[Traum]

For me, the biggest thing I would have told my late 20's / early 30's self about marriage and finding a partner is -- talk about your future and family plans, and don't waste time -- as in, don't waste your time nor her time.

At the time, the girls I was involved with didn't really have their future / family plans aligned with mine. I knew I had always wanted a family (ie. with kids), but that was not always the case with the girls I was dating. Some weren't sure what they wanted to do (yet). Others straight up didn't want any kids. It was not a matter of whether we were in love or not. But the issue drove a wedge between us, and at a minimum, that was not healthy for the relationship. In some cases, I was naively hoping and waiting for the girl to change her thinking. In hindsight, that was time wasted for both persons in the relationship.

In some cases, after we broke up, the girl eventually met someone else and became a mom. I dunno what circumstances led to that, and I am not going to speculate. But as far as our relationship was concerned, we wasted each others' time since our goals did not align, and time is something you can never get back once it is gone.