Quote:
Originally Posted by Euro7r
Let's get some action here 
Some background information, I had a condo to my own name before I met my current wife. She moved in and we lived together for a good year before we got married & sold my condo to buy a detached house. At the time when I still had my condo ownership, she kept nagging about buying detached, so I eventually sold the condo (got tired of her nagging) so we could use the funds to buy the house.
Fast forward to present date, we've had the detached house for a year now. Here's the challenge I've been facing with house duties. My wife is brought up by parents where she did not have to do a single thing at home (literally ZERO - to the point she has no common sense whatsoever for things that need to be done in a house). Her parents spoiled her to the point she's useless as they just wanted her to focus on studies, typically shitty parenting from my pov as it has made her handicapped. Mind you she doesn't even know how to take out the garbage. Obviously I did not know this because when we were living at the condo, we didn't have all these additional chores, like fixing the house, yard work, taking out garbage etc. At the condo this was pretty much all done for you at the expense of your strata fees.
I've assigned her two simple things to do now, cook and laundry and the rest is all me. Even then this apparently is too much work or stressful for her to do. Laundry machine in the condo was beside our bedroom in the condo, now it's in the basement (too much walking for her...like WTF?). Or she'll tell me she'll do the laundry every 2-4 weeks (like serioulsy??). The kicker here that makes things complicated is the fact she's been addicted to video games (pokemon), she would just go out the house out of the blue to battle neglecting home. Pretty much her pokemon is more important than family. I told her it's fine she can play games as long as she does her house work, then she starts giving me crap about how her friends don't do house work. Or on the weekend, I'll try to get her up early so we can go out to enjoy the weather but she will be too lazy to get up (yet when someone invites her to play pokemon, she'll be right up on the bright early). It's gotten worse to the point where she will tell me she's going out to battle pokemon, but doesn't tell me where or when she will be back.
Is it reasonable to place expectations in a marriage for house duties? Every-time now when I try to let her know, family first, she will makes comments like we should sell the house then and move into a townhouse so we don't have as much house work to do as strata will take care of it. |
Your girl is useless, full stop. Tell me one good thing she does? Blow you? That's not good enough. Any girl with the right amount of overbite can replace her.
Few questions:
How was she pre-marriage? Nevermind house duties, how was she socially and romantically toward you?
Did she put money towards the house purchase? Or was 'nagging' her form of currency?
Does she work? She spent all that time studying right? For what?
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You shouldn't be assigning tasks to your wife. She should ideally act proactively when something needs to be done. She would take out the trash if it's full, do the laundry if the hamper is full, clean the bathtub if it's dirty, cook food if you ran out of leftovers. These are the traits of a caring wife that wants to commit to a strong and happy household. She's doing these things because she cares and is it doing it for you like you would do things for her.
Based on what I read in your post, this is not a marriage I see lasting very long. Sounds like she doesn't want to spend much time with you and uses gaming to pass the time. She still nags, doesn't want to commit equally to the marriage, leaves the house on her own and doesn't want to spend early mornings with you.
Again, I'm basing this just on what you wrote. Sounds like she's taking you for a financial ride at your expense and offering little to nothing to the relationship. Maybe house duties should be the least of your concerns at the moment?
Last question: Are you happy with this situation?
I could not live with a woman like that for one week, let alone a lifetime. What a miserable existence. She belongs to redflagdeals...