REVscene - Vancouver Automotive Forum

supafamous · 07-28-2021, 08:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 320icar

Wish I could say the same. The having a child part is hard, but feels natural. Something I wasn’t ready for was how much the dynamics of a relationship changes. Feels bad man

Oh yeah, I know the feeling. At the worst of it I was going "We're going to get divorced" in my head. I'd say month 3-10 were the worst for us - I was sleeping in the guest room and we'd take turns with the baby. Wasn't till we sleep trained her at month 10 that things got a better but even then it was not ideal.

We actually see a counsellor every few weeks now - it's really, really, really, really helpful. All the stuff that gets bottled up gets dumped out in an hour and we see a bit of progress each time. The first couple were pretty emotional but now it's the little stuff that comes out which we don't normally have time or energy to talk about. I highly recommend it - most workplaces will pay for it via their EAP (Employee Assistance Program).

Now that COVID isn't so bad and we're vax'd even little things like going to Costco as a family have been helpful. I was tired of being the only person who ever went grocery shopping and she was tired of being left at home with the kid during those kinds of trips. And everyone likes to chow down on a Costco hot dog so that helps.

EvoFire · 07-31-2021, 08:31 PM

I'm glad we never got that far with our relationship, but heard of plenty of marriages staying together because of the child and there's nothing left except for the child.

Supafamous it's great to hear that you guys saw the problem and went to find help. Hope things get better for you guys.

EvoFire · 07-31-2021, 08:34 PM

We have a very new problem to us, meddling grandparents (my parents)

We bought an older house that needed renos and we are bridging the gap by living at my parents.
My mom has been entering our room to check on the little one every night and waking him up. He already is getting less sleep than usual because we have to share a room and the other night my mom woke him up at 12am, and he was up until 3am. My wife was super upset about it and I had to have a talk with my mom about not going in and checking on him.

I know she means well but us being more independent, this has been tough. We are thankful for the help but god damn we can't wait to get back into our own place.

mk1freak · 07-31-2021, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EvoFire

We have a very new problem to us, meddling grandparents (my parents)

We bought an older house that needed renos and we are bridging the gap by living at my parents.
My mom has been entering our room to check on the little one every night and waking him up. He already is getting less sleep than usual because we have to share a room and the other night my mom woke him up at 12am, and he was up until 3am. My wife was super upset about it and I had to have a talk with my mom about not going in and checking on him.

I know she means well but us being more independent, this has been tough. We are thankful for the help but god damn we can't wait to get back into our own place.

Wait until they are older and they give em so much sweet treats, you know which sweets too. The same ones we never got growing up...

320icar · 08-02-2021, 05:18 PM

Tips for taking a child camping??

My son will be 16 months when we go in September. He’s running around and is a god damn infinite ball of energy. We are avid campers and have everything we need and then some. But like... how do you keep a child entertained outdoors like that. My wife has a playpen I think, but I know he won’t like it. He has never had restrictive play like in a crib or pen so he might hate the idea of being trapped.

Retractable wire guide system? That’s what o did with my puppy last trip

inv4zn · 08-02-2021, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 320icar

Tips for taking a child camping??

My son will be 16 months when we go in September. He’s running around and is a god damn infinite ball of energy. We are avid campers and have everything we need and then some. But like... how do you keep a child entertained outdoors like that. My wife has a playpen I think, but I know he won’t like it. He has never had restrictive play like in a crib or pen so he might hate the idea of being trapped.

Retractable wire guide system? That’s what o did with my puppy last trip

Haha we worried about this with our daughter (very similar age), and it was for nothing. What we did was buy a cheap Ikea high-chair online for $10, and strap them in for when we're setting up or doing things. Because she'd never seen any of it before just sitting there watching us was entertaining enough for her.

Because it's a completely new environment, all the tasks seem new (but this is a double edged sword because she also didn't sleep very well). Otherwise just take him on a walk around and point out the different coloured tents, pets people have, etc. You can try buying cheap dirt-play toys (buckets, scoop, etc.) but that'll depend on his interests. We also brought a big bouncy ball but the site was on a cliff so we lost the ball pretty quickly...small harmless camping equipment (headlamps, clean plastic tent stakes, etc.) can also be a lot of fun.

Also this is pretty obvious but just keep an eye on him at all times. We turned away for a few seconds and found her sucking on a golf ball sized rock.

Also if you've never been with him yet apparently it helps to sleep in the tent at your house a day or two before the trip. And if he sleeps with a stuffy or blankie or something take that with you. We found with ours it was hard because she wouldn't want to sleep because 1. it's exciting and 2. it's bright af until 9pm, and then she'd be overtired and not used to the new setting. Be prepared for a bad night's sleep, is all I will say lol. Have fun!

inv4zn · 08-02-2021, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EvoFire

We have a very new problem to us, meddling grandparents (my parents)

We bought an older house that needed renos and we are bridging the gap by living at my parents.
My mom has been entering our room to check on the little one every night and waking him up. He already is getting less sleep than usual because we have to share a room and the other night my mom woke him up at 12am, and he was up until 3am. My wife was super upset about it and I had to have a talk with my mom about not going in and checking on him.

I know she means well but us being more independent, this has been tough. We are thankful for the help but god damn we can't wait to get back into our own place.

Haha your mom came into the room where all 3 of you were sleeping? I donno if cultural policies apply, but tell your mom that her doing that is disrupting your wife's sleep in multiple ways. That way you're not telling her she's doing something wrong with the grandchild, but with an adult.

Or set up a baby cam or something only over the baby and give your mom access to that.

EvoFire · 08-03-2021, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inv4zn

Haha your mom came into the room where all 3 of you were sleeping? I donno if cultural policies apply, but tell your mom that her doing that is disrupting your wife's sleep in multiple ways. That way you're not telling her she's doing something wrong with the grandchild, but with an adult.

Or set up a baby cam or something only over the baby and give your mom access to that.

She did come in when we were sleeping, it's just all around weird and old ppl (she's not even that old) have no boundaries.

inv4zn · 08-03-2021, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EvoFire

She did come in when we were sleeping, it's just all around weird and old ppl (she's not even that old) have no boundaries.

You should go into her room at 2am just to check in on her lol, see what she says

Traum · 08-03-2021, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inv4zn

You should go into her room at 2am just to check in on her lol, see what she says

As EvoFire was saying -- it's a matter of boundaries, or in this case, a lack of awareness for other people's boundaries. Chances are, Grandma will say that she is only concerned about the little person. It wouldn't even have crossed her mind that by coming into the room, she is violating the personal space boundaries of EvoFire and his wife.

I sympathize with EvoFire, and I'd say that EvoFire would already be the person that knows his mom best. So it would be up to him to find the most appropriate way to get the idea across to Grandma that she cannot just barge into their room to check on the grandson.

Honestly, good luck with that. And be thankful that at least it is your mom doing this (and not your MIL), so at least the matter is "in your own hands" to resolve it, so to speak. If the issue is coming from the MIL, it'd be even more difficult to deal with.

RiceIntegraRS · 08-05-2021, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 320icar

Tips for taking a child camping??

My son will be 16 months when we go in September. He’s running around and is a god damn infinite ball of energy. We are avid campers and have everything we need and then some. But like... how do you keep a child entertained outdoors like that. My wife has a playpen I think, but I know he won’t like it. He has never had restrictive play like in a crib or pen so he might hate the idea of being trapped.

Retractable wire guide system? That’s what o did with my puppy last trip

I took my son camping for the first time when he was 14 months twice and surprisingly he kept himself entertained the whole time. There was 3 other kids his age there aswell but they didnt really play with each other too much. My son loved to throw rocks in the water, digging sand and rocks into his bucket. Playing with his toy monster trucks throughout the campsite and basically explore. I brought a tablet cause i thought it was gonna be hard to keep him entertained but i only used it maybe twice the whole weekend. We went with 10 adults total so having all those extra set of eyes on all the kids made it soo much easier. Just make sure u bring a crap load of extra clothes for ur son cause they dirty them super quick especially if ur by the water. I think my son went through all 8 of his pants and we made him wear dirty pants twice cause we ran out.

320icar · 08-05-2021, 03:52 PM

Yeah we’ll be going with adults so lots of eyes to watch out! My wife is starting to get excited and picking up some throwaway toys from the dollar store to play at the lake etc. He’s getting good at running now so I’m a bit less worried about scraped hands/knees. Thanks for the responses guys!

TypeRNammer · 08-10-2021, 06:52 AM

3.5 years later, finally an open spot for my daughter that's closer to home for day care!

EvoFire · 08-22-2021, 05:20 PM

My son fell and broke a front tooth, possibly two. My wife is at Children's right now with him in ER after getting the run around with a few and phone calls with none being really helpful.

So a heads up for all your parents on here, Children's has an on-call pediatrician dentist on the weekend. Yes it'll take a while but in an emergency it's available. They won't tell you that over the phone.

!Aznboi128 · 08-22-2021, 06:14 PM

^ certainly good to know/remember

SSM_DC5 · 08-23-2021, 10:31 AM

Sorry to hear about your son. I hope he gets treated soon.

But did anyone else wAnder if the boy slipped on a grape in the mall?

EvoFire · 08-23-2021, 11:10 AM

It was a slow process, we went at ~4pm, intake, wait for pediatrician to come see him.

Pediatrician came at around 6pm, decided that it was out of his hands and called the pediatric dentist. Dentist took about 30mins to call back, my wife chatted with her and they decided to come in and do an xray, took the dentist about 40mins to arrive.

ER doesn't have the right equipment so they had to wheel it over from the dentist department at Children's. That took another 30 mins. Called me at 8:20 and said they are starting work. We left Children's at ~9:30pm, minus 1 tooth.

It was an ordeal, but we are glad it's over. Go to Children's if you can't get an emergency appointment with a pediatric dentist.

Traum · 08-23-2021, 01:37 PM

It is never a pleasant experience taking a child to the hospital, even when I am super grateful for everything that the medical staff are doing.

Sorry that your son had to go through with this. I hope it wouldn't lead to anything permanent.

EvoFire · 08-24-2021, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SSM_DC5

Sorry to hear about your son. I hope he gets treated soon.

But did anyone else wAnder if the boy slipped on a grape in the mall?

Playground god damn it!

But I wouldn't be surprised if he would slip on a grape in the mall.

EvoFire · 08-27-2021, 10:39 AM

Topic came up a few days ago.

Do any of you have wills just in case where the two of you pass away for whatever reason and only the little one is left.

Is stipulating custody rights to a friend/grandparents a thing?
Is assigning insurance payout to a trust fund something we should do?
Also dealing with our properties?

We are actually thinking the most about immediate custody rights because IF something happens (bad car accident while kid is with grandparents or at daycare) and we don't want our son to end up in a foster home or anything like that for any amount of time.

supafamous · 08-27-2021, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EvoFire

Topic came up a few days ago.

Do any of you have wills just in case where the two of you pass away for whatever reason and only the little one is left.

Is stipulating custody rights to a friend/grandparents a thing?
Is assigning insurance payout to a trust fund something we should do?
Also dealing with our properties?

We are actually thinking the most about immediate custody rights because IF something happens (bad car accident while kid is with grandparents or at daycare) and we don't want our son to end up in a foster home or anything like that for any amount of time.

Not yet but it's a work in progress - I'm doing mine online through Willful (https://www.willful.co)

You should definitely ask someone to be a guardian for your kids if you both die and have it stipulated in a will. Same with money that goes into a trust etc.

I've been bad about this - my kid is 2.5y and my wife and I still haven't set up our wills. If you don't have a will it makes everything a real mess to sort out.

supafamous · 08-27-2021, 12:25 PM

Fuck it, just went and completed my will.

Gumby · 08-27-2021, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by supafamous

I've been bad about this - my kid is 2.5y and my wife and I still haven't set up our wills. If you don't have a will it makes everything a real mess to sort out.

Don’t feel bad about it; I have a 13 and 7 year old and while we’ve talked about it, my wife and I haven’t set up our wills yet either. We’re making it a priority now!

!Aznboi128 · 08-27-2021, 05:15 PM

My wife and I have been talking about it but can't think of a good guardian :/

RiceIntegraRS · 08-28-2021, 01:11 PM

Me and my wife have talked about it. The biggest question is who gets our kids. My kids are closest to my parents but thats not the most logical move since were most likely gonna live longer than them. I do have some options but theres pros and cons to which gaurdians would be best for my kids. Which is probably the biggest question mark for you guys aswell.