[!Aznboi128]

I think it's about time we have one of these here as we're all growing up (at least some of us) we have little ones running/crawling around let's share some of our best practices and help each other out.

I'm currently looking for a better video monitoring device. Purchased an Angel care (https://www.amazon.ca/Angelcare-Breathing-Monitor-Temperature-Display/dp/B07RDLV2X9/ref=sr_1_5?crid=C66VE9G6LLKE&dchild=1&keywords=angelcare+baby+monitor&qid=1611172887&s=baby&sprefix=angel+care+baby%2Cbaby%2C204&sr=1-5) before my kid was born and now that I'm using it I just find the viewing angle to suck. I have to find a way to mount it far enough away from him to see the entire crib.

[320icar]

Good thread, I was thinking about this lately. My boys 8.5m and when walking around yesterday, I realized he has never seen another baby.

If you were a dog owner and never socialized your puppy or went to the dog park, you’d be a horrible dog owner. So how do you think I feel being a new parent :(

[Traum]

Good thread, I was thinking about this lately. My boys 8.5m and when walking around yesterday, I realized he has never seen another baby.

If you were a dog owner and never socialized your puppy or went to the dog park, you’d be a horrible dog owner. So how do you think I feel being a new parent :(
With the way the pandemic has been, there is very little we can do about that.

My kid has not been going to daycare, and I keep thinking that the little person is just going to turn into an anti-social dumb dumb going forward. FailFish

For Aznboi128, have you considered just moving the crib into your bedroom next to your bed? That's what we ultimately ended up doing, and it was much easier than having to get up, go to the baby's room, try to pacify the little person, and go back to our own room to sleep. I swear these little guys have a 24/7 proximity sensor that triggers the crying / screaming mode as soon as you walk out of his room. But at least that's better than the not-carry-him-anymore sensor... FailFish

[!Aznboi128]

My dog doesn't like other dogs so... it's perfect LOL but I hear ya

We've been letting him nap in his own room lately and its been working well. The wife would like to help build that independence. Besides I don't have much space within the master for his bed lol.

[RCubed]

I think it's about time we have one of these here as we're all growing up (at least some of us) we have little ones running/crawling around let's share some of our best practices and help each other out.

I'm currently looking for a better video monitoring device. Purchased an Angel care (https://www.amazon.ca/Angelcare-Breathing-Monitor-Temperature-Display/dp/B07RDLV2X9/ref=sr_1_5?crid=C66VE9G6LLKE&dchild=1&keywords=angelcare+baby+monitor&qid=1611172887&s=baby&sprefix=angel+care+baby%2Cbaby%2C204&sr=1-5) before my kid was born and now that I'm using it I just find the viewing angle to suck. I have to find a way to mount it far enough away from him to see the entire crib.

We're using this one because vtec yo.
https://www.amazon.ca/VTech-VM3252-2-Digital-Monitor-Automatic/dp/B07DQRN791/ref=sr_1_4?crid=226GV6785U98E&dchild=1&keywords=vtech+baby+monitor&qid=1611189604&s=baby&sprefix=vtec+%2Cbaby%2C232&sr=1-4
It works pretty well, multiple angles so we can see if shes burying her face.

Any suggestions on baby nail clippers? We got a rotary type but its difficult to get into the corners of those little fingers. She keeps scratching her face so we really gotta keep on top of it.

[Traum]

Any suggestions on baby nail clippers? We got a rotary type but its difficult to get into the corners of those little fingers. She keeps scratching her face so we really gotta keep on top of it.
Get or make some baby mittens. It doesn't have to be anything fancy at all. In the simplest form, it can literally be a tiny little rounded soft cloth bag with an elastic sewed around the opening to loosely hold it in place over her hand.

[RCubed]

Get or make some baby mittens. It doesn't have to be anything fancy at all. In the simplest form, it can literally be a tiny little rounded soft cloth bag with an elastic sewed around the opening to loosely hold it in place over her hand.

We have those but shes now starting to suck on her fingers a lot so its gets damp and smelly.

[320icar]

Get or make some baby mittens. It doesn't have to be anything fancy at all. In the simplest form, it can literally be a tiny little rounded soft cloth bag with an elastic sewed around the opening to loosely hold it in place over her hand.

Socks dude, that’s what we use. But he rips them off fast (anything in his hands, he’s good with em) I gotta slip socks on his hands for diaper change time. He knows he has nuts and all he wants to do is grab em lol.

Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

[underscore]

This the monitor we've got, it has a few minor annoyances but overall it's been solid: https://www.londondrugs.com/vtech-digital-video-baby-monitor-with-full-color-and-automatic-night-vision---vm5251/L0219482.html

You can get onsies that have built-in mitts too. Past a certain age they're hard to find but that's because you want their hands free so they can find their thumb.

[!Aznboi128]

We're using this one because vtec yo.
https://www.amazon.ca/VTech-VM3252-2-Digital-Monitor-Automatic/dp/B07DQRN791/ref=sr_1_4?crid=226GV6785U98E&dchild=1&keywords=vtech+baby+monitor&qid=1611189604&s=baby&sprefix=vtec+%2Cbaby%2C232&sr=1-4
It works pretty well, multiple angles so we can see if shes burying her face.

Any suggestions on baby nail clippers? We got a rotary type but its difficult to get into the corners of those little fingers. She keeps scratching her face so we really gotta keep on top of it.

Thanks I'll take a look.
We just got some baby 1st clippers. They work better than the rotary ones so far.


Does anyone use the wifi ones? Was looking into Nanit etc but they seem more money for more crap that one doesn't need.

If there's anyone with newborns, I highly recommend this - https://www.nestedbean.com/products/zen-swaddle-classic
Our son has been sleeping much better with it.
We came from SwaddleMe Luxe (https://www.bedbathandbeyond.ca/store/product/swaddleme-reg-luxe-whisper-quiet-trade-size-0-3m-2-pack-you-39-re-my-sunshine-swaddles-in-white/5450242?keyword=swaddle) so we kinda miss the bottom zipper and silent velcro for easy night time changing

[!Aznboi128]

Has anyone looked into Daycares? I know some are looking before their kid is born so I'm a bit late to the party but just curious what you guys are doing.

[TypeRNammer]

Has anyone looked into Daycares? I know some are looking before their kid is born so I'm a bit late to the party but just curious what you guys are doing.

In terms of day care, they're a pain in the ass when it comes to waiting lists.

I've been on a waiting list at Collingwood Neighborhood House for 3 plus years now and still am.

But I placed mines in a different location from a referral. Little bit more of a distance but at least they're in.

[Gerbs]

When do you guys know when you're ready for kids?

[!Aznboi128]

In terms of day care, they're a pain in the ass when it comes to waiting lists.

I've been on a waiting list at Collingwood Neighborhood House for 3 plus years now and still am.

But I placed mines in a different location from a referral. Little bit more of a distance but at least they're in.

fuckkkkk

When do you guys know when you're ready for kids?

Honestly, you never know. You just do it. I wanted to get married and have a year at least to us before we have kids. Our friends are about the same age and we all kinda decided it's about time.

[Special K]

Great thread. And I think we will probably share the Dad’s perspective given it’s a car forum. Quite interesting for RS to move towards Minivans, getting old, parenting threads.

Baby monitor: Nest cameras + voice bb monitor. It’s been reliable for 3.5 years, and now using it for a 6 month old. We have about 6 indoor nest cameras set up at our place for all areas that kids roam around.

We had 2 motorola video ones and they both broke less than 1 year. Video quality sucked.


Question: what activities you do during Covid to keep toddlers active? We have been going to different playgrounds around town when the weather is nice. Got desparate one time and we took our 3.5 year old to bike in an empty covered parking lot for 45 mins.

[320icar]

When do you guys know when you're ready for kids?

Jesus, I don’t know there is an answer for that. You know, we don’t. You’re bringing a human into this world, so you got to make sure you have your shit in order. And I don’t mean make 100+k a year and own your own home, that has nothing to do with raising a child.

Have a partner you love and trust, have a stable home life that can provide a safe loving environment for a child to flourish. Broken homes often lead to broken people. No one is perfect, *life* isn’t perfect. But you do the best you can and offer everything you have.

[Traum]

Has anyone looked into Daycares? I know some are looking before their kid is born so I'm a bit late to the party but just curious what you guys are doing.
Prevoiusly, at least in all the "good" daycares that my SO told me to register our kid for -- I think I ended up pre-registered at about 6 or 7 places -- getting a spot was exceedingly difficult. We started putting the baby's name down at those day care when my SO was about 6 months pregnant. Well guess what? Not a single one of those places had spots by the time our kid hit 2.5 yrs old, and then she aged out of the infant daycare group.

The 3+ yrs old daycare was much easier, and we got lucky with a new place that has just expanded into a 2nd location. As I understood it, the much greater ease was due to provincial childcare legislations that required a higher care provider to child ratio than the 3+ yrs old daycare.

A number of places that we have previously registered for started calling us back to offer us a spot after our kid turned 2.5. But by then we had already found a place.

But all of that was before COVID hit, and it is a totally different world now. Also, my above experience was also before Horgan / NDP announced their additional childcare support, and things did get at least a bit easier with the NDP expanded childcare support.

I would say that since maybe about May / June 2020, once the daycare places started figuring out what they needed to do to keep operating, it has become significantly easier to put a child into daycare, and this continues to be true right now. Another friend with an under 3 yrs old kid got an offer from one of the places that we waited (in vain) for 3+ years without getting a spot, and it pretty much only took a few days for them to confirm that they had a spot available. When we pulled our child out of daycare since March 2020, between May / June 2020 to maybe about Oct 2020, we were getting more than a few calls from the places we were previously waitlisting on to see whether we'd be interested to put our kid back into daycare with them.

With everything that is happening (and continuing to happen and change), it is probably quite difficult to predict how easy / difficult the daycare situation would become.

[Traum]

When do you guys know when you're ready for kids?
320icar already gave you a terrific reply. I am just going to add that in some cases, it is the female partner approaching that big THIRTY-FIVE psychological / biological magic number that pushes a couple to make a decision on whether they'd still want kids or not.

I have 35+ yrs old friends have been trying, and trying to conceive, be it naturally or through IVF, but it just wouldn't happen. It makes for a sad and difficult situaiton. And then I haven't even start talking about the elevated pregnancy risks -- I really don't want to go there.

I know I would have been a terrible and totally unqualified dad had the baby come in my early 30's. I was too hot tempered and inpatient back then. But the question that I could never answer is -- did I become a dad because I have settled down and matured? or did I settle down and got more mature because I became a dad?

[320icar]

Good point about age. I’m 31, my wife is 41. We tried for over a year and had one miscarriage. Thankfully our successful pregnancy was healthy, though he did come 5 weeks early. Age is less of a factor now since older first time mothers is so common, but from what I experienced on the sidelines is that it will only get harder the older you get.

Definitely not a decision to rush, but age is an important conversation to have especially when the quality of egg/sperm is concerned.

Also, this is a hard thing to talk about but sit down and have a talk with your partner about quality of life choices. There are many in-utero tests that can be done to the fetus to check for future development problems or possible handicaps. It’s important to be on the same page. Are you pro-life 100%, or if you know the fetus will have Down’s syndrome, maybe abortion and trying again is a better option for you and the next 50 years of life. Important talk to have

[underscore]

What do you guys have set up in the event both you & your SO pass away? I'm just changing my life insurance to add kid #2 as a contingent beneficiary but so far that's all that's in place.

[SSM_DC5]

Has anyone looked into Daycares? I know some are looking before their kid is born so I'm a bit late to the party but just curious what you guys are doing.

You don't need daycare. Just commit elderly abuse and dump the kid with your parents. :ilied:

[vash13]

I went the nanny route with my little one after my wife went back to work from mat leave. Best decision ever because we can still continue to have childcare and feel safe since our nanny aligns with the same safety covid 19 protocols.

[Mikoyan]

What do you guys have set up in the event both you & your SO pass away? I'm just changing my life insurance to add kid #2 as a contingent beneficiary but so far that's all that's in place.

Update the will, determine guardianship of the kids, trustee for the family assets. Set up of a trust for the kids of the assets. Your guardian/trustee is typically family, but you want to guarantee your kids are cared for.

[GLOW]

also for guardianship you may want to pick a 2nd or 3rd...
chances are your 1st is the closest family and lets say you're on a big family trip and God forbid just the kids survive...then #2 will have to step up...

all a bit morbid but necessary IMO...

[!Aznboi128]

^ There's so much to think about here. If something was to happen you don't want all of this additional responsibility to be added on to someone. What if they have kids already how can they take care of one more?

[underscore]

I would assume your finances/assets would also go to whoever is caring for the kids? At the very least hopefully life insurance, I set mine so it could pay off the house + cover living expenses until my youngest is in school so whoever has them could take a break from working and care for them full time. You'd also want to check with them ahead of time to make sure they're okay with it before putting them on any paperwork.

We're thinking my inlaws > my parents > my brother and his fiance should be diverse enough? Or should one of them be outside the family? It seems like it'd be pretty difficult for something to take out all 8 of us but not the kids.

[hchang]

When do you guys know when you're ready for kids?

When you failed at your pull out game or the condom breaks.

[320icar]

Anyone on here doing the baby led weening? My wife has been exploring food with our son for the last ~5 weeks. I don’t know the exact program but there’s an order to which foods to try etc.

So far he is big on texture. Usually you give him the mash food first, then the whole product. The only mashed thing he likes is potato, otherwise he doesn’t much like it. The whole foods that he can grab he definitely likes more. Roasted broccoli is his favourite.

[Traum]

I am so glad the wifey took care of that lol~

[Mikoyan]

^ There's so much to think about here. If something was to happen you don't want all of this additional responsibility to be added on to someone. What if they have kids already how can they take care of one more?

Yup. You definitely need to have a serious talk with whomever you decide to have. It's the last thing you can try to control if the worst happens. If you don't make the decision, who will? Executor of the estate? Court? Who would raise your kid they way you would have wanted to? I think we've all known of families that fight over estates and kids etc. You want to make sure your kids are taken care of.

A cousin asked my wife and I to be guardians for their kids. I have 2 young kids. Cousin had more direct family(bros/sisters/parents) on both sides they could have used, but there's other family drama they didn't want to go through. Being a bit vague here, as I know if certain family members found out, they'd be pissed.

I would assume your finances/assets would also go to whoever is caring for the kids? At the very least hopefully life insurance, I set mine so it could pay off the house + cover living expenses until my youngest is in school so whoever has them could take a break from working and care for them full time. You'd also want to check with them ahead of time to make sure they're okay with it before putting them on any paperwork.

We're thinking my inlaws > my parents > my brother and his fiance should be diverse enough? Or should one of them be outside the family? It seems like it'd be pretty difficult for something to take out all 8 of us but not the kids.

Yeah, We set it up before our first kid, but I think most/all? off the assets are in trust to the kids after all the normal estate stuff is handled. You definitely want to use a lawyer for this over a notary to make sure it works out the way you intend to. There's a lot we don't normally know, like the order of spouse/parent/sibling for POA if you want to change the order of who makes decisions for you.

We have my brother and wife's sister as joint/alternates. then inlaws/my parents. You do have to consider that your parents are likely to pre-decease you, and their age, physical, and mental health are a factor too. My kids are grade school aged, so you have to consider how long they'll be caring for the kids. Someone unrelated to you, is really dependant on how close you are with them.

[!Aznboi128]

If anyone is interested I created a playlist for some car seat testing. If anyone is looking to purchase a new vehicle and wants to see how a child seat fits. Got a few cars so far but will be adding every week.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5CQrxhUBQHW8oGrwjBwNuk5yS25AzHrk

Some surprises the Rogue is massive for a "compact" SUV
https://youtu.be/WVoQ7ym8dvY

While the Rav4 is quite a bit smaller
https://youtu.be/Y3f1g_vd7IA

[GLOW]

the thumbnail pose reminds me of chris tucker from rush hour :P
https://openlab.citytech.cuny.edu/chengarth1112fall2015/files/2015/09/tumblr_m2ked2LVfP1qdm3xfo2_250.gif

[!Aznboi128]

I was going for a Jackie chan kinda look but I'll take his brother from another mother.

[Special K]

We upgraded to an X5 because the Clek Fnoof in rear facing mode is huge, and we wanted to be able to use the front passenger seat.

Q5 and X3 are too small

[!Aznboi128]

We upgraded to an X5 because the Clek Fnoof in rear facing mode is huge, and we wanted to be able to use the front passenger seat.

Q5 and X3 are too small
Yea, I can understand I recently got a Foonf just to test how well it fits and so far I put it in the A35, cx30 and Mazda 3 and it's pretty difficult to fit someone in front of it.

[Mikoyan]

If you like the cleks, the fllo is slightly more compact I think. The curved back of it let it juuust fit in the center rear of the wife's rx350. But if you're taller than 5'8" it may not work. It'll definitely limit the front seat adjustment.

The lateral side to side clearance is great though. We have 2 fllos so with kids in right and centre seats, the left seat is usable for an adult passenger.

If you have grandparents that regularly drive the kids, buy extra carseats. They're a PITA to move and readjust all the time.

[TypeRNammer]

If you like the cleks, the fllo is slightly more compact I think. The curved back of it let it juuust fit in the center rear of the wife's rx350. But if you're taller than 5'8" it may not work. It'll definitely limit the front seat adjustment.

The lateral side to side clearance is great though. We have 2 fllos so with kids in right and centre seats, the left seat is usable for an adult passenger.

If you have grandparents that regularly drive the kids, buy extra carseats. They're a PITA to move and readjust all the time.

This is an excellent tip, I myself have a couple of extra car seats.

I have two Diono 3RXT seats and they're an absolute bitch to transfer between cars due to the steel frame construction.

My additional back up seats consist of an Evenflo and a mifold hifold.

I personally like the mifold hifold. It's super compact when it's folded and light too when moving it between multiple cars. Only down side is it's only good for short to moderate trips. My son seems to favor this seat more because he keeps referring to it as a transformer:lawl:

https://www.mifold.ca/common/images/hifold/hifold_open-close.gif

[underscore]

We got extra convertible seats, the click and go we just got 1 since those move around easily

[!Aznboi128]

If you like the cleks, the fllo is slightly more compact I think. The curved back of it let it juuust fit in the center rear of the wife's rx350. But if you're taller than 5'8" it may not work. It'll definitely limit the front seat adjustment.

The lateral side to side clearance is great though. We have 2 fllos so with kids in right and centre seats, the left seat is usable for an adult passenger.

If you have grandparents that regularly drive the kids, buy extra carseats. They're a PITA to move and readjust all the time.
I'm pretty sure the Flo and Foonf are the same when it comes to the shell. it's only the base that differs.

[Mikoyan]

I'm pretty sure the Flo and Foonf are the same when it comes to the shell. it's only the base that differs.

I think the base slides forward and back, and that added a bit of bulk? Anyways, tip for all the parents is to go to a baby store that lets you test fit the model seats in your car.

I have 6 fllos for 2 kids. 2 seats each in the 2 grandparents vehicles. They were ok with leaving them permanently in. The original idea was to have only 2 extra seats to swap between grandparents. Keeping the same brand was good, as the parents don't have to relearn the different seat operations.

[!Aznboi128]

Keep buying Clek, support Canadian brand!

But yea you're right, the Foonf's base can slide where as the Flo you just position the angle you need.

[vash13]

We have a clek and a nuna rava. Your infant and toddler will eventually puke and spill drinks into the car seat. The nuna rava is by far the easiest to remove the covering and can be thrown into the wash. Definitely consider a car seat that is easy to clean because the clek takes hours to remove the coverings because it's not one piece and also multiple tiny plastic crevices that puke chunks stick to.

[Special K]

I'm pretty sure the Flo and Foonf are the same when it comes to the shell. it's only the base that differs.

I got both. Actually, Fnoof x2 and Flo x1. The Fnoof feels safer for rear facing mode because of the rebound bar. Either one, I hated swapping between cars so I just said fk it. Bought extra and resell it later.

What do you guys use to protect your seats? I got a couple of these mats but feel like they will break apart and leave a residual on the leather. Better than a towel for sure though.

https://www.amazon.ca/gp/aw/d/B00BFQ5BM0/ref=ppx_yo_mob_b_inactive_ship_o0_img?ie=UTF8&psc=1

[Special K]

We have a clek and a nuna rava. Your infant and toddler will eventually puke and spill drinks into the car seat. The nuna rava is by far the easiest to remove the covering and can be thrown into the wash. Definitely consider a car seat that is easy to clean because the clek takes hours to remove the coverings because it's not one piece and also multiple tiny plastic crevices that puke chunks stick to.

We have a Mesa for infant seat. It was very easy to take out and threw it into the washer.

Clek’s fabric is waterproof. We usually just wipe down. *knock on wood no explosive poops yet*

[underscore]

We toss a disposable changing pad in the bottom of the car seat to protect against any blowouts. It saved us once on a road trip already.

[320icar]

Not a bad idea. I got a bunch of puppy pads I never used. Same thing

[vash13]

Forgot to mention the Nuna Rava is one of the best for providing the most amount of leg space for the front passenger and also greater weight tolerance for your little one to be rear facing. You want your kid to be rear facing as long as possible for safety.

Not trying to say buy the Nuna Rava but it's worth the price if you can get a deal. Only one down side compared to the Clek is that it is a bit wider therefore not the best comfort if you have 3 passengers in the back for lengthy trips.

[Mikoyan]

Yeah, i had to explain the rear facing thing to the grandparents. They keep wanting to swap the younger one to front facing. My 4 year old is still rear facing. The 6 year old threw a massive 2 hour fit when he was 26 months old one day out of the blue going into the car seat. He was rear facing at the time and never had an issue with it. He just wanted to see where we were going. Really screwed up my plans to keep him rear facing till at least 4.

[EvoFire]

How did I not know about this thread.....

The foonf is huge, and it surprisingly fits in my M3 backwards facing. I think the height and angle of the seats play a big part as well. Just don't try sitting in the front of the M3 if you taller than 6'.

[!Aznboi128]

^ Yea that's huge, some seats are flatter and some have more angle so it can vary the passenger comfort in front of the seat.

I'm VERY surprised it fits in an M3 though, 3-series rear seats are always crampt.

[TypeRNammer]

I think you guys know this already, but if you are ever involved in a car accident, no matter how minor it is, you can claim your car seats through ICBC

My most recent one was a minor fender in a parking lot where I was stationary, the person tried to forward stall park and scraped my rear bumper. Was able to replace 2 Diono RXT's

Over all since my first born until now, I've replaced 5 car seats through ICBC cause of accidents that weren't my fault :heckno:

[!Aznboi128]

so you're the reason why our premiums keep going up.

[TypeRNammer]

For you guys with older toddlers, here's a decent car seat that you could chuck into multiple cars.

Evenflo Chase Car Seat @ Canadian Tire, on sale for $69.99

https://www.canadiantire.ca/en/pdp/evenflo-chase-car-seat-0466266p.0466287.html

[320icar]

As of Tuesday my boy is now crawling around!! He’s been on all fours rocking around for weeks! We thought he’s be crawling by Christmas but he was happy to just roll around everywhere. He already seems happier now, it’s hard to describe but I think he was getting frustrated with knowing he *could* be doing something, but didn’t quite know how to take that first step.

It’s fun being a dad so far

[!Aznboi128]

Dude that's awesome! How old is he? I have no clue when things are suppose to happen LOL

[320icar]

He just turned 9 months. But he was 5 weeks early so his “adjusted age” is just turning 8 months. Because that is confusing as hell I just ignore all of that.

Things will happen when they happen. No need to rush a baby to do things as long as you see progress

[!Aznboi128]

lol I need my kid to start NOW!!!!

[underscore]

I think pretty much every kid is ahead in some things and behind in others. There's a lot to learn when you're new to everything. I have friends that compare to other kids and worry about every little thing which seems nuts to me. Unless my kids doctor is seriously worried about them missing a milestone, I don't worry about it.

[TypeRNammer]

I think pretty much every kid is ahead in some things and behind in others. There's a lot to learn when you're new to everything. I have friends that compare to other kids and worry about every little thing which seems nuts to me. Unless my kids doctor is seriously worried about them missing a milestone, I don't worry about it.

Agreed

Son is about to turn 5 years old, I was concerned about his speech development because it was slower compared to other kids. But now all of a sudden he's trying to negotiate with me with TV time and dinner time

Then there's my daughter that's turned 3 not too long ago and she's a stubborn little princess :lawl:

[EvoFire]

I think pretty much every kid is ahead in some things and behind in others. There's a lot to learn when you're new to everything. I have friends that compare to other kids and worry about every little thing which seems nuts to me. Unless my kids doctor is seriously worried about them missing a milestone, I don't worry about it.

So true.

My son wouldn't self feed until after he hit 1 year old, all his friends were eating by themselves. The 1st time he grabbed a cookie from me and ate it I cried.

On the bright side, I didn't have to worry about him stuffing things he shouldn't into his mouth.

[Great68]

I think it's about time we have one of these here as we're all growing up (at least some of us) we have little ones running/crawling around let's share some of our best practices and help each other out.

I'm currently looking for a better video monitoring device. Purchased an Angel care (https://www.amazon.ca/Angelcare-Breathing-Monitor-Temperature-Display/dp/B07RDLV2X9/ref=sr_1_5?crid=C66VE9G6LLKE&dchild=1&keywords=angelcare+baby+monitor&qid=1611172887&s=baby&sprefix=angel+care+baby%2Cbaby%2C204&sr=1-5) before my kid was born and now that I'm using it I just find the viewing angle to suck. I have to find a way to mount it far enough away from him to see the entire crib.


I'm a little late to this thread, but the absolute BEST baby monitor is Dormi Android app installed on an old phone. For something like $10 it was unlimited use, could install it on any phone you wanted. Could monitor it simultaneously from either one of our phones. Since I have a wifi hotspot in my garage, I could monitor him from there with no range issues. A small phone is much simpler to pack than a whole monitor system with proprietary charger and stuff.
If we went on a trip and forgot his phone, we could just use one of ours as the child device.

When he was still a newborn we set it up on a tripod and used the camera to peek in. Later we just used audio only. The Dormi app boosts the mic gain on the phone and it's sensitive enough that it can pick up even the smallest little movements.

We were handed down one of those AngelCare units with the movement monitoring pad. We never ended up using it and sold it.

I boggles my mind why anyone would spend hundreds of dollars on one of these systems when a simple phone has all the capability built in.

[underscore]

^ security. I'll gladly spend the $100 ours cost to know there's no way the video/audio feed and speaker in my kids room are connected to the internet.

[Great68]

Meh, if you want to be paranoid about that sort of thing. You do you.

But anyways, according to the software notes the monitoring session data is all encrypted:


How secure is Dormi?
All communication (control, audio and video) is encrypted since version 3.0. Session encryption keys are derived from a master key exchanged during the pairing process, unique to each group of paired devices. No other device can decrypt transmitted data.

What encryption algorithms are used?
RSA with 4096 bit* keys is used for the pairing process, during which a secret symmetric master group key is exchanged. The RSA key pair is newly generated by the device after each pairing.
*It takes a few seconds for the RSA key pair to be generated. If the pairing process is started immediately after app installation, before key generation is completed, a 2048 bit key is used instead.

Chacha20 with 256 bit key along with Poly1305 for message authentication is used to secure control channel messages (now standardized as RFC7539). Audio and video data adheres to RFC3711 (Secure-RTP), but we have replaced "AES in Counter Mode" with Chacha20 and Poly1305 as well. These are preferred algorithms used by Google in Chrome on Android for its security and performance on mobile devices.

The master group secret key is salted anew every time a monitoring session is started, resulting in an ever-changing symmetric session key.

What's an "anti-tamper code"?
This code aims to prevent the so called "man in the middle" attack during the pairing process. Accept pairing requests only after validating the code is the same on both devices (the one requesting to join a group as well as the one receiving the request). It ensures the group encryption key is not accidently shared with a malicious party or an attacker.

In more technical terms: the anti-tamper code provides the functionality of the certification authority (CA) in the pairing process (PKI scheme), verifying the communicating parties' public keys.

[!Aznboi128]

Ah I looked into apps before. The problem with using an old phone is the phone generally can't see at night all that well. With out IR blasters most baby monitors will be better.

[Great68]

Yeah I mean sound only was more than adequate, we stopped using video after not too long. The tripod in the middle of the room was an annoyance.

[underscore]

Meh, if you want to be paranoid about that sort of thing. You do you.

But anyways, according to the software notes the monitoring session data is all encrypted:

Is it paranoia if it happens quite frequently? "Secure" systems are accessed all the time, and what most of those monitors use typically isn't very good to begin with.

I'm sure some out there are secure enough and stay that way, but rather than spend a bunch of time researching that and then staying on top of any news to find out if it has been breached (if you even hear about it) it's easier to just grab one that I know can't have those issues.

[Great68]

To what end? Someone wants to hear a bunch of empty dead noise with the occasional rustling and crying?

Big deal.

[GLOW]

pearl jam music ran through my head back when i was shopping for car seats and saw evenflo...

that feeling when you can switch to a booster :fuckyea::victory:

[underscore]

To what end? Someone wants to hear a bunch of empty dead noise with the occasional rustling and crying?

Big deal.

Who knows for sure, but when in doubt, probably wacking off.

[bcrdukes]

Do any of you guy spank / discipline (not beat) your kids?

[!Aznboi128]

kid is only 12 weeks old. I'll give him another week before I start.

[winson604]

Do any of you guy spank / discipline (not beat) your kids?

I will neither confirm or deny I've done that.

[bcrdukes]

Sorry, I should have rephrased the question as I realized disciplining children is a touchy subject, especially when I asked if you spank/beat them lol

What I really meant to ask is, what are your feelings towards disciplining children? Growing up, we got the usual spanking or whipping from the famous Chinese feather duster if we misbehaved, and that often set us straight. There are a tonne of memes out there but I think a majority of us can relate.

As a kid, I resented my parents for beating my stupid ass, but now that I'm older, I'm glad they did because if they hadn't, I likely would have turned out to be a total shit head (and likely not posting on this forum.)

Any how, I'm not looking to out any parents here, but trying to get an idea of what your thoughts are on disciplining kids these days.

[Bonka]

I believe in it, although I am probably the only one among my peers including my wife.

It really does depend on a lot of factors like the personality of the child, reasons that warrant spanking, timing, age, frequency. To clarify, I mean spanking and NOT beating. I think some kids respond positively to spanking while with others it will create serious negative psychological effects. For the right kid, it should be an option (really as a last resort) and for outright defiance after forewarning.

Both my wife and I were spanked as children and with the usual implements - flip flops, sticks, kitchen utensils, Hot Wheels track, etc. We both reflect back on it differently. I, like Dukes think it set me straight while my wife believes it impacted her confidence and inability to speak up presently.

One thing is for sure, both our parents deny having spanked us. At most they will down play the "instances". Typical.

[320icar]

My brother and I never had a finger laid on us, but to be fair we were pretty good kids. The older I get I realize how unnaturally drama-free my family and extended family is.

I think using spanking for regular discipline isn’t necessary, but that’s just the way I grew up. I don’t know how my boy will be, I don’t know who I will be in a few years, who knows what stuff he might get in to. Sometimes a boy needs the reset button hit (the back of the head) to smarten up.

In other news, my boy last night started pulling himself up and standing on his own. Exciting!! Now that he crawls around he has no interest in his toys, he just wants to explore and be held

[bcrdukes]

Both my wife and I were spanked as children and with the usual implements - flip flops, sticks, kitchen utensils, Hot Wheels track, etc. We both reflect back on it differently. I, like Dukes think it set me straight while my wife believes it impacted her confidence and inability to speak up presently.

One thing is for sure, both our parents deny having spanked us. At most they will down play the "instances". Typical.

This is tough for me to admit, but hope some of you guys can relate (sorry non-Asian friends.) Growing up, I didn't believe or care in speaking Cantonese despite being sent to Chinese school. I only grew up speaking mainly English and my dad and I would get into squabbles, and he would say things like "Are you even Chinese?" or the best Asian dad line, ""THIS IS NOT A HOTEL!" We had our fair share of growing pains, and as I mentioned in my previous post, had my parents not kicked my punk ass and set me straight, God knows where I would have ended up (probably 6-feet under or in jail, to be honest.)

After visiting Asia a few times and really enjoying my experiences there, I subscribed to TVB Anywhere and began watching a lot of the old TVB dramas from the 90s and 2000s. I noticed a lot of the dramas featured various methods of Asian parent discipline from yelling, to coddling to spanking, whack with a feather duster etc. It bought back a lot of childhood memories, both good and bad haha

Any how, my significant other and I aren't getting any younger and there is a possibility that having kids is in our future but perhaps not even a possibility. I often wonder if I would even be a good father (probably not lol) and whether I need a feather duster hidden throughout the house to administer a whipping or not. Flip flops, plastic sticks, feather dusters, the infamous Hot Wheels tracks and whatnot. Damn. I'm not even a parent and already I'm thinking it's tough. :failed: Some of my cousins now have kids and some of them can be real pricks and I wonder if my cousins give them a beating or not, but I came to realize they don't, and it's not my place to do or say anything, but deep down inside, I want to smack the kid on across the head to smarten up and give them a good shake and ask them WTF is wrong with them.

[EvoFire]

Do any of you guy spank / discipline (not beat) your kids?

Too young to tell right now, I'll report back when he's older. We are leaning towards not doing it.

I was spanked as a kid and I resented my parents for it, and I've been spanked for no reason at least once or twice (at least in my opinion there was no reason)

My dad also did this thing where he withheld things that I wanted or mattered to me as punishment, sometimes for absolutely asinine reasons. That really did nothing to me as I just found something else to do, and whatever goods it was ended up not used until it was out of date or I was no longer interested.

[EvoFire]

I believe in it, although I am probably the only one among my peers including my wife.

It really does depend on a lot of factors like the personality of the child, reasons that warrant spanking, timing, age, frequency. To clarify, I mean spanking and NOT beating. I think some kids respond positively to spanking while with others it will create serious negative psychological effects. For the right kid, it should be an option (really as a last resort) and for outright defiance after forewarning.

Both my wife and I were spanked as children and with the usual implements - flip flops, sticks, kitchen utensils, Hot Wheels track, etc. We both reflect back on it differently. I, like Dukes think it set me straight while my wife believes it impacted her confidence and inability to speak up presently.

One thing is for sure, both our parents deny having spanked us. At most they will down play the "instances". Typical.

WTF hotwheels tracks? Damn you had a sweet childhood.

But seriously... aren't hotwheels tracks just flappy plastic?

I don't think it set me straight, as whatever that was disciplined on can't be smacked into me, really just made me resent it more and not want to do it. Scaring me with pain into agreeing doesn't make me actually agree.

Blabbering now, but I don't think it made a difference to me. Really only thing that made a difference was Chinese as a language was beat into me. That I appreciate, but not until I was a little older.


I want my kid to learn Chinese, but so far I haven't figured out a way to do it where he won't resent or hate it. Doesn't help that we don't speak it at home, and I'm canto while my wife is mando/shanghainese.

[underscore]

I think enough kids that don't get smacked turn out just fine so I doubt there's much benefit (if any). I think how it's employed would be a factor too, if you just jump to smacking your kid without even explaining anything to them I doubt they're going to learn much and imo it's just lazy on the parents part. Similarly how it's done, grabbing a duster or la chancla instead of just using your hand seems...excessive.

[bcrdukes]

I'm probably wrong, but I think the way where your child won't resent you is exposure to the language and culture. It's not easy to do now but when it's safe to, spend some time in HK/Macau or in Southern China where they speak the language.

Ever since coming back from my travels to Asia, I realized I was forced to speak and read (what little I could) and when I came back, I've only ever been watching TVB dramas since, and making it a point to read the Chinese menu when ordering takeout at a restaurant.

Seeing as your wife is Mandarin-speaking/Shanghainese, you'll have to juggle that with her on what you want to teach your kid; My uncle is exactly like you (Mandarin-speaking /Shanghainese wife) and they didn't agree on any sort of regimen. Kid only speaks English. #AsianFail

[EvoFire]

I'm probably wrong, but I think the way where your child won't resent you is exposure to the language and culture. It's not easy to do now but when it's safe to, spend some time in HK/Macau or in Southern China where they speak the language.

Ever since coming back from my travels to Asia, I realized I was forced to speak and read (what little I could) and when I came back, I've only ever been watching TVB dramas since, and making it a point to read the Chinese menu when ordering takeout at a restaurant.

Seeing as your wife is Mandarin-speaking/Shanghainese, you'll have to juggle that with her on what you want to teach your kid; My uncle is exactly like you (Mandarin-speaking /Shanghainese wife) and they didn't agree on any sort of regimen. Kid only speaks English. #AsianFail

I haven't been able to come up with anything concrete. Really the only thing I can think of is IF he likes chinese food, and we take him to some chinese only places, it would entice him to want to learn to read it.

I guess we'll see how he grows up. When I was a kid there were so many canto speakers in school in some districts that you were peer pressured into at least understanding and speaking some. Nowadays I'm not sure that's the case anymore.

[Bonka]

WTF hotwheels tracks? Damn you had a sweet childhood.

But seriously... aren't hotwheels tracks just flappy plastic?

I don't think it set me straight, as whatever that was disciplined on can't be smacked into me, really just made me resent it more and not want to do it. Scaring me with pain into agreeing doesn't make me actually agree.

Blabbering now, but I don't think it made a difference to me. Really only thing that made a difference was Chinese as a language was beat into me. That I appreciate, but not until I was a little older.


I want my kid to learn Chinese, but so far I haven't figured out a way to do it where he won't resent or hate it. Doesn't help that we don't speak it at home, and I'm canto while my wife is mando/shanghainese.

LOL after re-reading what I wrote I should clarify that I wasn't hit all that much as a kid and my childhood overall was great outside of the typical boomer Asian "lack-of-affection" shown by my parents (mostly to each other but carrying over to us kids).

With language, same issue here but I think to be pro-active just start speaking to your child in your native tongue - at least this gets them to understand the language even if they respond in English. English they will pick up, if not from home at school for sure unless they somehow manage to be in a group of friends who speak their native tongue.

[Mr.Money]

i'm glad i got my ass beat for mouthing off to my parents acting like an adult who owns everything in the house and gets what he wants...trying to control them in anger.


you're creating a monster in that sense if you let that fly in the radar.



people say it was a different era but respect is respect and if you keep breaking shit inside the house with no actions....Really who are you training right now?

[Traum]

I don't believe in using physical means to discipline a child, although I would say physically (and personally) restraining the child when he is throwing a tantrum is acceptable and something I have done. At the end of the day, the goals I am trying to achieve are:

1) stop the child from doing whatever unacceptable thing he was doing at that moment
2) ensure that the child won't do that unacceptable thing again, or at least, make him realize that the behaviour is unacceptable

With my kid, the problem is, if I were to come on too strong in stopping him from doing that unacceptable thing, he would get scared / freak out. And at that point, his brain just shuts down and nothing is gonna get through to him. So certainly I would have immediately stopped the undesirable behaviour right at that moment, but he would not have learned any lessons from the incident at all. If anything, he would only have negative emotions and memories associated with the whole incident, and I do not think that is helpful at all.

Instead, I mostly just talk to him in a plain tone, telling him that what he is doing is not acceptable. If necessary, I will physically stop him from doing whatever he was doing. Since he isn't getting freaked out, I can explain to him what the behaviour is unacceptable. It is likely that he won't have the self restraint to not do it again the next time, but when I repeat the same thing to him when it happens again, after a couple of tries, it will sink in. Quite often, he will remember that this was something he has been told not to do before, and he will stop doing it as soon as I mention it. Additionally, because I mostly try to use the same plain tone to tell him to stop, it has gotten to the point where he knows he did something he shouldn't when I use that tone.

The absolute worst thing that can happen when I am disciplining my child is -- the grandparents do something to sabotage my efforts. They generally know better than to try and harbour the misbehaving child -- I think that has only happened a handful of times, and each time it happened, I gave a stern talk to the uncooperative granny. The thing that totally boils me up is, when my kid does something naughty / he is not supposed to do, the grandparent(s) laugh at the undesirable behaviour. Laughing like that as a response is a reward to the child, and it will only serve to encourage him to do that thing some more (in the anticipation of getting rewarded for the bahviour again). That sort of undesireable reward can undo a long string of behavioural training, and to have a grandparent do that, it just pisses me off...
FailFish

[320icar]

@evofire there is an amazing trick for bilingual households for teaching both languages. There’s different variations, but an easy one to start with is (because this is Canada I’ll use this example) have yourself ONLY speak English while at home, This includes to your child and your wife. But your wife will ONLY speak French to you and your child. Young brains are like sponges and they will leave very quickly which language to use with which parent and learn both At the same time. (Side note our friend did this with their child (Portuguese iirc and English, worked very well but was funny sometimes when they’d forget the English word and use the other language for like cracker or cup or something)

Alternatively, ONLY French at home, then ONLY English when out of the house. You get what I mean

[Special K]

I was spanked as a child until probably 10-12 years old. Not sure if it worked but I did stop whatever I was doing. As I grew older and bigger, the sticks would break and I’m like hell yeah give it to me!

As a parent now, we don’t spank our daughter. Quiet time usually does the trick. I did raise my voice and yell but quickly learned that didn’t work because it’s like a mirror. She does the same back to me, and more intense. My wife has the patience to remind our daughter to be nice and kind to people every time my toddler throws a tantrum. Amazing.

[!Aznboi128]

^ That's awesome!

Mine can now roll over during tummy time. Both my wife and I are like "Okay Oliver Roll over! Roll over" Dog's on the side doing it but doesn't get any attention :(

[winson604]

LOL after re-reading what I wrote I should clarify that I wasn't hit all that much as a kid and my childhood overall was great outside of the typical boomer Asian "lack-of-affection" shown by my parents (mostly to each other but carrying over to us kids).

With language, same issue here but I think to be pro-active just start speaking to your child in your native tongue - at least this gets them to understand the language even if they respond in English. English they will pick up, if not from home at school for sure unless they somehow manage to be in a group of friends who speak their native tongue.

We went with this model with our first child who's now 6. We focused heavy on Canto early on because we already knew English will come no matter what once he goes to school and for the first few years he was amazing. Mostly speaking Canto and all then pre school happened and it slowly went down hill. To add to that another big thing that happened was around the same time we moved out from the in laws so we lost consistent Canto speaking in the house. The wife and I will bust it out but it isn't the same as the inlaws because it still isn't our first go to in the house. Recently I've been trying to sneak canto back in again but he's pretty rusty and now he's starting to not want to speak it because he's kind of embarrassed or something sigh

[GGnoRE]

What are your expectations for your child learning foreign languages? Growing up, I can't recall meeting any cbc's that spoke their parents' mother tongue fluently. The best I've seen is basic conversational level with an accent but not fluent enough to work in non-English speaking firms in China or HK. Unless you're sending your kid abroad on an exchange or your kid is really committed to learning the language, I think the ceiling is pretty limited realistically speaking.

[bcrdukes]

Asian parents obviously wouldn't want to settle for anything less than 110% expectation and A+++ with all the extra marks. :troll:

Joking aside, you are right in that the ceiling here is limited. Even when exploring career opportunities overseas, not speaking the language fluently has limited my options to MNCs who operate only in English. A few of the kids I grew up with would spend their summers with their grandparents or family members in HK so they came back fluent, go down hill again, and ramp back up after the summer lol

[winson604]

What are your expectations for your child learning foreign languages? Growing up, I can't recall meeting any cbc's that spoke their parents' mother tongue fluently. The best I've seen is basic conversational level with an accent but not fluent enough to work in non-English speaking firms in China or HK. Unless you're sending your kid abroad on an exchange or your kid is really committed to learning the language, I think the ceiling is pretty limited realistically speaking.

I expect them to be on my wife and I's level. I'm the exception to what you think, out of all my CBC friends i'm probably one of the most fluent speaking ones. My parents only spoke to use in Canto growing up, i watched a ton of Canto TV growing up as well which helped. THe biggest driver though was I went to Churchill in the 90's during the big Hong Kong immigrant boom. So I had a ton of CBC and Honger friends so was able to speak a lot of Canto. It was also the rise of Richmond as a mini Hong Kong during my High School years and it was the new place to hang so naturally that was another place where I got to use it a lot.

[supafamous]

What are your expectations for your child learning foreign languages? Growing up, I can't recall meeting any cbc's that spoke their parents' mother tongue fluently. The best I've seen is basic conversational level with an accent but not fluent enough to work in non-English speaking firms in China or HK. Unless you're sending your kid abroad on an exchange or your kid is really committed to learning the language, I think the ceiling is pretty limited realistically speaking.

My in-laws speak pretty minimal English and my parents prefer to speak in Cantonese so I'm expecting my kid to speak it at least reasonably well (at least as well I speak it and hopefully closer to my wife who came here when she was 6). It's a bit tough with the pandemic as we're mostly limited to FaceTime calls but all the grandparents speak to my daughter in Cantonese (she's 2) and she does understand the basics so far.

My hope is that more time with the grandparents along with entry into a Mandarin immersion school (we live very close to one) will help her pick up a couple languages.

Realistically to be truly fluent in 2nd languages you have to be in a community where people it regularly so time in Asia is the best bet or I find her a job working in a HK cafe some day.

[320icar]

FML. He’s 10 months today and has his four front teeth. Yesterday he started grinding them. Everything online says if he’s not in obvious pain it’s fine and he’ll grow out of it.

I CANT STAND THAT NOISE holy fûck.

Other than that he’s great. Almost free-standing up by himself and will take steps forward if you hold his hands

[!Aznboi128]

Everyone keeps telling me it gets easier, everything that I keep learning says otherwise.

[EvoFire]

FML. He’s 10 months today and has his four front teeth. Yesterday he started grinding them. Everything online says if he’s not in obvious pain it’s fine and he’ll grow out of it.

I CANT STAND THAT NOISE holy fûck.

Other than that he’s great. Almost free-standing up by himself and will take steps forward if you hold his hands

I feel your pain. My little one grinded his teeth for a bit and it grinds me gears when he does it.

He's been wanting to be put in the X3 instead of the M3. There goes the hope of a future enthusiast.

[Traum]

FML. He’s 10 months today and has his four front teeth. Yesterday he started grinding them. Everything online says if he’s not in obvious pain it’s fine and he’ll grow out of it.

I CANT STAND THAT NOISE holy fûck.

Will he still take a pacifier that you give him when he starts to grind his teeth?

[320icar]

He’s never been much for a pacifier except for when he was a newborn. He has some chew toys he likes, but he grinds randomly. The sound pushes me into the red immediately so I need to think of a ‘correction’ for every time he does it or something.

[!Aznboi128]

If you guys don't already know Costco has a pretty big sale on baby stuff at the moment. Diapers, formula etc

[inv4zn]

Damn, a little late to the party as well but I'm joining in too!

Our (only) little girl is almost 1 in a few weeks, and it's been an absolute blur. She has 8 teeth, had them almost since 9 months, and has recently started chewing on the side of the crib in protest when she doesn't want to sleep. She's currently going through a sleep regression so it's hard.

She started signing things, and a few days ago started to grasp the concept of pointing, although it's mostly just waving her finger around. She walks assisted, but can't/won't try anything past that.

She's super good at using her thumb and index finger to pick the foods she likes best off her plate, although she'll eat the rest. The dexterity is kinda annoying though because she's also super good at finding the smallest piece of lint/hair/crap and immediately into her mouth.

[320icar]

I relate to your entire post man. Our boy is just about the same place. Amazing pincher-grasp but just like you said, all the pet hair that collects is quickly picked up lol.

@traum he’s already stopped grinding his teeth. Seems like he only did it for ~48h thank god

[supafamous]

Everyone keeps telling me it gets easier, everything that I keep learning says otherwise.

The first 9-10 months were total hell for my wife and I - it wasn't till we successfully sleep trained (3 attempts) our monster that things got better. Prior to that I slept in the guest room for 8 months and my wife and I would take turns with her at night as she woke every 2-2.5 hours. I still have PTSD from it as I'm not able to sleep a full 8 hours anymore without waking - I have to block off 9-10 hours in order to get 8 hours.

Now she's about to hit 2 years and while she's still a lot of work she's also a huge amount of fun. She's the best (except when I have to spend the entire day with her) and I only occasionally think about leaving her at a fire hall.

[underscore]

Our first had a bunch of minor issues that made her a nightmare sleeper til we got her sleep trained at 8 months. Even that wasn't easy since they have different expectations for mom vs dad so I had to keep running home from work to put her down for a nap which was an annoying couple of weeks, but it was qorth it because ever since she sleeps 12 hrs a night and if she does wake up she just quietly goofs around in her crib. I guess that's to even out the hell the first 8 months were lol, but now that she's approaching 3 she's started stalling any time we need her to do anything.

Kid #2 has no medical issues that we've found yet, she just hates to go to sleep. She goes full on Super Saiyan every damn time we turn out the lights and absolutely nothing calms her down, we just have to wait til she's done and go from there. Fucking exhausting.

The thing I keep in the back of my head is that each challenge is only temporary. You get new ones at each stage, but at least when one is hell I know it's not permanent and I just need to survive til it ends.

[inv4zn]

Sleep training is huge, but as is with everything with kids it's truly YMMV. We had ours riight on the verge of being sleep trained around 6 months, and then there was that big heat wave in the summer and we all slept in the living room with the A/C for a few weeks, so all the effort went into the shitter.

Now about 90% of the time she sleeps ~11 hours-ish, but she's been waking up earlier and earlier (friggin 5:55am today), I think because the sun rises earlier. We have blackout curtains, but she just seems to know.

Something I always tell myself is no matter how hard and frustrating it is right now, it's going to be incomparable to when she inevitably calls me when she's 17 saying how she drove the car into a ditch.

[inv4zn]

Found this :lawl:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noW4rnDl30E&feature=youtu.be

[Zedbra]

He’s never been much for a pacifier except for when he was a newborn. He has some chew toys he likes, but he grinds randomly. The sound pushes me into the red immediately so I need to think of a ‘correction’ for every time he does it or something.

Both of our sons never liked a pacifier as well; instead, we would buy the bulk packs of children's toothbrushes to let them chew. They quite liked the plastic for teething and the softer brushes if there was sensitivity from the tooth breaking skin. If they drop it or clean the floor with it - toss it and give them another toothbrush.

As for spanking, I have spanked my children. Between the two of them (now 12 and 10) a total of 7 times. Prior to the spankings, I gave them a choice to either say they were sorry for their misbehaviour or to get spanked. They chose to not say they were sorry, and therefore chose to get spanked. They learned real quick to be polite and how to consider better choices in life thereafter.

We had a rule when going to the store that they had to keep within arm's reach of the shopping buggy at all times. One time, we were entering Walmart to grab a few items and they were both being rowdy towards one another, eventually the oldest pushed his brother to the ground right as we got into the store, making the little one cry. Without raising my voice, I told him to behave appropriately, and say he was sorry to his brother. His reply" I'm not saying sorry". I gave him the option to either say he was sorry or I would spank him right here and now. His reply, "you aren't going to spank me in front of these people". One good rap on the butt, now I had two crying children, but they never left the buggy out of arms reach and always behaved in any store we went into; we received many compliments over the years for their courtesy and manners.

TL/DR - spanking I believe has been useful, moreso because the choice was our childrens' to do the right thing or receive that punishment.

[EvoFire]

Feels like I have an angel on my hands reading your stories.

We never co-slept. He slept in his own room starting at 5 1/2 months old. Didn't need to sleep train. The worst was just him relying on the pacifier and whenever it fell out he would wake and cry. We weaned the paci after 3 days and he was good.

Lately he's hitting what they call "18 month sleep regression" and he also doesn't like going to bed anymore. Can take awhile to fall asleep and only sleeps for about 10 hours now at night. Otherwise seems to be fine.

Clingy as all hell though. Going through separation anxiety it seems as well. Starting daycare was interesting....

[RiceIntegraRS]

Lately he's hitting what they call "18 month sleep regression" and he also doesn't like going to bed anymore. Can take awhile to fall asleep and only sleeps for about 10 hours now at night. Otherwise seems to be fine.


10 hours a night? thats my best case scenario! my kid sleeps about 7hrs wakes up and wants to a bottle or sleep in my bed, and then sleep an additional 3-4 hrs. I think all my friends kids wake up atleast 1-3 times a night.

Taking care of my kid full time has been very very challenging but rewarding at the end of the day. I do have a new found respect for any stay at home parent taking care of their kid fulltime on their own.

[EvoFire]

Do any one of you have a left handed kid but both parents are right handed?

I feel like we are potentially staring at this scenario as my son mainly uses his left hand for most things. Occasionally he'll use his right hand.
I'm a little anxious about having to teach him how to hold chopsticks or write because I'm not sure how a RH person can teach a left hand person.

Side note, my wife thinks I might have been left handed and had the left handedness beaten out of me because it was unwanted in old school Asian culture.

[320icar]

My wife and I are both right handed, but both our fathers are left handed. As of now Ethan seems to be pretty ambidextrous, it seems to change day by day. Watching him pinch and pick up peas and Cheerios etc one day he’ll only use his left. Two days later he’ll only do his right...

[snowball]

Do any one of you have a left handed kid but both parents are right handed?

I feel like we are potentially staring at this scenario as my son mainly uses his left hand for most things. Occasionally he'll use his right hand.
I'm a little anxious about having to teach him how to hold chopsticks or write because I'm not sure how a RH person can teach a left hand person.

Side note, my wife thinks I might have been left handed and had the left handedness beaten out of me because it was unwanted in old school Asian culture.

I coach and i find teaching left handed people easier. They just face you and mirror you instead of learning side to side.

He'll figure it out with practice anyway. Left-handers are also disproportionately high achievers in sports, time to rake in the dough. EleGiggle

[EvoFire]

I coach and i find teaching left handed people easier. They just face you and mirror you instead of learning side to side.

He'll figure it out with practice anyway. Left-handers are also disproportionately high achievers in sports, time to rake in the dough. EleGiggle

I hope that's the case haha. Time to plan my billionaire retirement on the back on my son.

We are also curious where he got that from because none of the grandparents are left-handed, though we can't guarantee it wasn't beaten out of them either.

At the great grandparents level it's a little murky.

[TypeRNammer]

Do any one of you have a left handed kid but both parents are right handed?

I feel like we are potentially staring at this scenario as my son mainly uses his left hand for most things. Occasionally he'll use his right hand.
I'm a little anxious about having to teach him how to hold chopsticks or write because I'm not sure how a RH person can teach a left hand person.

Side note, my wife thinks I might have been left handed and had the left handedness beaten out of me because it was unwanted in old school Asian culture.

Over here

Both me and the wifey, along with my daughter are right handed but my son is left handed.

Writes and draws with his left hand, but when it comes to utensils, he uses his right hand.

Don't feel too anxious when it comes to teaching how to write or using utensils, it will come naturally or just go with the flow.

[xxxrsxxx]

When do you start looking into daycare? I heard the waitlist are long. Planning to start when kid turns 1. Any recommendations in east van?

[TypeRNammer]

When do you start looking into daycare? I heard the waitlist are long. Planning to start when kid turns 1. Any recommendations in east van?

You gotta start way earlier than that if you want a spot in day care.

For example, when my son was about a year old, we had him on the waitlist for Collingwood. Now it's completely pointless cause he'll be going to kindergarten this year :lawl:

[!Aznboi128]

God damn, no way.

[TypeRNammer]

God damn, no way.

I believe it's just an East Van thing when it comes to waitlists

So I ended up putting them into a Richmond daycare.

One of my friends who also lives in East Van also ended up putting her kid in Richmond also due to wait list.

[Traum]

When do you start looking into daycare? I heard the waitlist are long. Planning to start when kid turns 1. Any recommendations in east van?
You're already too late. I put my kid's name down at 6 months pregnant before we even had a name for him (because we didn't know whether it'll be a boy or a girl yet), and we still didn't get into any of the busy ones like Collingwood Neighbourhood House by the time she turned 3. None.

Having said that, the pandemic has completely changed the game with lots of parents pulling their children out of daycare, so the daycare places were desperate at one point. I'm not sure how things are right now, but try your luck asap and see what you get.

[xxxrsxxx]

Thanks for the info guys. Just took a quick look at collingwood, it’s $300/month full time? Is that right? Looking at other places, it’s around $1500.

I also noticed there are “family” run ones vs “companies” (kid and co.). What are your suggestions and/or experiences with the two?

[inv4zn]

I can comment a bit because my wife worked at a daycare before mat leave. A non-profit one, as this is quite important.

Full disclosure, our kid isn't in one yet, so all this is anecdotal from my wife, and what I feel is safe to share. It's also a more broad outlook from a third-party, and not specific to what they do at this, or any daycare.

The wife is strongly against 'franchised' daycares, or anything that include an 'educational' aspect, ie. Montessory, CEFA, etc. While cultural upbringings of the parents may dictate what sort of program they see as 'better', according to the wife and everything she's studied kids just need to be kids. There's no benefit to having structure or organized schedules for a child that young, they just need to do whatever. I tend to agree.

Also, the interaction between the daycare centre and you as the parent will vary greatly on how you're perceived by the daycare. It's all professional of course, but the parents that complain about the teachers, or the daycare, are generally because the parents are dicks. Just be nice, and educate yourselves on what is really best for the child, as that shows through in the kid very easily. An example is a mother who sent her 3 year old to daycare everyday with chocolate milk. When the centre told her to stop because it's not healthy she said 'but that's all he drinks at home.' Needless to say the kid is a brat at the centre, and the teachers have little kind things to say about the mom. Another is a child that refuses to go out when it's raining when all the other kids are outside in muddy buddies. His parents just coddle him and he cries when he has to go out when it's raining. Stuff like this.

That said, even in my wife's centre, there are some 'teachers' who are doing it just because ECE is easy, and they really don't care-care about the kids. You can tell them apart quite easily with how they interact with the children - I could pick them out without my wife telling me.

Going back to the first topic, for-profit or private daycares will have nicer things inside, but that may not be the best for the child. You really need to look at how the kids are treated and cared for, and if the teachers look like they genuinely care about your child. Do the kids look like they also like the teachers, or are they scared of them? But also stay the hell away from unlicensed basement centers. Not only are they illegal, they lack insurance and any proper procedures.

Lastly just remember that the job itself is both physically and mentally taxing. Everyone knows it's a struggle looking after a toddler, imagine having to look after 4 all day. Minor injuries will happen. Some kid will bite another, maybe yours. Be reasonable and don't take it out on the teachers, please. Mistakes are not gross negligence.

Lastly for the love of God please don't bring a child in if they're sick, or showing signs.

[stanton]

Thanks for the info guys. Just took a quick look at collingwood, it’s $300/month full time? Is that right? Looking at other places, it’s around $1500.

I also noticed there are “family” run ones vs “companies” (kid and co.). What are your suggestions and/or experiences with the two?

There is also a third option, "not for profit" community run ones. I am on the board for one here on the island and it is very eye opening. There are many grants available to help bring down the costs of childcare based on income levels, so yeah some people get $300/ month rate but they are lower income, most families are averaging in the $500 - $700 per child per month. It takes a great leadership group to consistently get the funding year after year so if they don't get a grant the costs can go up. Another advantage is that we are required to hire ECE's that are trained and certified and have to maintain a minimum ratio of 1 ECE per 3 kids for 3yo's and above and a 1 ECE per 2 toddlers. There is no incentive for us to try and "maximize profits" and run with lower number of ECE's.

If you have any specific questions just pm me.

[EvoFire]

We had put in spots in waitlists the moment we knew we were pregnant. Then Covid happened and threw everything out the window.

So many parents pulled kids out of daycares that some daycares were scrambling to fill spots. It went from worrying about having to shove him wherever that had space to having some choice by us as parents on where to send him.

There are the more expensive "business-y" ones that advertise schedules, and lessons, and also you pay more for extra-curricular stuff. At the end we decided our kid at 18 months old, really isn't going to benefit from those. A friend of ours sent her kid to one of those and she says she watches the cams and her son just derps off and does whatever when these "special" lessons are taught. They really aren't benefitting from it. The only big upside is they catered lunch so you don't have to think about it. Is it worth the extra $500-800 a month is up to you.

One more thing we noticed with our kid is, the fancy toys don't make too big of a difference. I've always said having a cat is like having a 2 year old. They hear you, whether if they listen or respond is another story. I've added one more thing to that, they can have the most fun with the most ridiculously worthless things. Clicking bottle caps? Awesome. Ball of paper to throw and bat around? Great. Kind of defeats the point of the $2000/m daycare with their fancy toys.

[Great68]

Yeah we've had pretty crazy daycare experience with my son. He's been through a few. It's been on of the biggest stressors, bar none, it fucking sucked.

My kid's first daycare when he was a licensed home daycare just down the road from my wife's work. We thought this worked out pretty good, he seemed happy there and things were going well. He was in this daycare for about 9 months when out of the blue the operator said she was terminating his care with one month notice. (We think it was to make space for a sibling pair which would have given her an extra care spot on her license).

So that left us scrambling to find something. For next 3 months he bounced around a couple different temporary daycare spots as they were available, as well as having each grandma come over for a couple weeks to look after him.

We finally found a spot with an LNR daycare, which had 2 of her own kids plus one other in a home basement suite. Not an ideal choice but we were pretty desperate at that point. The caregiver actually separated with her husband during my son's stay there, she never told us outright but we started noticing that he wasn't around in the mornings/afternoons anymore. I can only hope they kept any that crap away and separate while she was caring for my kid.

Anyways we pulled him after 8 months when my wife found a spot with another licensed home daycare out close to her work again. This place and the lady running it turned out to be fantastic. Structured, lots of activities (lots of outdoors time), my kid was so happy there (he asks about that place and if he can ever go back). Unfortunately he was only there for 2 months before COVID hit and she closed down.

Not the end of the world as we both started working from home for the next few months and could have him at home with us. When we started hearing other daycares re-opening and/or other kids starting to go back we kept asking if she was going to re-open but she never did.

As luck would have it, we got a call from a daycare where we were on the waiting list since the time we were scrambling after the first daycare. It's a non-profit, community run, 16 kid daycare that's only a few blocks from my house. It's been great, he's been happy, and it turns out that many of those kids live in the neighbourhood as well and will be in the same school catchment when he goes to kindergarten.

[320icar]

This is where I think universal base income would be amazing. Afford one parent to stay home and actually raise your own children. Avoid this whole toxic battling for insanely expensive daycare stuff

[inv4zn]

So our little sh..princess has recently started making herself throw up by sticking fingers in her mouth. Second time in 4 days she's done this.

The internet says it's her seeking attention, which may be true because both times she's done it while left in a playpen while her mom was in the washroom, but does anybody have experience with what can be done to stop this?

[320icar]

My coworker and I were just talking about this. Her second youngest did this for a few months because he thought it was hilarious. Everyone freaks out, gets a big reaction etc. I believe he just eventually grew out of it

[EvoFire]

Our little one has been gagging himself with his fingers at the dinner for awhile now, we typically pull his fingers out or just ignore him. Never actually threw up though.

He does purposely cough for some reason. Haven't figured out why as it doesn't seem to be attention seeking.

[inv4zn]

Hmm, I guess just patience and perseverance... Which is probably true for most if not all things at this age.

She fake coughed starting a few months ago but everytime she does it I'm like heyy I know that's fake in a playful voice and she smiles lol. Far less annoying than throwing up lol

[Tapioca]

Just discovered this thread... I guess there are a few old timers that are now in the baby-raising years.

My children are about to turn 4 and 6 in a few weeks. It's interesting to read and re-live all of the trials and tribulations that new parents go through. All I can say is that the journey of parenthood gets more interesting by the week and the month, especially once they start developing their own lives outside of the home.

[Great68]

All I can say is that the journey of parenthood gets more interesting by the week and the month

That's a great way to put it. One thing I've come to realise is that the challenges never get easier or go away, they just change form.

For example: When they're infants you're just wish for the days where they'll sleep through the night, you don't have to change diapers anymore, and they can feed themselves.

Now they're 4 years old and they can do all the above on their own, but now they're coming in your bed in the middle of the night, kicking you in the kidneys, taking over your pillow and you get frustrated enough that you go sleep in their bed.

Or you find that they've raided mom's makeup drawer, mixing together the various creams, gels, perfumes etc and when you ask them what they're doing they say "I'm doing science!". And you want to laugh more than you want to get angry.

[Traum]

If I ever hear this song or any variations of it again any time in the future or in my next 3 lives, I swear either my brain will explode, or I'll go shxt bat crazy. FailFish

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqZsoesa55w

[Great68]

See I got my kid on this version instead:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GR2o6k8aPlI

It's much less abrasive.

[inv4zn]

Our girl turns 1 this weekend, but I can already see myself struggling with being stern with her.

She recently started throwing the worst 'tantrums' right before bedtime - flailing arms, arched backs when held, screaming, etc. Last night her mom was getting so mad I took the baby away, stood her in the corner in my arms, and said 'you're giving your mom a very hard time, that's not good' - in a stern way so she knows I'm not playing around.

She stood there for a few seconds looking at my face, and then hung her head in shame. I couldn't help but smile, and she saw this immediately - and went right back to being a little shit haha.

Then this morning she woke up at 5:40am because she had a big poo and woke us all up...lol

[Traum]

You were fantastic and doing everything right, right up until the point when you couldn't help yourself and smiled. Kids -- esp girls -- are crazy good at picking up those cues, and they take those as encouragement or rewards for their behaviour. And then they'll repeat their behaviour because they are expecting to get rewarded again for engaging in that same behaviour. (In your case, that behaviour could be throwing tantrums.) FailFish

When you need to be stern, you have to keep it up all the way through, or the effort will be meaningless. My MIL has a habit of laughing when my kid engages in certain types of "naughty" behaviour, even when we are disciplining him, and I get super upset with that because her laughing is just totally ruining our efforts to discipline him. In fact, it is egging him to keep on being naughty. FailFish

From one Baba to another -- you gotta hold it together, man. There will be plenty of opportunities for you to smile, laugh, and play with her. But when you need to be stern, you gotta be stern.
Our girl turns 1 this weekend, but I can already see myself struggling with being stern with her.

She recently started throwing the worst 'tantrums' right before bedtime - flailing arms, arched backs when held, screaming, etc. Last night her mom was getting so mad I took the baby away, stood her in the corner in my arms, and said 'you're giving your mom a very hard time, that's not good' - in a stern way so she knows I'm not playing around.

She stood there for a few seconds looking at my face, and then hung her head in shame. I couldn't help but smile, and she saw this immediately - and went right back to being a little shit haha.

Then this morning she woke up at 5:40am because she had a big poo and woke us all up...lol

[inv4zn]

Haha I know I know, I just didn't expect her to do that and I cracked. I did turn my head but I guess I was too slow. Also probably didn't help that I turned my head towards a mirror...lol.

[320icar]

Just realized my wife goes back to work in a week. My spare time just plummeted down to zero. We have different days off too so my weekends of car work etc just evaporated

[!Aznboi128]

Time to find a new wife..errr... job.

My wife works as an Optician so she doesn't get the normal 9-5 like I do she's thinking of getting a new job when she goes back so that we can spend more family time together. But I am curious for those who don't work the traditional 9-5 how does it work?

[320icar]

Not easy. Wife and I have been together since 2013. We’ve rarely gotten same days off, and we work opposite shifts (im evenings and she’s usually mornings). I used to be early af but poetically she was closing all the time.

It’s great for making sure someone’s always home with the baby, but relationship wise it fucking sucks.

That’s a whole ‘nother topic for a different time, but intimacy after your first child. I don’t mean sex, but just the the entire relationship after. I love my child, but I miss my wife :(

[!Aznboi128]

Yea, I hear ya. My son is only 4 months old and I feel like the relationship we had has taken a nose dive. It's not bad in anyway but she's just not as happy as she used to. Which in turn makes me sad.

[320icar]

I think as dads well never truly understand how brutal it is being a new mom. We’ve witnessed it first hand as best we can, but the physical and chemical changes are beyond or comprehension. I keep getting told it gets better, just have to hang in there.

Can’t remember the quote but it’s something like “having a baby is like taking a great marriage and throwing a hand grenade at it”

[underscore]

Life for us improved immensely once we got our first sleep trained. We got part of our evenings back, so we actually got a couple hours a night together and we were both getting a full nights sleep.

I don't know if the same will happen now with kid 2 but we're really hoping for it.

[RiceIntegraRS]

^Yes, once our kid was sleep trained and it took a long ass time to do so, our relationship got better. I tried to do as much as i possibly could to help out at home. Which basically meant cutting 2nd-3rd circle friends, friends who i share my hobbies with and the big one was social media. I deleted soo many people off IG and FB cause i realised how much time i wasted on my phone. That time could be spent towards my kid and wife. I couldnt be happier to be honest after i did it.

[EvoFire]

We had some pretty epic fights about things at home due to the baby. She doesn't think I'm doing enough, not enough intimacy, etc.
I felt like I needed 30 hours a day to be able to have enough time.

Nowadays the fights more about differing parenting styles between us and my parents, and how we want to respect the little one's space, but my family being super Asian has no sense of personal space.

There's a different fight for every stage.

[TypeRNammer]

It's amazing how kids minds absorb information like a sponge.

The other day my daughter was crying cause she wanted to eat spaghetti when we already cooked up noodles in soup.

For me to convince her to eat it, I had to refer it as Chinese spaghetti :lawl:

But now a days when I ask her what she wants to eat, she jumps and says she wants the Chinese spaghetti haha. In the process of correcting that now :fuckthatshit:

[underscore]

^ We did that with pears. She decided she didn't like pears all of a sudden, okay whatever no more pears for you. I'm eating a pear one day and of course she wants some. "Oh you want some pe-dada apple? sure."

For the next 6 months or so they were dada apples :lol

[Gumby]

lol, my 7 year old doesn’t like tomatoes/pasta sauce, but he likes lasagna. So we made him some macaroni with “lasagna sauce” and he still ate it...

[!Aznboi128]

okay, rant time.

I hate social media, sure it lets you keep in touch with friends and what not but when you have a bunch of friends kids on your feed all you do is compare. My wife is constantly comparing and it's making her have huge anxiety issues because of it.

I told her to put her phone down but it's so hard. Any tips?

[Traum]

Just have to drive home the idea to her that every kid grows at a different pace, and every kid is good at something different (and bad at others).

The sooner she understands this, the better it is for her as a mom.

[underscore]

For the most part people are only posting the things their kid is ahead in, not the stuff they're behind on. Every kid is ahead in something and behind in something else, guaranteed your kid is ahead of each of the kids your wife is comparing to in some aspect or another. My wife and inlaws were worrying because my oldest wasn't saying many words at first. Now she's miles ahead of where she's supposed to be and basically won't stop talking.

The way I look at it is, unless multiple medical professionals are worried about, I'm not worried about it.

[supafamous]

okay, rant time.

I hate social media, sure it lets you keep in touch with friends and what not but when you have a bunch of friends kids on your feed all you do is compare. My wife is constantly comparing and it's making her have huge anxiety issues because of it.

I told her to put her phone down but it's so hard. Any tips?

Ain't your kid under a year old? At that point it's ridiculous to attach anything to how they're developing other than there's progress (and your doctor is happy with things).

My wife had some anxiety about our daughter's early development as my daughter was quite small (under 5.5lbs) but we had a great doctor who saw us very regularly that helped a lot - are you and your wife happy with your doctor? are they supportive in a way to address the anxiety that comes with being a new parent? It makes a HUGE diff when the doctor is great at this.

[EvoFire]

okay, rant time.

I hate social media, sure it lets you keep in touch with friends and what not but when you have a bunch of friends kids on your feed all you do is compare. My wife is constantly comparing and it's making her have huge anxiety issues because of it.

I told her to put her phone down but it's so hard. Any tips?

What Traum said. She gives me anxiety sometimes cause she gets anxious about stuff like that.

I think it's been drilled into her though as she's been doing it less.

My mom on the other hand..... :pokerface: fml

[Special K]

Can’t compare and don’t compare. Social media is good for things to do like playgrounds or crafts with children. But once you go wow that kid is such a good eater. Or omg he talks already at X age and why not mine is going to be a losing battle.

As long as your kid is healthy and happy, that’s all it matters!

Switching topic a bit. What do you make for your kids to eat? We do:

Steamed ground pork with rice (hide veggies in there)
Mac and cheese (also good for hiding veggies)
Udon in soup or any other type of asian noodles
Cold soba with chicken
Grilled cheese sandwich
Pasta with red sauce
Sushi


Share some ideas!

[EvoFire]

We have no problems with veggies. We have a problem with getting him to eat meat and protein. He likes eating plain boil choy sum.............

He also loooooves carbs.

The only reliable way for us to get him to eat meat right now is feed him cha siu bao, grandma's dumplings, or steamed fish.
Other protein we try to sneak in is egg yolk in oatmeal and some eggs in fried rice.

[Special K]

Fried tofu works for us

[supafamous]

My 2 year old loves carbs especially in the form of noodles, pasta, and potatoes. She however is no fan of vegetables - at least at home. The other night she picked out (or spit out) all the zucchini out of her chicken and rice. I've tried chicken meatballs with spinach mixed in and she doesn't go for it - same with beef meatballs with carrots in it. It's been a real struggle on that front.

OTOH, she generally likes fruit a lot - she will eat almost an entire banana on her own at any time, same with mangos. She's big on most berries too.

Eggs are a big winner particularly in boiled form - she'll wolf a whole egg down seemingly in seconds.

[winson604]

okay, rant time.

I hate social media, sure it lets you keep in touch with friends and what not but when you have a bunch of friends kids on your feed all you do is compare. My wife is constantly comparing and it's making her have huge anxiety issues because of it.

I told her to put her phone down but it's so hard. Any tips?

When you guys bang, start comparing her to other girls you've slept with. I'm sure it'll go over real well lol

[mk1freak]

for my youngest ones i would make myself a stuffed mini pita/ sandwich etc. with veggies and meat and cheese and some sauce like ranch. (usually veggies or meat they wouldn't eat). put it in a panini press and then eat it in front of them and give them a bite. then ask them if they want one too.
they always said yes because they felt like they were eating "adult food".
now they're 7 and they tell me what they want in them. :okay:

also a good rule of thumb i was taught is to feed them meals that are the size of the fist (because according to the doctor their stomachs are the size of their fists). I never used to believe this until one day i guess they were over stuffed and they puked out like 2 lbs of food. after that i fed them smaller meals and they tended to eat alot more of different veggies and meats. No more issues with throwing up.

[Special K]

Their fist size?? That’s tiny... it would be like 4 bites for my 3 year old.

Good idea on the pita. We did tacos this week.

[mk1freak]

another trick I'd do is keep them happy meal boxes and make homemade fries and another healthy dish, put it inside call them to eat tell them I got them a happy meal and watch em go to town! :lawl:

Just to be clear it's fist sized when empty. It will stretch for more food but the compression of the stretching with cause throwing up.

[xxxrsxxx]

Mine just turned 5 months and looking to start solids. Any recommendations or advice on what to start with?

[mk1freak]

Mine just turned 5 months and looking to start solids. Any recommendations or advice on what to start with?
We fed ours homemade congee with finely ground chicken. Bland af but the little buggers loved it. Literally chicken paste.
FYI Once the kids go solid foods the smell and consistency of their poops become adult-like :shrug:
They never liked the baby food from the stores. Except the one that came in a foil pack with a plastic tip I forgot what it's called. They looked like Capri sun's with a valve.

[supafamous]

Mine just turned 5 months and looking to start solids. Any recommendations or advice on what to start with?

Any mushy food will do like ripe bananas. I find all the baby food at Superstore to work just fine especially when they are starting. They're not really "eating" at this point, you're just trying to get them comfortable with the texture and basic tastes of things.

My kid hated the vegetable ones - didn't like carrots or peas. Was a fan of most of the fruit ones and anything that had protein in them (that comes later).

[320icar]

Mine just turned 5 months and looking to start solids. Any recommendations or advice on what to start with?

Look up ‘baby led weening’. It’s a lot of work but he’s had over 100 foods before he turned 1 and isn’t picky at all. Will literally eat anything.

My boy turned 1 on Saturday. Just had my parents over and did a nice bbq. Was quiet and enjoyable and just got to spend time with him.

[Special K]

Steamed pears will help with constipation. My 9 month old cries because pooping hurts

[mk1freak]

Steamed pears will help with constipation. My 9 month old cries because pooping hurtsWhen your kid starts solid, my mind was always blown when they put out logs as big as their forearms.
If I was an adult with poops as thick as my forearms I'd cry too.

[Special K]

My daughter’s poop is bigger than kinder surprise and hard as a rock. Poor girl.

Doctor said to give her lots of water to soften it.

[EvoFire]

We find prune pouches and pear pouches help with the poop. The prune is super effective.

You can also steam/cook pears yourself.

[underscore]

Prunes, pears and apples. Applesauce comes in loads of flavours if they don't like the plain kind and it works wonders.

It works on adults too so be careful if you eat one and then decide to finish off the one your kid half ate :lol

[320icar]

So I have a fairly big yard. For years I’ve been seeing these things in store and think they’re pretty cool. A friend has one and says her 3 boys constantly play on it.

My son will most likely end up being an only child. For those with more experience than myself, do you think this is something a single child can enjoy just as much? Of course with outdoor play with mom or myself etc.

I had a brother, so I can’t really take myself out of that frame of mind.

https://images.costco-static.com/ImageDelivery/imageService?profileId=12026540&imageId=100655750-847__1&recipeName=350

[!Aznboi128]

Look up ‘baby led weening’. It’s a lot of work but he’s had over 100 foods before he turned 1 and isn’t picky at all. Will literally eat anything.

My boy turned 1 on Saturday. Just had my parents over and did a nice bbq. Was quiet and enjoyable and just got to spend time with him.
Do this, we started not long ago with our son and he's enjoying everything.

The only thing is when we take the spoon away he cries ahahah

[underscore]

So I have a fairly big yard. For years I’ve been seeing these things in store and think they’re pretty cool. A friend has one and says her 3 boys constantly play on it.

My son will most likely end up being an only child. For those with more experience than myself, do you think this is something a single child can enjoy just as much? Of course with outdoor play with mom or myself etc.

I had a brother, so I can’t really take myself out of that frame of mind.

https://images.costco-static.com/ImageDelivery/imageService?profileId=12026540&imageId=100655750-847__1&recipeName=350

My oldest plays quite a bit on the basic one I DIY'd last summer, and the youngest won't be old enough to play on it for at least another year or so. Don't forget eventually your son will be having friends over and birthday parties and stuff back there.

Lumber is crazy expensive now though so watch out for that.

[inv4zn]

:okay::okay:

Lucky ass guys with backyards discussing full blown playgrounds while I'm sitting here in my shoebox trying to figure out how I can fit one of these:

https://www.toysrus.ca/dw/image/v2/BDFX_PRD/on/demandware.static/-/Sites-toys-master-catalog/default/dw64aab597/images/861C4D4F_2.jpg:okay:

[320icar]

@inv4zn my coworker got one of those for his 1.5y/o and it’s his absolute favourite thing in the house bar none. He can’t recommend it enough.

Update: my boy took his first steps last night!! Super exciting

[RiceIntegraRS]

So I have a fairly big yard. For years I’ve been seeing these things in store and think they’re pretty cool. A friend has one and says her 3 boys constantly play on it.

My son will most likely end up being an only child. For those with more experience than myself, do you think this is something a single child can enjoy just as much? Of course with outdoor play with mom or myself etc.

I had a brother, so I can’t really take myself out of that frame of mind.

https://images.costco-static.com/ImageDelivery/imageService?profileId=12026540&imageId=100655750-847__1&recipeName=350

What store?

Ive been back and forth about getting one of theses for my parents house. So my kids and cousins can play on it when we are over. But my son has really enjoyed me taking him to all the parks around Surrey/Coquitlam/Vancouver and him playing with the random kids. When he plays on the playground himself he gets bored pretty quick. 320icar, i believe your son is the exact same age as my son.

[320icar]

Costco. They also have it online too.

[RiceIntegraRS]

Do u have a link to the one u posted? i cant seem to find that exact one on costco.ca

The tube slide is something the kids love.

[320icar]

Interesting, not sure why it’s not online. Richmond Costco has a sign that literally says “available online” lol

https://i.ibb.co/FX3ZN9g/A3-B5-D215-0-FFC-449-F-B502-3-E9-E5-FCD10-D7.jpg (https://ibb.co/5k4ptdB)
https://i.ibb.co/R7sL69h/AD1357-A9-4-AF9-4004-9-E40-71841231160-B.jpg (https://ibb.co/XVKm5by)
https://i.ibb.co/YRJHfDV/EBD79715-CF42-4033-B722-13-C692-E021-A9.jpg (https://ibb.co/JB8DrxS)

[inv4zn]

Costco will purge item's from their site if it's out of stock, but only sometimes. Other times they'll leave it on there and put out of stock.

It's super annoying, but you can find the URL which is still live. Check back on it periodically and it may become available again.

[winson604]

:okay::okay:

Lucky ass guys with backyards discussing full blown playgrounds while I'm sitting here in my shoebox trying to figure out how I can fit one of these:

https://www.toysrus.ca/dw/image/v2/BDFX_PRD/on/demandware.static/-/Sites-toys-master-catalog/default/dw64aab597/images/861C4D4F_2.jpg:okay:

Heh at least with this specific model it folds so you can store it easily and relatively space free when not in use.

[vash13]

With things going back to normal it's been nice to take my kid to the playgrounds around my area. I live in Kits and can literally drive towards UBC and can hit up 8 playgrounds and pick a quiet one to play. I live in a shoe box so I don't get the backyard space however most of the parks on the west side are dead since all the rich folks have their own backyards for their kids or they are above using public parks lol.

Pro tip: the water park in the Dunbar area during the summer time is literally dead on the weekends if anyone of you guys needs a quiet park for your kids to play in.

[winson604]

With things going back to normal it's been nice to take my kid to the playgrounds around my area. I live in Kits and can literally drive towards UBC and can hit up 8 playgrounds and pick a quiet one to play. I live in a shoe box so I don't get the backyard space however most of the parks on the west side are dead since all the rich folks have their own backyards for their kids or they are above using public parks lol.

Pro tip: the water park in the Dunbar area during the summer time is literally dead on the weekends if anyone of you guys needs a quiet park for your kids to play in.

Yaaas! My youngest which just turned 2 spent 3/4 of her life essentially at home or outside in the hood and has never even gone to play at playground before until yesterday. She had a blast and it was just fucking weird to think wow this is her first time on a slide.

[inv4zn]

Haha our 14 month old is now walking (semi) comfortably on her own, and she walked on her own outside for the first time yesterday.

A small tip for those who aren't there yet, try not to make a big deal when your child falls when waddling around the house. We found with ours when she was just taking a few steps at a time, she'd fall and then cry and whine for a short time while looking for our reactions. Unless she banged her head somewhere we'd shrug it off and say it's ok, get up and wipe your hands, etc. We wouldn't even go to her. I think that helped a lot because yesterday she fell a few times on the pavement and every time she'd just get up and dust herself off and carry on.

Let them fall (reasonably of course), and get back up on their own. Freaking out and coddling them will do more harm then good (IMO, of course).

Also a tip, from the wife, for kids just learning to walk, hard soled shoes are apparently not good for their development. You want super pliable soft soled shoes to just offer protection from the elements, but still allow them to use their feet muscles to feel the ground, etc.

[320icar]

^^ ditto on all the above. My boys 13mo and running around the house/backyard like a legend. Definitely starting to rack up the bruises hah. This stage is super fun though

[inv4zn]

Went camping for the first time this year, right around the time she started fully 'walking'. We were concerned that she'd be a handful when the adults are setting up/taking down, but we brought a cheap Ikea highchair w/ tray we picked up used, and she sat still in there for as long as we needed her - I think she was just taking in all the new sights, watching us put the tent up, etc.

The Ikea highchair is actually pretty damn excellent because it fits right over the bench on picnic tables, so she gets to sit and eat with everyone else.

Fell on her ass a handful of times and we found her chewing on some twig she found, but overall super fun and we think she liked it too. Slept well, ate well, took a massive shit three times. Also probably coincidence but within a day of returning she added 4 more words to her vocabulary lol.

[underscore]

Were they words she heard while you were fighting with a tent? :lol

[RiceIntegraRS]

Waterpark season is upon us and what ive learned in the last month is that the kids love it and if your gonna bring your kids to the park, please bring their own toys. Any type of bucket is preffered by the kids. Multiple times a day i have to ask/negotiate/fight other kids to return toys back to my crying son.

[EvoFire]

Waterpark season is upon us and what ive learned in the last month is that the kids love it and if your gonna bring your kids to the park, please bring their own toys. Any type of bucket is preffered by the kids. Multiple times a day i have to ask/negotiate/fight other kids to return toys back to my crying son.

We go to sand pits for my son to play. So many kids just come and take our toys and parents don't do anything about it. It's so frustrating.

[320icar]

Who else has a toddler who is not interested in sleeping at all because of this heat. He was hk til 12:30 last night just fuckin around.

Good spirits tho, just being a handful

[EvoFire]

Me. 21 month old, stayed up till around 10:30 when he's usually out by 9. He even has AC in his room.

[inv4zn]

lol we went camping Saturday night again, she wouldn't sleep until 10:30pm and I woke up to some rustling at 4am and she was standing over my head. Had to take her for a walk around the campgrounds to get her to fall asleep again.

My wife has vowed to never go camping again lol - little does she know I booked 2 nights mid-July...

[underscore]

Not directly because of the heat, but yesterday evening our power cut out with no ETA on a fix from Fortis. So we zipped up to my inlaws so the 6 month old wouldn't get roasted. She stayed in the room the 3 year old used to stay in up there so I shared a room with the 3 year old in case being in a new bedroom threw her off a bit. She went to bed fine but woke up at 4am and was basically bouncing around from there on out. Every time I'd nearly fall back asleep she'd do something else and wake me up again lol.

4:00 am joins me in the big bed
4:30 am wants to go back to the other bed
5:00 am gets upset because I rolled over and she couldn't see me so she thought I left
5:30 am has to pee
6:00 am turns the light on to read a book
6:30 am wakes me up because she has a booger
7:00 am wants to snuggle
7:30 am wants breakfast

Normally it's a struggle to get her out of bed by 9 and eating before 9:30 lol.

[supafamous]

Who else has a toddler who is not interested in sleeping at all because of this heat. He was hk til 12:30 last night just fuckin around.

Good spirits tho, just being a handful

It's been both better and worse - she (27 months) takes more work to get to bed and shows more signs of heat making her tired/grumpy but when she's out she's out. She's sleeping more steadily once she's out (sleeps from 8p-5:30a or so nonstop) than what's been normal lately (waking up at midnight and having to join me and mom for the rest of the night).

[inv4zn]

lol I guess after 3 days of blistering heat our girl liked the cooler weather. For the first time in ever she didn't wake up until 8am (she's usually up at 6:30am).

Wife and I totally slept in, and I was late for work. 100% worth it.

[RiceIntegraRS]

lol we went camping Saturday night again, she wouldn't sleep until 10:30pm and I woke up to some rustling at 4am and she was standing over my head. Had to take her for a walk around the campgrounds to get her to fall asleep again.

My wife has vowed to never go camping again lol - little does she know I booked 2 nights mid-July...

surprisingly one of the best sleeps me and my wife has had was at camp. My son slept through the night which he usually never does. My son prefers the cold weathers to sleep thru than the hot. But at this point in time, ive given up sleep training my son(25 months) cause he just doesnt sleep that well no matter what we do. Its just easier for me to just sleep with him in his bed.

[inv4zn]

https://www.reddit.com/r/KidsAreFuckingStupid/comments/oj9zph/pantry_raiders_2nd_kid_is_my_spirit_animal_aaagh/

lol

[DA9ve]

I dont know how I missed this thread, I see everyone is getting older now. glad to see the evolution of RS members lol

[inv4zn]

Question for those whose child has probably gone through this.

Our 16 month old started biting things randomly & sucking fingers. I assume it's a phase, but it's destructive lol. She ripped off the eye of a teddy bear and last night bit me on the neck for zero reason. She's not teething because she already has all her teeth except the back 4 molars, and it just started out of the blue.

Any tips? Internet says "positive reinforcement" but I don't want to be like "wow you're not sucking your thumb!" because that'll just make her do it...lol

[mk1freak]

Oh she's teething, them things will keep growing into place.
My youngest twins were like this, sucking fingers, biting etc. Positive reinforcement works but stern discipline worked even better. Hard to speak to them like an adult but telling the little shits it hurts and by giving them an angry "OW!" sorted that out.... Eventually.
On the oldest twins I put siracha just underneath their favorite sucking finger's nail. Now though they like food spicier than I do. Good luck to you.

[supafamous]

After a couple weeks of really bad sleep (like waking at 11p and staying up till 3a) with my 2 year old she finally slept through the night and, oh man, everyone in the house is so much happier. I feel like a new man and wife and I haven't snapped at each other all day.

Of all the things I miss due to kids, sleep is the number one thing - I can live without the nights out, seeing my friends, not owning a sports car etc but good sleep is worth so much nowadays.

[320icar]

feel like a new man and wife and I haven't snapped at each other all day.


Wish I could say the same. The having a child part is hard, but feels natural. Something I wasn’t ready for was how much the dynamics of a relationship changes. Feels bad man

[inv4zn]

Yeah that's definitely hard. When the baby was ~1 year old, my wife and I had a big fight and there was a few moments of genuine yelling/screaming. The baby burst out in the most epic cry we've ever heard so we immediately stopped...

But even now, whenever the baby (now 16 months) senses tension in our voices when we talk to each other she randomly starts crying and we both back down.

Emotions are obviously hard to control, but knowing that it's impacting the kid long-term helps keep us at bay.

Now we just fight in whispers after she sleeps :okay:

[supafamous]

Wish I could say the same. The having a child part is hard, but feels natural. Something I wasn’t ready for was how much the dynamics of a relationship changes. Feels bad man

Oh yeah, I know the feeling. At the worst of it I was going "We're going to get divorced" in my head. I'd say month 3-10 were the worst for us - I was sleeping in the guest room and we'd take turns with the baby. Wasn't till we sleep trained her at month 10 that things got a better but even then it was not ideal.

We actually see a counsellor every few weeks now - it's really, really, really, really helpful. All the stuff that gets bottled up gets dumped out in an hour and we see a bit of progress each time. The first couple were pretty emotional but now it's the little stuff that comes out which we don't normally have time or energy to talk about. I highly recommend it - most workplaces will pay for it via their EAP (Employee Assistance Program).

Now that COVID isn't so bad and we're vax'd even little things like going to Costco as a family have been helpful. I was tired of being the only person who ever went grocery shopping and she was tired of being left at home with the kid during those kinds of trips. And everyone likes to chow down on a Costco hot dog so that helps.

[EvoFire]

I'm glad we never got that far with our relationship, but heard of plenty of marriages staying together because of the child and there's nothing left except for the child.

Supafamous it's great to hear that you guys saw the problem and went to find help. Hope things get better for you guys.

[EvoFire]

We have a very new problem to us, meddling grandparents (my parents)

We bought an older house that needed renos and we are bridging the gap by living at my parents.
My mom has been entering our room to check on the little one every night and waking him up. He already is getting less sleep than usual because we have to share a room and the other night my mom woke him up at 12am, and he was up until 3am. My wife was super upset about it and I had to have a talk with my mom about not going in and checking on him.

I know she means well but us being more independent, this has been tough. We are thankful for the help but god damn we can't wait to get back into our own place.

[mk1freak]

We have a very new problem to us, meddling grandparents (my parents)

We bought an older house that needed renos and we are bridging the gap by living at my parents.
My mom has been entering our room to check on the little one every night and waking him up. He already is getting less sleep than usual because we have to share a room and the other night my mom woke him up at 12am, and he was up until 3am. My wife was super upset about it and I had to have a talk with my mom about not going in and checking on him.

I know she means well but us being more independent, this has been tough. We are thankful for the help but god damn we can't wait to get back into our own place.Wait until they are older and they give em so much sweet treats, you know which sweets too. The same ones we never got growing up... :okay:

[320icar]

Tips for taking a child camping??

My son will be 16 months when we go in September. He’s running around and is a god damn infinite ball of energy. We are avid campers and have everything we need and then some. But like... how do you keep a child entertained outdoors like that. My wife has a playpen I think, but I know he won’t like it. He has never had restrictive play like in a crib or pen so he might hate the idea of being trapped.

Retractable wire guide system? That’s what o did with my puppy last trip

[inv4zn]

Tips for taking a child camping??

My son will be 16 months when we go in September. He’s running around and is a god damn infinite ball of energy. We are avid campers and have everything we need and then some. But like... how do you keep a child entertained outdoors like that. My wife has a playpen I think, but I know he won’t like it. He has never had restrictive play like in a crib or pen so he might hate the idea of being trapped.

Retractable wire guide system? That’s what o did with my puppy last trip

Haha we worried about this with our daughter (very similar age), and it was for nothing. What we did was buy a cheap Ikea high-chair online for $10, and strap them in for when we're setting up or doing things. Because she'd never seen any of it before just sitting there watching us was entertaining enough for her.

Because it's a completely new environment, all the tasks seem new (but this is a double edged sword because she also didn't sleep very well). Otherwise just take him on a walk around and point out the different coloured tents, pets people have, etc. You can try buying cheap dirt-play toys (buckets, scoop, etc.) but that'll depend on his interests. We also brought a big bouncy ball but the site was on a cliff so we lost the ball pretty quickly...small harmless camping equipment (headlamps, clean plastic tent stakes, etc.) can also be a lot of fun.

Also this is pretty obvious but just keep an eye on him at all times. We turned away for a few seconds and found her sucking on a golf ball sized rock.

Also if you've never been with him yet apparently it helps to sleep in the tent at your house a day or two before the trip. And if he sleeps with a stuffy or blankie or something take that with you. We found with ours it was hard because she wouldn't want to sleep because 1. it's exciting and 2. it's bright af until 9pm, and then she'd be overtired and not used to the new setting. Be prepared for a bad night's sleep, is all I will say lol. Have fun!

[inv4zn]

We have a very new problem to us, meddling grandparents (my parents)

We bought an older house that needed renos and we are bridging the gap by living at my parents.
My mom has been entering our room to check on the little one every night and waking him up. He already is getting less sleep than usual because we have to share a room and the other night my mom woke him up at 12am, and he was up until 3am. My wife was super upset about it and I had to have a talk with my mom about not going in and checking on him.

I know she means well but us being more independent, this has been tough. We are thankful for the help but god damn we can't wait to get back into our own place.

Haha your mom came into the room where all 3 of you were sleeping? I donno if cultural policies apply, but tell your mom that her doing that is disrupting your wife's sleep in multiple ways. That way you're not telling her she's doing something wrong with the grandchild, but with an adult.

Or set up a baby cam or something only over the baby and give your mom access to that.

[EvoFire]

Haha your mom came into the room where all 3 of you were sleeping? I donno if cultural policies apply, but tell your mom that her doing that is disrupting your wife's sleep in multiple ways. That way you're not telling her she's doing something wrong with the grandchild, but with an adult.

Or set up a baby cam or something only over the baby and give your mom access to that.

She did come in when we were sleeping, it's just all around weird and old ppl (she's not even that old) have no boundaries.

[inv4zn]

She did come in when we were sleeping, it's just all around weird and old ppl (she's not even that old) have no boundaries.

You should go into her room at 2am just to check in on her lol, see what she says

[Traum]

You should go into her room at 2am just to check in on her lol, see what she says
As EvoFire was saying -- it's a matter of boundaries, or in this case, a lack of awareness for other people's boundaries. Chances are, Grandma will say that she is only concerned about the little person. It wouldn't even have crossed her mind that by coming into the room, she is violating the personal space boundaries of EvoFire and his wife.

I sympathize with EvoFire, and I'd say that EvoFire would already be the person that knows his mom best. So it would be up to him to find the most appropriate way to get the idea across to Grandma that she cannot just barge into their room to check on the grandson.

Honestly, good luck with that. And be thankful that at least it is your mom doing this (and not your MIL), so at least the matter is "in your own hands" to resolve it, so to speak. If the issue is coming from the MIL, it'd be even more difficult to deal with. FailFish

[RiceIntegraRS]

Tips for taking a child camping??

My son will be 16 months when we go in September. He’s running around and is a god damn infinite ball of energy. We are avid campers and have everything we need and then some. But like... how do you keep a child entertained outdoors like that. My wife has a playpen I think, but I know he won’t like it. He has never had restrictive play like in a crib or pen so he might hate the idea of being trapped.

Retractable wire guide system? That’s what o did with my puppy last trip

I took my son camping for the first time when he was 14 months twice and surprisingly he kept himself entertained the whole time. There was 3 other kids his age there aswell but they didnt really play with each other too much. My son loved to throw rocks in the water, digging sand and rocks into his bucket. Playing with his toy monster trucks throughout the campsite and basically explore. I brought a tablet cause i thought it was gonna be hard to keep him entertained but i only used it maybe twice the whole weekend. We went with 10 adults total so having all those extra set of eyes on all the kids made it soo much easier. Just make sure u bring a crap load of extra clothes for ur son cause they dirty them super quick especially if ur by the water. I think my son went through all 8 of his pants and we made him wear dirty pants twice cause we ran out.

[320icar]

Yeah we’ll be going with adults so lots of eyes to watch out! My wife is starting to get excited and picking up some throwaway toys from the dollar store to play at the lake etc. He’s getting good at running now so I’m a bit less worried about scraped hands/knees. Thanks for the responses guys!

[TypeRNammer]

3.5 years later, finally an open spot for my daughter that's closer to home for day care!

[EvoFire]

My son fell and broke a front tooth, possibly two. My wife is at Children's right now with him in ER after getting the run around with a few and phone calls with none being really helpful.

So a heads up for all your parents on here, Children's has an on-call pediatrician dentist on the weekend. Yes it'll take a while but in an emergency it's available. They won't tell you that over the phone.

[!Aznboi128]

^ certainly good to know/remember

[SSM_DC5]

Sorry to hear about your son. I hope he gets treated soon.

But did anyone else wAnder if the boy slipped on a grape in the mall? :suspicious:

[EvoFire]

It was a slow process, we went at ~4pm, intake, wait for pediatrician to come see him.

Pediatrician came at around 6pm, decided that it was out of his hands and called the pediatric dentist. Dentist took about 30mins to call back, my wife chatted with her and they decided to come in and do an xray, took the dentist about 40mins to arrive.

ER doesn't have the right equipment so they had to wheel it over from the dentist department at Children's. That took another 30 mins. Called me at 8:20 and said they are starting work. We left Children's at ~9:30pm, minus 1 tooth.

It was an ordeal, but we are glad it's over. Go to Children's if you can't get an emergency appointment with a pediatric dentist.

[Traum]

It is never a pleasant experience taking a child to the hospital, even when I am super grateful for everything that the medical staff are doing.

Sorry that your son had to go through with this. I hope it wouldn't lead to anything permanent.

[EvoFire]

Sorry to hear about your son. I hope he gets treated soon.

But did anyone else wAnder if the boy slipped on a grape in the mall? :suspicious:

Playground god damn it!

But I wouldn't be surprised if he would slip on a grape in the mall.

[EvoFire]

Topic came up a few days ago.

Do any of you have wills just in case where the two of you pass away for whatever reason and only the little one is left.

Is stipulating custody rights to a friend/grandparents a thing?
Is assigning insurance payout to a trust fund something we should do?
Also dealing with our properties?

We are actually thinking the most about immediate custody rights because IF something happens (bad car accident while kid is with grandparents or at daycare) and we don't want our son to end up in a foster home or anything like that for any amount of time.

[supafamous]

Topic came up a few days ago.

Do any of you have wills just in case where the two of you pass away for whatever reason and only the little one is left.

Is stipulating custody rights to a friend/grandparents a thing?
Is assigning insurance payout to a trust fund something we should do?
Also dealing with our properties?

We are actually thinking the most about immediate custody rights because IF something happens (bad car accident while kid is with grandparents or at daycare) and we don't want our son to end up in a foster home or anything like that for any amount of time.

Not yet but it's a work in progress - I'm doing mine online through Willful (https://www.willful.co)

You should definitely ask someone to be a guardian for your kids if you both die and have it stipulated in a will. Same with money that goes into a trust etc.

I've been bad about this - my kid is 2.5y and my wife and I still haven't set up our wills. If you don't have a will it makes everything a real mess to sort out.

[supafamous]

Fuck it, just went and completed my will.

[Gumby]

I've been bad about this - my kid is 2.5y and my wife and I still haven't set up our wills. If you don't have a will it makes everything a real mess to sort out.
Don’t feel bad about it; I have a 13 and 7 year old and while we’ve talked about it, my wife and I haven’t set up our wills yet either. We’re making it a priority now!

[!Aznboi128]

My wife and I have been talking about it but can't think of a good guardian :/

[RiceIntegraRS]

Me and my wife have talked about it. The biggest question is who gets our kids. My kids are closest to my parents but thats not the most logical move since were most likely gonna live longer than them. I do have some options but theres pros and cons to which gaurdians would be best for my kids. Which is probably the biggest question mark for you guys aswell.

[supafamous]

We're fortunate - I have a brother and a BIL with kids whom we both get along with (and the kids get along) so we have two options. Updating the will is another thing to do though - my brother has his BIL designated as his kids guardian but that was before I was married and had kids. Now it makes better sense for me to be their guardian as his BIL lives out in Saskatoon and his kids have grown up around me but the will hasn't been updated for it.

In related matters do you have life insurance? I was VERY surprised when my BIL told me he didn't have any (he's got 2 kids). I'm set up so that if I did the mortgage is paid off and my wife doesn't have to work for the next 8-10 years - it's costs me about $1600/yr for that coverage. Paying off the mortgage would seem to be the minimum amount you should be carrying.

[RiceIntegraRS]

I have a life insurance policy, i believe its enough where the mortgage would be paid off. I got it before i had kids. I pay $2400/yr and its a life insurance/investment account type deal. Ive had it for 5 years so i have alil over 11k in it which i could withdraw any time(with fees of course) The beneficiaries are my wife and mom. If i set the beneficiaries to my kids and wife in my will, will that overturn what i had set for my beneficiaries in my Life Insurance policy? I do have a couple bank accounts, and another life insurance policy through the bank aswell. Im abit lazy to contact them all and switch them all up, if a Will would possibly trump all of that.

[supafamous]

I have a life insurance policy, i believe its enough where the mortgage would be paid off. I got it before i had kids. I pay $2400/yr and its a life insurance/investment account type deal. Ive had it for 5 years so i have alil over 11k in it which i could withdraw any time(with fees of course) The beneficiaries are my wife and mom. If i set the beneficiaries to my kids and wife in my will, will that overturn what i had set for my beneficiaries in my Life Insurance policy? I do have a couple bank accounts, and another life insurance policy through the bank aswell. Im abit lazy to contact them all and switch them all up, if a Will would possibly trump all of that.

https://www.advisor.ca/advisor-to-client/financial-planning/think-carefully-before-naming-beneficiaries/

Wills don't trump designated beneficiaries in cases where they're named so *if* I had a side piece she could get the RRSP instead of my wife and kid if I named it that way in my RRSP.

[EvoFire]

After lots of discussion, we still don't know what to do with custody.

Her parents aren't healthy and my parents are old, after 10 years or so we'll still need to find some one who can take on the responsibility of taking care of our kid.

We have narrowed down our executors though, some one who we trust, who is successful enough in life that they can handle our stuff. Close enough to us that they will do such a thing in case of tragedy, but not SOOOO damn close to us that they will be grieving so hard and not get anything done.

[inv4zn]

Story time!

We forgot to turn on the baby monitor last night, so we didn't hear her wake up this morning. The 'trouble' with this toddler is that she never screams or cries to be let out of bed, it's just 'umma' and 'appa' over and over, which is what wakes us up through the monitor.

Well after about 30 minutes of calling for us she decided she had enough. And proceeded to self-teach herself how to undo her zipper to her pajamas, shimmy out of it entirely, undo her diaper, and then wave it around with all the poo in it.

Poo on the sheets, crib, walls, and small bits in the carpet. And when I walked in she had the biggest smile on her face.

So, pro-tip. Always turn on your baby monitor, and use button clothing for toddlers.

/story

[!Aznboi128]

Is that the type of morning where you see that and walk back to bed and pretend like you're asleep?

[inv4zn]

The range of emotions that flow through you in a split second is indescribable.

On one hand it's funny as hell, on another it's entirely our fault so can't even get mad, and also it smells like shit, but at least it's not on her face/mouth, etc.

Fun times.

[inv4zn]

Unrelated, to anyone with toddlers in the 1.5 to 2 year range (or even older) who need a gentle hand sleep training or sleeping on their own, this clock is a god-send:
https://www.amazon.ca/LittleHippo-Childrens-Trainer-Sounds-Machine/dp/B078Z4KFDR/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=mella+clock&qid=1631216616&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExVDkwQ1FGU0hWNjM4J mVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNTYxNTI5UlBCR0RIV1dNUEpEJmVuY3J 5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTAxNDUzMDIyQ0hFR0pTNTBCUE5GJndpZGdld E5hbWU9c3BfYXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm9 0TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==

Essentially it's just a visual clue for kids who don't know "time" yet, and you can set it to whatever times you want. They do need to be able to understand some things though, like relating the clock face to an actual face, and knowing eyes open/closed, etc.

Our kid took about 2 days to grasp that when the clock closes its eyes it's time for bed, and will also stay quietly in bed until the clock opens its eyes in the morning. We've had it for about a month now and she will shoo us out of the room when the clock closes its eyes, and will go to sleep on her own. The wife hates it because the baby doesn't want to be held anymore before bed lol she just wants to be put down in the crib.

It's expensive, yes, but it's an investment that has massively paid off.

[EvoFire]

Unrelated, to anyone with toddlers in the 1.5 to 2 year range (or even older) who need a gentle hand sleep training or sleeping on their own, this clock is a god-send:
https://www.amazon.ca/LittleHippo-Childrens-Trainer-Sounds-Machine/dp/B078Z4KFDR/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=mella+clock&qid=1631216616&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExVDkwQ1FGU0hWNjM4J mVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNTYxNTI5UlBCR0RIV1dNUEpEJmVuY3J 5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTAxNDUzMDIyQ0hFR0pTNTBCUE5GJndpZGdld E5hbWU9c3BfYXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm9 0TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==

Essentially it's just a visual clue for kids who don't know "time" yet, and you can set it to whatever times you want. They do need to be able to understand some things though, like relating the clock face to an actual face, and knowing eyes open/closed, etc.

Our kid took about 2 days to grasp that when the clock closes its eyes it's time for bed, and will also stay quietly in bed until the clock opens its eyes in the morning. We've had it for about a month now and she will shoo us out of the room when the clock closes its eyes, and will go to sleep on her own. The wife hates it because the baby doesn't want to be held anymore before bed lol she just wants to be put down in the crib.

It's expensive, yes, but it's an investment that has massively paid off.

Funny you should post that as we just got something very similar last week. With ours, when it's time to wake up it turns into a yellow sun, and a blue star when it's sleep time.

Took us two days to train our son to use it. He would yell yellow at us to tell us it's time to wake up and pick him up from the crib.
Then yesterday during nap time, my mom was making a ton of noise and woke him up shortly after he fell asleep. He managed to grab a hold of the clock and was playing with it cause he learned that he wasn't supposed to be calling. He kept saying yellow at the clock hoping it would light up until he eventually fell asleep holding it.

I felt horrible leaving him in the crib with the clock because it became his jail but he had to get at least an hour of nap time in otherwise we would have a shit time at dinner.

[!Aznboi128]

Hey parents, new CPST tech here. If you would like I can swing by check your seat install and potentially give you some tips to ensure everything is safe.

[EvoFire]

CPST stands for Child Passenger Safety Tech?

I would be interested if my seats are installed correctly.

[!Aznboi128]

Correct, Child Passenger Safety Technician awarded by The Child Passenger Safety Association of Canada.

long name EleGiggle

But yea, Happy to help parents of RS.

[inv4zn]

That's awesome, where were you a year ago haha.

We paid (ie. donated) to have a CPST go over our infant seat as well as our convertible, and both times were well worth the price/time.

The only thing (and maybe a tip for you aznboi) is that with our convertible seat (Nuna Rava) the tech missed that in Canada, the leg extension MUST be extended in rear facing whereas the US one is optional. So just keeping on top of the huge amount of variables and seats in circulation is going to be challenging.

But kudos for doing this, even seeing with our friends/acquaintances, the number of people who just assume everything is hunky dory is pretty alarming.

[320icar]

So my boy is 18mo, pretty darn smart but still not vocal (but know exactly what you’re saying which is cool).

At what age do children start learning to be scolded? Not sure how to explain it. But when he does something like chew the corners of his books, if you try and tell him no, he just smiles or laughs, like he enjoys getting the reaction out of you. Should they just be taken Away?

I’ve avoided removing the books all together because he LOVES choosing books, sitting in your lap and being read to, which is a great thing and I don’t want him to stop that :p

[inv4zn]

So my boy is 18mo, pretty darn smart but still not vocal (but know exactly what you’re saying which is cool).

At what age do children start learning to be scolded? Not sure how to explain it. But when he does something like chew the corners of his books, if you try and tell him no, he just smiles or laughs, like he enjoys getting the reaction out of you. Should they just be taken Away?

I’ve avoided removing the books all together because he LOVES choosing books, sitting in your lap and being read to, which is a great thing and I don’t want him to stop that :p

So ours is 19m, and "scolding" doesn't really work/help, for the reasons you said. It's like they understand what you're saying but don't really care, which is super frustrating to an adult but for the kid I guess it's entirely reasonable.

What we found works a lot better is to make the issue at hand something they can relate to. If you get mad when he chews books he doesn't know why. But if you sit him down and tell him the book has an owie when he bites it, and that the book will be sad, just like he was sad when he fell or something, it might help. But sometimes they'll do it just to piss you off also haha.

[EvoFire]

So my boy is 18mo, pretty darn smart but still not vocal (but know exactly what you’re saying which is cool).

At what age do children start learning to be scolded? Not sure how to explain it. But when he does something like chew the corners of his books, if you try and tell him no, he just smiles or laughs, like he enjoys getting the reaction out of you. Should they just be taken Away?

I’ve avoided removing the books all together because he LOVES choosing books, sitting in your lap and being read to, which is a great thing and I don’t want him to stop that :p

We find that ours at 23m just started to understand scolding and he cried a few times because of it.

He handles it much better now and pauses whatever he's doing. Doesn't seem to work everytime to get him to stop completely.

[supafamous]

So ours is 19m, and "scolding" doesn't really work/help, for the reasons you said. It's like they understand what you're saying but don't really care, which is super frustrating to an adult but for the kid I guess it's entirely reasonable.

What we found works a lot better is to make the issue at hand something they can relate to. If you get mad when he chews books he doesn't know why. But if you sit him down and tell him the book has an owie when he bites it, and that the book will be sad, just like he was sad when he fell or something, it might help. But sometimes they'll do it just to piss you off also haha.

That's what my wife does this as well for our 30 month old and it works fairly well even going back to when she was 18 months or so.

At my daughter's current age I'm finding a fair bit of success doing the "You can do it yourself or daddy's going to count to 3 and make you do it.". She realizes that I do mean business when I hit and generally complies with my request (stuff like coming to dinner or doing bath time. This doesn't work for my wife as she doesn't do well with holding the line on things - I will let my kid cry it out so she knows it doesn't really get her anywhere.

Scolding doesn't really work well in our case at any age from my experience - it seems to only address the issue of the day but doesn't lead to better behaviour.

[Eff-1]

We just passed the first trimester. Still in shock lol.

We're starting the long process of buying all the gear.

I'm sure people here have done endless research. Tell me everything haha.

[SSM_DC5]

^congratulations!

[320icar]

We just passed the first trimester. Still in shock lol.

We're starting the long process of buying all the gear.

I'm sure people here have done endless research. Tell me everything haha.

Biggest tip of all: FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE and buy for pennies on the dollar

[Traum]

We just passed the first trimester. Still in shock lol.

We're starting the long process of buying all the gear.

I'm sure people here have done endless research. Tell me everything haha.
Over time, I have bought a ton of stuff from TJ's Kiddies Store on Marine, including most of the big ticket items. I have found their inventory, prices, and staff knowledge to be generally pretty good, but I know others have had less satisfying experience though.

Try different brands of diapers -- at least Pampers and Huggies. For the same model and size, the 2 brands actually differ by 1/2 a size, but I have forgotten which one is the smaller one by now. This discovery was a godsend when moving up 1 size with the same brand meant things got leaky. We went up by that 1/2 size each time through switching brands, and it worked out really well for us.

Ignore what the nurses tell you about breast feeding because they are all hellbent on convincing you that's the only viable and right thing to do. But you know what? Not every mom can produce enough breast milk, no matter how hard she tries. Adding stress to a sleep-deprived new mother is NEVER a good thing. And those ready-to-drink baby formula is also a godsend, at least in the first few months, even if they are like 2x as expensive as the powdered form.

Congrats!

[supafamous]

Biggest tip of all: FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE and buy for pennies on the dollar

This. Unless you've got lots of money you'll do just fine buying used stuff for your kid including car seats and strollers. For one thing you may not like how well something works once you start using it - what seems like a tolerable feature will soon turn to major annoyance once you're a tired parent.

There are tonnes of review sites out there for baby gear and they have many differing opinions - so much so that you'll get into analysis by paralysis if you read them all. I ended up just focusing on whatever Wirecutter suggested and it worked out fine.

[underscore]

Biggest tip of all: FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE and buy for pennies on the dollar

People are usually keen to get rid of more kids stuff too. I went to buy a crib and came home with the conversion rails, not-falling-out-of-bed thing, and a highchair all for free. Especially if you see the pins on the map in a fancier neighbourhood, half the time it's high end stuff they used once or twice and didn't like.

Try different brands of diapers -- at least Pampers and Huggies. For the same model and size, the 2 brands actually differ by 1/2 a size, but I have forgotten which one is the smaller one by now.

Even the different "models" from each brand fit differently. Both of my kids have worn staggered sizes for nighttime vs daytime Pampers ie size 2 Baby Dry at night, size 3 Cruisers during the day. Or something like that, I can't remember the names offhand, I just slap them on her lol.

[320icar]

Ignore what the nurses tell you about breast feeding because they are all hellbent on convincing you that's the only viable and right thing to do. But you know what? Not every mom can produce enough breast milk, no matter how hard she tries. Adding stress to a sleep-deprived new mother is NEVER a good thing. And those ready-to-drink baby formula is also a godsend, at least in the first few months, even if they are like 2x as expensive as the powdered form.

Congrats!

This is also a great point. My wife is healthy and well endowed, but at the beginning since this was our first child she was having difficulty producing. After a few months it was great but like Traum said, as a dad you’ll feel kind of helpless since the burden of effort really falls onto the mother.

We used to split breastfeed/bottles and the liquid formula (which used the same nipple size as the snappies). Helpful for a dad too when mom says “no, I’m skipping this pump and going to fucking sleep” lol, you can say “no problem momma I’ll feed with the formula”.

Breast is best, but don’t feel bad for supplementing with liquid formula when necessary

[!Aznboi128]

Facebook Market place is great, family hand-me downs are also great.

You prob don't need to by from West coast kids their stuff is pretty expensive.

Buy what you need not what you want.