[MG1]

Let's start off with common mistakes in the homonym category. Taken from various posts by RS members.

Number one misused one is..........

Their, as in it is their car.

Instead, people use there.

Their - There- They're

Another one.......

Two, to, too.


Chalk - Chock

Kids and their chalk, as opposed to that car should have a wheel chock in front of the tire.

Quite common = its vs it's

"It's" is a contraction of the words "it is". Its is a word used to show possession, as in, the car had its tire stolen.

Break vs brake is so common on RS, lol.

Break = I want to break *****'s neck. (edited out a certain RS member's name, hee hee, hue hue, pew pew.)
Brake = He loves the taste of brake fluid.

List for adding more

plane vs plain
bare vs bear
buy vs by
desert vs dessert
principal vs principle


AND........ RS' favourite, wonder vs wander :lawl:


All your base are belong to us

[Eastwood]

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/520/073/eb9.jpg

[fliptuner]

Tires have tread not thread.

[yray]

diuuuu

MG1 didnt get his ikea breakfast this morning so he grumpy

[bobbinka]

another common one here is "would've" which people write as "would of"

this one is quite annoying as it's not just a spelling error and means that people actually don't understand what the words they're saying means.

[carisear]

meh, there are lots of lupolls in the engrish language.

[Gumby]

And hockey players resign with their original teams.

[jing]

meh, there are lots of lupolls in the engrish language.

Not sure if srs...

[GLOW]

diuuuu

MG1 didnt get his ikea breakfast this morning so he grumpy

Lettuce b cereal grammar is cereal bidness

[flagella]

Then and than. Get it right fucking people.

[Inaii]

Accept and Except

Affect and Effect

Also, warehouse is NOT spelled wearhouse.

[Armind]

What is a engrish?

[slicrick]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzyCi1BFATA

[pastarocket]

English as a language has so much funny slang and more and more acronyms these days. :troll:

The state of the English language hurts right in them feels. LOL. :lawl:

Epic fail. Troll a person. The list of English slang goes on and on.

Acronyms are commonly used these days in text messaging: lol, fml, yolo, iirc, lmao, imo, wtf, etc.

My all time favorite English slang: "That's a sick car!!" LUL

[SpartanAir]

Browsing CL for furniture lately:

It's DINING room, not DINNING room.

Where does that even come from? It's not even close to any other word! Infuriating...

[punkwax]

^My guess is it comes from the word dinner.

I've noticed it a lot on CL too.

[MG1]

Accept and Except

Affect and Effect

Also, warehouse is NOT spelled wearhouse.

Unless it's Mark's Work Wearhouse. Lol.

I guess that's why they changed their name to just Mark's.

[MG1]

What is a engrish?

It's a bit nicer than chinglish...............

[fliptuner]

Farther = distance
Further = degree


Reference: Finding Forrester :troll:

[MG1]

Browsing CL for furniture lately:

It's DINING room, not DINNING room.

Where does that even come from? It's not even close to any other word! Infuriating...

Thank you, a perfect segue for lesson number two.

Double consonant rule.

A vowel followed by a single consonant is long sounding, while a double consonant results in a short sounding vowel.

Of course, there are exceptions, but generally true. It's more a spelling rule, but part of grammar nonetheless.

[MG1]

Oh, forgot........... some samples.

But, before that is done, let's review vowels.

Vowels are:

A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y.

Y becomes a vowel when it takes on the sound of one of the other true vowels.

Like Candy, why, etc. Yellow is not.

So, consonants are the other letters.

More later when I come back from concert in the park........ Dear......... oops, Deer Lake.

[dbaz]

trast instead of trust is a common one

[The_Situation]

When people don't care for something they sometimes use I could care less. That means that you care slightly for it therefore you COULD care less. If you did not care for it at all then you couldn't care less.

[Xu.Vi]

GrammAr not grammEr

[v_tec]

inb4 Gulu starts a thread on Chinglish 101 :troll:

[jasonturbo]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bp8qL8ACEAApjhB.jpg

Thank god for the large number of people with terrible writing skills, if everyone wrote like Christopher Hitchens my literary incompetence would be far more apparent.

It's retards who can't write well (Or read well for that matter) that enable me to earn Porsche money.

:nyan:

[68style]

No matter how good a deal it might be, I don't think I could ever buy a car from anyone who says their car has good breaks or a recent break job in their ad. I swear I flip a table every time I see that...

I've flipped an awful lot of tables.

[evlee]

Thought, though, through

[MG1]

^ through - threw

[Akinari]

https://youtu.be/e6-B2TJN8UQ

[Hehe]

RS: a car enthusiasts-focused ESL coming soon.

Teacher 1: MG1 - all female class, period.
Teacher 2: Timpo - How to spell GTR, because frankly, no other car matters.
Head of Recruit: Gululu - who else can find Chinese ESL student driving Ferrari/Lambo/McLaren?

:fuckthatshit:

[J-Chow]

Here's a common one.

Crossing the BORDER, not BOARDER.

[Timpo]

Japanese singer, Hironobu Kageyama was singing Dragon Ball Z Burst Limit song in English. :badpokerface:

Just listen to it... :okay:

0:07 - It's only for the ass
0:24 - Everything's been going right up in my ass today
0:54 - The dead clown's gonna pay the rent for us
1:01 - We avenge the aloe vera
1:09 - Get your hands asshole
1:22 - It's only 'cause you're black, the neighbor dies
1:39 - If you don't have a sach
1:54 - People say somethimes you must be a hot lesbian
2:06 - Your ass makes me think about our world cuz its round
2:12 - Waiting to trust my balls
3:29 - Its only for the ass
3:45 - for we tried to get our freedom, fight to get the cum out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U92tV1ErNJA

[Verdasco]

Could of does not exist. Neither do should of, will of, or would of as verbs. Write could have, should have, will have, or would have. If you want to emphasize the pronunciation, write it as a verb contraction: could've, should've, will've, or would've.

source: google, this is most troubling imo

[AzNightmare]

Could of does not exist. Neither do should of, will of, or would of as verbs. Write could have, should have, will have, or would have. If you want to emphasize the pronunciation, write it as a verb contraction: could've, should've, will've, or would've.

source: google, this is most troubling imo

I'll never forget this one because I actually used to make this mistake and learnt this one from RS many years ago when a member called me out on it. Can't remember who though.

[CivicBlues]

I'll never forget this one because I actually used to make this mistake and learnt this one from RS many years ago when a member called me out on it. Can't remember who though.

Probably me. EleGiggle

[chinese_driver]

might've not might of

[MG1]

Mine, not mines.

Mines are places where you dig for shit, or explosives, like in land mines.

Mine as in, "It's mine, not yours."

Oh, there you go............. another one. Your and you're.

Your mom is HOT!
You're not hot.

Anyway........... oh shit, another one. It is anyway, not anyways. They say Vancouverites always use anyways insead of anyway.

So much to learn here, FOB's. Once you think you've got it, the English language throws you a curve, not curb.

[Traum]

This thread rocks. I don't pretend I use perfect Engrish, but my junior high English teacher drilled it into my head about the importance of proper English and grammar. Nearly every example you guys quoted here drive me frickin' nuts when I see other people use it as if it was correct.

Here is another one:

borrow =\= lend

I would nearly flip out every time I hear someone say "Can you borrow me your whatever..." :yuno:

[MarkyMark]

One that I notice a lot and for some reason chaps my ass the most is people spelling ridiculous as rediculous.

[ZN6]

Caulk goes where?

No, not cock.

[MG1]

Caulk goes inside the crack............. or hole(s). To plug a gap.......... :lawl:

[tiger_handheld]

advise
advice

principal
principle

effect
affect

when do i use those?
*semi serious*

[MG1]

Principal of a school - no other use of that word...... okay, maybe on Reboot.

Principle, as in he did it on principle.

You advise someone, whereas you give someone advice.

You affect someone's decision by your actions.

The effect was global in nature.


Understanding parts of speech helps a lot (not alot).......... srs.

Nouns Verbs
Adjectives Adverbs
Nouns Pronouns
Participle Past Participle
Tenses
Etcetera............

[Traum]

Principal of a school - no other use of that word...... okay, maybe on Reboot.
The initial starting sum of an investment is also the "principal" or "principal" amount.

Yes, when people incorrectly use "affect" vs "effect", it drives me nut too... :yuno:

[bobbinka]

Principal of a school - no other use of that word...... okay, maybe on Reboot.

I was taught that in elementary school too. However, Principal can actually be used to refer to a primary amount.

*edit, damn.... Traum beat me to it

[MG1]

The initial starting sum of an investment is also the "principal" or "principal" amount.

Yes, when people incorrectly use "affect" vs "effect", it drives me nut too... :yuno:

Or, paying off the principal on a loan (same thing). Totally forgot, lol.

[MG1]

Lesson three...........

Canadian spelling vs Amurican spelling

Centre vs Center
Grey vs Gray
Cheque vs Check
Theatre vs Theater
Labour vs Labor
Honour vs Honor
Harbour vs Harbor Freight
Colour vs Color (just aboot anything with "our" is "or")


It gets annoying sometimes, 'cause HTML and other stuff is in Amurican.

Our spelling is more British. Since they're the ones where English comes from, we have the spelling right, lol. The Americans a British bastards anyway, hee hee, hue hue, pew pew.

Thank god there's a Canadian version of Sesame Street where it's X, Y and Zed and not Zee.

[bobbinka]

maybe you should update the original post as you go :)

[AzNightmare]

Our spelling is more British. Since they're the ones where English comes from, we have the spelling right, lol. The Americans a British bastards anyway, hee hee, hue hue, pew pew.

Thank god there's a Canadian version of Sesame Street where it's X, Y and Zed and not Zee.

So I guess our cars have tyres, not tires.

:troll:

[MG1]

And, we smoke fags.

[GLOW]

a bundle of sticks?

[MG1]

No, I think those would be faggots. :lawl:

[Mancini]

When people don't care for something they sometimes use I could care less. That means that you care slightly for it therefore you COULD care less. If you did not care for it at all then you couldn't care less.

I couldn't agree more.

[Mancini]

https://youtu.be/e6-B2TJN8UQ

I want cock. Give meeee.

[adambomb]

People who spell frnds instead of friends. Learning your vowels is so simple. :okay:

[AzNightmare]

People who spell frnds instead of friends. Learning your vowels is so simple. :okay:

it's a complex system for the same people who decide to use z instead of s for "frndz"...

[6o4__boi]

holy shit

i know someone who still says "da" instead of "the" and "dis" instead of "this"
fuckin drives me up the walls when i read shit they write

[rain_or_shine]

defiantly =/= definitely

[ZN6]

Principal of a school - no other use of that word...... okay, maybe on Reboot.

Principle, as in he did it on principle.

You advise someone, whereas you give someone advice.

You affect someone's decision by your actions.

The effect was global in nature.


Understanding parts of speech helps a lot (not alot).......... srs.

Nouns Verbs
Adjectives Adverbs
Nouns Pronouns
Participle Past Participle
Tenses
Etcetera............

Principal is your "pal". My old principal also used to play D2 and ironically, he was a paladin.

[MG1]

it's a complex system for the same people who decide to use z instead of s for "frndz"...

Probably because they don't know the I before E rule,
Lol

Just avoid it altogether.

Like the people who don't know where the comma and period goes when using quotations - just put it right underneath them, lol. Except, with word processors you're kind of screwed.

[AzNightmare]

Oh yeah... Usually found in the Canucks thread.

Resign vs Re-sign.

Players re-sign new contracts.
They never resign. They retire.

[Lomac]

Irregardless.

That word gives me conniptions. I know it's *technically* a word (autocorrect on my British-English spell check in Firefox isn't highlighting it for me), but it just sounds so damn wrong. If you're going to use it, keep in mind that there's a built-in double negative in the word, so it actually refers to "in regard to."

[MG1]

Ah, double negatives.............

I ain't got no more, LOL.

[dat_steve]

Irregardless.

That word gives me conniptions. I know it's *technically* a word (autocorrect on my British-English spell check in Firefox isn't highlighting it for me), but it just sounds so damn wrong. If you're going to use it, keep in mind that there's a built-in double negative in the word, so it actually refers to "in regard to."

anyone who i've ever heard/seen use "irregardless" usually also confuses their/they're/there. reading this thread makes me so angry lol all my pet peeves post after post

[MG1]

Just as annoying are people getting idioms wrong.

At work, one guy sorts and labels boxes with parts in them. On one of them, he puts down, "Odds and Ins," instead of "Odds and Ends." :lawl:

[carisear]

meh, we are all moving towards newspeak anyways.

I stopped caring about poor English ages ago. I have much better things to do with my time now. brb trying to catch more pokemons

[minoru_tanaka]

Irregardless.

That word gives me conniptions. I know it's *technically* a word (autocorrect on my British-English spell check in Firefox isn't highlighting it for me), but it just sounds so damn wrong. If you're going to use it, keep in mind that there's a built-in double negative in the word, so it actually refers to "in regard to."

Unique. It irks me when people say things are "so unique" but it's so common now that it's just accepted. But it's the same as saying something is "so one of a kind"

[CivicBlues]

"Literally"

Hearing this word misused literally makes me want to bang my head against the door.

It literally didn't take you forever.

You literally didn't die.

Because you'd be dead.

See the difference people?

[Presto]

Surprised there's no mention of lose or loose.

Lose = cease to have something (I lost my marbles)
Loose = not firmly or tightly fixed in place (You have a few loose marbles)

I frequently see people use loose in place of lose.

[dat_steve]

meh, we are all moving towards newspeak anyways.


yeah, fam. shit is turnt lit af rn roll thru

[AzNightmare]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIkJ4BUChxI

:lol

[MG1]

Walla vs voila, lol

As Canadians, I guess we've seen it enough in french classes to know it's voila, but them amuricans.

How to replace headlight bulb........ you take these two screws out, remove the housing, and walla, it's done........... gululololololol.

[spoon.ek9]

My co-worker just yesterday left a note saying "doctor will reaccess" lol. She's a hilarious fob though. On the advice vs advise note, someone was pronouncing and spelling it as "adwise". Of course, no one corrected her because it's funnier that way lol.

Also, Ralph Wiggums, love that kid. Super Nintendo Chalmers. That is all.

[Slifer]

Kid ways about 150 pounds. if a light pole can't candle that we got big problems. How much longer before a gust of wind took it down?
:rukidding:

[MG1]

New lesson for the month of September.

Comma's.

I have been accused many times of overdoing it with commas, but it's better than being misunderstood.

So, when do we need comma's?

First of all, commas are used to separate phrases, thoughts, and......... actually, it's used for so many reasons.

Some examples:

"Good morning, shit."

You are most likely calling someone a shit, while wishing that person a good morning.
You may also be wishing a good morning to the shit you just expelled (for lack of a better term).

Good, morning shit.

It was indeed a good one. You feel so much better.

If you had written Good morning shit, without any commas, it would be misunderstood.

Just an Eff Why Eye, commas are used to separate items in a list.

For example; She wore a very short, tight, shiny blue dress that shimmered in the moonlight, as she pranced across the street to catch the last Skytrain on New Year's Eve.

Some people think that a comma before the word "and" is not necessary, but I like to have that extra one there, and it is perfectly fine/acceptable.

Options, options, and more options. Ah, the English language is so confusing.

god bless........

[donk.]

Everytime i read a engrish thread i think about :joy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tHMvdBP2RQ

[Mancini]

It's the difference between:
Knowing your shit, and;
Knowing you're shit.

[Reeyal]

It's the difference between:
Knowing your shit, and;
Knowing you're shit.

Yes..
http://www.revscene.net/forums/633139-funny-stuff-what-makes-you-laugh-sfw-12.html#post8782513

[Mancini]

Stuffs.

[Mancini]

Quite. Quiet.

[Armind]

worsest

[Mancini]

worsest

That's even more worser than my suggestions.

[Armind]

:accepted:

[dat_steve]

I would have written it as:

"She wore a very short, tight, shiny blue dress that shimmered in the moonlight as she pranced across the street to catch the last Skytrain on New Year's Eve."

I removed the comma between "moonlight" and "as". I think it reads a bit better but that's just my take.

Oh, and the Oxford Comma is something that separates the scholars from the plebs imo.

[MG1]

You may be right. I used the comma, because of the 'two phrases could be flipped around' rule.

As she pranced across the street to catch the last Skytrain on New Year's Eve, she wore a very short, tight, shiny blue dress that shimmered in the moonlight.

Yeah, doesn't work quite that well.

It's not necessary................ what can I say? I'm comma struck.

[MG1]

Oh, and commas can be used to separate names within sentences.

Hi, Dan, how are you doing these days? Sakuma Drops, I miss you.

[twitchyzero]

I often see dashes used in place of semicolons in books

but I can't seem to find that longer dash punctuation on my keyboard...fail

http://www.thepunctuationguide.com/em-dash.html

[MG1]

Well, on a Mac, you use the option key with the "-" key. That will give you an "N" dash. You can get an "M" dash by combining the two of those keys with the shift key, or was it the "control" key. Not at a computer right now.

[prolepsis]

I often see dashes used in place of semicolons in books

but I can't seem to find that longer dash punctuation on my keyboard...fail

Em dash -- The Punctuation Guide (http://www.thepunctuationguide.com/em-dash.html)

For the em dash just enter two hyphens ("-").

For example, word1--word2.

If you're using MS Word or something similar, when you do this (no space before or after the dash), you'll see that the two hyphens will automatically turn into one solid line--the em dash.

You can also look up the unicode, etc., but I find for most programs, typing two hyphens is the most convenient way to use the em dash.

[MG1]

All this hyphen talk reminded me about something that isn't grammar related, but bugs the hell out of me. The amount of spaces after a period. It should be two, if you are using a typewriter, but only one if you're using something a little more modern, like a word processor.

[MG1]

Who vs that.

When talking about a person or people, "who" should be used.

Jack, who I saw yesterday, won the 6/49 jackpot.

Not.............

Jack, that I saw yesterday, won the 6/49 jackpot.

There are some exceptions to the rule, however.

The guy that stole the jeans, slipped and fell down the stairs. Used for someone you don't really know or give two shits about. Still, "who" sounds better.

In plural form, the use of "that" is acceptable. The girls that just left the party, were very drunk.

In any case, who should never be used with objects.

Another one is the Asian vs Oriental rule.

Asian refers to people, whereas oriental refers to objects.

[dbaz]

Would the following be acceptable for objects?

The tits that I saw yesterday were perky.

[MG1]

Would the following be acceptable for objects?

The tits that I saw yesterday were perky.

Totally okay.........:thumbs:

............so where are the pics?

[MG1]

So here is a challenge question..........


The tits on the girl who I saw yesterday were perky.

OR

The tits on the girl that I saw yesterday were perky.

OR

The tits on the girl I saw yesterday were perky.


OR

I love perky tits.


Also, inb4, "Women are not objects," hee hee, hue hue, pew pew.

[Traum]

^^ I'd say all 4 versions are perfectly acceptable.

But really, where are the pics???

[Gumby]

I would just say "I saw a girl with perky tits yesterday".

[AzNightmare]

Sometimes I wonder if people's English are really that bad, or do they just comment and couldn't be bothered to proofread or edit.

If I discover grammatical errors during my proofread, I try to go back and fix it ASAP, hoping no one will read it and quote it, which then would make it too late as my mistake will forever be set in stone. :lol

[MG1]

Now there's another one............

Sometimes I wonder if people's English are really that bad.

Sometimes I wonder if people's English is really that bad.

I always get confused on that one. Is it plural because of "people's"? Or, is it singular because of the "English"? Or, People as a singular entity.......

Subject-Verb Agreement Rule(s).

Which also brings up the question - is the word "is" a verb? It is, but can also be a helping verb. Some think the word is a preposition or even a noun.

Better to just leave it to the scholars, LOL. Like a religious person. Just pray and be done with it. No need to be a theologian.

[dbaz]

im starting to think mg1 was once an english teacher but got in trouble for banging the students

[Traum]

Now there's another one............

Sometimes I wonder if people's English are really that bad.

Sometimes I wonder if people's English is really that bad.

I always get confused on that one. Is it plural because of "people's"? Or, is it singular because of the "English"? Or, People as a singular entity.......

100% certain that the correct version is:


Sometimes I wonder if people's English is really that bad.


If you break the sentence down into its core parts, it is really simple to see.

1) For our linguistic analysis, we can basically ignore the first bit up to the "if" portion, so the sentence becomes:

People's English is really that bad.

2) But in this case, "People's" really serves as an adjective, so it doesn't have a role in determining what conjugation the verb uses. This means the portion to consider becomes:

English is really that bad.

3) The noun "English" means we use the "is" form of the verb "to be". So

Sometimes I wonder if people's English is really that bad.

is the correct version.

[MG1]

im starting to think mg1 was once an english teacher but got in trouble for banging the students

College prof, ftmfw!

[MG1]

Needs a bump every now and then. I figure it’s about that time.

[MG1]

It's anyway, not anyways...............

Anyways is used often here in the wet coast, but it seems it has spread around the world. Slang is a bitch, gulolol.

[MG1]

Just found this thread................. again.

When to use, "me or, I".

Mike and me went to the Canucks game last night.

Mike and I went to the Canucks game last night.

Bob went with Nancy and me to the game last night.

Bob went with Nancy and I to the game last night.

It's pretty simple. Just remove the other person(s) from the sentence and it'll make sense.

Bob went with me to the game last night.

[Badhobz]

ME AND BOB! ME AND BOB!!!!!!!!!! a la la la la, i cant hear you professor

[MG1]

Clam down, big boy…………..