Sounds like you genuinely care and love your daughter, so these are the most realistic scenarios provided your ex actually cares about her.

An Engagement Ring isnt a gift, it is a bribe, lol.

But I agree with whoever said that if the ring is accepted, but someone backs out before the wedding, whoever backed out of the wedding, it goes to the other. eg: If he backs out, she keeps it.

If it is a mutual break, I believe the honest answer is that it should go back to the guy. He spent a lot of his own money (before they agreed to join lives and finances) for the ring. If they choose not to go thru with the wedding, if she keeps it she is gaining an asset and he is losing one. If he keeps it, she is neither gaining nor losing an asset, and he has the ability to recoup some of his losses for the ring.

After the wedding, it is hers to keep.




OP, what I would do: Tell her you guys should mutually sell it, and the money goes into a trust for your daughter. If she turns that down, shes an unreasonable and selfish cunt, and you should dance off into a merry sunset having dodged that bullet.

On a related note, I just saw a post in one of those shop and swaps on facebook. Some skanky looking hoe was selling an engagement ring appraised at like $15k.

Of course I clicked on her profile. Dozens of profile pics full of cleavage shots. It had a "(hoe) got engaged to (sucker)" status like 3 months prior. Poor bastard.

Like a hundred comments with other hoes saying she deserves to keep it and sell it.

My two bits........ girl keeps the ring.

You, as a man, gave her that ring. You lived with her for 7 years AND had a child. You are, in the eyes of the law, married (common law). She probably put up with a lot. You may see it differently, but that doesn't matter. She gave birth to a child and probably went through a lot raising that child. A 7K ring? Stop being a cheap ass and move on. Your mistake. Plain and simple.


BTW, I'm old fashioned................ so forgive me.




god bless

A $7K ring bought retail is about $1500 second hand. Lol. The money is gone.

Little less than 1 year before breakup the ring was placed on her finger.

Thanks for the genuine replies.

I believe the ring and institution of marriage is something that should be phased out with our parent's generation, if the couples are not religious.

The stats don't lie; one in two marriages will fail.

People change, and that's not always a negative thing.

Cheers OP, glad to see you want best for your child.

Marriage is a legal union, not just a religious one, and the rings never had anything to do with religion (people used to use all kinds of things). What does need to go away are the excessively expensive engagement rings, the amount of money some people spend on them is insane, especially since nobody can tell the difference.

I'd like to add that the diamond industry is a big fucking scam. Diamonds are nowhere near worth what you think they are. De Beers is TELLING you what they're worth.

To the OP:

I say forget about the ring. It's just a material possession that took a huge depreciation hit. Focus on your daughter and a healthy triangular relationship between the three of you. A ring is not worth potential destructive consequences.

100% the ring goes back to you. Asked my fiancé and she said the same thing

lol @ mofos buying engagement rings to get married (looks like in this case an engagement ring bought just to live together? lol). Way too many people fall for this garbage. I'm surprised people continue to shell this amount of money for an engagement ring and spend tens of thousands for a wedding ceremony, when these money could be meaningfully put towards something else. It's almost like a condition precedent prior to the proposal. Tell your girl to fuck off if she can't be with you without an engagement ring to flaunt it to her friends.

It's your sunk cost so just let her keep the fucking ring. In real life it's a clusterfuck to even prove who went cold feet first. She has her story and you have yours.

You are so wrong, I've lived it, two years means common law, there is no provision for equal division of assets in common law separation. What you paid for belongs to you and what she paid for belongs to her - she can attempt to establish an interest in your property/belongings in that she may have "maintained" these assets, but that sort of thing is usually reserved for having painted walls... not having cleaned a 60" TV on occasion.

HOWEVER, being that you have child together, you're basically married.

Edit: Note that she can claim she paid for everything you bought, in which case both parties will need to provide paper evidence of who paid for what or it will be divided equally.

Plus you can still end up on the hook for alimony, the price of which goes up in relation to the discrepancy in your age, earnings, educational level, dependants and a few other factors.

Anna if you let her drive your car for the last 7 years there is a pretty good chance the court will expect you to compensate her for a portion of the vehicle as you had previously provided a luxury to which they have became accustomed.

Point is, without kids, a couple living together for 3 years who don't own property together can have a quick and easy split - it's not like a marriage where there is a 12 month separation and an automatic division of assets @50/50% assuming it is not contested.

a ring is a bullshit mass media marketed event gift. so you lose anyways :D

lol.. asked wife this questions... and she says the girl should return the ring just on morale grounds... good luck OP, but honestly you might just have dodged a bullet... imagine having this conversation after the actual marriage... will cost you a lot more than 7K i am sure....

i wonder if everyone saying rings are bullshit are single on here lol.


also for what its worth i asked my wife. she said no question the ring goes back to the guy if you didnt make it to the wedding

If you guys have come to a mutual agreement to split it that's a homerun for you I'd say. Seeing as you were together so long usually I'd say ur out of luck; sell it and put it towards ur daughter, move on happily as you can. Jasonturbo nailed down the legal aspects to a tee, your way ahead to keep it happy and a peaceful transition

Oh yeah opening your daughter's bank account / trust fund for education is a great idea, lock it up til she graduates high school.

Here's a quote from Einstein “The most powerful force in the universe is compound interest”

If you ex refuses to give money to your daughter's education, I would tell lawyer how much of horrible mother she is. Can't even sell the ring for her own child, she shouldn't have the custody.

HA! tell that to my uncle's ex wife who took half his shit and retirement savings :fuckthatshit: and lets not forget shes the one who got caught cheating and didnt spend a single dime

"Ex Wife" would not suggest a common law relationship, however, after say 20+ years of common law the court will most certainly view you as married.

Are you a lawyer? I have absolutely never heard of a "conditional gift" (as opposed to a contract with conditions) and I somewhat suspect that even if such a thing existed, the courts would not agree that becoming married is a contractual obligation to be engaged.

In any event, let's stay away from presenting things as legal fact without backing it up with some reliable sources, to help prevent misinformation from being spread as "definitely fact".

Mark

Add me to the list who thinks the ring is bullshit. I'm happily married with two kids. We spent the $ towards an exotic honeymoon, which was fantastic and created long lasting memories.

I often wonder if those who are buying the engagement ring genuinely ask themselves why they are spending that money. Ultimately it really comes down to the fact that it's the marketing that added any value to this ring.

That discussion should be left for a different thread.

Sorry to hear what you are going through OP, especially with a child together.

IMO, I would just want to keep the mother of my kid(s) happy. I would not want kid(s) growing up with a mom who has hate for me and would feed all this negativity to my kid(s) about me.

50/50 means you're fighting over a really petty sum considering the resale value.
just let it go and have one less thing to strain the relationship over.

i don't really care much about stuff like that, and neither does my SO.