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01-16-2009, 12:11 AM
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#1 | | ah_some
Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: North Siiiiiide
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| Think Before You Speak...
Got an email that my dad forwarded to me.
I found it to be a bit funny. Hope this is not a repost! Quote:
Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... Or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
He knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls'
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
Walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny. So of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
Then realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No' .
I kept thinking, 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.'
Then I said, ' Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was
getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, ' Danny did you have an accident ?
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks, and yelled, 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: 'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
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__________________ www.pientertainment.com: Embassy Fridays @ Pop Opera
Live Saturdays @ Gossip CoLoRs member #19 [The Enforcer, you maggots!]
RSB #6
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01-16-2009, 12:17 AM
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#2 | | Proud to be called a RS Regular!
Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: van
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the last one was good hah
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01-16-2009, 12:36 AM
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#3 | | The sound of inevitability
Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Lindenhurst
Posts: 6,469
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|  very nice.
__________________
The only ocean creature you can call yourself is the giant squid. He's the destroyer of ships, and the eater of seamen. At least you share one of those traits. -Hypa
mixed girls that look predominatly asian with subtle caucasian features=what i'd give my left nut for
-6chr0nic4 | |
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01-16-2009, 12:36 AM
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#4 | | Director of RS Cares
Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Crayon Box
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hahahah man. i love moments like those. yeah you want to hide under a rock at the time, but what a great story to look back on years later
__________________  tiptronic: getting cut off by bicycles since 2007
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01-16-2009, 01:34 AM
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#5 | | Banned (ABWS)?
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Vancouver
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nice, pretty good read LOL
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01-16-2009, 02:57 AM
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#6 | | Wunder? Wonder?? Wander???
Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: 604
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Awesome read, really perked me up 
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2009 VW Rabbit
- Aiko
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01-16-2009, 03:22 AM
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#7 | | God of Unce
Join Date: May 2008 Location: ASOT
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LOL! Last one's hilarious! Other one's are too predictable hahahah
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01-16-2009, 03:31 AM
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#8 | | DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Vancouver
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anchorman moments are the best | |
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01-16-2009, 03:34 AM
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#9 | | Captain Happy Bubble is my Homeboy
Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Richmond
Posts: 328
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wow u n ur dad r tyte
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01-16-2009, 04:24 AM
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#10 | | RS controls my life!
Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Surrey
Posts: 707
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ahah last one was good =)
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01-16-2009, 04:41 AM
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#11 | | 無敵
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 4,319
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Haha, nice find =P
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01-16-2009, 05:14 AM
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#12 | | I *Fwap* *Fwap* *Fwap* to RS
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: BC
Posts: 1,552
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haha. they're all great! props! : )
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ƒ¹
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01-16-2009, 05:15 AM
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#13 | | I Will not Admit my Addiction to RS
Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Vancouver
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LOL the last three were good.
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01-16-2009, 08:00 AM
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#14 | | Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Surrey
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haha good read
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01-16-2009, 08:03 AM
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#15 | | I told him no, what y'all do?
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Vancouver
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lol the first and last were the funniest to me
__________________ Feedback
http://www.revscene.net/forums/showthread.php?t=611711 Quote: Greenstoner
1 rat shit ruins the whole congee
originalhypa
You cannot live the life of a whore and expect a monument to your chastity | Quote:
[22-12, 08:51]mellomandidnt think and went in straight..scrapped like a bitch
[17-09, 12:07]FastAnna glowjob
[17-09, 12:08]FastAnna I like dat
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01-16-2009, 08:22 AM
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#16 | | OWNER/C.F.O./MONEYMAN
Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Vancouver
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i remember in highschool, they were doing some fund raiser and so was selling KFC boxes for lunch. one of the guys in the class started rambling on about how hungry he was, and how he couldnt wait to get his face right into a plump juicy piece of breast (the way he looked, it was as if he was doing a KFC commercial right there himself)...
needless to say, the class had a big awkward silence, that was soon broken up with the girl that sat right in front of him giving him *the look* and she said...."errr right..."
that was a good laugh.... even the teacher burst out laughing! come to think of it, he kinda looked like Mclovin from SuperBad
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01-16-2009, 08:26 AM
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#17 | | I Will not Admit my Addiction to RS
Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Richmond
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ROFL  Remember that show "Kids say the darnest things", 5th one reminded me of it
Last edited by LemonH2O; 01-16-2009 at 08:27 AM.
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01-16-2009, 12:19 PM
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#18 | | MoD
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: a rainy city
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the pee pee one is good
it can actually happen too
damn kids
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01-16-2009, 12:23 PM
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#19 | | What hasn't Killed me, has made me more tolerant of RS!
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: vancity
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got a good laugh out of these...thanks
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01-16-2009, 12:29 PM
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#20 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: North Vancouver
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good read thanks man!!!
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01-16-2009, 12:48 PM
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#21 | | Need my Daily Fix of RS
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Vancouver
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Hahahah
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01-16-2009, 12:59 PM
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#22 | | To me, there is the Internet and there is RS
Join Date: May 2001 Location: 604
Posts: 16,870
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hilarious stuff
i have a friend that always speak before she thinks, always a good laugh at her expense, but a good laugh none the less
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01-16-2009, 01:21 PM
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#23 | | I am on the internets
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Vancouver
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the last one was the best
__________________
"As Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'There is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'.
And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at Keira Knightley.
She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works." - JC on the Alfa 8C
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01-16-2009, 01:36 PM
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#24 | | I answer every Emotion with an emoticon
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 7,760
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hahahaha, those r funny
__________________
Ignorance is bliss
How I wish I can remain ignorant, why do I know so much?
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01-16-2009, 01:46 PM
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#25 | | x_x
Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 964
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the last one was golden. HAHA
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