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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex... |
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02-23-2013, 01:28 PM
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#1 | | NOOB, Not Quite a Regular!
Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Richmond
Posts: 43
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| Sharing Best Practices (relationships)
With all the stuff on here about problems and helping others, I thought it would be nice to share what works in your relationships and to share those best practices.
And example would be:
"Don't go to bed angry" and then some details such as "We make an agreement to discuss and talk about everything and resolve things before we go to sleep. Even if we're tired we stay up solving the issue because the relationship is that important.
I don't mind sharing one to start off with.
I personally believe in not saying anything hurtful to the other person in an argument. It is so hard to do this but once you say something, you can never unsay those words again and it can come back and bite you. If I am really mad or upset, I just explain the reality of things:
"I'm really upset right now and I don't want to make matters worse. I need about an hour or so to cool off and I will address this situation when I can think rationally and without hurting you. Is that okay?"
Of course the other party needs to be aware of what needs to happen and of course the 1 hour rule can't turn into a day or anything like that.
I find for me, it has worked well and enabled me to really get to the root of the problem and talk things out like adults. Often once I've had some time to think, I calm down and it's not a big deal anymore.
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02-23-2013, 10:28 PM
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#2 | | Mod.
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: east vanner
Posts: 7,134
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i make sure my hands don't have any calluses on them. it's a pretty good relationship if you ask me.   | |
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02-24-2013, 04:27 PM
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#3 | | reads most threads with his pants around his ankles, especially in the Forced Induction forum.
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,645
Thanked 2,191 Times in 1,131 Posts
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If the person you are dating is a long term partner and you see yourself being with them for life. I suggest telling them the one thing you don't want anyone to find out (IE financial issue). Something you feel really unconfortable talking to anyone about.
For me is my financial. I have a pretty bad past and is something I wouldn't want anyone to know. Is something I will tell my partner. Is something I am ashamed of..... a big mistake I made in the past.
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02-24-2013, 05:35 PM
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#4 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 2,777
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.HappySilp  If the person you are dating is a long term partner and you see yourself being with them for life. I suggest telling them the one thing you don't want anyone to find out (IE financial issue). Something you feel really unconfortable talking to anyone about.
For me is my financial. I have a pretty bad past and is something I wouldn't want anyone to know. Is something I will tell my partner. Is something I am ashamed of..... a big mistake I made in the past. | Oooh, this is a hard one especially if you have something that needs to be buried.
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02-24-2013, 07:38 PM
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#5 | | Wunder? Wonder?? Wander???
Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: eVan
Posts: 228
Thanked 42 Times in 27 Posts
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cant tell if this is a joe 45 thread but ill bite
I dont always get into fights with the mrs but when I do I dont back down. I usually offer to talk out a problem but she usually goes into silent mode. I acknowledge her behavior then I play along. She loses all the time.
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02-24-2013, 07:39 PM
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#6 | | 14 dolla balla aint got nothing on me!
Join Date: May 2011 Location: 1966 Mustang
Posts: 617
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Full disclosure
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02-24-2013, 07:48 PM
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#7 | | MiX iT Up!
Join Date: May 2006 Location: vancouver
Posts: 8,133
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communicate as if today was the last time you will see them.
listen to what they say and request they dont hint (if you are not good at taking hints)
apologize and mean it not just to shut them up
be the bigger man/woman and dont bring past issues into the present
when the issue is being resolved do something to make them smile - it'll be resolved quicker.
__________________
Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who couldn't give up on them.
Make the effort and take the risk..
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." - Eleanor Roosevelt | |
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02-24-2013, 11:37 PM
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#8 | | Rs has made me the man i am today!
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Langley
Posts: 3,493
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Whenever we get into an argument about something, I won't say anything hurtful to her, ie. calling her a bitch/cunt/asshole...etc.
there's many other words and ways i can say it to basically say the same thing, but not as hurtful. At the end when it's starting to cool down (arguments only last 2-5 minutes with us) ill usually make her smile.
Ex. Me - "your such a tard...  "
Her - "me?? Your the tard...."
Me - "yeah...maybe...but I'm your tard "
Saying it as playful as I can to make her smile. Just an easy way for us to both realize we're bickering about something stupid and its now in the past. Posted via RS Mobile | |
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02-25-2013, 12:36 AM
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#9 | | reads most threads with his pants around his ankles, especially in the Forced Induction forum.
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,645
Thanked 2,191 Times in 1,131 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by stewie Whenever we get into an argument about something, I won't say anything hurtful to her, ie. calling her a bitch/cunt/asshole...etc.
there's many other words and ways i can say it to basically say the same thing, but not as hurtful. At the end when it's starting to cool down (arguments only last 2-5 minutes with us) ill usually make her smile.
Posted via RS Mobile |
True! Never say anything hurtful when you can't think clearly. I used to say the stupidest things when I argue with ppl. Now I just remain chill and try to think that it is not the person I am angry at but at what is happening. This usually helps cool me down.
Could be since I work in customer service now I have to be polite event though the other end is swearing and yelling.
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02-26-2013, 06:44 PM
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#10 | | Willing to stick a finger in a guys butt for the sake of science
Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: The Hood
Posts: 357
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This is a big one for me...
Don't hold grudges.
After you talk/fight about an issue and it's been resolved, let it go, drop it and never bring it up again in future fights.......
I tend to hold grudges and punish people slowly over time.
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[19-07, 22:39] dinosaur i have felt up ri2 before
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02-26-2013, 07:53 PM
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#11 | | Los Bastardo owned my ass at least once
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: vancouver
Posts: 6,084
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always be truthful... i hate it when girls say theres nothing wrong when shes clearly angry... shit always bite u in the end
__________________ Quote: |
[08-12, 00:25] Iceman-19 the owner was someone i knew. trusted him. that blew up in my face like i was a 19 year old jap girl at a bukkake party.
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02-27-2013, 02:24 PM
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#12 | | RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Richmond
Posts: 8,645
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the full stop in the "nothing." text means something is up.
__________________ ⇐ If I bothered replying, that's the face I made while I typed.
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03-06-2013, 11:57 PM
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#13 | | I Will not Admit my Addiction to RS
Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: richmond
Posts: 520
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Always be protective of her, always. She'll start to change her mind about you if you're not. (not always physical, emotional too.)
Always calm down before you say anything you'll regret.
Your money eventually becomes her money too. (if you're in a serious relationship) so just get over it. When she has money she'll buy things for you too.
Even if a girl comes into your life just to be friends, keep your distance. Getting too close could lead to something more.
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