[penner2k]

Ok so here is the deal. One of my buddies seems to be pissed off at me.
I'll start with a bit of a backstory.
One of my buddies and me sometimes go out partying. Only problem is he doesnt like going to clubs. He says everyone is stuck up (which I dont totally disagree with) but the problem is he doesnt even bother trying to talk to people.. he just sorta assumes everyone is the same and doesnt give anyone a chance... I'd say 3/4 of the time when we make plans I sorta just let him decide where we go. Sometimes I dont like the places we go but I just sorta put my game face on and make the best of it. Whenever we go where I wanna go he doesnt even give it a chance and ends up complaining. Most of the time I just give in eventually but I end up getting a bit pissed off cuz I'm actually having a good time. I dont wanna see my buddies not having a good time though.

Well yesterday I decided to invite him out. I told him what my plans were and he came anyways. Well the Red Bull event was fun and then we went to my buddies bar to go say hi to some ppl that I hadnt seen in a while. Well he seems to be having an alright time till my other buddy buys a round of shots but left my buddy out (after he told me the reason he didnt give him one is cuz it sometimes seems like he is expecting free shit.. we had been there for half an hour and he still hadnt even bought himself a drink).. After that he got into his mood again. I just sorta ignored it cuz I was having a good time. Shortly after he starts asking when we are leaving. I tell him I'm not sure. He decides to walk around. He starts bugging me again so I just ask him if he minds taking the skytrain home (he lives 5 minutes away from the station).. He said no problem and left.

Well we were supposed to goto the beach and meet up with some ppl today so I message him asking what was going on.
He sends me this

"In all honesty I just wanna hang out with these ppl today. Still a little annoyed over last night. Dont take it the wrong way"

then he sends me another message saying

"Personally. I just need today to chill out."


The thing is I just dont think I did anything wrong.
I told him what my plans were and he still wanted to come out. I guess I could just not invite him out anytime I might possibly do something he wont like but that seems dumb too since he would miss out on some fun stuff. Most of the time when I go out I have no set in stone plans anyways. Just sorta decide as I go along.

Dont get me wrong. I like hanging out with him (I've been friends with him for 10 years) so I'm not gonna just tell him to fuck off but at the same time I dont think there is a reason for him to be annoyed with me.

Discuss


And mods.. please dont move this to a forum I'm banned from.. lol

[CounterPuncher]

No your friend is a pussy and needs to be lower maitenance.

He's one of those people that is unhappy because no one invites them out, but no one invites them out because they always get upset because things aren't perfect.

[Geenius]

i think u hurt him deep man........

[penner2k]

No your friend is a pussy and needs to be lower maitenance.

He's one of those people that is unhappy because no one invites them out, but no one invites them out because they always get upset because things aren't perfect.

That is pretty much what one of my buddies said last night. Like I said though. Dont like to see my buddies not having a good time.

[pawdregry4g]

question: is his personality completely different when he msns/texts versus how he is in person?

[penner2k]

question: is his personality completely different when he msns/texts versus how he is in person?

Not really

[azzurro32]

he doesnt sound too mad. more dissapointed at himself for not fitting in. if he doesnt wanna hang out with your friends it just means hes not having fun. stop asking him out when you know your gonna end up going somewhere he normally wont find fun

[Anjew]

change "buddy" into "GF" and that sums up my life....... fuck my life.

[-EuroRSN-]

No offense but are u guys fucking 12? Who cares if he has a problem let him deal with it there is no point to baby sit anyone especially since he knew what you guys are doing that night. Oh and i just have to ask, ARE U GUYS MARRIED AS A GAY COUPLE?? as always no offense intended!

[obselete]

^^yeah U GUYS SOUND LIK A FUKIN COUPLE.
tell him to grow a set of scrotums

[penner2k]

No offense but are u guys fucking 12? Who cares if he has a problem let him deal with it there is no point to baby sit anyone especially since he knew what you guys are doing that night. Oh and i just have to ask, ARE U GUYS MARRIED AS A GAY COUPLE?? as always no offense intended!

^^yeah U GUYS SOUND LIK A FUKIN COUPLE.
tell him to grow a set of scrotums

So cuz I'm a loyal friend that makes us a gay couple now?
Wow.. lol
Obviously you dont get it.

I wasnt asking for advice on how to handle this situation. I was asking if I did anything wrong.

[JSALES]

your friend buying the round of shots except for him probably made him feel unwanted, your friend is really picky about what to do

[rsx]

Your buddy sounds like:

1. A Debbie downer
2. Cheap ass
3. A bitch

I wouldn't invite him out at all, people like that always ruin the night with their constant whining. As for the shots, who cares?? If that happened, I would've just bought him a drink so he doesnt feel left out. But, if he was a trooper, he would've bought your crew another round of shots to be friendly at least..

[liu13]

does this "situation" really warrant a thread

[fliptuner]

I stopped feeling any remorse for people who come out with me and are cheap and expect the rest of the group to cater to them.

They guy that bought the first round probably knew that your buddy wouldn't reciprocate, so what's the point? He figured he'd just be supporting a freeloader. I'd feel the same way.

So to answer your question, no, you shouldn't feel bad. If you're as close to this guy as you make it sound, you should tell him, nicely, why it is that the others act that way towards him. Sounds like he needs his eyes opened.

[StylinRed]

sounds like he just wants to chill out on his own today or whatever and you're taking it a bit too personally

he probably felt a bit let down when you told him to take the skytrain home i would be too... but i dont think it bothered him that much....


when i go to a club with my buddies i just like to sit back and chill out (i dont drink either) and a lot of times they think im in a bad mood or are concerned that im not havin fun and i gotta encourage them to go dance or hit up some chicks..

a couple of them might still think im not enjoying myself and stick around with me so then i gotta get some chicks to come and take them dancing (i think they might stick around too cuz they cant get chicks)



you both sound like pussies though btw

[PiuYi]

he didnt sound pissed

[SkinnyPupp]

You basically ditched your buddy to hang out with your "cool" friends and go drinking, and you knowingly let your bartender friend leave him out of a round of shots.

It doesn't look like he's that mad, but IMO you were not a very good friend to him. Asshole!

[MR_BIGGS]

You basically ditched your buddy to hang out with your "cool" friends and go drinking, and you knowingly let your bartender friend leave him out of a round of shots.

It doesn't look like he's that mad, but IMO you were not a very good friend to him. Asshole!

Hit the nail in the head...

[J____]

tell him to man up and be more optimistic. If he doesnt change and keep being like that, either exclude him from your outtings or find a new friend. no point in changing the way you naturally act and always have to be wary of how he feels when you go out all the time. It'll drag your mood down in the long run too. It's harsh and of course you want to be loyal to your friend but sometimes it just doesnt work.

[penner2k]

That "bartender friend" happens to be my best friend. I didnt ditch my friend either. I honestly wasnt sure how long I'd be staying there and I figured it would be better to tell him that so he could take the skytrain while it was still running.
After thinking about it I didnt do anything wrong. He is just being selfish. I've gone to many nights where it was totally not my crowd. I would mingle and keep myself entertained till he felt like going. I wouldnt bug him to leave.
Really when it comes down to it I'm not inviting him out to anything anymore. I'll still hang out with him but it will be stuff he wants to do.

/end thread

[impactX]

Seems like you are just looking for assurance from us that you didn't do anything wrong, and you are already telling yourself that, then why ask us?

[penner2k]

Seems like you are just looking for assurance from us that you didn't do anything wrong, and you are already telling yourself that, then why ask us?

This morning I wasnt sure. Once the hangover went away I could think clearly again.

[SkinnyPupp]

I'll still hang out with him but it will be stuff he wants to do.


There ya go.

Not everyone is into the same things all the time, but that doesn't mean you can't be best friends.

[Dan_Guy]

From the overall thing, it seems to me that you are the asshole friend.

Forget last night.

But today you went online, and pretty much bashed your friend behind his back on the internet to random people, trying to prove that you were right.

Why not figure your own stuff out and not whine to the internet?
/thread.

[WHEYsted]

Go to friendship counseling.

[quasi]

There ya go.

Not everyone is into the same things all the time, but that doesn't mean you can't be best friends.

Totally, like most people I have really good friends who have a lot of the same interests and some totally opposite ones. When it comes to the same interests we hang out when it comes to doing things the other doesn't like we don't bother inviting each other because we know it's awkward and not fun for either party. There are no hurt feelings or anything it's just a mutual understanding.

[124Y]

I think it's the fact that you don't let him know that sometimes you are considerate towards him and still stuck around when it wasn't your crowd that caused him to think you are being a jerk to him. If he thought about how you were considerate for him before, maybe he will be considerate to you next time. But again, some people have lower EQ than others.

[boss_clad]

you can't please everybody, and he's gotta not be sucha downer.

both are in the wrong..but moreso with you, cause if you invite him out, you gotta give him attention..and just because he's not having a good time, doesnt mean you shouldn't either..he should've just peaced it without you having to tell him so.. just talk it out with him. miscommunication leads to misunderstanding.

every week me and my buddy go clubbin, but this one friday, he was invited to a bachelor party and he asked if he could bring me. naturally they said it was a closed party. so he said wtv, lets go clubbing then.

i thought "fuck man, we can go clubbing anyother time..but you need to go see some titties..just drop me off at home."

point in case: never ever drag your buddies down. you shouldn't even invite him out if you know he's not gonna have a good time.

[mmmk]

Your friend's a downer with his own agenda, still a baby boy.

But on a side note, none of my friends have ever told me to skytrain/cab home before, EVER!

[!Tigger]

^did you ever feel leftout and wanted to go home early?

[maxxxboost]

But on a side note, none of my friends have ever told me to skytrain/cab home before, EVER!

That's true. I think asking him, "do you mind taking the skytrain home" is worse then making him stick around till you're ready to leave. If he leave on his own, that's his problem.

I think he has something to be pissed about for you ditching him. But you already know he gets in these kinds of funks so just apologize to him for the skytrain part and never invite him out to any other events you may think he might not enjoy.

[TheKingdom2000]

i thought you were his girlfriend for a second..

lol, not one of his guy buddies.

[FI-Z33]

maybe you should have a talk with him and see what he really wants? :S
maybe somethn's going on lately that's bothering him?

[liu13]

close this thread already, getting frivolous

[Hot Karl]

I stopped feeling any remorse for people who come out with me and are cheap and expect the rest of the group to cater to them.

They guy that bought the first round probably knew that your buddy wouldn't reciprocate, so what's the point? He figured he'd just be supporting a freeloader. I'd feel the same way.

So to answer your question, no, you shouldn't feel bad. If you're as close to this guy as you make it sound, you should tell him, nicely, why it is that the others act that way towards him. Sounds like he needs his eyes opened.

they are called rounds. not partials. and when you are cut out of the first round right off the bat, you're full of shit if you think that person wouldn't feel excluded.

why do folks feel the need to order rounds if they are gonna complain about an extra drink?

[ilvtofu]

hes a loser...

[Great68]

Holy shit, sounds like we need to call in Dr. Phil.

But my buddies would be pretty pissed if I invited them out, and then my other buddies excluded them on the FIRST ROUND, especially if they were singled out.

[you!]

You basically ditched your buddy to hang out with your "cool" friends and go drinking, and you knowingly let your bartender friend leave him out of a round of shots.

It doesn't look like he's that mad, but IMO you were not a very good friend to him. Asshole!


totally agree with this

OP - yeh ur an asshole for complaining about how ur buddy sounded pissed at u...it doesn't even matter if the barternder was a closer friend

think of it this way...imagine urself in his shoes, u get invited by ur friend to a place where u don't really know anybody, get left out for shots, ur buddy then ignores u and focuses more on his other friends...wouldn't that make u feel unwanted too?

anyways, just be straight up with him and tell him that he needs to loosen up a bit, ur both guys so i'm sure that wont be too hard to bring up...u should also look out for him more when shit happens, like u should have done something when he got left out for drinks

[penner2k]

What do you want me to tell my friend that bought the shots?

"Thanx for the drink but you should give my buddy a drink too even though you have already given him hundreds of dollars worth of drinks in the past even though he has never bothered to buy you a drink and now actually stands there and waits till you give him something?"

Or am I supposed to buy him a drink even though I'm not working right now and have to feed myself, pay rent and make payments while he lives at home for free? The thing is I'm always buying him drinks when we go out. I dont expect him to match me but it would be nice if every so often he would return the favor.
Another example was a couple weeks ago we went to teh casino for my buddies bday. Everyone loses there money but my one buddy. He put a quarter in the slot machine and ended up winning like $125. We are by the bar and my buddy buys himself a drink. The guy who's bday it was goes up and is about to buy himself a drink. I turned to my buddy and said "(friends name) has some extra cash... he can buy your drink.. its your bday". He sorta turned to me and gave me a dirty look cuz I was suggesting that he spend $5 buying a friend a bday drink.

Also I didnt tell my buddy to go home. Just after like the third time him asking me when we were leaving I was getting annoyed and I just said that I was having a good time and wasnt sure when I would be going home. Then I just said that since he lived so close to the skytrain he could just take that home if he really wanted to go home then.

[penner2k]

That's true. I think asking him, "do you mind taking the skytrain home" is worse then making him stick around till you're ready to leave. If he leave on his own, that's his problem.

I think he has something to be pissed about for you ditching him. But you already know he gets in these kinds of funks so just apologize to him for the skytrain part and never invite him out to any other events you may think he might not enjoy.


That was midnight when that happened. Skytrain stops running at 1:15..

What would piss you off more..

1) Someone telling you "I'm not sure when I'm leaving" and then not getting home till almost 6 am.

or

2) Being told "Im not sure when I'm leaving but if you really want to go home you can still catch the skytrain"

Personally I would be more pissed with option 1 since after 1 he would have been stuck there for 5 more hours. I wasnt an asshole about it.