[sevewone]

Anyone got that one friend who cant stick to anything and always bails?

I do, and its fucking annoying. I have a buddy who seems to bail out of plans probably once every 7 times we hang out. When we hang out we get along good, but no homo I feel like I don't even want to chill with the guy. I have told him numerous times but I feel like i am just a part time friend.

What do you guys think? Ditch this fucker, or accept hes a flaky bastard?

[knight604]

Time to find new friends? Ask tos'd to chill , he will suk your toes.

[sevewone]

I have lots of friends, this is just A friend.

[Nicotine]

if hes got a legit reason then whatever,
but jsut tell him next time that if hes unsure not to say yes or to promise to come or to make you wait. this happens to often now a days and it really pisses me off.
you dont want to come do somthing fine. but dont say "ya" or "maybe" just to have me fucking wait there like a retard.

[XplicitLuder]

if you got other friends, just occupy your time with those who dont bail ?

[sevewone]

if hes got a legit reason then whatever,
but jsut tell him next time that if hes unsure not to say yes or to promise to come or to make you wait. this happens to often now a days and it really pisses me off.
you dont want to come do somthing fine. but dont say "ya" or "maybe" just to have me fucking wait there like a retard.

Couldn't agree more , no one now a days can give very solid answers to anything , it's almost as if bailing out and not commuting yourself to anything is socially acceptable

/rant


I have also told him numerous times not to commit if he can't .


if you got other friends, just occupy your time with those who dont bail ?

We just get along really well when we hang out .
Posted via RS Mobile

[Matlock]

I don't have friends. My girlfriend has friends.

Does they count as my friends? :alone:

[kkthind]

I don't have friends. My girlfriend has friends.

Does they count as my friends? :alone:


:lol:
Posted via RS Mobile

[pinn3r]

yea i got a couple friends like that

i'd call em out a few times and if they constantly bail using illegitimate reasons, i wouldn't call em out again
then we'd never chill; and frankly, i don't give a fucc
if you have better friends, don't even waste your time

[wingies]

I have friends who do that too and I basically put them on the backburner. They never want to commit to something, its a simple yes or no answer. Its like they wanna see if threres anything else better to do and if not THEN they'll chill with u

Its fucking annoying when you ask them to go for coffee,movies, or whatever and they're like "whos going" or "whos there". Like thye wanna make sure its worth their time before they commit to something

[DragonChi]

Always have a backup plan? does your world revolve around this guy?

Find new friends or hang out with other friends you have already.

[BurnoutBinLaden]

I'm not sure if this solves your problem, but one thing that helped me was seeking out friends with mutual interests. Go to Meetup.com and join a group that aligns with your hobbies. If all else fails then any "18-35 in Vancouver" group or something like that will do.

[JSALES]

I would just stop asking him to hang out. If he wants to chill, let him ask you

[hchang]

If they don't respect your time why bother
Posted via RS Mobile

[sevewone]

K just to clarify, I HAVE FUCKING FRIENDS lol. This is just *ONE* of my friends who ditches. Just getting some advice.

I am probably just going to stop hanging with him. :thumbsup:

[xXSupa]

1 out of 7 times? try 1 out of 3 times for me. It's annoying and I straight up told her. If you can't follow through with your commitments then don't commit to start with. Even if you're not sure if you'll have time, I'd much rather hear a "I'm not sure" than "Yes" which turns into a "No" last second. It's gotten a lot better since.

@above: There's no need to stop hanging with him altogether. If you really enjoy your time with him (no homo), then i don't think it would hurt to keep trying for a bit longer. How long have you known this guy?

[Razor Ramon HG]

When I came into this thread, I thought he bailed on you consistently like 1 in 2 times.

1 out of 7 times? You sound kind of like a girl, man.

[sevewone]

When I came into this thread, I thought he bailed on you consistently like 1 in 2 times.

1 out of 7 times? You sound kind of like a girl, man.


I don't know if its exactly 1 out of 7 times, its approx.

I also don't know why you think "I sound like a girl", im really just not a fan of being ditched and having my weekend fucked up over. You must have some shitty friends if they ditch you and you don't care!

[Fafine]

does that one person being there make that much of a difference that you get mad
Posted via RS Mobile

[see.lai]

tbh, I think I've bailed quite a bit as well. Happens to me as well.
What come's around, goes around?

However, I don't think much of it anymore. I just don't have the time and energy to care as much anymore. Haha.

But like what everybody else just said, find new friends. I think of it as having time off from your current friends in general. It does freshen up the friendships and becomes more fun nohomo..

[Razor Ramon HG]

I don't know if its exactly 1 out of 7 times, its approx.

I also don't know why you think "I sound like a girl", im really just not a fan of being ditched and having my weekend fucked up over. You must have some shitty friends if they ditch you and you don't care!

The reason you sound like a girl is because it's like once in every seven times. Since he doesn't sound like a close friend, if you meet this guy like twice every week, that's only like once a month. Is it that really big of a deal?

When my buddies ditch me, they generally have a good reason, and I do my best to understand that in life, shit happens. I'm not that bothered by it because my world does not revolve around one person.

"Something came up? Ok, no problem, take care and I'll talk to you later."

If you feel that he's disrespecting you, it's only because you're allowing yourself to be. The choice is yours to make whether or not you want to stay friends with him, but I would recommend that you re-evaluate what you consider to be a friendship if you are so bothered by the fact that he seems to be flakey.

[vafanculo]

1 in 7 is nothing. Especially if you like him as a friend. Its annoying yes, but in a relationship (platonic too), you need to take the bad as well as the good.
Posted via RS Mobile

[sevewone]

The reason you sound like a girl is because it's like once in every seven times. Since he doesn't sound like a close friend, if you meet this guy like twice every week, that's only like once a month. Is it that really big of a deal?

When my buddies ditch me, they generally have a good reason, and I do my best to understand that in life, shit happens. I'm not that bothered by it because my world does not revolve around one person.

"Something came up? Ok, no problem, take care and I'll talk to you later."

If you feel that he's disrespecting you, it's only because you're allowing yourself to be. The choice is yours to make whether or not you want to stay friends with him, but I would recommend that you re-evaluate what you consider to be a friendship if you are so bothered by the fact that he seems to be flakey.

Yeah not sure where you got your dates / times from .. But anyways I'm not going to focus on the actual mathematical amount of time I hang out with the guy .

Sum it up, it seems like it's happening to often . I'm over it , I'm just going to start hanging out with him maybe once a month from now on
Posted via RS Mobile

[bcrdukes]

I feel like i am just a part time friend.

You answered your own question and knew the solution all along.

/thread

[dared3vil0]

The most frustrating? When you text someone the night before you plan on doing something, and they respond with "oh yeah sorry gonna have to bail- (Insert excuse here) Like seriously? Wouldn't YOU text ME and tell me that...? Or when they say "yeah i gotta check when i'm working/etc and i'll get back to you, and they don't bother. Like :seriously:?

[Razor Ramon HG]

If people want to genuinely hang out with you, they'll put effort in to make time for you (note that I used the word make). If they forget once, it's alright, but more than once, then I would be careful.

Those that make up excuses all the time are simply prioritizing other things over you, and that type of friendship is unhealthy.

[Nicotine]

I'm not sure if this solves your problem, but one thing that helped me was seeking out friends with mutual interests. Go to Meetup.com and join a group that aligns with your hobbies. If all else fails then any "18-35 in Vancouver" group or something like that will do.

isnt that why we joined revscene?

[Iceman-19]

Sounds like OP is phaggot.

[mr_chin]

I gave up on caring after a while. I realize that you just have to accept reality that these people do exist. These people just tend to do this by nature, they accept an invitation and gives you a "yes" and then later realize that (for whatever reason) they need to back out.

I have like one or two really close friends and our hang outs are never planned ahead of time. We just text each other whenever we feel like going for a beer or whatever, if he says, let's go later... I'm expecting a no and a never text back, vice versa, and we both understands. If he says, let's do something tomorrow... I don't have the expectation that we're going to do something tomorrow. It's usually a "i'll check back with him tomorrow to see if he still wants to go".

If we planned a place to chill and i get there and he doesn't show up without notice, that's what i call a "ditch". If he texts and gives a good reason, I'll probably text back with "you fucker... ok next time then". Next time, i'll make sure I don't show up first.. and text him to see if he's there first. Call it no trust or whatever... but we're straightforward and honest about it.

If you place people who forgets that they are suppose to go somewhere with you as good friends, take my advice... they're not worth hanging out with. And I can say that most of these people forget what happened during your hang outs, since they're so forgetful anyways. So those moments where you think you guys clicked, it's probably how they are, trying super hard to cope with you yet they don't even know it (hence why they make promises all the time... to cope with you). I don't know if I'm making sense, since it's kinda deep thinking.

[sevewone]

I gave up on caring after a while. I realize that you just have to accept reality that these people do exist. These people just tend to do this by nature, they accept an invitation and gives you a "yes" and then later realize that (for whatever reason) they need to back out.

I have like one or two really close friends and our hang outs are never planned ahead of time. We just text each other whenever we feel like going for a beer or whatever, if he says, let's go later... I'm expecting a no and a never text back, vice versa, and we both understands. If he says, let's do something tomorrow... I don't have the expectation that we're going to do something tomorrow. It's usually a "i'll check back with him tomorrow to see if he still wants to go".

If we planned a place to chill and i get there and he doesn't show up without notice, that's what i call a "ditch". If he texts and gives a good reason, I'll probably text back with "you fucker... ok next time then". Next time, i'll make sure I don't show up first.. and text him to see if he's there first. Call it no trust or whatever... but we're straightforward and honest about it.

If you place people who forgets that they are suppose to go somewhere with you as good friends, take my advice... they're not worth hanging out with. And I can say that most of these people forget what happened during your hang outs, since they're so forgetful anyways. So those moments where you think you guys clicked, it's probably how they are, trying super hard to cope with you yet they don't even know it (hence why they make promises all the time... to cope with you). I don't know if I'm making sense, since it's kinda deep thinking.


Yeah no I hear ya. I got a bunch of close buds and that's how we work as well.

The thing that really chaps me is the txts I always tend to get about 4 hours from a event that usually go something like "yo you still wanna go" ..Then followed by "you know what man, I think im gunna pass tonight" txt 1 hour before we are suppose to meet.

[sevewone]

Sounds like OP is phaggot.


Shouldn't you be on some UFC forums or something there Mr Chuck Liddell:nyan:

[Iceman-19]

Shouldnt you be crying over friends ditching you?

[sevewone]

Shouldnt you be crying over friends ditching you?

Good....One? Better luck next time :facepalm:

[Iceman-19]

Its right up there with your fantastic insult.

[SpeedStars]

WHY U NO REPLY!!?? - YouTube
...and yeah....we all have these types of friends but I would say it's primarily that they don't commit to anything much/these are the people who don't bother to put effort into anything. There isn't a way to deal with them other than calling them out on it.
Posted via RS Mobile

[stewie]

ive bailed on my close circle of friends quite a few times. usually my friends like to get dressed up n what not, make reservations at nice places and eat out in style almost every 2nd week. I rarely give a definite answer saying "yeah ill go", usually its a "I should be able to, call me before hand though!". ill try to go as often as I can, but a lot of the times I see my bank account just drop from doing all the activities with them, so my bail outs are usually my way of stopping myself from overspending since im saving for my own place.


what REALLY pisses me off was last weekend, gf's friends all jumped at me saying "lets have a bon fire up at stave lake!!!! you can bring guns and wooden pallets, we'll all chip in 50$ and have a sweeeet day/night"...so me and the gf agreed...a guy not far from my house gives me wooden pallets all the time, so those are free, however, insuring my truck for the day + 1/2 tank of gas to fill it up is aprox 130-150$, buying some hotdogs beers chips etc, maybe 50$, buying some ammunition...maybe 100$..

night before, everyone was stoked to go, morning of, still stoked to go, after I get all the shit and everything "oh, were gonna go to cultus lake waterslides instead" .... are you fucking kidding me....I spend 300$ to have a decent night while expecting to get paid back and these bitches bail with less than a few hours notice.

ill no longer be talking to them, they're the gfs friends, and they'll stay as her friends, not mine.

but, to make things easier, me and my friends don't text 1 on 1 unless we've got something private to say, other than that, we use group chat with 6-8 guys so everyone is aware, and we can all get everyones input at once. makes it a lot easier to set up plans for bbq's and nights out.

[trancehead]

OP relax, its the internet. people will give you a hard time regardless of what you say (esp on RS)
if there was ever a time to grow thicker skin, now is the time

anyways, you should have a sense within your friends who is reliable and who is butt fuck not. if it becomes a habit, call them out on it. none of this passive aggressive shit or even just bottling it in (that is , if you want to continue hanging out with them). if not, just ditch them

also, say if today is a tuesday and you ask to hangout with them on a saturday. if they were to say, "im not sure, i will tell you later" then give them a hard deadline, then say wednesday night at 4:00pm.

- if you just say "okay" instead, at the very worst the person will not feel obligated to respond to you in a timely manner...say until friday evening. and of course, you dont want to keep pestering them for a reply after the initial conversation.

[trancehead]

ive bailed on my close circle of friends quite a few times. usually my friends like to get dressed up n what not, make reservations at nice places and eat out in style almost every 2nd week. I rarely give a definite answer saying "yeah ill go", usually its a "I should be able to, call me before hand though!". ill try to go as often as I can, but a lot of the times I see my bank account just drop from doing all the activities with them, so my bail outs are usually my way of stopping myself from overspending since im saving for my own place.


what REALLY pisses me off was last weekend, gf's friends all jumped at me saying "lets have a bon fire up at stave lake!!!! you can bring guns and wooden pallets, we'll all chip in 50$ and have a sweeeet day/night"...so me and the gf agreed...a guy not far from my house gives me wooden pallets all the time, so those are free, however, insuring my truck for the day + 1/2 tank of gas to fill it up is aprox 130-150$, buying some hotdogs beers chips etc, maybe 50$, buying some ammunition...maybe 100$..

night before, everyone was stoked to go, morning of, still stoked to go, after I get all the shit and everything "oh, were gonna go to cultus lake waterslides instead" .... are you fucking kidding me....I spend 300$ to have a decent night while expecting to get paid back and these bitches bail with less than a few hours notice.

ill no longer be talking to them, they're the gfs friends, and they'll stay as her friends, not mine.

but, to make things easier, me and my friends don't text 1 on 1 unless we've got something private to say, other than that, we use group chat with 6-8 guys so everyone is aware, and we can all get everyones input at once. makes it a lot easier to set up plans for bbq's and nights out.

yeah good on you stewie. thats gutless of them to just bail on you like that given all youve bought in

did your gf tell them what a horseshit move that was?

[stewie]

yeah good on you stewie. thats gutless of them to just bail on you like that given all youve bought in

did your gf tell them what a horseshit move that was?

I personally told them on facebook chat.

since it would have been me, my gf, and 3 of her gf's, we'd all fit in my truck.

but instead there was a group of cute boys they knew going to cultus and they figured it would be a good chance to show themselves off in bikinis to them...real mature for girls in their mid 20's

[meme405]

people bail all the time i have friends that bail on plans every other time we go out. their the outsiders of our group of friends, the people that always go are the ones who make the plans, and have first say on where and when we go.

1 in 7 times is hardly a reason to make a thread on RS.

[Nicotine]

people bail all the time i have friends that bail on plans every other time we go out. their the outsiders of our group of friends, the people that always go are the ones who make the plans, and have first say on where and when we go.

1 in 7 times is hardly a reason to make a thread on RS.

there have been plenty of stupider threads on RS.

[TOS'd]

Time to find new friends? Ask tos'd to chill , he will suk your toes.

lolyumaddoe

[sevewone]

Yeah after reading all this I think it mainly has to do with people not having the ability to commit to anything. Maybe its something passed down from their parents, who knows.

I don't think it's completely the ditching that pisses me off also, I think its the b.s excuse some people give like as if we are really going to fall for it. Its like when you call in sick for work but your hung over, everyone knows your just making it up.

[Spoon]

Say your goodbyes and have a farewell party for this friend.

But he'll likely bail on that too :lawl:

[GLOW]

as i get older i find my time more valuable, and my life needing to be drama free...

people wasting my time?

http://24.media.tumblr.com/9a38d3e2ad6140232d68005eaa93409f/tumblr_mogvvzSLDZ1s8bub6o1_500.gif

[bloodmack]

I started bailing on an old buddy of mine all the time simply because I started noticing he only wanted to hang out when he needed wheels to get to a party or somethin.

[Sentinel]

I got some friends who are like that. Says they will go somewhere but some how makes up a bullshit excuse of not going or simply doesn't reply(return calls or texts) after, especially when they confirm they are going to go.

Quite disrespectful of them. They say they are going they go/do something, yet end up backing out.

[ae101]

lol who needs friends when u can just go on RS everyone, no ones gonna bail u on here :troll: