[Marco911]

Post some of your funny text message conversations in your phone.

Marco911: What are you doing tonight?
J.A. : I'm in New Zealand
Marco911: Fuck some black sheep for me.

[1990TSI]

random 18 year old blonde: what u doing 2nite????i
1990tsi: u hopefully
random 18 year old blonde: K pick me up in 5
1990tsi: k

true story.

[Culture_Vulture]

somebody once text'd me after getting hit by a bus door >.>

[Girl]

Girl: Damn, if I wasn't seeing <guy's name> on Saturday, I'd totally be texting you about your night.
RS: <guy's name?>
Girl: Yes you read correctly. He just got off the plane. I don't know what to tell him.
RS: what? my nuts?
Girl: no your nuts are seeing <friend's name>'s face on Saturday.
Girl: TEABAG!!!
Girl: u should text me WHILE you're getting sucked off
RS: hmm i should record it, i did w/ <ex's name> fuck she had such a nice ass
Girl: R!! you're horrible! i was only kidding. She's OUR good friend!
Girl: but that be damn funny...and highly awkward to watch.
RS: You'd love it.
Girl: seeing ur penis? uh...no thanks...no offence

[Shun Izaki]

DIGGY: what?
friend1: what?
friend2 (to both of us): in the butt

[Inaii]

DIGGY: what?
friend1: what?
friend2 (to both of us): in the butt

Thanks, I had that song stuck in my head the entire time I was in the shower -_-

Brother: Yo man, don't go to starbucks, we already left
Friend: Too late...


:D I thought it was FUNNY!

[Girl]

This was probably in the span of 2 hours

Girl: yo home splice what u doing?
Girl: did you know that Marilyn Monroe apparently had 6 toes? Crazy shit.
Girl: D??
Girl: okay i'm bored and you're obviously NOT answering
Girl: ur probably at the gym, working on ur fitness
Girl: okay any day now....
Girl: Imagine all the people, living in a world of peace...
DL: FUCK OFF I'M TRYING TO HAVE SEX!!!
Girl: Oh.
Girl: Better wrap that shit up. teeheehee *runs away*

[buttered corn]

random 18 year old blonde: what u doing 2nite????i
1990tsi: u hopefully
random 18 year old blonde: K pick me up in 5
1990tsi: k

true story.

that is full of win.

[bigrig]

Me: Yo douchebag hows mexico
Buddy: Hot Man. but having a great time
Me: How are the girls?
buddy: HAHAHA you gotta hear this
Me: WHAT?
buddy: One of our buddies that came with us, picked up a hooker on the st and ate her out and licked her ass
Me: EWWW? serious? white girl? mexican?
buddy: MEXICAN!!! FUCKING SICK MAN!

[HappyDorky]

This was probably in the span of 2 hours

Girl: yo home splice what u doing?
Girl: did you know that Marilyn Monroe apparently had 6 toes? Crazy shit.
Girl: D??
Girl: okay i'm bored and you're obviously NOT answering
Girl: ur probably at the gym, working on ur fitness
Girl: okay any day now....
Girl: Imagine all the people, living in a world of peace...
DL: FUCK OFF I'M TRYING TO HAVE SEX!!!
Girl: Oh.
Girl: Better wrap that shit up. teeheehee *runs away*

LOL
funny ass shit. :)

[Shun Izaki]

lol...

i rmb when my old txt sound was the girl orgasm noise.... and someone texted me all frantically because they had a dead batt, and needed a jump... my ex-gf thought i was cheating on her and busted in on me playing GTA:SA

Fone: OHHoHHHHHHOHHHHH
Me: YEAH YOU LIKE THAT DON'T YOU!!??!?
Fone: uhhh UHHH MOARRR!!!!
Me: Fucking Hoe, you gonna pay for dat one!

lol

[michimaro]

...less then an hr after coming home from wings night where 9 of us polished off 5 giant plate of wings plus other assortment of food PLUS frozen yogurt after. (my friend got a takeout order of wings for lunch/dinner the next day)

her: guess what i m eating?
me: omg again? we r going to have to grease your door just to get you out of ur apt
her: haha i will be sure to call u tmw if i m stuck
me: they better not call me in to work tmw just cause u r too fat to leave your house.

[Inaii]

^^^ ROFL! That one owns. That's hilarious!

[StaxBundlez]

has anyone actually tried calling those sex text things for like 4 dollars a text?






cause its not worth it............

[Raid3n]

^speaking from experience are we?

[Shun Izaki]

has anyone actually tried calling those sex text things for like 4 dollars a text?






cause its not worth it............
why would you CALL a sexTXT line?

[Girl]

Girl: So i I was just talking to Ulic, he thinks u should make a comeback
Grandstand: No thank you
Girl: Any reason?
Grandstand: Rs is like an ex gf. It will never quite change enough
Grandstand: And even if it was, it ranks of someone elses dick when you get in there.

[maxx]

Friend: Hey buddy, Lindsey got a hair cut and killer booty shorts. You have to check it out.
Me: Cool. Buying M3.



Friend: Sup
Me: busy. ttyl.
Friend: wtf we were suppose to drink tonite
Me (like 20 mins later): Plans changed
Friend: ass, I'm coming over. 15 mins.
Me: DUDE. I'm with a chick
Friend: 5 mins.

[Criot]

Buddy: And to top it off she came in the store asking for me :p

Me: Dude, you know what you have to do......put it in her butt.....DEMAND NOTHING LESS, this is Sparta afterall

[Girl]

Sent the same message to 2 possible #'s. 1 would be one of my close friends friends with our lil inside joke about being pregnant, the other number would be a complete stranger. The stranger responded to my text as follows:

Girl: Hi i think im pregnant. Dont panic i'll get tested tom. Let me know if you can come k? I know we just met but still.
Stranger: Uh, got the wrong person. I'm gay. Haven't slept with a woman since 1993.

[!Tigger]

i call bull on that Girl, take a pic

[underscore]

Sent the same message to 2 possible #'s. 1 would be one of my close friends friends with our lil inside joke about being pregnant, the other number would be a complete stranger. The stranger responded to my text as follows:

Girl: Hi i think im pregnant. Dont panic i'll get tested tom. Let me know if you can come k? I know we just met but still.
Stranger: Uh, got the wrong person. I'm gay. Haven't slept with a woman since 1993.


epicsauce haha

[Girl]

i call bull on that Girl, take a pic

I will when I get the camera.

[stewie]

her: what you doin?
me: i thought your not allowed to talk to me?
her: whys that?
me: your controlling bf..
her: yeah hes in mexico...what you doin
me: oh..hahaha, beer and tv...
her: sounds fun....
me: fun yeah, but im in pain...hurt at work
her: awww...you need some tlc baby!!
me: i need a massage...
her: perhaps we can exchange a service?
me: what is my service
her: i think you already know
me: well im free right now
her: head to my place

true story

[Girl]

Girl: So I just made traditional Chinese soup!
JS: Mmm does it have Dog in it?
Girl: Uh...I might be Chinese, but I'm not Mainland Chinese Geez, who do you think i am?! It's cat soup!

[!Tigger]

^ i loled.......

[Good_KarMa]

A friend of mine (male) periodically sends me the lyrics to his favorite song.

This time it was by korean(?) group Wonder Girls - Nobody

I want nobody, nobody but you. I want nobody, nobody but chew! I want nobody, nobody, NOBODY!!! NOBODY BUT CHEWWWWW! <3

I usually send him back lyrics to the last song i was listening too. I think it was DMX - What's my name?

HEYO,HEYO! WHAT'S MY NAME?
DMX AND I BE THE BEST
YOU SEE THE REST?
THEY LOOKIN LIKE THEY NEED A REST
ONE MO' TIME!
ARF ARF!

[Hustler604]

my friend tells me to keep my phone close by around 1am

phone buzzes

friend: Left or right?
me: what? ummmm
me: left
friend: too late rights in her ass, left on the phone

20mins later

friend: answer, dont talk

phone rings,

massive moaning, friend is calling her every name in the book, she loves it

true story

[Richard Simmons]

^fucking Sweet

[Girl]

Girl:Ok now Im craving attention.
Girl: D!!!!!!!!!!!
DL: go look in the fridge then
Girl: Tried, not there
Girl: I know ur hiding some. Give ME!

[LongDongSilver]

Girl: Damn, if I wasn't seeing <guy's name> on Saturday, I'd totally be texting you about your night.
RS: <guy's name?>
Girl: Yes you read correctly. He just got off the plane. I don't know what to tell him.
RS: what? my nuts?
Girl: no your nuts are seeing <friend's name>'s face on Saturday.
Girl: TEABAG!!!
Girl: u should text me WHILE you're getting sucked off
RS: hmm i should record it, i did w/ <ex's name> fuck she had such a nice ass
Girl: R!! you're horrible! i was only kidding. She's OUR good friend!
Girl: but that be damn funny...and highly awkward to watch.
RS: You'd love it.
Girl: seeing ur penis? uh...no thanks...no offence
This convo is full of lulz ... .. . . .. .. .... :thumbsup:

[hotjoint]

her: what you doin?
me: i thought your not allowed to talk to me?
her: whys that?
me: your controlling bf..
her: yeah hes in mexico...what you doin
me: oh..hahaha, beer and tv...
her: sounds fun....
me: fun yeah, but im in pain...hurt at work
her: awww...you need some tlc baby!!
me: i need a massage...
her: perhaps we can exchange a service?
me: what is my service
her: i think you already know
me: well im free right now
her: head to my place

true story

random 18 year old blonde: what u doing 2nite????i
1990tsi: u hopefully
random 18 year old blonde: K pick me up in 5
1990tsi: k

true story.

gotta love these txt messages :)

[Inaii]

K: He's 6'2
G: Whoa, 6'2 dick? Ouch!
K: Tall :P
G: lol I was talking about dick size
K: Oh, D's 8 :D

[jakz0rz]

person: yo what's your number?
me: noob.

[Girl]

Girl: Yes he's having my kids, he's been pregnant with my kids since HS
GC: I take it kevin is the .5?
Girl: he's brown, use to be my neighbour. we said our kids are gonna come out with turbans and chopsticks in hand
GC: rofl
Girl: well turban would be on their heads. and he's a tiny guy i dunno how that's coming out of him =|
Girl: his asshole maybe?
GC: eeeeeew
Girl: ya i know takes the meaning of brown baby to a whole new level

[El Bastardo]

True story.



http://i33.tinypic.com/2mg88b6.jpg

[Big Daddy]

Vegetarian Friend: I think i'm gonna try steak tonight, wish me luck.
Me: Good luck
VF: The Cows don't mind, do they?
Me: Nope, they live for it

[1983 Z28]

ME: Bar soon?
EB: Ya I'll meet you there soon.
EB: Ya I'll meet you there soon.
EB: Ya I'll meet you there soon.
EB: Ya I'll meet you there soon.
EB: Ya I'll meet you there soon.
EB: Ya I'll meet you there soon.
EB: Ya I'll meet you there soon.
ME: Did you just send me the same message seven times?
EB: No.
Telus Support: For the chance to win a valuable prize, would you agree to take a quick & free survey? Reply YES to start.

[k2_alpha]

^ i dont get it.....

[Girl]

Ryan: Any vday plans
Girl: Ya, states
Ryan: No boy toy? no sucky sucky?
Girl: Out of town for work all weekend :(
Ryan: Aww, no throat yogurt for you!
Girl: Hahaha nope! You? Any yogurt?
Ryan: I will be serving some.

[hotjoint]

Ryan: Any vday plans
Girl: Ya, states
Ryan: No boy toy? no sucky sucky?
Girl: Out of town for work all weekend :(
Ryan: Aww, no throat yogurt for you!
Girl: Hahaha nope! You? Any yogurt?
Ryan: I will be serving some.

:lol nice

[Sandman]

Bro: Hey, have you heard?
Me: What?
Bro: That b-b-b-bird bird bird, the bird is the word!
Me: ...

[JSALES]

Bro: Hey, have you heard?
Me: What?
Bro: That b-b-b-bird bird bird, the bird is the word!
Me: ...

haha family guy

[Inaii]

Inaii: Shot down by the girl he was seeing. Oh god, I think I'm dying.... ROFL!
Girl: HAHAHAHA, It's true, it's all true. No wonder he's so emo, none of his gf's want to have sex with him! WOW
Inaii: Rofl
Girl: Poor guy, oh well.
Inaii: Lol. Maybe he killed a bunny rabbit in a past life.
Girl: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's almost sig worthy!

--------------

Inaii: How about SF?
Girl: SF? san fran? so fresh? oh! Sasha! LOL
Inaii: Sasha fierce....... wow /facepalm
Girl: Ahahahahah! Oh god, I'm drying!

[Raid3n]

lawl. "drying"

[Girl]

Inaii: Shot down by the girl he was seeing. Oh god, I think I'm dying.... ROFL!
Girl: HAHAHAHA, It's true, it's all true. No wonder he's so emo, none of his gf's want to have sex with him! WOW
Inaii: Rofl
Girl: Poor guy, oh well.
Inaii: Lol. Maybe he killed a bunny rabbit in a past life.
Girl: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's almost sig worthy!

--------------

Inaii: How about SF?
Girl: SF? san fran? so fresh? oh! Sasha! LOL
Inaii: Sasha fierce....... wow /facepalm
Girl: Ahahahahah! Oh god, I'm drying!

Moral of the story kids? Don't be an asshole, playboy, emo child rolled into one if you want to get laid.

[RenoMan]

Juan : Hey guess whos still together after all the shit between them? Your ASS CHECKS!!

Me: ahhh!!! wtf

[Girl]

RS: Hey
Girl: How goes it?
RS Tired. Very tired.
Girl: Why?
RS: Late night last night
Girl: Ahahahhahaa with Anna and ur banana ;)
RS:Lol I got blown while watching the hockey game tonight ftw TWICE
RS: Each time, we scored! Lol

[hotjoint]

bj while on watching tv = :thumbsup:

[Girl]

Girl: Thanks J for making me feel better =)
JL: Anything to make u smile McLovin =) Here have a Panda
Girl: *nom*nom*nom*
JL: OMFG DONT EAT THE PANDA YOU TWITTER SHITTER X___X

[!Tigger]

Twitter shitter LOL

[Explosive911]

random 18 year old blonde: what u doing 2nite????i
1990tsi: u hopefully
random 18 year old blonde: K pick me up in 5
1990tsi: k

true story.

Classy squampton girls huh ewic? Let me take a swing at that one... Anal bum slut?
:haha:

Friend:Guess what im on the skytrain lol! =)
Me: OMFG are you dieing????
Friend: No, im okay lol i survived
Me: Oh, okay, than why did you text me to tell me you were on the skytrain?

[6insomnia9]

Bro: Hey, have you heard?
Me: What?
Bro: That b-b-b-bird bird bird, the bird is the word!
Me: ...

LOLOLOL

[Shun Izaki]

The best one I remember between some 15yr old kid n some 14yr old JB

girl: i'm bored
kid: i dunno, i'm staying at *BLANKED*'s place
girl: can i come over?
kid: heh... but you gotta do stuff if you wanna come over
girl: what kinda stuff?
kid: y'know. Fuck
girl: huh?
kid: we fuck
girl: what?
kid: let's fuck
girl: what???

Oh JB... they're all slightly retarded :D

[Girl]

R: hey thar snatchburgar
Girl: Hey there cumsnatcher
R: ur vag full today?
Girl: Yes, with blood buahahhaa. Your dick emptied today?
R: usually is. not enough penor to go around.
Girl: Not the gf this time? Whose the lucky girl?
R: Heather. friend of mine. fucked her on tuesday she's amazing in the sack
Girl:I love how u live with ur gf, fuck her all the time, and still have time and peen juice to go around for others

[hotjoint]

R: hey thar snatchburgar
Girl: Hey there cumsnatcher
R: ur vag full today?
Girl: Yes, with blood buahahhaa. Your dick emptied today?
R: usually is. not enough penor to go around.
Girl: Not the gf this time? Whose the lucky girl?
R: Heather. friend of mine. fucked her on tuesday she's amazing in the sack
Girl:I love how u live with ur gf, fuck her all the time, and still have time and peen juice to go around for others

:lol wow

[Girl]

TLC: Eh, not really but you should just try dating a nice Asian boy. :P
TLC: ..having said that, I don't think you'll want to date anyone I know.
TLC: ...Not saying they're not nice Asian boys (they are), but I don't see a potential match.
Girl:are u saying I'm not worthy of dating your friends?! I'm single u know!!
TLC: Lol You would probably chew up my friends and spit them out. No offence
Girl: Who do u think I am?! LoL I'm usually the one getting hurt =(
TLC: Yeah not with these guys, THey're timid. Totally not what you're used to
Girl: I'm a nice girl! HOnest, I've dated timid!
TLC: I say that cuz I would probably treat them the same way, I like manly man
Girl: Oh ya ok ur right, PUBES pls!
TLC: Hahaha Hey now nothing wrong with shaving :P
Girl: Oh that's preferred, who likes to be tangled in the amazon when going on a safari?!
TLC: Or u know. Floss.
Girl: U mean hairball is more like it...

[skyxx]

The best one I remember between some 15yr old kid n some 14yr old JB

girl: i'm bored
kid: i dunno, i'm staying at *BLANKED*'s place
girl: can i come over?
kid: heh... but you gotta do stuff if you wanna come over
girl: what kinda stuff?
kid: y'know. Fuck
girl: huh?
kid: we fuck
girl: what?
kid: let's fuck
girl: what???

Oh JB... they're all slightly retarded :D

OKAY...YEAHHHHH