[TheKingdom2000]

Top five regrets of the dying | Life and style | guardian.co.uk (http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying)

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Lifeandhealth/Pix/pictures/2012/2/1/1328095383283/The-top-five-regrets-of-t-007.jpg

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

[1exotic]

repost

[kwy]

I haven't seen it yet.

[murd0c]

I don't see the fear of dieing what so ever, just think its the unknown and you finally get to find out what is actually next.

[TheKingdom2000]

I don't see the fear of dieing what so ever, just think its the unknown and you finally get to find out what is actually next.

You're not afraid of dying?
My friend isn't either. He says what's the point of being afraid, since we all die sooner or later.
I know we all eventually die, but I don't see how people like him and you aren't afraid. I wish I had your outlook.

[GabAlmighty]

Ya, I've had a good wake up call. I'm not afraid of dying either. It's a strange feeling and usually causes your friends to feel uneasy when you bring it up.

[murd0c]

You're not afraid of dying?
My friend isn't either. He says what's the point of being afraid, since we all die sooner or later.
I know we all eventually die, but I don't see how people like him and you aren't afraid. I wish I had your outlook.

Whats there to be afraid of? if things were meant to be they were meant to be. Lifes to short to have to worry about it being over.

[Matlock]

I'm not afraid of dying, either. It's an inevitable part of life. Every beginning has an end. You live your life and can only accomplish so much. If you die, then you die. There's really not much more to it.

[Presto]

mx703, Why are you afraid to die? I used to be very fearful of dying. Then, I had my car accident where I almost died, and just lost my fear. I was already a believer at the time, but the accident was a catalyst that affected me spiritually, and gave me great peace in regards to the future, and my eventual death. I look forward to what awaits me after I'm done here.

[murd0c]

mx703, Why are you afraid to die? I used to be very fearful of dying. Then, I had my car accident where I almost died, and just lost my fear. I was already a believer at the time, but the accident was a catalyst that affected me spiritually, and gave me great peace in regards to the future, and my eventual death. I look forward to what awaits me after I'm done here.

If more people had your mind frame this world would be a better place in a way

[Dinan3]

I think the main fear of dying is that you may not see your loved ones again.

[TheKingdom2000]

mx703, Why are you afraid to die? I used to be very fearful of dying. Then, I had my car accident where I almost died, and just lost my fear. I was already a believer at the time, but the accident was a catalyst that affected me spiritually, and gave me great peace in regards to the future, and my eventual death. I look forward to what awaits me after I'm done here.

So you believe in God? or the after life?

I don't know. For me it just seems like when you die, you die.
And I don't have the mental capacity to deal with that yet.

[murd0c]

So you believe in God? or the after life?

I don't know. For me it just seems like when you die, you die.
And I don't have the mental capacity to deal with that yet.

the big question is do you just die? she I wanna know one day but I personally think this universe is way to complex to just be gone if you know what I mean.

[DC5-S]

I think dying is like eternal slumber without a dream.. You just ain't "there". And I believe the only time you exist again is when you're reborn to someone else.
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[Sid Vicious]

100% bullshit

#1 should be: i wished i fucked that bitch when i had the chance

[MG1]

Today, I can honestly say I don't fear death, but I bet when it comes time to die, things may turn out totally different. Also, it depends on your situation. If you are married, have children, single, young, old, etc.

My biggest fear would be somewhere along the lines of, who will look after my family and children when I'm gone? When my father passed away, I think he was at peace with himself. He had no worries, really. His house was paid off. His children were set for life (career, family, etc.). He got to watch his grandchildren grow up happy and healthy. He died knowing everything was going to be OK. He had done his job.

[xilley]

so.. all of you guys up there that said your not afraid of dieing, If today mexican cartel kidnapped you and took you down to mexico, put you on camera. and within matter of seconds your going to get murked.

are you guys able to just be like Oh well, death is comming..

I know for fucking sure I cant. :fuckthatshit:

[MG1]

100% bullshit

#1 should be: i wished i fucked that bitch when i had the chance

I think about that everyday, my man.......... no need to wait till you're on your death bed taking your last few breaths. Better things to think about.........

[JD¹³]

I'm only 26 and I'm already making all five wishes :okay: Sadly I don't see any way out of it, man has enslaved themselves to a system. Even some of the most basic things I'd like to accomplish in my life cost money, and taking money away from basics I need just to get by with food, housing and so on is not an option for me and many many other people like me. It's a very bad Catch 22. To be honest if I was paralysed or diagnosed with a terminal disease right now I would die enraged and with almost nothing BUT regret.
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[Anjew]

So you believe in God? or the after life?

I don't know. For me it just seems like when you die, you die.
And I don't have the mental capacity to deal with that yet.

i'm the same with you on this.

intelligence tells me that when we die its over. but part of me also wishes that its just a start of another journey.

[bloodmack]

Why worry about when/if your going to die? Hell why would you think about death in the first place? Its a given that we aren't immortal. Everyone has "regrets" I know I do but I dont dwell on them. When I die on my death bed I will die with a smile.

[q0192837465]

maybe being dead is just like how you were before you were born

[CanadaGoose]

No way I'd accept dieing anytime soon. I have unfinished business in this life, still lots to get done.

http://www.daimanuel.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/i-love-my-fear.jpg

[Hondaracer]

You don't fear death, but do you fear cancer, diseases, am agonizing death?

How could you not? You may not care about yourself but you'd know you would be torturing others
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[Aetios]

I'm not worried about dying, but more so about how I'm going to die. I hope when I go, it will be quick and painless.

[pinn3r]

i don't really give a shit about dying either; as long as i die smiling (and hopefully not a painful, desperate death of agony)
to leave the world a better place, and to know that one life has breathed easier because i existed ... heck that's enough for me

i tell this to my friends&family and they're all like "you selfish motherfucker"

[NLY]

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

I would not hesitate to give my life for my family. One of my uncles passed away because of a bad heart. I was only a kid but if I could give him mine I would.

[Qmx323]

Death is the only certainty in life.

:okay:

[Oleophobic]

I'm not really afraid of dying (I guess it's because I'm still young) but I am afraid of drowning though...to me that's a horrible way to die.

[see.lai]

Let's not get started with ways to die now.. :denied:

[J89]

This thread is so :fulloffuck:

[Oleophobic]

Here's the original thread

http://www.revscene.net/forums/650033-nurse-reveals-top-5-secrets-people-make-their-deathbed.html

Not to take anything away from the OP, just posting this in case anyone is interested because I noticed the explanations are longer in the original thread.

[LiquidTurbo]

If more people had your mind frame this world would be a better place in a way

I disagree. If you look forward to the end, you deprive yourself of living the best life you can,while you still can.

I on the other hand happen to think that this is the only life you have, you might as well make the most of it.

Mx703,why should you be scare of the year 2150? Were you scared of the year 1950?

[AzNightmare]

I wouldn't say I fear death, but I definitely don't want to die... not yet.
I feel I have so many more things left to do.

But if I die, then I die, and so be it.

I've been in a car accident where I was stupid, pulling some Initial D stunt,
car flipped upside down, rolled several times. Probably should have died that night.
But nope... I actually didn't even get a single scratch or cut.

[ae101]

i believe that once your born the purpose is to await for death, its just that different ppl have different ways & times of meeting death

also during this time while u wait u started to get a attach to things in life making it hard for u to leave when the time comes

[murd0c]

I disagree. If you look forward to the end, you deprive yourself of living the best life you can,while you still can.

I on the other hand happen to think that this is the only life you have, you might as well make the most of it.

Mx703,why should you be scare of the year 2150? Were you scared of the year 1950?

But as well if you are scared to die you might not take those chances and risks that you might of taken other wise. The key to life is being happy and honestly if you are happy thats all you can really ask for. It doesn't matter if you are worried or not worried about living and dieing just as it doesn't hold you back.

[TheKingdom2000]

Mx703,why should you be scare of the year 2150? Were you scared of the year 1950?

? Confused. There's no way any of us here will live to 2150. I'm definitely not making it out of the 21st century.

Thinking about it now the only way I think life would suck is if I outlive my friends, wife, children and their grandchildren. Which I won't.

I don't know how to put it in words. I'm just so scared of not waking up. Not that I would even know if I didn't wake up. It's just the thought of not waking up.
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[PJ]

#1, 2, and 5 really hit home with me.

There was a worker in the company I currently work for. He worked for the company for over 30 years. He retired, and passed away 2 days after his retirement. Didn't even get to really enjoy life. In a nutshell, he went to school, went to work, and passed away.

That was a bit of a wake up call for me to start doing things I really want to do. Life is short. I currently work 3 "jobs." I'm an engineer by day, and I'm a writer and a songwriter/producer when I'm not at my day job. I plan to quit my engineering job this year and live a little more.

A couple quotes for the open minded..

"Keep doing what you're doing, keep getting what you're getting."

"When you look back in life, you'll only remember the things you did do, not the things you didn't."

It's amazing how so many people (including myself) know that we want a change in our lives, but we're too scared to make a change.

A lot of people make fun of the guy who sold everything, bought and drove a Lambo across the country and then opened a motorcycle shop. No, of course it's not the best financial decision, but he can say that he did it with no regrets. You only live once, and life's too short to only get 2-4 weeks vacation a year, only to come back to the same monotonous routine.

[!oHenry]

I don't fear death although I have always assumed it is because I am still young. I always wondered if my mindset will change once I have a family or have some dependants.
A few of my good friends (me included) would rather die than live as a vegetable. I believe people don't fear death, but fear the loss of consiousness.