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: A brief and accurate description of World War II


avinayyar
07-23-2009, 03:30 AM
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=World%20War%20II&defid=3821558


Germany invades Czechoslovakia.
Britain & France tell them to stop that bullshit.
Germany invades Poland.
(Russia also invades Poland from the other side: everybody forgets this.)
Britain & France declare war. This is the 'official' kick-off.
Italy, Bulgaria, Hungary, & Romania all join the German side. (Everybody forgets the last three.)
Axis forces go through Europe like vindaloo through a colostomy.
Nazis exterminate Jews, gays, gypsies, & the disabled. (everybody remembers the jews but forgets the rest.)
UK holds out.
Russia & the USA don't do shit.
Entire divisions of Danish, Belgian, Dutch, Norwegian, French & Serbian volunteers join the Axis armies & SS. (everybody forgets this & to listen to them now, they were all in the fucking resistance, which must have been MASSIVE.)
Axis forces invade Russia. Suddenly the Russians don't think it's funny any more.
Japan joins the Axis & bombs Pearl Harbor.
Suddenly the US doesn't think it's funny any more.
The USA tools up the world, 'cause it's got more factories than everybody else put together, & they're out of bomber range.
Axis runs out of steam in Russia, cause Russia's enormous & bloody freezing.
Allies invade on D-Day... 5 landings: 2 British, 2 American, 1 Canadian. (everybody forgets the Canadians.)
Hitler ends up smouldering in a ditch. Russians find the body & confirm he only had one ball. Seriously.
The US decides invading stuff is a pain in the ass and invents the atom bomb instead. Drops two buckets 'o sunshine on Japan.
Russians steal half of Europe.
UK's spent almost every penny it had.
US starts telling everybody how it was all about them, & 64 years later is still doing so.

And this is how i see it all went down >

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v472/notoriousformula/ww2.gif

slammer111
07-23-2009, 04:15 AM
:lol Wow that's actually a pretty damn good summary. I dunno about the Hitler part though. I thought his aides pretty much got rid of his ashes.

I'd also add one line to the end. Hitler's bunker in Berlin gets covered over with gravel and turned into a parking lot, beach cafe, and Holocaust memorial.

dai3yuen
07-23-2009, 06:14 AM
To the tune of 'Colonel Bogey March"

"Hitler, has only got one ball
The other, he lost it in the war..."

Ahhh......memories of English school upbringing....hating the Germans because of the war(s) and hating the French because they're French!!!

Meowjin
07-23-2009, 10:49 AM
alot of missing facts.

BNR32_Coupe
07-23-2009, 11:13 AM
what about vietnam and france?

achiam
07-23-2009, 11:22 AM
They should have kept nuking Japan until their death toll equaled that of China's. I hope China becomes an ultra power one day and rapes Japan of its natural resources like what they did to Manchuria for 50 years. To all the other Chinese people on here, never forget what those assholes did to us - they killed more of us than the Jews by Hitler!

BNR32_Coupe
07-23-2009, 11:35 AM
They should have kept nuking Japan until their death toll equaled that of China's. I hope China becomes an ultra power one day and rapes Japan of its natural resources like what they did to Manchuria for 50 years. To all the other Chinese people on here, never forget what those assholes did to us - they killed more of us than the Jews by Hitler!

yeah but we're all friends now. US needs japan, like japan needs the US, same with china. nowadays, everybody's leaning on each other.

Qmx323
07-23-2009, 11:39 AM
not to mention we probably mostly drive japanese cars.

q0192837465
07-23-2009, 12:31 PM
japanese girls ftw

twitchyzero
07-23-2009, 01:28 PM
this thread reminds me of my history 12 study notes haha.
my favourite course in high school thanks to an awesome teacher.

They should have kept nuking Japan until their death toll equaled that of China's. I hope China becomes an ultra power one day and rapes Japan of its natural resources like what they did to Manchuria for 50 years. To all the other Chinese people on here, never forget what those assholes did to us - they killed more of us than the Jews by Hitler!

Nanjing Massacre is devastating..but I dont recall it being anywhere near the death of more than 6million people. (think it was under 0.5 mill)

Unfortunately, ROC returned the massacre upon the Taiwanese population just 10 years after the Nanjing Massacre.

WOW I always thought Stalin was #1 when it came to massacres..nopes.
http://users.erols.com/mwhite28/warstat1.htm#Mao

bengy
07-23-2009, 01:48 PM
They should have kept nuking Japan until their death toll equaled that of China's. I hope China becomes an ultra power one day and rapes Japan of its natural resources like what they did to Manchuria for 50 years. To all the other Chinese people on here, never forget what those assholes did to us - they killed more of us than the Jews by Hitler!

Butthurt much?

Gumby
07-23-2009, 03:23 PM
Haha that animated gif kicks ass. If socials was this fun back then, I wouldn't have hated it so much. :p

Culture_Vulture
07-23-2009, 03:42 PM
this thread made my day :lol

Vansterdam
07-23-2009, 03:54 PM
nicely done

CorneringArtist
07-23-2009, 04:01 PM
Where was this when I was in Socials 11? It would have been the PERFECT study tool!

Harvey Specter
07-23-2009, 04:55 PM
LOL, gold.

achiam
07-23-2009, 05:04 PM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_II_casualties

I'm not sure how accurate the Wiki figures are, but the Chinese death toll I read before in a textbook placed it around 13M, whereas 7M died in Germany. The Wiki page places Chinese civilian deaths at 16M.

achiam
07-23-2009, 05:05 PM
this thread reminds me of my history 12 study notes haha.
my favourite course in high school thanks to an awesome teacher.



Nanjing Massacre is devastating..but I dont recall it being anywhere near the death of more than 6million people. (think it was under 0.5 mill)

Unfortunately, ROC returned the massacre upon the Taiwanese population just 10 years after the Nanjing Massacre.

WOW I always thought Stalin was #1 when it came to massacres..nopes.
http://users.erols.com/mwhite28/warstat1.htm#Mao

The Nanjing massacre was a one time event, whereas the occupation of Manchuria went on for many many years.

oinkoinkpig
07-23-2009, 07:36 PM
Germany officially apologized, Japan....hummmm

jackmeister
07-23-2009, 08:05 PM
alright, us chinese bros.. we know what to do.

one jap chick at a time.

some_punk
07-23-2009, 08:24 PM
not to mention we probably mostly drive japanese cars.
But it was americans that won the war in fact I think they mostly used GM trucks.

Meowjin
07-23-2009, 08:46 PM
They should have kept nuking Japan until their death toll equaled that of China's. I hope China becomes an ultra power one day and rapes Japan of its natural resources like what they did to Manchuria for 50 years. To all the other Chinese people on here, never forget what those assholes did to us - they killed more of us than the Jews by Hitler!

:rolleyes:

I guess in my case I should go murder muslims.

Meowjin
07-23-2009, 08:47 PM
this thread reminds me of my history 12 study notes haha.
my favourite course in high school thanks to an awesome teacher.



Nanjing Massacre is devastating..but I dont recall it being anywhere near the death of more than 6million people. (think it was under 0.5 mill)

Unfortunately, ROC returned the massacre upon the Taiwanese population just 10 years after the Nanjing Massacre.

WOW I always thought Stalin was #1 when it came to massacres..nopes.
http://users.erols.com/mwhite28/warstat1.htm#Mao

12 million people in the holocause. Fucking jews take all the glory.

6 million orthodox christians were massacered too (serbia, greece, ukraine, russia etc...)

and yeah communism has caused more deaths than any religion or crusade combined.

TOS'd
07-23-2009, 10:01 PM
WWII...as a comic! Reads left to right.
http://img43.yfrog.com/img43/6605/wwiic.jpg

twitchyzero
07-23-2009, 10:06 PM
HOLY EPICCC
post of the year
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>OP's lecture :lol

trancehead
07-23-2009, 10:39 PM
haha wow stole the thunder

Elder_MMHS
07-23-2009, 11:38 PM
That comic was awesome!

The7even
07-24-2009, 10:47 AM
They should have kept nuking Japan until their death toll equaled that of China's. I hope China becomes an ultra power one day and rapes Japan of its natural resources like what they did to Manchuria for 50 years. To all the other Chinese people on here, never forget what those assholes did to us - they killed more of us than the Jews by Hitler!

That is a very stupid thing to say.

q0192837465
07-24-2009, 12:24 PM
god, they should start making textbooks like these. I'm sure everyone won't fall asleep in class. Well, except that the nerds will complain, but who ccacres about nerds anyways

woob
07-24-2009, 12:36 PM
fkkkking awesome comic lols

slammer111
07-24-2009, 12:57 PM
god, they should start making textbooks like these. I'm sure everyone won't fall asleep in class. Well, except that the nerds will complain, but who ccacres about nerds anyways^ Until the "cool" kids all get out of school, realize that popularity means nothing in real life, and all end up working for one. ;)