[haymura]

Id like to hear your thoughts about this...

My wife's maternity leave is about to end soon and we are gonna have to put my kid in daycare because we both work in the mornings. For those with kids, im sure you know how expensive daycare is.
So im now trying to figure out which makes more sense, do I get a 2nd job in order to pay for daycare or do I quit my day job and find a night shift job instead? The day job i have right now does not offer night shift unfortunately.

[Badhobz]

If you can find an afternoon shift job do that. Daycare is expensive and ultimately distances your child from you. Might as well raise them how you want them to be raised instead of just throwing money for somebody else to do it.

That or use your resources. Grand parents ?!

[haymura]

Wish i had grandparents here or any family at all, but i dont. My wife has aunts here but they also work full time and dont have time to take care of our kid.

[quasi]

I'm not in the daycare is bad camp. I actually think it helps raise well developed and socialized children who gain a ton of experience interacting and dealing with other people.

I had my son in daycare from 1 to 10 and honestly even if I could go back in time or if my wife was at home full time I would have still sent him to daycare from age 4-10.

It's all about finding the right daycare that works with your child and helps them develop. My son is so far ahead in school, in the challenge program for the last 4 years, grade 7 reading level when he was in grade 5 and is really outgoing QB of his football team, Captain of his Lacrosse team, the alpha always and honestly I credit a lot of this to daycare and his experiences there.

[Mr.HappySilp]

Isn't it a bit late to apply for daycare now? I mean when my sister was a few month's pregnant she already made plan how many days her baby will be in daycare. According to her if you wait till your baby is born is too late since there is a long waitlist for daycare. Same with pre-school. Got to plan that stuff like at least 2 years ahead.

[fliptuner]

Totally agree. We have the best of both worlds, where our 3yo spends 2 days with Grandma and 3 days at daycare. There's only so much an untrained caregiver can teach your kid. Daycares have more resources, other kids (and adults), and more structure.

Other than the cost savings, the 2 days at different grandparents, teaches her different languages and our cultures. She also has Chinese school, 2x dance and swimming. Those are all independent, where we wait/watch but don't participate. Just cause we're not together, doesn't distance us from her - it teaches independence. Plus, we practice together, as a family.

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

can someone explain what the difference between daycare and preschool is?

i remember going to preschool... it was like 2 or 3 teachers and a class of 25-30 of us?

[kkttsang]

Preschool starts 3-4 yrs old and sometime just couple days a week.

[FerrariEnzo]

Preschool is only half day...

Daycare has pros and cons.. Helps the child to get social skills. which is good, when kids get old and they dont have any, its hard for them to meet friends, the other they get. Most of the time..

[haymura]

Isn't it a bit late to apply for daycare now? I mean when my sister was a few month's pregnant she already made plan how many days her baby will be in daycare. According to her if you wait till your baby is born is too late since there is a long waitlist for daycare. Same with pre-school. Got to plan that stuff like at least 2 years ahead.

We already signed up for daycare waitlist so we are close to being next in line but im just contemplating whether i should daycare or change shifts.
But yes, you are correct about being too late if we just made the decision of putting child in daycare.

[haymura]

I'm not in the daycare is bad camp. I actually think it helps raise well developed and socialized children who gain a ton of experience interacting and dealing with other people.

I had my son in daycare from 1 to 10 and honestly even if I could go back in time or if my wife was at home full time I would have still sent him to daycare from age 4-10.

It's all about finding the right daycare that works with your child and helps them develop. My son is so far ahead in school, in the challenge program for the last 4 years, grade 7 reading level when he was in grade 5 and is really outgoing QB of his football team, Captain of his Lacrosse team, the alpha always and honestly I credit a lot of this to daycare and his experiences there.

This is a great and different perspective. I definitely want my son to be well sociable and build communication skills. I guess we just have to find the right daycare. Thank you for this.

[stewie]

We already signed up for daycare waitlist so we are close to being next in line but im just contemplating whether i should daycare or change shifts.
But yes, you are correct about being too late if we just made the decision of putting child in daycare.

Ever consider using an at home day care? I see signs for them all over the place. Other kids are there and the hours are probably a lot more flexible than being in a school setting. I'm guessing the price difference would be a bit cheaper as well.


Anyone ever use one? Drop your kid off, go to work, let the stay at home mom watch the kids and let them play together there and cook them lunches and you pick them up when you're off work.

[320icar]

You have to make sure they are licensed and insured though, especially if it isn’t a friend of family. Lots of those kinds of places are under the table. Maybe ok for your pocketbook, but not for your child

Ps: with the cost of daycare it’s often cheaper to just let one parent quit their job and stay home. Ducked up

[Bouncing Bettys]

^I do recall reading an article a couple years ago about a single mom in Ontario(?) who quit her full time job to go on social assistance because it more affordable than daycare.

If you want to go the unlicensed route, which I believe is allowed up to 2 kids not their own, you can try finding a local facebook parenting group and asking for recommendations.

[Tapioca]

Child care expenses are tax deductible up to 8000 per year.

With our first child, my wife worked 3 days a week and some hours at home, while out first child went to daycare 3 days a week. Does your wife work at an office? She should talk to her boss about finding a part time arrangement. Our part time day care was 865/month (facility and fully licenced), which was almost entirely tax deductible. The value of the tax deduction plus your Canada Child Benefit should be able to pay most, if not, all of your monthly costs for part time daycare. Also, if your wife works part time, she'll make less money and therefore qualify for higher child benefits.

While having a stay at home mom is great in the short term, it ultimately impacts your wife's career prospects. Employers still see gaps in employment as a red flag and unless your wife has a very unique and high demand skill set or network, it may be quite challenging for her to get back to work following a multi year absence. You and your wife need to be strategic here.

With respect to your income, I see working a second job as a last resort. Take a hard look at your budget with your wife and see what expenses you can cut while you're in the toddler raising phase. It's the pinch. Ultimately, if you can't cut more from your budget and you can't downsize or move, you'll need to consider getting a better paying job.

[highfive]

I'm not in the daycare is bad camp. I actually think it helps raise well developed and socialized children who gain a ton of experience interacting and dealing with other people.

I had my son in daycare from 1 to 10 and honestly even if I could go back in time or if my wife was at home full time I would have still sent him to daycare from age 4-10.

It's all about finding the right daycare that works with your child and helps them develop. My son is so far ahead in school, in the challenge program for the last 4 years, grade 7 reading level when he was in grade 5 and is really outgoing QB of his football team, Captain of his Lacrosse team, the alpha always and honestly I credit a lot of this to daycare and his experiences there.

Why 4-10 and not 1-10? Which daycare did your son go to?

[quasi]

Why 4-10 and not 1-10? Which daycare did your son go to?

I don't know how much they learn from 1-3 because their so young which is why if able I'd probably save the money and have them elsewhere. It's also really expensive when their still in diapers.

My son went to Country Bears from age 2-5 and when he went to Kindergarten we switched him to Creative Kids because it was in the school at the time. He had a great experience at both and we like all the different care providers they had.

In the summers we'd mix it up between the daycares and other programs like things at the "Y" or at Scouts they'd have different week long programs that we put him in just to have him try different things and meet new people.

Country Bears | Fully Licensed Childcare Daycare Centers in Abbotsford and Surrey Fraser Valley Through Fraserhealth Authority (http://countrybearschildcare.com/)

http://www.creativekidslearningcenters.ca/

[MG1]

https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/inbrief-science-of-ecd/

https://www.zerotothree.org/espanol/brain-development

Five things to know about early childhood brain development | state of opportunity (http://stateofopportunity.michiganradio.org/post/five-things-know-about-early-childhood-brain-development)



Lots of articles on early childhood brain development...........

emotional development is sooooooo, so important.

[yray]

daycarescene.net

[Indy]

it really depends where you're located too. i'm out in new west and we found a fulltime daycare (m-f 7am-6pm) that had a great feel and my son likes. We started him off just after his 2nd birthday and we paid $950/month and as he moved up to the older groups the cost went down because they could take care of more children per group.

He's now 3.5yrs and we're paying $750/month. he's learning way more social skills than he'd learn just hanging out with my parents all day, and they do teach him stuff like his alphabet, writing his name, themes every month (although he thinks we do remembrance day because soldiers fought poppies....).

If you're able to, it might be worth shopping around and maybe suffering a bit short term until you're able to get your child in a more affordable daycare, if possible.

[The_Situation]

Pm me. I will take care of your child

[fliptuner]

Every day your laundry will be done upon pick up.

#gtl

[mr_chin]

I'm not in the daycare is bad camp. I actually think it helps raise well developed and socialized children who gain a ton of experience interacting and dealing with other people.

I had my son in daycare from 1 to 10 and honestly even if I could go back in time or if my wife was at home full time I would have still sent him to daycare from age 4-10.

It's all about finding the right daycare that works with your child and helps them develop. My son is so far ahead in school, in the challenge program for the last 4 years, grade 7 reading level when he was in grade 5 and is really outgoing QB of his football team, Captain of his Lacrosse team, the alpha always and honestly I credit a lot of this to daycare and his experiences there.

And you thank day care for that?

I'd be like, "it's all in the gene baby".

If you can find a night shift job that pays the same, go with that IMO.

[quasi]

And you thank day care for that?

I'd be like, "it's all in the gene baby".

If you can find a night shift job that pays the same, go with that IMO.

He's an athlete and like my friend who was at one of his games a couple weeks back said to me, where did your kid learn to play like that because I've seen you play and it sure as shit wasn't from you. Are you sure you're the father?

[fliptuner]

And you thank day care for that?

I'd be like, "it's all in the gene baby".

If you can find a night shift job that pays the same, go with that IMO.

Parents working opposing shifts is like raising a kid with joint custody. They won't learn how healthy relationships work if their parents are never together. It would also put a huge strain on intimacy (other than with Jill and Palmela).

[JqC]

Parents working opposing shifts is like raising a kid with joint custody. They won't learn how healthy relationships work if their parents are never together. It would also put a huge strain on intimacy (other than with Jill and Palmela).
Well said. It's hardly ever as simple as making sure dollars and schedules line up.
There's a very real difference between raising kids vs raising a family.

[Badhobz]

I grew up poor in the ghetto east side. My ma worked all day and my dad worked when he could get work. I didnt go through any of that daycare bullshit and I turned out okay. We didnt even have any other support network as all the family is back in shanghai. I think if you have strong core family values, daycare or no daycare, your child will be okay. They'll learn to adapt and thrive based on your living standards and circumstances. Im sure if we had money growing up, it would have been easier, but hell i dont regret it and i had a pretty decent childhood for only 30k combined family income for the first 20 years of my life.

My batshit parents even bought 2 houses with their meager wages and put me through university.

Dont pamper your kids, let them see how hard life is and they'll learn early on that it aint all rosy and money doesnt fall from the sky.

[dark0821]

Its hard to say, but you just have to sit down and really look at your finances...

For me personally, my wife is now full time stay @ home, I am so close to my income bracket that even a "lucky" bonus from work may tip over (haha I know, first world problems right?), but it does mean your universal child care benefit will drop every time you go up a bracket. So it made sense financially to have my wife at home.

And I totally agree with raising up the kid your way than throwing money at someone else.

But to cover the point of social skills...I've sent my daughter to pre-school for 2 hours a day, 4 days a week, most schools just needs your child to be potty trained to quality which for my daughter was 2 years and 7 month. (I think we registered her when she was 18 month?)

You would want to spend as much time with YOUR CHILD as possible. So I want to say you should avoid a second job and only consider it as a last resort. I just work a normal 40 hour week and I already find myself not really spending enough time with my kids.

As mentioned, there is no right answer to something like this, just have to weight out your options.

Cheers

[AzNightmare]

lol, raising a child is so tricky and there's so many variance.

You get one shot, one route, and how they develop can also play a factor on just how the individual child themselves learn and absorb information. I feel there are pros and cons to every method, and any method you look into, you'll find an example of how a kid ended up smart or stupid.

It's really just all theories IMO. There's no formula to obtain the "perfect" child.

[SkunkWorks]

^ So true.

I know a ton of kids who had it all - St. George's, parent-funded university, and still became a loser. While other kids with both parents working minimum wage, eastside school, put themselves through university, and are now doctors, engineers, pharmacists, etc.

End of the day, it's up to you and what you instill into the child as a parent. I'm still a few years out from children but if I were in your shoes, I'd try to spend as much time with my kid as possible.

[Ulic Qel-Droma]

if you can't afford daycare... wouldn't it be wiser just to become a daycare. LOL.

[mr_chin]

if you can't afford daycare... wouldn't it be wiser just to become a daycare. LOL.

If you're reputable, I don't see why not.

[AzNightmare]

If you're reputable, I don't see why not.

lol, some parents aren't suitable to being "daycare" for their own children. Poor kids...