[Sosodef]

Hello RS.

I just proposed to my long time girlfriend. We are in the beginning stages of gathering information for our big day.

Has anyone planned a wedding before? I am looking for some tips and content/files if you have any.

We need a venue for at least 300. It may be more than that.
From what I gather, it seems we need a date and venue first.

If anyone has any information or any files they could send us, that would be appreciated.

Thanks!

edit: if you have any contacts or suggestions for photo booths, videography, photography, etc, I would be interested.

[Carl Johnson]

For photography: Home » Charles de Jesus Wedding Photographer (http://charlesdejesus.com/)

[Hondaracer]

Everything's a rip off, over priced because it has the word wedding attached to it

In a massive wedding like that you'll look back in 5 years and think of all the money you wasted inviting people you don't care about/haven't talked to since

No one looks at their pricey photo albums after the day they are turned over

Food is everything. I've been to some weddings where the venue probably cost 10-15k alone, but the food was shit, that's all I remember about the wedding. Paid out the ass for the venue but their catering was garbage, so thinking back the wedding was not impressive at all, if that's what you're going for.

[yray]

get eloped

/thread

its the time for the two of you, not to set up a peacock display for your family

[6o4__boi]

first off, congrats!

lots of ways you could go about it
but first, get the date nailed down...that will be huge when you're looking for a venue and when scheduling vendors (ie. photographers, videographers, photo booths, flowers etc.)
What season do you want the wedding in? Summer has obvious benefits but is significantly more expensive than Spring/Fall weddings.
Will your parents/her parents be contributing?
What is your budget?
If you can afford a wedding planner, i'd recommend one.

[Presto]

Food is everything. I've been to some weddings where the venue probably cost 10-15k alone, but the food was shit, that's all I remember about the wedding. Paid out the ass for the venue but their catering was garbage, so thinking back the wedding was not impressive at all, if that's what you're going for.

Agreed on the food. That's the one item to not cheap out on. If you're Chinese, I would highly recommend against the traditional banquet. You've seen one Chinese banquet, you've seen them all. So predictable.

If we could do it again, we'd go small. Other than my close friends, and wedding party, I don't recall who was at our wedding. I just remember that I had a decent time, but it wasn't worth all the stress planning for one day.

[GLOW]

what other requirements?

i.e. do you need a church? if so, then you want to coincide the restaurant and church on the same day and book accordingly.
it's RS so are you booking a chinese restaurant? :lol check restaurants on layout, prices, what AV system they have for you etc. they'll have different set meal price/packages per table so you can check that out and see what you like.

if you expect 300, unless you are VERY strict on keeping headcount, expect more (your parents will slide a bunch of additional invites in, bet on it). my plan originally was like 80-100 EleGiggle and went to 200 very easily, had to pull it back to 180 i think

flowers? personally other than the bouquet and whatever the groomsen wear i don't really see a need of it, or a need for fresh but what do i know.

photographer/videographer? camcorder on a tripod and a buddy video taping? :lol figure that stuff out too. wedding slideshow? that eats time digging up pics and mixing in music.

wedding cake. fondant adds $$$$ b/c it's wedding. you can get creative, cupcake, or a fake cake that looks good for pics and a slab cake for guests later etc. i did a bunch of fondant slabs on different level tiers to make it look less plain while keeping costs down.

to add to yray's comment, yes it's your day - my mentality is like that too. but i also keep in mind it's your parents' time to be proud of you. ultimately whomever flips the bill has the final say/power.

decorations, table set up, depends on you guys what you want and what you expect. all depends on budget too.

don't forget to get someone to be your MC and if you don't have a wedding planner, to have someone steer the ship for you, you and your wife to be can't be bothered that day to manage things, a close friend/relative(s) will have to do that for you.

so when's the RS bachelor party meat happenin'? :ilied: :fullofwin: :nyan: LUL

[Dragon-88]

Oh that poor bride... Shes going to get a Revscene wedding!

[meme405]

Oh that poor bride... Shes going to get a Revscene wedding!

LOL!

The cake will be like this:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/8e/e2/04/8ee20422bafaad64708921e41ccb1c62.jpg

[GLOW]

:lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ti_JR31t9v4

[Tapioca]

The bigger the wedding, the more likely it is that the two of you will need to delegate the tasks to others. Having an event planner will help, so either find someone in the family who's planned weddings before or be prepared to pay someone to do it for you.

As others have said, it's best to keep it simple and small. My wife and I had a small wedding in the off-season and everything, including our honeymoon in Hawaii, cost us less than 10K all-in. We had everything she wanted - a beautiful dress (tell your wife to hit a sample sale), a church ceremony, an excellent photographer, and an intimate and private dinner with family at a restaurant downtown. I got to pick up my wife on the big day with a new suit and shoes.

All of us who've been down the road before will give you advice, but in the end, your wife will decide what to do and you'll just whip out the credit cards and be left with a big bill. Good luck.

[Sosodef]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the replies so far.
We are having a Church ceremony. I believe it's only like $100 to rent our church, it used to be free, but now we have to charge.

My girlfriend hates the Chinese style wedding. So she doesn't want to do a Chinese restaurant.

It'll likely be a buffet style dinner.

Also, if you do have any contacts for photos/videos/photo booths, feel free to post or PM. I'm looking at all options right now. Thanks!

[Tapioca]

You'll never watch your wedding video. Photobooths are fun for your guests, but once your wedding has its #2minutesoffame on Instagram/Facebook, renting one will seem like a waste of money in hindsight. You could always create your own photobooth with a selfie stick and some props from the dollar store. Tell your wedding MC and your AV guy to promote and display your hashtag.

Photos are important, so spend the money on a good photographer. Better yet, if you have a friend who does professional photography, use them.

Another way to cut down on costs and reduce the stress around logistics is to limit the size of your wedding party. If you can, limit it to a best man and maid of honour.

Buffet style is a bit tacky IMHO. As others have said, food is important, so food quality will suffer with a buffet style dinner. You'll also have to manage the order in which tables go up to grab their food, which you will not have to think about when you have to plated dinner.

[pastarocket]

Check out the wedding packages at Mayfair Lakes golf club.

My friend just got married at that club last weekend.

If it's 300 guests, have you considered a cash bar for alcohol? Wine/booze can get really expensive it you are providing a few bottles of wine for each table.

My friend and his wife had cash bar only at Mayfair Lakes for their wedding reception.

http://www.golfbc.com/courses/mayfair_lakes/event_planning/weddings

[Presto]

Buffet style is a bit tacky IMHO. As others have said, food is important, so food quality will suffer with a buffet style dinner. You'll also have to manage the order in which tables go up to grab their food, which you will not have to think about when you have to plated dinner.

Plated dinners are meh. Most of the time I don't even remember what I chose at the time of RSVPing, and there's usually stuff on the plate I don't care for. A buffet done right can be awesome. Everyone gets what they want to eat, and can go back for seconds. I remember that our buffet had a wide-array of food, and deserts, and 3 carving stations. Everyone got their fill, and then some. This was at the Brock House.

Booze-wise, we did drink tickets, and everyone got 2. If you wanted more booze, you could buy more tickets, or get them from other guests that didn't drink.

[meme405]

Better yet, if you have a friend who does professional photography, use them.

Honestly in many cases don't even ask them, if they are close enough friends you probably would rather them enjoy your wedding, instead of it just being another day of work for them.

The other problem, I guarantee that person gets asked by "friends" to come shoot their weddings every day. If they shot these weddings at anything other than a slight discount, they are really shooting themselves in the head. There is only so many weddings a photographer can commit to in one wedding season, if they commit half their time shooting for free or a discount, they will effectively be killing their own income.

[JesseBlue]

youre not planning for the wedding. youre planning for the reception.

[Sosodef]

Check out the wedding packages at Mayfair Lakes golf club.

My friend just got married at that club last weekend.

If it's 300 guests, have you considered a cash bar for alcohol? Wine/booze can get really expensive it you are providing a few bottles of wine for each table.

My friend and his wife had cash bar only at Mayfair Lakes for their wedding reception.

Richmond Wedding Venue - Mayfair Lakes Golf - British Columbia near Vancouver (http://www.golfbc.com/courses/mayfair_lakes/event_planning/weddings)

Thanks, just checked Mayfair... But, it's not big enough. Thanks though.

[Gnomes]

Westwood Plateau can do 250... if you can cut 50 guests. They are one of the better ones for "affordable" western style buffet food.

Its a bit far so you can expect some guests wont make the extra effort to drive up. And since it's far, feel free to have open bar cuz most people dont want to get smashed knowing they need to drive home (taxi fare will be expensive to Vancouver)

[GLOW]

had 2 different friends have their wedding at westwood. i quite enjoyed both. 1 had open bar on beer only there and another had a toonie bar (all drinks for 2 dolla each) :drunk:

1 was buffet style there 1 was plated. food wise none were memorable so i can't really comment but the club house and the views from their balcony were awesome. can't see much of a view if it's cloudy though.

[Hondaracer]

having people pay for booze is so tacky imo

especially when people try to have this big grandiose ceremony and reception then you gotta pull your wallet out :fuckthatshit:

[supafamous]

Congrats!

Some thoughts:
- My wife and I spent ~$40K on our wedding (~130 ppl), had a great time, and wished we spent even more. We also spent $10K on our honeymoon and wish we spent more. Our guests talk about how awesome it was 2 years later.
- My brother and his wife spent ~$12K on their wedding (~90 ppl), had a great time, and have no regrets. They spent ~$5K on their honeymoon and loved it. Many of their guests talk about the wedding to this day.

With the above as evidence I will say YMMV and it's what you want to make of it. My wedding was upper class-ish and memorable for the special details we had. My brother's was simple and was memorable for that. IMO, the ones who land in the middle tend to end up feeling cheap-ish - like the first Genesis sedan, they are not sure what they want to be.

For the size of wedding you're going to plan, I'd suggest a few things:
- A wedding planner is a must. Don't just get a day of coordinator. Let someone else run it for you. It will save you and your bride to be tonnes of stress, likely save you a bit of money, and ensure that things go smoothly. This was a top 3 regret we had with ours (not hiring a live band was #1).
- It's very hard to find a photographer that can shoot in many styles successfully. Some are great at posed, romantic shots, others are great at capturing candid moments etc. We opted for the latter and I was happy with the results, my wife was not so we ended up doing a reshoot with another photographer. Think about the style you want as much whether you get along with them.
- Small guest lists are better. Holding your ground here will piss off a lot of people (eg. the parents) so be prepared to trade other favours for this. The larger the guest list, the more impersonal your wedding will become for you. I had a friend who negotiated to have two separate banquets - one that was just for the bride's parents friends (several hundred people) so that the main wedding was more personal.
- If you want to pay for booze use drink tickets but be pretty generous with them. The heavy drinkers should pay their own way but anyone who wants to have 3-4 drinks will appreciate you making it "free" to them. Hand a stack of drink tickets to each of your groomsmen and tell them to keep people lubricated.

Good luck with your wedding!

P.S. Pick your groomsmen not just because they are great friends but because they will take care of shit at the wedding and will party all night.
P.P.S. Bridesmaids are there to keep the bride in one piece before the ceremony. Choose extremely wisely.

[320icar]

Lol, ppl here are way too rich.

Brb. Time to go elope in Reno like my parents did

[zulutango]

If you are a male....ANYTHING you say does not count. It's all about HER!! Trust me on this. :)

[supafamous]

I'm guessing that the size of the wedding means a lot of the guests are those of your parents which suggests they are funding a good chunk of it. If not and you really have close to 300 friends then I'd suggest not taking money from your parents.

My wife and I made the choice to not accept any money from our parents for the wedding so we had less obligations to deal with. They got to invite a small number of their friends (preferably their rich and generous ones!) but had no say on what we chose to do with the wedding (we still listened to them though). Our parents respected this and stayed out of the way for nearly all of the wedding.

If you can do that it can also take away what is normally a major point of bad stress.

[nabs]

First of all congrats!....

Secondly, get the big things out of the way first...

Plan dates around the availability of the venue first, if you do it the other way it will be too difficult.

Give yourself at least a year for planning.

Write EVERYTHING down. You will forget things, and then remember at the wrong times.

It can get stressful so just keep your cool, remember you can't really rely on other people to do things perfectly the way you want them, so you will have to get involved in a lot of the things or give a lot of direction. I am a control freak so it was very hard for me to do until the last minute.

Don't worry about the little things up until 3 to 4 months before the wedding itself. The prices for photobooths and shit are really competitive in Vancouver so you don't need to worry about that.

Biggest items for me were, in order of importance (to me), Venue(s), Dates, Her Dress(es), Decorators, Photo/Video, Cards/Invites.

Small things... Cake, food menu, hotel, honeymoon, DJ, photobooth, your clothes, etc.

Be steadfast on your guest list, it can easily grow without you realizing. You need to keep a cut throat sort of method in a sense.

For me, we are clearly in the 6 figures for our wedding, mind you it lasts over 5 events. 3 of them being catered events at wedding venues. We started with 400 guests, ended up with about 500 (my parents kept extending the list). I planned everything myself, it was hard for me to trust other people to get things done the way i like.

Good Luck!!

PS. Don't cheap out on the photo/video and honeymoon, photo/video is the only tangible thing you are taking away from your wedding. And you only really have one honeymoon, make it count, and don't postpone it for a later date.

Other things I forgot: Don't get married in August, didn't know this when we set the dates, it's wedding season, every price is hiked up (almost 300%). Try March or May.

Look at South Hall in Vancouver, they do a lot of different cultures weddings. I have a few recommendations for decorations but they may be really expensive depending on your initial budget.

[RiceIntegraRS]

Pick a Venue where u can bring your own booze. Ull save a lot of money and your friends will love you. Booze is for your friends and the food is more for the older people. I've heard nothing but bad things about having drink tickets.

[v_tec]

I know you should plan your wedding, expecting to fully pay for it.

But can anyone share how much you paid in total, vs. how much you received back from guest as red/lucky envelopes? 50%? 75%?

[Adorkami]

My wedding/reception was a bit above 30k for Dr. Sun Yat Sen Ceremony and Dockside reception... Some of her uncles kept bitching that the portions werent that big compared to a chinese style dinner. Other than them I think everyone enjoyed it. You and your wife to be may want to set a budget before you get started just so you are aware what your options really are, expect to spend over your budget as there always tends to be extra fees. For a wedding your size you may want to go the hotel route. Check with venue to see if there are any plating fees for the cake, some can be a big rip off. Also the hardest part we had was our families wanting to invite people that is why we chose a smaller location like Dockside to limit the people who we hardly saw.

[Adorkami]

I know you should plan your wedding, expecting to fully pay for it.

But can anyone share how much you paid in total, vs. how much you received back from guest as red/lucky envelopes? 50%? 75%?

From white guests you are going to receive mainly gifts, from asian guests it varied a lot for mine 50 - 150 a person. We spent around 200/person so we didn't make back that much.

[ncrx]

i would say i was one of the last to get married amongst my inner circle of friends.

i've been a groomsman at a 500 person wedding , 200 person wedding, and 50 person wedding.

i will honestly say, the smaller the wedding the more fun it is. its less a show and more a party/celebration. the big weddings its speeches, chores, facetime, its a production.

my own wedding was 130 people and we put it together in 3.5 months, and we were able to keep it at under 20k, some of it was amazing pricing on the alcohol portion, and my wife is awesomely frugal and not a bridezilla by any means. we had ours at the royal van yacht club. once the wife has got the dress, and u've got the venue, the rest is easy.

ways to save

evites, u can buy fancier ones, its way easier to keep track of people and manage counts. you can send a few paper ones to the older folks who need to have paper. phone calls are also great, as people are always excited to catch up n chat

friday reception, saves a shit ton, like massively. often you have minimums etc, friday's means no minimum or smaller mins. friday's are always easier to book to. we actually had ours on a friday, literally the night before that massive wind storm a year ago.

video, we skipped it, many of my friends did fancy videos, but u know what not a single one of them has watched their own videos. i've yet to look at a single wedding photo except for the one plastered on our wall.

photography during meal time, reception, we bought several canon selphy photo printers, tons of paper and ink cartridges and asked people to use their phones and cameras and print stuff and stuff them into a scrapbook for us. we liked that a lot and our guests did too, they took stuff away with them.

wedding cake, my wife is a cupcake fan. we got cupcakes and we saved on the plating fee. and the cupcakes were great and inexpensive from wholefoods. we just got a single nice topper kind of cake for cutting.

flowers, been to lots of weddings w glamorous flower arrangements 3-4ft tall. i could not speak or see the person across the table from me. so what we did was got cheapy 1-2$ vases from ikea, sought out an inexpensive florist (kits market on yew street) who made the arrangements and we provided the vases.

alcohol, well my friends are big drinkers but being asian the open bar thing is sort of a requirement. however i was open to a loonie or toonie bar, only to keep people in check. i also purchased several more expensive bottles of scotch which i gave to my buddies to predrink on , that helped keep the bartab down haha

its your day spend what u want, but remember, what do u really remember about your buddies weddings other than, i was so drunk or the funny speech. the rest is just over their heads gone in a distant memory.
enjoy yourself rather than make the day feel like a chore

[Timpo]

Everything's a rip off, over priced because it has the word wedding attached to it

This is so true!!

I know a girl who has a sister working as a professional event planner.

She said that when people ask for grand father's retirement party(for example), she would quote something like $8,000.

However, as soon as the customer say the word "wedding" the price goes up to $25,000.

Same venue, same food, same everything. But people are willing to pay for it just because it's a "wedding".

Her suggestion was, NEVER tell the event planner you're planning for wedding. Just say it is for your best friend's good bye party, your parents/grand parents retirement party, just make something up. Just hide it til very last minute. seriously.

[supafamous]

I know you should plan your wedding, expecting to fully pay for it.

But can anyone share how much you paid in total, vs. how much you received back from guest as red/lucky envelopes? 50%? 75%?

We got $15K in cash gifts (and only a few physical gifts) from 130 guests. Older Asians gave the most ($200-300 per couple), younger white people gave the least ($50-80 per couple). Wedding cost $40K and we had planned to get about $8-9K back in gifts so we were pleasantly surprised. The biggest surprise was a co-worker, the CFO at my company, who gave a $1K - didn't expect that level of generosity.

[meme405]

Just a note here. I've seen above that many people have mentioned wedding pictures/videos as important, and others have mentioned that they have never once looked at them.

I guess to some degree this depends on the person, but as you get older having pictures, to go back and look at can be incredible. I know my parents pulled out their wedding photos not long ago, for the first time in forever, and it was incredible to see them. At that moment in time I know that if you asked my parents was it worth the money they would have said absolutely, and probably would have wished they had spent even more to have a video or more photos to look at.

TL;DR - you may not look at the photo albums for 10 or 20 years, but if you are lucky enough to be married for longer than that, you will not regret having spent the money the day that you eventually do go back and look at them.

[GLOW]

i also purchased several more expensive bottles of scotch which i gave to my buddies to predrink on , that helped keep the bartab down haha


smart on you - pregame warm up :drunk: :thumbs:

[pastarocket]

NCRX is on the ball about enjoying the moment, the memories of your wedding day. Planning details are important, but savoring every moment of the day with your wife is the most important. :thumbsup:

Big tip: Make sure you, your fiancé, meet up with your MCs with a couple meetings weeks before your big day. I was one of the MCs at my brother's wedding three years ago. -felt like a project meeting to go over the details of scripts for me and the other MC (other MC did the Chinese translation :lawl:) in addition to planning some fun games to play on my bro and sister in law. Introducing the wedding party and immediate family of you and your bride-to-be is the most important part of the MC's job.

Congrats!

[westopher]

I spent 10k all in, open bar till 9 (not because of money, but because it helps control how blackout people get) ordered (quality Italian) pizza, canapes, and cheese and meat platters prepared by me and my friends the day before. Everyone still talks about how it was one of the best times they have ever had.
Don't spend too much time and money because it means more stress. More stress means less fun. People remember who they were there with, who banged who, and how late they stayed until. It really depends on your crowd though.
Only real advice is don't over extend yourself. Its not worth not affording your down payment, your honeymoon, your future just to try and impress a bunch of distant relatives and friends. Spend it with the people you love and it will be fucking great no matter what you do.
The best memory so many people have is watching my grandma chug Dom straight out of the bottle with me LOL. Our families are very mellow, and there was no interest in "impressing" people. Its hard to give good advice because its so personal for you and your families.

NCRX it sounds like we had similar thoughts on our weddings. We had ours at the wise hall, but yeah, no real emphasis on the flowers and other bullshit. Just the fun juice, and the food.

[Manic!]

This is so true!!

I know a girl who has a sister working as a professional event planner.

She said that when people ask for grand father's retirement party(for example), she would quote something like $8,000.

However, as soon as the customer say the word "wedding" the price goes up to $25,000.

Same venue, same food, same everything. But people are willing to pay for it just because it's a "wedding".

Her suggestion was, NEVER tell the event planner you're planning for wedding. Just say it is for your best friend's good bye party, your parents/grand parents retirement party, just make something up. Just hide it til very last minute. seriously.

Wedding are a lot more work. As A DJ I have done 3 weddings and a bunch of other parties and weddings are a lot more work. I also have a photo/video booth I built and have done lots of wedding receptions.


2 most important parts of the reception are the music and the booze. If you have good music and an open bar you will have guests chanting one more song at 1 A.M. instead of leaving by 10:30 PM. Look into renting a South Asian banquet hall. They have in house catering that can do all types of food including Chinese and let you bring your own booze. These places do multiple parties a week in the spring/summer. You also don't have to rent the whole place you can just rent 1/2 or less.

[Hehe]

If you are going to have an open bar, I'd suggest to just go get your own booze and hire bartenders (if venues allow it). A buddy of mine did this and we had a booze run to Calgary to load 8k worth of booze. And boy were we wasted after the wedding. :D

And as many have already suggested, it's better to keep the wedding small. You won't remember much anyway. And I think it's way better to do a small wedding in a nice venue vs. a big wedding in a so-so one.

I had a small one at a Ritz-Carlton and it was awesome. We had access to private beach, classy venue and great food/service. My brother who had a much larger one in a worse venue later told me my wedding was much nicer... and on a per-head count basis, we didn't spend much more than he did.

[320icar]

gonna just put my own input as ive been a guest to many, but not planned my own

- no one cares about how baller it is. if you have the money and WANT to show off, then fine.
- the best weddings ive been to have been in backyards. seriously. the last one which was an intimate home setting was a beautiful home (not mansion) in north van. very well decorated and the whole thing was catered by a friend of the bride/groom. big bbq, lots of craft beer and just a wonderful time. probably the best wedding ive been to.
- in contrast, a few weeks after i went to a friends wedding at the westin wall centre in richmond. 300 or so people. 70% of them were random elder family, or "work associates" of the bride's father. it was just an absolute pissing contest for the parents i guess. open bar was very awesome, but i ended up getting food poisoning and spent the next 3 days hugging the toilet. venue was bland and the food even moreso. pretty dissapointing as i had high hopes.
- my brother got married in maui and only invited close family. it was more for show though, as he had a crazy suprise wedding with just friends before hand (apparently way less red tape and hoops to jump through if you "legally" marry in your own country, and just do a ceremony somewhere else like maui). anyways, he invited all of his close friends over to his apartment for a "jack and jill" party. a last HURRAH of being not married yet. but out of no where, a pastor comes in and they got married right there with only the most important people around. now a memory like that will last forever.


my main suggestion is though, get a candy bar. seriously bro. go to superstore bulk section or costco, buy a shit tonne of gummy worms, sour keys, hershey kisses etc and make an 'open candy bar'. all the grandparents and less than 19's will thank you for it.

[SlowEK]

Let her plan the wedding, you are only there for input :) unless you want to be a Groomzilla. As everyone said food is everything+ open bar upto a certain time. if you can, and a dance area... Also 300+ people damn that's alot of people, I'd cut down on excess baggage, people you hardly know, we did on ours. And on some we didn't invite their kids only our nieces/nephews . we spent most of our money on the honeymoon.

If only two of you are paying for the wedding. Dont be obligated to invite your parents friends unless they are close to you, not your parents

Fun and stressful time. A money pit as well.

Newlands in Langley have a preset package don't know how much it cost now but they did good in ours, almost 8+years ago.they include food, flowers, ceremony area, decorations , hall, booze, photographer and I think a DJ. Can't remember it's been a while. Blew about 20k-25k all in all on the wedding including dresses, rides etc. We negotiated what we wanted. So it wasn't too bad

[Timpo]

Video: Carrick Talks Money: What?s with all the overspending on weddings (average cost: $31,000+)? - The Globe and Mail (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/video/video-carrick-talks-money-whats-with-all-the-overspending-on-weddings-avg-cost-31000/article30574264/)