[E-SPEC]

7 year relationship, wonderful kid came from it, woman went from good to bad basically but no cheating ever happened. And 7k ring bought for her. After broken up she seems to think she should just get to keep the ring, i tell her she is out of her cunt driven mind (basically), IMO the ring becomes hers ONLY when she says "I DO" to getting married. So i tell we will sell it and split the proceeds just to avoid a bad arguments and possibly issues with my daughter over it. Same with the money i give her monthly, i give her too much , again just to shut her up. And we are 50/50 co-parents too! So any similar stories from you guys? And what do you think should happen to a ring when two people break up. Our's was fairly mutual, we both didn't want to spend any more time together.

[dbaz]

if your daughter is the most important thing to come out of the relationship, i'd let her keep it. courts usually favor the mom unfortunately, so you gotta keep the mom happyish so she doesn't fuck you over

[E-SPEC]

Good response.

[Infiniti]

My buddy was previously engaged, after him and his ex broke up he kept the ring. He attempted to sell it and was unable to get a worthwhile price. Fast forward to today, he's engaged to a different woman and she's totally cool with receiving that ring.

[MrPhreak]

It was my understanding that the engagement ring goes to whomever didn't get cold feet

If the guy decides to back out, the girl gets it... if the girl gets cold feet, she returns it

In a perfectly mutual breakup, it should probably be sold for whatever you can get and split 50/50

[Tapioca]

if your daughter is the most important thing to come out of the relationship, i'd let her keep it. courts usually favor the mom unfortunately, so you gotta keep the mom happyish so she doesn't fuck you over

The courts make sure everything is 50/50. The reason why they tend to favour women is because on average, women make less than men and have fewer assets. Women are responsible for most of the child rearing and have to forego full time work while doing so.

[N.V.M.]

Is this the OP? Lol

Ex-fiancée claims she helped pay for $16,500 engagement ring at centre of bitter lawsuit (http://www.nationalpost.com/m/wp/news/canada/blog.html?b=news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/gold-digger-ex-fiancee-claims-she-helped-pay-for-16500-engagement-ring-at-centre-of-lawsuit)

[E-SPEC]

lol

[twitchyzero]

stay safe OP

[320icar]

As far as I'm concerned (as someone who recently proposed) if she backed out, that ring is 100% my property. Yes it was a gift, but a gift also tied to a pretty huge promise.

Though you guys were married for 7 years, I'd say split the cost and make both sides happy.

[E-SPEC]

Precisely those are all of my thoughts! No thankfully we didn't get married.

[N.V.M.]

After 2 years of cohabitation, you're married in BC. End of story.

[320icar]

^^this. You guys promised yourselves to each other, were together for 7 years and had a child. Ceremony or not, y'all married.

Sorry for the situation though. I have a coworker going through a very ugly divorce (with psychologists and lots of lawyers and urrthang). Breaks my heart

[murd0c]

to be fair I think she should give it back to your no questions asked and you can choose to let her keep it. Sounds like she's just being greedy to be honest. You bought it for her to get married and that happened and you should get it back since the actual vows were never said.

[Timpo]

Engagement ring is a "gift" once you give it to the person, the ownership will automatically transfer just like any other gift.

However some people look at it as a "contract", not a "gift"
If the contract didn't go through, it should be given back to the man.

Looks like the law isn't very clear about engagement ring.

There's no specific "engagement ring law"
Battle over $16K engagement ring escalates - British Columbia - CBC News (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/battle-over-16k-engagement-ring-escalates-1.1871578)
Estranged couple squares off over $16K engagement ring - British Columbia - CBC News (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/estranged-couple-squares-off-over-16k-engagement-ring-1.1860480)


Here's another case:
Lawsuit over $228K engagement ring withdrawn by B.C. widower - British Columbia - CBC News (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/lawsuit-over-228k-engagement-ring-withdrawn-by-b-c-widower-1.2542028)

[dapperfied]

I'd ask for the ring back, sell it and put the money into bank savings for your daughter's future education.

I can't trust someone with 7K, unless they're financially and mentally stable. That's just my pov.

If she complains about this, she's a bitch.

[Rallydrv]

Sell the ring and open a college fund for ur kid.

[RickyTan3]

Wow you guys are cheap as fuck.
If you couldn't afford it don't buy it in the first place. It's only 7k.

Especially if you have a daughter just let her keep it and move on. The fighting over it is not worth your daughters happiness.

Think of it as payment of how many times she put your dick in her mouth.

[vitaminG]

together for 7 years w/ a kid, unless she was actively resisting getting married you should have been married by now. so i wouldnt use the fact that you never ended up walking down the aisle as an excuse.

unfortunately in many cultures women are seen as damaged goods after a long relationship and kids. so the jewelry and such is to compensate her for losing a man.

[punkwax]

If she doesn't want to be with you she shouldn't want to keep a ring that reminds her of you. Which leads me to believe she has plans for that money... good luck OP. Fack.

[TouringTeg]

Miserable stuff.

A lot of women don't want a used engagement ring so they aren't worth a lot on the used market. At least that has been my experience.

I wasn't happy about it but I let my ex keep the ring. It was purchased at Ben Moss. At the time they offered a deal where if you trade it back in they will give you full credit towards a more expensive ring that is at least double the price. She just wanted to keep it to get the full credit and trade up.

Let it go and move on with your life.

[320icar]

Wait, so of that 7 year relationship, how long were you engaged. That makes a big difference

[Hehe]

An engagement ring by definition of law is a conditional gift. If the purpose/condition was not met, you are entitled to get it back.

However, since she gave birth to your daughter and all, is the amount of money on whatever the ring valued at currently worth to fight over? Money can be made... but the child's perception to family is something you can't buy with money.

IMO, even after the split, you both have the responsibility to give your lil girl the value of family she deserves to have. If I were you I'd just let her keep the ring, but why pay her? Unless she's watching the kid full time... that's another story. Otherwise, just show your daughter how adults handle their screwups in an adult manner and that even after the split, you guys are on a good term.

[DGN23]

Based purely on what OP mentioned in above post I would say either the girl keeps the ring; based on assumption that ring was given early on in the above mentioned 7 year relationship. Alternatively the ring is sold and proceeds put into a trust for the daughters education. At the end of the day there is a kid involved so the decision made needs to be beneficial to the kid first a foremost.

[Mr.HappySilp]

I would let her keep it if she really wants to. I let my ex keep my ring. I mean a gift is a gift you can't ask for it back.

Oh and she is being a bitch I would get a lawyer ASAP to sort everything out so she can't take advantage of you.

[Ch28]

I'd ask for the ring back, sell it and put the money into bank savings for your daughter's future education.

I can't trust someone with 7K, unless they're financially and mentally stable. That's just my pov.

If she complains about this, she's a bitch.

Sell the ring and open a college fund for ur kid.

Sounds like you genuinely care and love your daughter, so these are the most realistic scenarios provided your ex actually cares about her.

[RRxtar]

An Engagement Ring isnt a gift, it is a bribe, lol.

But I agree with whoever said that if the ring is accepted, but someone backs out before the wedding, whoever backed out of the wedding, it goes to the other. eg: If he backs out, she keeps it.

If it is a mutual break, I believe the honest answer is that it should go back to the guy. He spent a lot of his own money (before they agreed to join lives and finances) for the ring. If they choose not to go thru with the wedding, if she keeps it she is gaining an asset and he is losing one. If he keeps it, she is neither gaining nor losing an asset, and he has the ability to recoup some of his losses for the ring.

After the wedding, it is hers to keep.




OP, what I would do: Tell her you guys should mutually sell it, and the money goes into a trust for your daughter. If she turns that down, shes an unreasonable and selfish cunt, and you should dance off into a merry sunset having dodged that bullet.

[RRxtar]

On a related note, I just saw a post in one of those shop and swaps on facebook. Some skanky looking hoe was selling an engagement ring appraised at like $15k.

Of course I clicked on her profile. Dozens of profile pics full of cleavage shots. It had a "(hoe) got engaged to (sucker)" status like 3 months prior. Poor bastard.

Like a hundred comments with other hoes saying she deserves to keep it and sell it.

[MG1]

My two bits........ girl keeps the ring.

You, as a man, gave her that ring. You lived with her for 7 years AND had a child. You are, in the eyes of the law, married (common law). She probably put up with a lot. You may see it differently, but that doesn't matter. She gave birth to a child and probably went through a lot raising that child. A 7K ring? Stop being a cheap ass and move on. Your mistake. Plain and simple.


BTW, I'm old fashioned................ so forgive me.




god bless

[N.V.M.]

A $7K ring bought retail is about $1500 second hand. Lol. The money is gone.

[E-SPEC]

Little less than 1 year before breakup the ring was placed on her finger.

[E-SPEC]

Thanks for the genuine replies.

[twitchyzero]

I believe the ring and institution of marriage is something that should be phased out with our parent's generation, if the couples are not religious.

The stats don't lie; one in two marriages will fail.

People change, and that's not always a negative thing.

Cheers OP, glad to see you want best for your child.

[underscore]

I believe the ring and institution of marriage is something that should be phased out with our parent's generation, if the couples are not religious.

Marriage is a legal union, not just a religious one, and the rings never had anything to do with religion (people used to use all kinds of things). What does need to go away are the excessively expensive engagement rings, the amount of money some people spend on them is insane, especially since nobody can tell the difference.

[GS8]

Marriage is a legal union, not just a religious one, and the rings never had anything to do with religion (people used to use all kinds of things). What does need to go away are the excessively expensive engagement rings, the amount of money some people spend on them is insane, especially since nobody can tell the difference.

I'd like to add that the diamond industry is a big fucking scam. Diamonds are nowhere near worth what you think they are. De Beers is TELLING you what they're worth.

To the OP:

I say forget about the ring. It's just a material possession that took a huge depreciation hit. Focus on your daughter and a healthy triangular relationship between the three of you. A ring is not worth potential destructive consequences.

[320icar]

Little less than 1 year before breakup the ring was placed on her finger.

100% the ring goes back to you. Asked my fiancé and she said the same thing

[frozen]

lol @ mofos buying engagement rings to get married (looks like in this case an engagement ring bought just to live together? lol). Way too many people fall for this garbage. I'm surprised people continue to shell this amount of money for an engagement ring and spend tens of thousands for a wedding ceremony, when these money could be meaningfully put towards something else. It's almost like a condition precedent prior to the proposal. Tell your girl to fuck off if she can't be with you without an engagement ring to flaunt it to her friends.

It's your sunk cost so just let her keep the fucking ring. In real life it's a clusterfuck to even prove who went cold feet first. She has her story and you have yours.

[jasonturbo]

After 2 years of cohabitation, you're married in BC. End of story.

You are so wrong, I've lived it, two years means common law, there is no provision for equal division of assets in common law separation. What you paid for belongs to you and what she paid for belongs to her - she can attempt to establish an interest in your property/belongings in that she may have "maintained" these assets, but that sort of thing is usually reserved for having painted walls... not having cleaned a 60" TV on occasion.

HOWEVER, being that you have child together, you're basically married.

Edit: Note that she can claim she paid for everything you bought, in which case both parties will need to provide paper evidence of who paid for what or it will be divided equally.

Plus you can still end up on the hook for alimony, the price of which goes up in relation to the discrepancy in your age, earnings, educational level, dependants and a few other factors.

Anna if you let her drive your car for the last 7 years there is a pretty good chance the court will expect you to compensate her for a portion of the vehicle as you had previously provided a luxury to which they have became accustomed.

Point is, without kids, a couple living together for 3 years who don't own property together can have a quick and easy split - it's not like a marriage where there is a 12 month separation and an automatic division of assets @50/50% assuming it is not contested.

[trancehead]

a ring is a bullshit mass media marketed event gift. so you lose anyways :D

[dark0821]

lol.. asked wife this questions... and she says the girl should return the ring just on morale grounds... good luck OP, but honestly you might just have dodged a bullet... imagine having this conversation after the actual marriage... will cost you a lot more than 7K i am sure....

[RRxtar]

i wonder if everyone saying rings are bullshit are single on here lol.


also for what its worth i asked my wife. she said no question the ring goes back to the guy if you didnt make it to the wedding

[bcuzracecarz]

If you guys have come to a mutual agreement to split it that's a homerun for you I'd say. Seeing as you were together so long usually I'd say ur out of luck; sell it and put it towards ur daughter, move on happily as you can. Jasonturbo nailed down the legal aspects to a tee, your way ahead to keep it happy and a peaceful transition

[Timpo]

Oh yeah opening your daughter's bank account / trust fund for education is a great idea, lock it up til she graduates high school.

Here's a quote from Einstein “The most powerful force in the universe is compound interest”

If you ex refuses to give money to your daughter's education, I would tell lawyer how much of horrible mother she is. Can't even sell the ring for her own child, she shouldn't have the custody.

[XplicitLuder]

You are so wrong, I've lived it, two years means common law, there is no provision for equal division of assets in common law separation. What you paid for belongs to you and what she paid for belongs to her

HA! tell that to my uncle's ex wife who took half his shit and retirement savings :fuckthatshit: and lets not forget shes the one who got caught cheating and didnt spend a single dime

[jasonturbo]

HA! tell that to my uncle's ex wife who took half his shit and retirement savings :fuckthatshit: and lets not forget shes the one who got caught cheating and didnt spend a single dime

"Ex Wife" would not suggest a common law relationship, however, after say 20+ years of common law the court will most certainly view you as married.

[lowside67]

An engagement ring by definition of law is a conditional gift. If the purpose/condition was not met, you are entitled to get it back.

Are you a lawyer? I have absolutely never heard of a "conditional gift" (as opposed to a contract with conditions) and I somewhat suspect that even if such a thing existed, the courts would not agree that becoming married is a contractual obligation to be engaged.

In any event, let's stay away from presenting things as legal fact without backing it up with some reliable sources, to help prevent misinformation from being spread as "definitely fact".

Mark

[flagella]

i wonder if everyone saying rings are bullshit are single on here lol.


also for what its worth i asked my wife. she said no question the ring goes back to the guy if you didnt make it to the wedding

Add me to the list who thinks the ring is bullshit. I'm happily married with two kids. We spent the $ towards an exotic honeymoon, which was fantastic and created long lasting memories.

I often wonder if those who are buying the engagement ring genuinely ask themselves why they are spending that money. Ultimately it really comes down to the fact that it's the marketing that added any value to this ring.

[320icar]

That discussion should be left for a different thread.

[will068]

Sorry to hear what you are going through OP, especially with a child together.

IMO, I would just want to keep the mother of my kid(s) happy. I would not want kid(s) growing up with a mom who has hate for me and would feed all this negativity to my kid(s) about me.

[unit]

50/50 means you're fighting over a really petty sum considering the resale value.
just let it go and have one less thing to strain the relationship over.

i wonder if everyone saying rings are bullshit are single on here lol.


i don't really care much about stuff like that, and neither does my SO.

[westopher]

Lol at the tinfoil hat people losing their shit about the validity of a diamond.
We know its bullshit, but the engagement ring I bought my wife made her very excited. It was worth it (it was also no more than a decent set of wheels, which are equally as vain and unnecessary.)
I can't believe she'd want to keep the ring after you break up. What the fuck is she going to do with it? Wear it still?
Every time I have ever come across this, usually the ring is handed back as part of the mutual break up.

[SkinnyPupp]

I believe the ring and institution of marriage is something that should be phased out with our parent's generation, if the couples are not religious.

The stats don't lie; one in two marriages will fail.

People change, and that's not always a negative thing.

Cheers OP, glad to see you want best for your child.
same sex marriages are something like 1 in 7

I don't know about the ring OP, but you might want to think about switching teams from now on KappaPride

[E-SPEC]

I'm enjoying reading all of this. Ring was honestly just sold to another couple on CL for $4100, split the money with her basically. Trust me, i wasn't happy about it simply because of her selfish attitude regarding all i do for her after the fact. You really fucking find out about a person only after you break up with them i have found. :) :thumbsup:

[westopher]

same sex marriages are something like 1 in 7

I imagine you are putting a bit of dry humour in there, but I can assure you there are a lot less long term same sex couples getting married which can account for a lot of that statistic.