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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 01-03-2009, 01:10 PM   #1
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listening to your mind rather than the heart

Out of curiosity, how many of you have chose to listen to your mind over your heart. You find everything you want in an individual but there is something about him/her that you know you'll just never be able to accept such as a smoker, drug user, or their past?

For those who have:
do you regret your decision?
do you wonder what things would be like if you chose the lather till this day?
would your decision be any different if times were reversed?

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Old 01-03-2009, 05:15 PM   #2
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This doens't really answer your question, but for people who choose what they think instead of what they feel is completely stupid. By doing that you shelter yourself from something that could be good. Albeit at the same time it could be a disaster from the bad habits or what not that turn you off. You just don't know until you try.

All my friends smoke and non of their gf's smoke. They deal with it and that's that. Liking someone or loving someone should go beyond bad habits like smoking.
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Old 01-03-2009, 06:04 PM   #3
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you should listen to both, listening to only one usually leads to disaster
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Old 01-03-2009, 06:05 PM   #4
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i agree...but some ppl just can't accept things for what they are, so they rather gamble not having something that could be. And i'm not talking about just testing waters, like the couple has dated for a period of time already, a year or two and they are living perfectly fine with it, but it's just at the end of the day one feels like the whole thing is a lie cause they just can't accept it...
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Old 01-03-2009, 07:09 PM   #5
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i trust my gut.
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Old 01-03-2009, 09:40 PM   #6
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depends sometimes u have to trust your heart and sometimes u have to trust your mind....u can't say trusting in either is wrong or right you just have to decide when to use the correct one
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Old 01-03-2009, 10:51 PM   #7
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When I used to let my emotions make the decisions for me, I wound up regretting my actions a lot. When you don't take the time to think calmly before making decisions, you often ignore the consequences to yourself or others. So now I listen to both.

Everyone has negative traits. Things like the person's past can't be changed, but the person has the capacity to change. The question isn't whether or not you will be with them despite their flaws, but whether you will accept those flaws or not, or change them. Ultimately, it's whether or not that person will love you and dedicate themselves to you so deeply that they will improve themselves for you.
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Old 01-03-2009, 11:53 PM   #8
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^^ Those are some good point there. Calm heads usually wins in any situation. The mind is your logic and your heart is just your passion. I can't say how many times where I let my emotions take over and I fucked up big time.
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Old 01-04-2009, 12:17 AM   #9
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When I used to let my emotions make the decisions for me, I wound up regretting my actions a lot. When you don't take the time to think calmly before making decisions, you often ignore the consequences to yourself or others. So now I listen to both.

Everyone has negative traits. Things like the person's past can't be changed, but the person has the capacity to change. The question isn't whether or not you will be with them despite their flaws, but whether you will accept those flaws or not, or change them. Ultimately, it's whether or not that person will love you and dedicate themselves to you so deeply that they will improve themselves for you.
I agree, thinking irrationally, usually can hurt both parties. Making an irrational decision without thinking about it can lead to unpleasant results, and over thinking can often change everything you feel. The key is just to listen to both, if your heart feels right, take the time to find out why.
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Old 01-04-2009, 03:06 AM   #10
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i followed my heart... even though my mind was correct.
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Old 01-04-2009, 11:44 AM   #11
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It really depends on the situation..
Usually following my heart ends in regret.
But listening to your mind all the time can cause you to miss out on something that could've been great.
A battle between the mind and heart is so painful =/
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Old 01-04-2009, 01:20 PM   #12
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i think nothing is stupidier the listening to your heart. so stupid i had to misspell stupider to make a point of it. If your brain is telling you hey, maybe that chick who puts out fast with a tramp stamp that loves the pussy cat dolls maybe isnt special. maybe she's as generic and avg as a person could be. but she has great tits, i mean a great personality, so i'll just listen to my 'heart' and tell myself what I wan to hear. sure why not.
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Old 01-04-2009, 01:46 PM   #13
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my heart and my mind are in alignment right now, though i wish they weren't
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Old 01-04-2009, 07:56 PM   #14
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Sometimes the mind see's things too black & white. Straight facts, cold calculations and no bs probabilities.

The heart tends to be more forgiving
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Old 01-04-2009, 09:28 PM   #15
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i listen to neither, im not ready to look for "Mrs.right" im just looking for several women to kill time until im ready to look for her
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Old 01-05-2009, 03:36 PM   #16
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Appreciate the feedback everyone. Keep em coming!

Guess it's pretty safe to say that there is no right or wrong. It's just based on past experiences where people generally lean to one more than the other.
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Old 01-05-2009, 04:03 PM   #17
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Take them both into account, compromise, and come up with the best solution keeping both opinion's in mind. Listening to the heart alone may lead into emotion filled decisions which mostly spiral to failure. Listening to the mind alone may make one overly cautious and close minded.

Most people are too scared to make mistakes and it's why they don't grow. Sometimes you just need to press forward with confidence and learn from your mistakes. Use your mind to learn from the mistakes of your heart. The more we fail, the more experience we gain, and the more we're bound to succeed.
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Old 01-06-2009, 10:30 PM   #18
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The more we fail, the more experience we gain, and the more we're bound to succeed.


like the sound of that! thanks!
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Old 01-06-2009, 11:22 PM   #19
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grey fallacy: one person says white (listen to the heart) while the other says black (listen to the brain). people hearing the conversation hear two strong arguments and assume that portions of both (grey) are correct.

In reality though, 99% of the time, one person is right, and the other is wrong. its either white, black, or neither. mixing the two ideas is a lazy way of thinking and almost always incorrect.
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Old 01-06-2009, 11:28 PM   #20
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Take them both into account, compromise, and come up with the best solution keeping both opinion's in mind. Listening to the heart alone may lead into emotion filled decisions which mostly spiral to failure. Listening to the mind alone may make one overly cautious and close minded.

Most people are too scared to make mistakes and it's why they don't grow. Sometimes you just need to press forward with confidence and learn from your mistakes. Use your mind to learn from the mistakes of your heart. The more we fail, the more experience we gain, and the more we're bound to succeed.
Nice post, seriously.
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Old 01-07-2009, 01:29 PM   #21
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when i was 16, i listened to my heart. when after tons of girls and just did stupid stuff like trying to impress her

after 18+, i listened to my cock.

now, i listen to my cock but i used my brain to filter out the probability first and deal with only those who are worthy.
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Old 01-07-2009, 02:15 PM   #22
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listen to your heart, and use your brain to attain what your heart wants.
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Old 01-07-2009, 02:47 PM   #23
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listen to both
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Old 01-07-2009, 07:37 PM   #24
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Quote:
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grey fallacy: one person says white (listen to the heart) while the other says black (listen to the brain). people hearing the conversation hear two strong arguments and assume that portions of both (grey) are correct.

In reality though, 99% of the time, one person is right, and the other is wrong. its either white, black, or neither. mixing the two ideas is a lazy way of thinking and almost always incorrect.
I agree. Once you've taken into consideration the reasons why your heart and brain are at odds, why they point at seperate choices, you'll come to see which choice is right and which is wrong.

However, you won't always pick what's right. Many people will take the risk and accept the consequences for making the wrong choice, depending on how high the risk, how severe the consequences are.

Analyze the choices > determine which is right and wrong > determine whether the wrong choice is worth it > decide
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Old 01-07-2009, 07:55 PM   #25
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I agree. Once you've taken into consideration the reasons why your heart and brain are at odds, why they point at seperate choices, you'll come to see which choice is right and which is wrong.

However, you won't always pick what's right. Many people will take the risk and accept the consequences for making the wrong choice, depending on how high the risk, how severe the consequences are.

Analyze the choices > determine which is right and wrong > determine whether the wrong choice is worth it > decide
truth
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