Thread: Speak it Out
View Single Post
Old 04-21-2025, 09:51 PM   #25410
Traum
RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
 
Traum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Paradise, BC
Posts: 8,356
Thanked 8,129 Times in 3,379 Posts
Failed 261 Times in 147 Posts
Back in my dating days -- this is easily 15 - 20 years ago (gosh... ) -- Mainland Chinese girls had the unspoken cultural custom of girls getting married in their 20's. Typically, the parents would start laying on the pressure after the girl turns 25 -- gently at first, and progressively getting worse as the girl gets closer to 30. In my time, I've dated / known a few Mainland Chinese girls where even though they mostly grew up here since high school / post secondary, they still showed varying degrees of this sensitivity to parental pressure to get married. In fact, I knew at least one girl where she didn't really love her husband, but she married him anyway just so that her parents would find peace / take comfort in knowing that she is now married.

My MIL, who was from Hong Kong, actually tried to lay the pressure on me to propose to my then-gf as well. But I mostly either just ignored her, or joked about it because I never believed she should have any say or influence on me and my then-gf's relationship, or our timeline on things.

Quote:
I am a scientific and logical person but the way she pleaded with me so emotionally and the fact that I am easily swayed by other people seeded doubts in my mind if this could possibly be true. I became extremely stressed
Your incident here reminded me of the time when le wifey first gave birth to our newborn, and was going through a really tough round of baby blues / breast feeding difficulties / sleep deprivation and general postpartum stress. At the time, the MIL was chiming in a lot, usually in some form of unsolicited advice and typical Cantonese criticism. I had to step in to cut her off because what she was doing was adding even more stress for le wifey. In haha13's case, I would also encourage you to stick to your guns and set your boundaries with your parents if they are going to be irrational about anything.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by westopher View Post
The whole world has gone down a road no one can recover from, and it's nothing to do with governments, it's because so much of the general public is so fucking stupid.
Traum is offline   Reply With Quote
This post thanked by: