up on first date. I got picked up. It was memorable. I used to normally meet the guy somewhere due to safety and how comfortable I am).