Quote:
Originally Posted by 6793026
good on ya. Not every woman (and to be fair, man) change so willingly / effectively. Just cause you shower them with love, one has to want to change...
Congrads and that's probably why you have been married for 10 yrs.
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The thing with getting someone to change for relationship strength is that you are essentially undoing an addiction.
We tend to associate addictions with physical causes such as drinking / gambing etc, but in the case of relationship building, you're dealing with many things that are intangible which makes it harder. Part of the battle is whether they want to change and the other big part is finding out what needs to change (this can be excruciatingly difficult for the person to figure out).
It's easy to say 'yes, I want to change for us' but put in practice is a much different story because, out of habit (addiction), the person will revert back to their old ways and almost undo the hard work put in. This can lead to guilt and remorse and potentially end of the relationship. With patience, determination and CONSISTENCY, anyone can change from who they were to who they want to be. But before any steps can be taken, the person has to admit they are not happy with who they are. They don't have to decide who they want to be overnight but instead, gradually move away from all the qualities they do not like and towards qualities they do. In time, they will change and will be
naturally happy with their new place in life and will not ever want to go back. They just beat their addiction with the help of a loving partner and good relationship building.
Anyone who watched their partner change for the better deserves all their happiness but it looks like they will because their partner changed for them.