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Old 08-17-2010, 07:48 PM   #1
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Jerkoff Arrested After Ejaculating Two Times into a Female Co-worker's Water Bottle


This mug shot belongs to Michael Kevin Lallana, a 31 year old sick freak from California who's being charged by the Orange County District Attorney's office on two misdemeanor counts of releasing an offensive material in a public place and assault. The so-called "offensive material" is actually his sperm, which he "discharged" (read: jerked off) into his female co-worker's water bottle at Northwestern Mutual Mortgage Company in Newport Beach on January 14th, reports the Orange County Register. According to the newspaper, his female victim -- identified as "Jane Doe" -- drank the water when she returned to her desk. Guess what happened next?



The Register reports she bottle away after feeling "sickened and irritated." Three months later, on April 9th, April 9, Lallana planted his seed into the ladies water bottle and planted it on her desk, again. Jane Doe drank the protein shake, again, and felt sick, again. However, rather then disposing of the evidence, the women sent the water bottle to a DNA lab where they were identified as Lallana's bodily fluids. Lallana was arrested this morning after Jane Doe pressed charges.


source - http://www.ocregister.com/news/prose...ana-water.html

man i laughed hard when i first read this
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Old 08-17-2010, 07:53 PM   #2
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........What the hell is wrong w/ this guy.



Time to add "Possible Sperm Ingested" into the medical field as a cause when you have a symptom of a stomache ache. Wonder what his sentence is going to be.

I'd like to see, "Drink own sperm contaminated water every day for a year". That should fix up the sick fuck.

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Old 08-17-2010, 08:00 PM   #3
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what a retard, he should go back to BIO 12
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Old 08-17-2010, 08:01 PM   #4
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^ hahah that's not a bad idea for a sentence
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Old 08-17-2010, 08:02 PM   #5
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I wonder if the term "protein shake" was used as a pun... or if she really was drinking a protein shake lol
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Old 08-17-2010, 08:06 PM   #6
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wtf? usually you don't need to do a DNA test to work for a company. This means that after Jane sent the bottle in, everyone was required to do a sperm test of some sort, or at least the male employees? that doesn't quite make sense.
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Old 08-17-2010, 08:07 PM   #7
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I'm sure he will be drinking enough of it in jail
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Old 08-17-2010, 08:09 PM   #8
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wtf? usually you don't need to do a DNA test to work for a company. This means that after Jane sent the bottle in, everyone was required to do a sperm test of some sort, or at least the male employees? that doesn't quite make sense.
Hey look, another possible scenario is maybe she verified it w/ a piece of his hair or something.
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Old 08-17-2010, 08:12 PM   #9
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i bet she wanted a protein drink
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Old 08-17-2010, 08:25 PM   #10
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Seems like bullshit, or at least not the whole story. Why would drinking a bit of his semen diluted in water maker her feel sick in the first place? And the second time, why would she suspect him and do a "DNA test"?
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Old 08-17-2010, 08:36 PM   #11
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That's what I always wondered about how do investigations solve these kind of crime?

It's the same for any kind of evidence left behind in a crime scene.
Police just somehow is able to tag it to some guy. Does police have my semen sample?
I don't recall them taking any from me...
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Old 08-17-2010, 10:06 PM   #12
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Need pics of the sperm drinking whore.
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Old 08-17-2010, 10:12 PM   #13
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Old 08-17-2010, 10:25 PM   #14
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have you guys seen what semen looks llike in water? with each spert, it stays together... its doesnt really dissolve into the water...

sex in the bathtub FTW!
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Old 08-17-2010, 10:33 PM   #15
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have you guys seen what semen looks llike in water? with each spert, it stays together... its doesnt really dissolve into the water...

sex in the bathtub FTW!
So... you float around in your own jizz? o_O
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Old 08-17-2010, 10:39 PM   #16
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he'll be having cock meat sandwiches
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Old 08-17-2010, 10:47 PM   #17
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have you guys seen what semen looks llike in water? with each spert, it stays together... its doesnt really dissolve into the water...

sex in the bathtub FTW!
If the semen was mixed in a cold drink, it will some-what dissolve and not float. However, since it is made up of protein, once it is cooked (or heated) it will solidify, and float around.
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Old 08-17-2010, 10:51 PM   #18
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You guys sure know alot about sperm.
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Old 08-17-2010, 11:09 PM   #19
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oh that dick had that coming

I guess she could swallow the fact and move on

The future is looks cloudy for the guy

The lady shouldn't have drank the murky water

She never saw that coming in her way
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Old 08-17-2010, 11:10 PM   #20
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I put the phone down just to read this, now I am laughing like a retard..
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Old 08-17-2010, 11:54 PM   #21
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this guy is indeed a jerkoff
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Old 08-18-2010, 01:33 AM   #22
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Seems like bullshit, or at least not the whole story. Why would drinking a bit of his semen diluted in water maker her feel sick in the first place? And the second time, why would she suspect him and do a "DNA test"?
I'm thinking either she knows what sperm tastes like, knew something was up with the water. And made up the feeling sick thing to cover up so she doesn't look like a swallower.

Or

She actually felt sick and wanted to get the water tested for contaminates, the testing lab found semen in it, then they had to do a DNA test.

Either way, that dudes pretty fucked up. Funny ass story though.
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Old 08-18-2010, 04:29 AM   #23
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So... you float around in your own jizz? o_O
well after sex, my girl and I both shower.... its not like we just sit there and bathe in it..
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Old 08-18-2010, 04:56 AM   #24
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wtf? would she not recognize the stench of jizz the minute she opened the cap?

and why would she feel sick? tons of chicks swallow entire mouthfuls of the stuff in bukkake videos all the time, i'm sure they're fine!
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Old 08-18-2010, 05:32 AM   #25
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its like in superbad

"you would think theres like this giant sperm database and every crime scene has semen on it... but no, its not like that."
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