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Family of autistic boy asked to leave Ontario community - or have him euthanized
Acura604
08-19-2013, 09:36 PM
Wow..WTF... whoever wrote the letter better realize that once they are found out...they will be chased out of that community very quickly...but who can chime in on autism and the different effects it has on kids?
NEWCASTLE, Ont. - An Ontario community is rallying around the family of a 13-year-old autistic boy after his grandmother received an anonymous letter telling them to either leave the neighbourhood or have the boy euthanized.
Brenda Millson, of Newscastle, Ont., said she was shocked when she read the letter, which arrived in her mailbox on Friday.
The author of the typed one-page letter claimed to be a mother who lived in the neighbourhood and was upset at the noises Millson's grandson Max made when he was outside.
The letter went on to say the boy's "noise polluting whaling," scared the author's "normal children."
It also included statements such as "he is a hindrance to everyone and will always be that way" and "do the right thing and move or euthanize him."
Millson said she immediately reported the letter to police.
She said Max lives with his parents and older brother in Oshawa, Ont., but he had been visiting her home in Newcastle.
She said the author of the letter may have assumed she is Max's mother.
"At first I couldn't believe what I was reading," she said, adding that she was shaking in disbelief.
"It's just so sick."
Durham regional police said they have been investigating since Friday and that they are taking the letter seriously.
Max's mother, Karla Begley, 44, who is in a wheelchair with multiple sclerosis, said police told her they had never seen a letter "that despicable."
The only hostility the family had sensed in the Newcastle neighbourhood was four years ago, she said.
At the time, Max loved to throw a ball in the backyard and as he often threw it over fences, Millard had written her name and address on it, Begley said.
One day it arrived in the yard tattered, she said. "They took the time to shred the ball with scissors and throw it back over."
Begley added the family did not know what yard the ball was thrown into.
Millson said Max is a wonderful, sweet and lovable boy with a 16-year-old brother who was "infuriated" and "disgusted" by the letter.
Millson said the letter is "pretty gutless."
On Sunday night, at least 120 people waited outside the home for more than an hour in order show their support, Begley said. Families with autistic children drove in from Oshawa to show their support.
"Max was high-fiving everyone. He didn't understand but knew it was for him," Millson said.
Begley said support for the family following the letter has been "bittersweet," adding it's too bad it took such a letter to bring attention to a special needs child.
"It's just a reminder, you know, you've got to treat these kids like they need to be treated," Begley said. "They just want to belong."
http://www.theprovince.com/news/cms/binary/8808425.jpg
flagella
08-19-2013, 10:02 PM
The person who wrote the letter sickens me. On the other hand, I'm not sure if the parent of the autistic kid really lets her kid outside making noises everyday that can constantly be heard by neighbourhood.
Accepting and loving an autistic kid is one thing, but tolerating everything he/she does is another.
quasi
08-19-2013, 10:02 PM
Someone ignorant enough to write this letter will be dumb enough to brag to others about it. I have no doubt this idiot will be found out and when they are Karma will be a bitch.
Energy
08-19-2013, 10:09 PM
Wow that makes my insides boil. So much hate.
StylinRed
08-19-2013, 10:22 PM
writes the letter with her computer, ignores the spell checker
it would be awesome if they found out who wrote it and the community ostracizes her but i wouldn't be surprised if there was more than one person who felt the same way lots of p.o.s. out there
pure.life
08-19-2013, 10:29 PM
where is the compassion? the writer of the letter is sickening. big POS
JaPoola
08-19-2013, 10:34 PM
Why would they call police for this? There are no threats in the letter.
T4RAWR
08-19-2013, 10:55 PM
what an asshole.
probably gonna get failed for this but legitimately curious. anyone else feel like an asian person wrote it?
the grammer mistakes in the letter are pretty common for ESL students/people (e.g. use of articles a/an/the).
just sayin...
:pokerface:
Community rallies around autistic boy and his family after letter suggested he be euthanized - The Globe and Mail (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/toronto/letter-suggesting-13-year-old-autistic-boy-be-euthanized-reported-to-police/article13856413/)
what an asshole.
probably gonna get failed for this but legitimately curious. anyone else feel like an asian person wrote it?
the grammer mistakes in the letter are pretty common for ESL students/people (e.g. use of articles a/an/the).
just sayin...
:pokerface:
Definitely not Asian. Asians typically get their singular/plural and tenses mixed up. This is obviously not ESL, but EFL (English as a First Language, but still can't get it right).
StylinRed
08-19-2013, 11:07 PM
pretty sure it was a bitch that wrote it and doubt it was an asian, asians like to mind their own business unless there's a kerfuffle where they can gather around and watch
Lomac
08-19-2013, 11:08 PM
Only in Ameri...oh wait.
I wonder if this letter was written by someone who was completely serious or if it was a prank pulled off by a dare of some kind. Not that it really matters, either way.
Some people. :facepalm:
what an asshole.
probably gonna get failed for this but legitimately curious. anyone else feel like an asian person wrote it?
the grammer mistakes in the letter are pretty common for ESL students/people (e.g. use of articles a/an/the).
just sayin...
:pokerface:
Nah, just a well written hillbilly.
Gridlock
08-19-2013, 11:26 PM
Honesty time.
We had this kid move into the neighborhood that barked. We heard him come up the street every morning, and down the street every afternoon. And it was loud. Now, it was the day that I looked down and he's whacking the trees and bushes in the yard with a stick that put me over the edge.
So I went and had a chat, or "chat" with his handler. She barely spoke english, and would just stand there and watch him.
Now...prick move? Maybe. It's not "my" street, but its disrupting a lot of people. It was NEVER the kids fault, but that of the handler(and parents that hired her).
Point is, the letter is a PRICK move. But I also get where people just lose their shit.
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skiiipi
08-19-2013, 11:32 PM
Honesty time.
We had this kid move into the neighborhood that barked. We heard him come up the street every morning, and down the street every afternoon. And it was loud. Now, it was the day that I looked down and he's whacking the trees and bushes in the yard with a stick.
So I went and had a chat, or "chat" with his handler. She barely spoke english, and would just stand there and watch him.
Now...prick move? Maybe. It's not "my" street, but its disrupting a lot of people. It was NEVER the kids fault, but that of the handler(and parents that hired her).
Point is, the letter is a PRICK move. But I also get where people just lose their shit.
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But you suggested for the handler to perhaps intervene when necessary and deal with the child in a more appropriate manner, you didn't tell the handler do euthanize the kid......
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Redlines_Daily
08-19-2013, 11:50 PM
I have done a lot of work/volunteering with children and adults with autism, I also have a foster child with autism.
First, individuals with developmental disabilities don't have 'handlers', they have support staff, family members, friends and volunteers who work passionately to help improve the quality of life for them.
The letter itself is brutal, but I suspect the author has his/her own mental health issues..so it doesn't really make me angry..more I feel sorry for the writer that he or she has these internal issues going on that manifested as hate towards the poor boy and his grandmother.
Traum
08-20-2013, 12:03 AM
Wouldn't this fall under some sort of hate crime laws?
People who have never spent time with people with autism have no idea what autism is, and the challenges the support network faces.
Gridlock
08-20-2013, 12:06 AM
Totally NOT in any way justifying the letter or its contents.
This woman was a handler. She did nothing but stand there and wait for hhim to finish and then move on.
I asked her to vary the route that they took to and fro. She did. Maybe the kid didn't move into the neighborhood, but kicked off of other streets. Like, I cannot emphasize enough how loud a kid barking all day can be.
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westopher
08-20-2013, 12:07 AM
Malicious people should be "euthanized" (beat to death with a baseball bat), not those with disabilities that are an inconvenience for others.
westopher
08-20-2013, 12:10 AM
Wouldn't this fall under some sort of hate crime laws?
People who have never spent time with people with autism have no idea what autism is, and the challenges the support network faces.
The thing is, from my experience with it (friends siblings or children with it) it seems no one really has any idea what autism is. It seems like so many of the various degrees and types have no explanation or understanding about what causes it, how bad it is or isn't, or how to help those with it.
The thing is, from my experience with it (friends siblings or children with it) it seems no one really has any idea what autism is. It seems like so many of the various degrees and types have no explanation or understanding about what causes it, how bad it is or isn't, or how to help those with it.
Just to add, Autism is a spectrum disability where you can range from very high functioning to being completely dependent on others.
People who are interested should also look up Asperger's syndrome which is very similar to that of highly functioning Autism.
Hondaracer
08-20-2013, 09:13 AM
Heard it was an inside job by autism Canada to raise awareness
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snails
08-20-2013, 09:17 AM
probably a Zionist...
all srs though thats pretty fcked up!
if the contents of the letter stayed within the margins of politly asking that his volume/consistency be managed it would be understandable..
sure no one wants to put up with that if they dont have to.. but the rest of the letter is just disgusting!
Gridlock
08-20-2013, 09:19 AM
Wouldn't this fall under some sort of hate crime laws?
Most certainly not.
Anjew
08-20-2013, 09:55 AM
Wouldn't this fall under some sort of hate crime laws?
sometimes anger drives people to do or say things beyond their norms.
i'm sure many can recall some hurtful words said out of anger. not defending that letter by any means but its far from what i'd classify as a crime.
predom
08-20-2013, 10:21 AM
Meh. Freedom of speech. No actual crime here.
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BBMme
08-20-2013, 10:58 AM
Just saw it this morning, quite sad
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quasi
08-20-2013, 11:39 AM
Meh. Freedom of speech. No actual crime here.
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I'm no legal expert but just searching hate crime Canada I get this.
Sections 318, 319, and 320 of the Code forbid hate propaganda.[4] "Hate propaganda" means "any writing, sign or visible representation that advocates or promotes genocide or the communication of which by any person would constitute an offence under section 319."
It might fall under that? I think the problem with that legislation is it's more to deal with race, ethnic origin and sex I'm not sure how it would apply to someone who's mentally ill.
Iceman-19
08-20-2013, 11:48 AM
I feel worse for the kids of the mother that wrote that letter. Can you imagine having to grow up with a mother like that? This is how serial killers happen.
Hondaracer
08-20-2013, 12:15 PM
If the person who wrote it was ever ousted whatever happens in public would be far worse than any sort of hate crime charge they would be handed
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Gridlock
08-20-2013, 12:31 PM
I'm no legal expert but just searching hate crime Canada I get this.
Sections 318, 319, and 320 of the Code forbid hate propaganda.[4] "Hate propaganda" means "any writing, sign or visible representation that advocates or promotes genocide or the communication of which by any person would constitute an offence under section 319."
It might fall under that? I think the problem with that legislation is it's more to deal with race, ethnic origin and sex I'm not sure how it would apply to someone who's mentally ill.
The goals of the laws are to protect against the mass communication of hate speech.
Mass.
As in trying to incite hate of others and having to listen to your group of people being hated.
I don't want to live in the country where this letter gets the author into trouble with hate speech. A government tribunal sits and determines how bad your opinion really is? No thanks.
Traum
08-20-2013, 01:08 PM
I don't want to live in the country where this letter gets the author into trouble with hate speech. A government tribunal sits and determines how bad your opinion really is? No thanks.
What do you suppose should happen to the author of the letter, Grid? Should the police investigate? And if they find out who it is, how should the community react to it?
The community rallying behind the grandmother with the autistic kid is probably enough to send the message out that this kind of behaviour is not welcomed, and the perpetrator would probably be smart enough to shut up. But a part of me would really like to see the perpetrator being identified.
2 n r
08-20-2013, 01:15 PM
Press release states not a hate crime
Anyway, this person lives in close proximity to the victims family so I think sooner or later their community should be able to figure out who wrote it and hopefully run that bitch out of town
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stewie
08-20-2013, 01:17 PM
gather up some of the autistic kids friends and have them play outside every day from 7am - 11pm. push the lady over the edge to the point where she just comes bursting out the door screaming and have everyone find out who she is.
the kid isn't perfect, what can you do. put a muzzle on him and a straight jacket and push him around on a wheelchair outside for exercise?? the person is autistic, you should be thankful that your not and you don't have to have a family who knows how hard it is to deal with the person. its easy to say you'd tell the person to get control of their kid, but if you were the one in control of the kid and someone told you, im pretty sure you'd rip around digging into the person explaining the difficulties.
in gridlocks example where he asked the lady to take a different route, honestly, id hope people just stand there and would laugh at your request. if someone had the audacity to ask me even in the most politest way to please take a different route with my kid because he was autistic/special needs and loud, id just shrug it off and continue with the same route everyday. in those cases, sadly I hope that they or someone they know will have to experience what its like, just so they can get a different perspective on things.
2 houses over from me is a girl, shes 18 years old, and autistic. ive seen her since she was born. is she annoying at times? of course. is she loud? a bit. but I would never expect or want someone to ask them to move or to take her elsewhere to play instead of her own back yard. if they were to ask, id just stand there and turn my back on them and go back to playing with the kid.
Gridlock
08-20-2013, 01:39 PM
Here's my deal...if I need to be respectful of your thing, you can equally be respectful of mine. We can meet halfway. Wanna have a loud party on Friday night? Shut the fuck up Saturday. Wanna have a kid bark every day? Fine. Keep him off my lawn(s).
Gridlock
08-20-2013, 01:42 PM
What do you suppose should happen to the author of the letter, Grid? Should the police investigate? And if they find out who it is, how should the community react to it?
The community rallying behind the grandmother with the autistic kid is probably enough to send the message out that this kind of behaviour is not welcomed, and the perpetrator would probably be smart enough to shut up. But a part of me would really like to see the perpetrator being identified.
Super easy...is there a threat either real or implied in the letter?
Then investigate that threat. Otherwise? However inappropriate, its up to the receiver to deal with their correspondence as they see fit.
If we jump to a hate crime everytime some douchecanoe mouths off, then we suddenly live in a very different country.
stewie
08-20-2013, 01:59 PM
Here's my deal...if I need to be respectful of your thing, you can equally be respectful of mine. We can meet halfway. Wanna have a loud party on Friday night? Shut the fuck up Saturday. Wanna have a kid bark every day? Fine. Keep him off my lawn(s).
what if the lawn is on a condo? so its a shared lawn? would they have just as much right to be there as any other paying tenant?
(im assuming you or dino would know since she does the building management thing so im guessing you guys would know strata rules)
Gridlock
08-20-2013, 02:06 PM
what if the lawn is on a condo? so its a shared lawn? would they have just as much right to be there as any other paying tenant?
(im assuming you or dino would know since she does the building management thing so im guessing you guys would know strata rules)
Total tangent on this issue...but no.
Just because we rent out apartments doesn't make the front lawn a park. I put in my own time on the lawn and gardens for my own personal benefit( I enjoy gardening) and for the benefit of the people that rent our apartments.
Some kid whacking at shit with a stick is just a piss off, pure and simple. :)
Now, back on target..I can yell and swear from my roof top throne every day when I see them like a raving loony(I'd fit it actually) OR we can come to a mutually acceptable compromise.
She seemed to think that my compromise was acceptable.
meowjinboo
08-20-2013, 05:20 PM
Just to add, Autism is a spectrum disability where you can range from very high functioning to being completely dependent on others.
People who are interested should also look up Asperger's syndrome which is very similar to that of highly functioning Autism.
Aspergers has been removed from the DSM-V
I also like to call it neckbeard syndrome.
SkinnyPupp
08-20-2013, 05:57 PM
I saw that letter on reddit and was 100% sure it was made up just to get up votes. Wow, that is truly a disgusting person.
That being said, if you have a kid who is disturbing the peace, efforts need to be taken to prevent that. If the kid walks around screaming out in public, ignoring him while he boers others is wrong. If he needs to bbe secluded or put somewhere that he doesn't ruins others' lives, that's totally fair.
BoostedBB6
08-20-2013, 06:23 PM
I could understand noise pollution frustrations. I can understand feeling very overwhelmed, but why not go and talk to them. The grandmother is not autistic, perhaps just asking her if she could not put the child outside for long periods of time due to the noise.
Perhaps offer other alternatives such as go for a walk, got to the park, or being a caring human being and try talking to the child. There autistic but they are still human. Compassion and love, every living thing needs this, so take that frustration and put it towards something useful. Help out rather than lash out.
The letter is nasty but it isn't criminal.
My neighbor's kid is autistic and is fully dependent on others for his care. He makes loud noises when he's outside. Yes, it is quite distracting but thankfully the family takes him out for walks around the block with their dog so the noise is only momentary.
Hondaracer
08-20-2013, 07:59 PM
what makes it worse is the mother has torrets or somthing as well which is why he's with the grandparents most of the time because the mother is in a wheel chair :/
shitty situation all around but in alot of ways it kinda makes my head spin that stories like this can get so big
Inaii
08-20-2013, 09:37 PM
what makes it worse is the mother has torrets or somthing as well which is why he's with the grandparents most of the time because the mother is in a wheel chair :/
shitty situation all around but in alot of ways it kinda makes my head spin that stories like this can get so big
the mom has Multiple Sclerosis
Aspergers has been removed from the DSM-V
I also like to call it neckbeard syndrome.
It wasn't removed from the DSM-V. It was incorporated into the Autism spectrum. I had mentioned how it was highly similar so it is not all that surprising.
Traum
08-20-2013, 10:52 PM
Super easy...is there a threat either real or implied in the letter?
Then investigate that threat. Otherwise? However inappropriate, its up to the receiver to deal with their correspondence as they see fit.
If we jump to a hate crime everytime some douchecanoe mouths off, then we suddenly live in a very different country.
Is there a real or implied threat in the letter? I guess it depends on how the grandmother (or parents) read it. Personally, if I were a family member of the autistic kid, I would feel scared for the safety and well being of my autistic family member, because I obviously know there is this person out there in my community that has an overt bias against him. More importantly, because this person suggested euthanasia for my autistic family member, I think I have every valid reason to fear that this insane person might just try precisely what he is suggesting to my family member. For me at least, the euthanasia suggestion has clearly crossed the line.
The police would probably be able to lay any actual charges on the person, but if I were a member of the community, I think I would want to know, and I think I'd have a right to know, who this crazy person is.
noclue
08-20-2013, 10:57 PM
I'm curious what exactly kind of sounds do autistic children make that horrifies people? Is it a scream?
godwin
08-20-2013, 11:31 PM
Do we have to assign a pathology to everything that is bad in this world? That's the reason why we are so medicated!
I have done a lot of work/volunteering with children and adults with autism, I also have a foster child with autism.
First, individuals with developmental disabilities don't have 'handlers', they have support staff, family members, friends and volunteers who work passionately to help improve the quality of life for them.
The letter itself is brutal, but I suspect the author has his/her own mental health issues..so it doesn't really make me angry..more I feel sorry for the writer that he or she has these internal issues going on that manifested as hate towards the poor boy and his grandmother.
Gridlock
08-21-2013, 08:09 AM
I'm curious what exactly kind of sounds do autistic children make that horrifies people? Is it a scream?
In my case, the kid barked. As in,
"ahhh, argh, argh," as loud as he could as he walked up and down the road. Constant, non-stop, and he would stop and do it at people, and try to scare them with it if he saw them in a parkade.
No it was cool. Should just appreciate all god's creatures.
Gridlock
08-21-2013, 08:11 AM
Is there a real or implied threat in the letter? I guess it depends on how the grandmother (or parents) read it. Personally, if I were a family member of the autistic kid, I would feel scared for the safety and well being of my autistic family member, because I obviously know there is this person out there in my community that has an overt bias against him. More importantly, because this person suggested euthanasia for my autistic family member, I think I have every valid reason to fear that this insane person might just try precisely what he is suggesting to my family member. For me at least, the euthanasia suggestion has clearly crossed the line.
The police would probably be able to lay any actual charges on the person, but if I were a member of the community, I think I would want to know, and I think I'd have a right to know, who this crazy person is.
Oh shit buddy. There are threats all over.
A threat would be "I want to euthanize the kid" or "I'm going to euthanize the kid"
My Canada pet peeve is we expect so much protection from government and authority but forget it comes at a cost.
"Omg its hate mail..do something!"
Traum
08-21-2013, 08:30 AM
A threat would be "I want to euthanize the kid" or "I'm going to euthanize the kid"
Buddy, what you mentioned above would be a direct open threat that would 1000% get police investigation going, and probably charges laid if the person is found. The way euthanasia is mentioned in the letter would be an implied threat.
Gridlock
08-21-2013, 08:40 AM
Buddy, what you mentioned above would be a direct open threat that would 1000% get police investigation going, and probably charges laid if the person is found. The way euthanasia is mentioned in the letter would be an implied threat.
Hi! Welcome to the point of my post.
Usually TL;DR's are shorter.
mk1freak
08-21-2013, 11:51 AM
:fulloffuck: so apparently the letter didn't meet the "legal" requirements to be a hate crime...
"The Crown Attorney's Office in Ontario says a letter asking the family of a boy with autism to move or euthanize him falls below the threshold for a hate crime, despite the hateful language, Durham Regional Police Service said in a release Tuesday.
However, police will consider whether the letter violates other sections of the Criminal Code."
msn link here (http://t.news.ca.msn.com/top-stories/letter-asking-to-euthanize-boy-with-autism-not-hate-crime)
GG
murd0c
08-21-2013, 12:27 PM
This is the mothers response to the hate letter. Great response being the better person by taking the higher road even tho I'm sure it was very hard.
This is the response letter to the Person who wrote that dreadful letter to the family of the Autistic Child by the child's mother...
Dear “One pissed off mother”,
Your letter has left me feeling terribly sad. Not for me, or for my son Maxwell -- that’s his name by the way, not “retard” or “wild animal kid” -- but for you. In reality, I will never share your thoughts with my son, because he is a happy child who brings an incredible amount of joy to those who know him. And while your words were very hurtful to read, the support I receive from my family, friends, and my more understanding neighbours lifts me up on a daily basis and outweighs anything you could ever say to me.
The fact that you have chosen to address me anonymously gives me some insight that somewhere deep down, you know that what you wrote to me is wrong, and that gives me hope. Because those who know that they've done wrong sometimes want to do better, I want to help you know my son. Perhaps then you will open your heart to the beautiful person he is. If not, I will at least know that you have been provided with the opportunity to become educated, and that maybe something good will come out of your negativity and misguided hatred.
Maxwell has a diagnosis of autism. He is not “mentally handicapped” or “retarded”. Autism is a disorder of brain development characterized by difficulties in social interaction, verbal and nonverbal communication, and repetitive behaviours. The noises he makes that you describe as “dreadful” are in fact the way he expresses happiness. He loves being outside, and shares the right to enjoy the outdoors just as you or I do. Perhaps you find his form of expression unpleasant, but if you took the time to meet Maxwell and got to know him, I would like to think he could bring a smile to your face.
Maxwell loves jumping on his trampoline, playing on his iPad, hanging out with his family, and reading books. Most of the time he has a smile on his face, and he has never said a cruel word to anybody. You could actually learn a lot from him.
Because of the lack of empathy in your letter, it seems likely to me that you have not had the privilege of having a close friend or family member with special needs. This is a great shame for you and your “normal" children. You do yourself and them a disservice by limiting who you interact with. There is no reason to be scared. In fact, people with special needs have much more reason to fear intolerant individuals such as yourself. My son is a gentle soul who would never want to hurt anyone -- physically or with hateful words such as the ones you typed in that letter.
A great man named Mahatma Gandhi once said, "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members." While you and I clearly have very little in common, we both live in Canada -- a nation that passed The Canadian Human Rights Act in 1977, which states, "All individuals should have an opportunity equal with other individuals to make for themselves the lives that they are able and wish to have and to have their needs accommodated, consistent with their duties and obligations as members of society, without being hindered in or prevented from doing so by discriminatory practices based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, age, sex, sexual orientation, marital status, family status, disability or conviction for an offence for which a pardon has been granted or in respect of which a record suspension has been ordered."
If you need me to put that in simpler terms for you, the law states that Maxwell has just as much right to live his life without being discriminated against as you do. If you have a problem with that, it seems to me that you're the one who should move to a trailer in the woods where you hopefully won't be too annoyed by the sounds made by actual wild animals.
Yours truly,
Katrina Carefoot, one proud mother
gilly
08-21-2013, 02:03 PM
the ending to that letter is the best part!
noclue
08-21-2013, 02:32 PM
This is a controversial comment but I've read there is the moral discussion of the consequences of medical advancements, how it saves babies who were supposed to die due to whatever conditions such as pre-mature birth, deformities, cognitive/physical problem etc. They will be dependent on their parents for the rest of their lives thus putting a huge strain on the lives of the parents and not contribute to society.
Hondaracer
08-21-2013, 03:40 PM
obviously depending on the severity it's a life changing burden.
Autism is not diagnosed until some development has taken place no? so damn, what a financial burden alone it could be to a family that is not capable of caring for their child. A guy at work [not sure how well he's informed on the situation] said that family friends have a severely autistic 21 year old son, he said they pay 5k a month in round the clock care
Redlines_Daily
08-21-2013, 07:06 PM
This is a controversial comment but I've read there is the moral discussion of the consequences of medical advancements, how it saves babies who were supposed to die due to whatever conditions such as pre-mature birth, deformities, cognitive/physical problem etc. They will be dependent on their parents for the rest of their lives thus putting a huge strain on the lives of the parents and not contribute to society.
It's a valid comment. There are markers now that help predict if an unborn child may or may not have developmental disabilities. When discovered early, the mother can actually choose to terminate the pregnancy. It would be an incredibly difficult choice..one I would think carefully about if it were me. On one side I see the joy these children can bring to peoples lives but on the other I also see how much work and resources it takes. If I had to make that choice, I honestly don't know which way I would go.
Lomac
08-21-2013, 08:35 PM
obviously depending on the severity it's a life changing burden.
Autism is not diagnosed until some development has taken place no? so damn, what a financial burden alone it could be to a family that is not capable of caring for their child. A guy at work [not sure how well he's informed on the situation] said that family friends have a severely autistic 21 year old son, he said they pay 5k a month in round the clock care
For proper nursing care, that price wouldn't surprise me one bit. That shit's not cheap.
stewie
08-21-2013, 08:41 PM
It's a valid comment. There are markers now that help predict if an unborn child may or may not have developmental disabilities. When discovered early, the mother can actually choose to terminate the pregnancy. It would be an incredibly difficult choice..one I would think carefully about if it were me. On one side I see the joy these children can bring to peoples lives but on the other I also see how much work and resources it takes. If I had to make that choice, I honestly don't know which way I would go.
never knew that.
hopefully i'll never have to go down that path. but if I did, i'd probably want to terminate the process (how soon do they detect it? 3 months? 6?). I probably wouldn't have the resources to give the kid a happy childhood while affording to pay for round the clock care..id probably end up being stressed to the point where id become an alcoholic or something. id rather just stop everything before it gets past the point of no return.
dinosaur
08-21-2013, 08:44 PM
For proper nursing care, that price wouldn't surprise me one bit. That shit's not cheap.
This is why it is so devastating when group homes, programs, and out reach services are cut. For example: the debacle that happened last year with Community Living BC.
Most families do not have the resources to facilitate proper care.
FerrariEnzo
08-21-2013, 11:15 PM
So any news if police found out who wrote it?
mikemhg
08-22-2013, 09:22 AM
Honesty time.
We had this kid move into the neighborhood that barked. We heard him come up the street every morning, and down the street every afternoon. And it was loud. Now, it was the day that I looked down and he's whacking the trees and bushes in the yard with a stick that put me over the edge.
So I went and had a chat, or "chat" with his handler. She barely spoke english, and would just stand there and watch him.
Now...prick move? Maybe. It's not "my" street, but its disrupting a lot of people. It was NEVER the kids fault, but that of the handler(and parents that hired her).
Point is, the letter is a PRICK move. But I also get where people just lose their shit.
Posted via RS Mobile
I agree 100%. I have the EXACT same story as you, I lived in a condo where an autistic kid lived downstairs from me. The kid would scream on the balcony all summer and his mother would never take him anywhere. He'd run down the halls, and shout and bang shit all day, parents would do nothing about it. No word of a lie, some afternoons on the weekend when he'd be wailing and howling away on the balcony, I would envision myself blowing him in the face with a can of mace. Fail away, I don't care. I COMPLETELY understand when people reach the breaking point, we've seen parents want to kill their own child with autism, what do you expect when it's not even your kid?
Hondaracer
08-22-2013, 09:26 AM
This is why it is so devastating when group homes, programs, and out reach services are cut. For example: the debacle that happened last year with Community Living BC.
Most families do not have the resources to facilitate proper care.
Yea the 5K figure I posted as well was WITH govt subsidies as well I believe
Posted via RS Mobile
Gridlock
08-22-2013, 09:31 AM
I worked with a girl years ago who had a brother that was severely autistic. He ended up dying while I worked with her.
Her parents had a bit of coin to them, and could do things to make life easier. They opened a bed and breakfast so the wife could have something to do, while still staying at home. Vacation decisions, life decisions...hell, Tuesday decisions were constantly affected by the fact that they couldn't just pack into the car and go.
So at his funeral, the father gave a eulogy that basically said that while he will forever be altered by the loss of his son, in a way it gives 3 lives back.
It was an honest moment that really speaks to the day to day challenge that people go through in raising a child with severe disabilities.
In the same token, I can't imagine that man would ever put his son in the backyard and tell his neighbors to suck it.
Traum
08-22-2013, 09:38 AM
I agree 100%. I have the EXACT same story as you, I lived in a condo where an autistic kid lived downstairs from me. The kid would scream on the balcony all summer and his mother would never take him anywhere. He'd run down the halls, and shout and bang shit all day, parents would do nothing about it. No word of a lie, some afternoons on the weekend when he'd be wailing and howling away on the balcony, I would envision myself blowing him in the face with a can of mace. Fail away, I don't care. I COMPLETELY understand when people reach the breaking point, we've seen parents want to kill their own child with autism, what do you expect when it's not even your kid?
Here in BC, we have some very good support for autistic children through the Ministry of Children and Family, and this is despite all the government program cuts that the Liberals have put us through. (It is usually when severely autistic children turns 18 that their families get fxxked, but that's another story and another debate for another time.)
Clearly in your case, the failure lies with the parent. Behavioural training exists for autistic children, and the majority of the time they can provide varying degrees of help. The thing to do in your case is to speak to the parent about the help that he can get for his child, instead of continuing to watch and put up with the kid running wild. I dunno what the exact details might be, but the help is there.
It isn't just for your sake. It's for the child's sake as well. Please go do something.
Redlines_Daily
08-22-2013, 10:42 AM
I worked at a school specifically for children with ASD, tuition was $2000 per month, and that is on the LOW side, I've heard of many other facilities charging 50-70k per year. Behavior consultants can do a proper diagnosis and behavior/treatment plan..they charge $100-200 per hour, diagnosis takes 30 hours of observation, behavior plan in addition to that.
Behavior interventionists can implement the plan and do intensive teaching, they come in $12-$20 per hour depending on experience. Plan can range from a few hours per week to daily sessions if the families budget allows. Consultant still stays on for a couple hours per month to monitor the program($100-200/hr).
Children with autism usually have other disabilities such as speech or gross motor problems(or both). Speech therapy and occupational therapist both come in around $100-150 per hour.
That is all just specialized care. Ontop of that, there is basic care needs and staff to provide respite care, baby sitting, monitoring, etc..
Government funding for children with autism over the age of 6 is $500 per month.
Traum
08-22-2013, 11:49 AM
Government funding for children with autism over the age of 6 is $500 per month.
In the face of all the expenses, $500/month may not be a lot. But as far as government support is concerned, I would say that $500 is already HUGE.
Additionally, if the parents can justify to the child's case manager, additional funding can also be approved. Of course, this is done on a case-by-case basis. But in my experience, the Ministry usually isn't super stingy. The parents would obviously need to make a compelling argument for additional funding, and I think the process is at least somewhat reasonable.
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