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Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.

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Old 05-12-2009, 09:26 PM   #1
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Women dies after using jackhammer as a dildo

ARNDALE, OK – Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.

After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday.

On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostiution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplanted her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor.

Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”


http://decentcommunity.org/2009/05/0...mmer-as-dildo/

LOL
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Old 05-12-2009, 09:29 PM   #2
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Horny MILF.......... gotta love it.

Hell hath no fury like a bitch in heat!
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Old 05-12-2009, 09:29 PM   #3
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kinky...
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Old 05-12-2009, 09:46 PM   #4
OMGWTFBBQ is a common word I say everyday
 
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thats as fucking stupid as a this husband who stuck a dildo at the end of a saber saw
without taking the fucking saw off the unit and proceeded to use it on his gf/wife

needless to say, the saw cut through the dildo and tore up her cunt

survival of the fittest, cant procreate more retard hick hillbillies
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Old 05-12-2009, 10:18 PM   #5
manage the cap you say????
 
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wow wtf..........
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Old 05-12-2009, 10:24 PM   #6
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Fake. All "sources" to the story lead back to DecentCommunity.org. Theres no verified news source on this story.

Its viral and its meant to drive traffic to that site.
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Old 05-12-2009, 10:38 PM   #7
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first the BJ freak accident, now this? Thankfully it's fake
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Old 05-12-2009, 10:45 PM   #8
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bullshit... in her driveway? rofl



according to some guy in oklahoma: " There is no Arndale, Oklahoma, and no Alpara County in Oklahoma."
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Old 05-13-2009, 02:17 PM   #9
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hahahaha
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Old 05-13-2009, 04:09 PM   #10
Revscene.net has a homepage?!
 
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Old 05-13-2009, 04:55 PM   #11
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yeah, that's fucked up, jack-hammer... you'd die in one round. XD
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Old 05-13-2009, 06:36 PM   #12
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Lol, if this is real then, Fail. If this is fake, made me erect.
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Old 05-13-2009, 09:33 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trip View Post
thats as fucking stupid as a this husband who stuck a dildo at the end of a saber saw
without taking the fucking saw off the unit and proceeded to use it on his gf/wife

needless to say, the saw cut through the dildo and tore up her cunt

survival of the fittest, cant procreate more retard hick hillbillies
YO! I don't understand any of this
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