REVscene Automotive Forum - The Guys' Rules

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I got this e-mail at work. Thought I would share. :D

Quote:

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "The Rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh

couple of those on there are right on the money. The toilet seat one is pretty good and Sunday sports my girlfriend still cant understand why I watch sunday football religously or any canucks game.

hahaha..... I like the one about go see a doctor. My gf is always complaining about having really bad stomach aches and I keep telling her to go get it checked out. Does she ever go?? Nope!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by mazdaboi (Post 6615830)

hahaha..... I like the one about go see a doctor. My gf is always complaining about having really bad stomach aches and I keep telling her to go get it checked out. Does she ever go?? Nope!!

hahahahahaaaa

shes fucking someone else bro!

this is best

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by maxx (Post 6615834)

hahahahahaaaa

shes fucking someone else bro!

yeah..... I don't think constant stomach pains and diarrhea are symptoms of pregnancy.... good try though!! :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by mazdaboi (Post 6615977)

yeah..... I don't think constant stomach pains and diarrhea are symptoms of pregnancy.... good try though!! :D

They are if she's getting bladder infections / yeast infections from other guys!

Sorry!!! Bladder infection or yeast infection symptoms would mainly be discharge and burning sensation when pissing... try again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mazdaboi (Post 6615830)

hahaha..... I like the one about go see a doctor. My gf is always complaining about having really bad stomach aches and I keep telling her to go get it checked out. Does she ever go?? Nope!!

lol noob.

It's true how I don't mind the couch sometimes, especially on a drunken night

Quote:

Originally Posted by TOS'd (Post 6616073)

lol noob.

now now, don't go around calling people noobs or else they will have their "first webraging" thread

Quote:

Originally Posted by mazdaboi (Post 6615977)

yeah..... I don't think constant stomach pains and diarrhea are symptoms of pregnancy.... good try though!! :D

You'd date someone with chronic diarrhea?

read this one before but everything is true nonetheless

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noir (Post 6616925)

You'd date someone with chronic diarrhea?

Maybe shes really good in bed? :rolleyes:

Quote:

Originally Posted by shenmecar (Post 6617113)

Maybe shes really good in bed? :rolleyes:

ya, til it rushes past ur nuts.

Quote:

I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

I always use this one. :lol

Anyway, most of them are pretty true.