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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 03-16-2009, 09:02 AM   #76
DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rk604 View Post
+1, Agreed

Doesn't hurt to try, you get one life, and heck you'd probably only see them once so why not just try. You'll get the jist of how they're like. In the end you looks only go so far...personality is better for the long run (NOTE: not saying that ugly as f*ck will do)
Agree...and disagree.
True, looks are important, but not biological looks. You can't do anything about biological looks (save plastic surgery). The things that you CAN do for yourself mean a lot more (ex. Your weight, your style, your posture etc). Being stylish and carrying yourself through your body language weighs far more than your biological looks do.
There's a major difference between being good looking and being well-kempt. I would say the scale is 20% biological looks 80% the rest.
Coupled with a genuine personality, just about any guy could get any girl.

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Old 03-16-2009, 10:51 AM   #77
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Agree...and disagree.
True, looks are important, but not biological looks. You can't do anything about biological looks (save plastic surgery). The things that you CAN do for yourself mean a lot more (ex. Your weight, your style, your posture etc). Being stylish and carrying yourself through your body language weighs far more than your biological looks do.
There's a major difference between being good looking and being well-kempt. I would say the scale is 20% biological looks 80% the rest.
Coupled with a genuine personality, just about any guy could get any girl.
damn i couldnt have said it any better
100% agreed!

some guys who have the biological looks .are as dull as a rusty nail
theres no appeal
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Old 03-16-2009, 04:16 PM   #78
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i don't think every hot girl is that stuck up. i'm pretty sure some are nice but i don't think you should be meeting them at clubs. maybe somewhere else??
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Old 03-16-2009, 04:29 PM   #79
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girls need to stop acting like they dont love the attention
like why do you go clubbing dressed like a ho and then try to act bitchy to ward off guys or try to come across as not being easy

not saying there arnt exceptions, but not every guy that talks to you is looking to get in your pants
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Old 03-21-2009, 01:34 PM   #80
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girls need to stop acting like they dont love the attention
like why do you go clubbing dressed like a ho and then try to act bitchy to ward off guys or try to come across as not being easy

not saying there arnt exceptions, but not every guy that talks to you is looking to get in your pants
LOL well eventually you do want to get in their pants hahaha
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Old 03-21-2009, 01:42 PM   #81
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Originally Posted by Physixx View Post
Agree...and disagree.
True, looks are important, but not biological looks. You can't do anything about biological looks (save plastic surgery). The things that you CAN do for yourself mean a lot more (ex. Your weight, your style, your posture etc). Being stylish and carrying yourself through your body language weighs far more than your biological looks do.
There's a major difference between being good looking and being well-kempt. I would say the scale is 20% biological looks 80% the rest.
Coupled with a genuine personality, just about any guy could get any girl.
i kinda disagree. its less a split and more what works for different people. soem people dont need to work out or anything cause biologically they have a super fast metabolism and have attractive symmetrical faces like that. other people dont but have to work harder. id say for most people its one or the other as opposed to a split of both.
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Old 03-25-2009, 03:19 AM   #82
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still reading through this thread by to reply to first posts, generally the 9s and 10s dont get approached too much. Also, a decent amoutn of them seem to have low self esteem (dont fucking get why though)

So best plan is to seriously man up and go right in with your A game. Dont be intimidated- you have less competition than you think.

Also, if one of them looks at you, dont look away wondering why they looked at you. Take advantage of any potential way to get in.

Thats all i can think of
That all being said, its not easy - I've bombed hard a few times
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Old 03-25-2009, 07:27 PM   #83
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^ Why don't 9s and 10s get approached too much? Is it intimidation? just wondering...
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Old 03-26-2009, 01:17 AM   #84
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^ Why don't 9s and 10s get approached too much? Is it intimidation? just wondering...
i think so
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Old 03-26-2009, 01:26 AM   #85
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9's and 10's don't get approached as much by theaverage guy.
They do get approached (and often) by males who portray traits of being an alpha though--which is basically any guy who can show that is he confident.
Which is why you see club sponsors, deejays, and people of the sorts being popular with the girls--because people who get into these kinds of businesses are usually outgoing and confident to begin with.

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Originally Posted by Powerslide View Post

Also, if one of them looks at you, dont look away wondering why they looked at you. Take advantage of any potential way to get in.

Thats all i can think of
That all being said, its not easy - I've bombed hard a few times
I second this. It's a good thing to keep in mind.
Before I knew how to approach, I would always try to analyze everything in my head before I would make the slightest move. Like what should I say, where should I put my hands when I'm talking, who do I talk to first (if she's in a group--and attractive women are usually found in groups), etc.
I soon found out though, the more time I spent thinking, the more afraid I got. Eventually, I would just chicken out because I over analyzed the situation. Equally likely, is that while you're raking your brains on how to approach, they simply move away to somewhere more fun.

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Old 03-26-2009, 01:46 AM   #86
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i kinda disagree. its less a split and more what works for different people. soem people dont need to work out or anything cause biologically they have a super fast metabolism and have attractive symmetrical faces like that. other people dont but have to work harder. id say for most people its one or the other as opposed to a split of both.
True.
But this is the way I (personally) look at it:

If you're born biologically better looking, or with favored characteristics like the ones you mentioned, then great. This on top of what you can do for yourself (better posture, clear speech, good sense of humor, etc.) will bring you long ways. Because you gotta realize, a good looking guy can be transformed into a GREAT looking guy if he had the same atmosphere guys like Orlando Bloom or Robbert Pattinson has. If you look at the two individuals (perhaps from a photo in high school), more likely than not, they're not the most attractive guys in the world. They're not bad, but they're definitely not something Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfiger would fight over for.

As for the less-attractive guys, since you can't do anything about your biological looks,
why not compensate what you don't have for something that you could have? Things like keeping up with fashion trends, having a good haircut, smelling good when you go out in public, shaving, etc.

The rest, is all personality.

Because what are we really? If you look at it from a logical perspective, we are simply some good genes or some bad genes mixed in with some good habits or some bad habits.
Since there are no genes for being "confident" or being "cool", everything else must come from our habits then (think of twins who have the same genotypes with very different personalities).

A guy with good genes and good habits are the ones that come out on the very top--guys like Matt Gordon, who is genuinely good looking, and has the proper charisma for Calvin Klein models.

A guy with good genes and bad habits doesn't fare so well. Think of somebody like Brad Pitt not shaving and showering for a month and smelling like a sewer with habits of a complete slob. No matter how good looking he is, nobody will be attracted to him.
Needles to say, a guy with bad genes and bad habits are the furthest down the ladder. Not only are they genuinely NOT good looking, they also have a lifetime of bad habits.

However, a guy with bad genes and GOOD habits can easily be turned into a semi-attractive guy. Take a basement-dwelling computer nerd, give him a new haircut, some stylish clothes, a better posture, and some contact lenses, and he won't stand out like Edison Chan, but at least girls would look at him and say "sure I don't mind hanging around this guy, or even possibly date him."

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Old 03-26-2009, 02:21 AM   #87
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Phyisxx has some good points because he's talking about details and presence.

In my opinion it comes down to who walks the best. I know that sounds stupid, but have you ever seen someone who looks amazing in a photo and then seen them walk around without grace? Its like the details arent there - when they move you can tell. Inversely, have you ever seen someone who looked average in a photo, but when you met them in real life they were captivating?

Sean Connery used to be a working class Scottish bricklayer. When he seriously got into acting, he spent years studying fundamentals of movement of the human body. He studied to understand how bodies move in relationship to their environment and situation. I know he's getting old now, but watch Sean Connery - he has a grace about him that is the product of years of practice. After he mastered the details, they became a part of his overall presence. He doesnt have to think about them, they are a part of him.

From an article I read: "...Sean took lessons in the technique of wordless communication and the adequate rhythm, based on the concept of movement by the Hungarian dancer Rudolf von Laban with the Swede Yat Malmgren, a former dancer of the Kurt Joos Ballet Ensemble. Connery's distinctive way of walking and moving dates back to this time. It is said that it fascinated the Bond producers Harry Saltzman and Albert R. Broccoli to the point that it was decisive in their offering him the leading role of 007."

Its all in the details, work on the important ones and make them habitual, then you will have an edge over anyone - regardless of whether or not they came fully loaded from the factory, so to speak

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Old 03-26-2009, 02:26 AM   #88
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Old 03-26-2009, 02:32 AM   #89
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Also one more thing I need to add, although it might sound a bit strange - you need to internalize teachings and habits.

If you followed the same steps as Sean Connery did and studied the same books, there's a good chance that you wouldnt end up just like Sean Connery. You have to select techniques and habits that work with who you are.

Same for fashion - have you ever seen people who are decked out in 'stylish' clothing but look uncomfortable? You need to select from what is stylish and match it to what works with your own personality etc

Anyone can learn anything from a book, course, or teacher, but to master it you need to combine it with the way you intuitively do things already. The product of this combination will be a unique style for every person, that has the core attributes and hallmarks of the original teachings. Something to think about.
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Old 03-26-2009, 03:10 AM   #90
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Phyisxx has some good points because he's talking about details and presence.

In my opinion it comes down to who walks the best. I know that sounds stupid,
but have you ever seen someone who looks amazing in a photo and then seen them walk around without grace? Its like the details arent there - when they move you can tell. Inversely, have you ever seen someone who looked average in a photo, but when you met them in real life they were captivating?
It doesn't sound stupid. It makes complete sense.
Body language is the most important factor in any social surrounding. If you can carry yourself like a champ and that you're having fun, then, regardless of whether or not you are actually having fun, people will believe that too.

For me, what I've been doing is I've been getting into the habit of walking into the bar room with a big confident smile, upright, and greeting everybody along the way on my way in.
Like you so promptly put it, it sounds like a "stupid" thing to do. But the energy level at which you're carrying yourself at automatically makes people want to get closer to you (regardless of whether or not they actually do).
It's just the classic saying, everybody wants to be down with the guy on top of the stairs. If you can look like that guy, then you're already a step ahead in approaching a girl without having to say a single word.

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Also one more thing I need to add, although it might sound a bit strange - you need to internalize teachings and habits.

If you followed the same steps as Sean Connery did and studied the same books, there's a good chance that you wouldnt end up just like Sean Connery. You have to select techniques and habits that work with who you are.

Same for fashion - have you ever seen people who are decked out in 'stylish' clothing but look uncomfortable? You need to select from what is stylish and match it to what works with your own personality etc

Anyone can learn anything from a book, course, or teacher, but to master it you need to combine it with the way you intuitively do things already. The product of this combination will be a unique style for every person, that has the core attributes and hallmarks of the original teachings. Something to think about.
Again, I agree.
Internalizing what works for you is important.
Internalizing is synonymous to making it part of your personality. Nobody likes a faker. If what "works" for you isn't portrayed through your personality, but simply as a "tool" you're using to get popular, then eventually people will feel like you're just pawning them--because you're not being genuine.
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Old 03-26-2009, 03:27 AM   #91
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way to go physixx!!
now if you'll excuse me while I condense your main points in keynote form

**feverishly starts writing notes down on paper**
seems like you took the analytical approach which is good because when you take the time to sit down and think about it we're just biologically driven to mate slash fuck. I guess it boils down to how bad you want it. Some guys just don't have the drive but with a little willpower you could be looking on the bright side. When I see average guys with smoking hot chicks I get jealous but what guy doesn't. Those are the guys I'd wanna hang out at the bar with.
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Old 03-26-2009, 11:33 AM   #92
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if you're genuinely having fun, girls will pick up on that and want to be around you, or if you're ridiculously really really good looking like powerslide
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Old 03-26-2009, 05:39 PM   #93
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way to go physixx!!
now if you'll excuse me while I condense your main points in keynote form

**feverishly starts writing notes down on paper**
seems like you took the analytical approach which is good because when you take the time to sit down and think about it we're just biologically driven to mate slash fuck. I guess it boils down to how bad you want it. Some guys just don't have the drive but with a little willpower you could be looking on the bright side. When I see average guys with smoking hot chicks I get jealous but what guy doesn't. Those are the guys I'd wanna hang out at the bar with.
For me, it was a drive turned into a hobby.

^I used to be just like that.
But then I realized, I not only just want to hang out with him at the bar, I want to be him at the bar.

This was something like two and a half years ago. Back then, I was still a greasy high school kid obsessed with cellphones and running around every day meeting guys from the mobile phone BST (and many users can attest to this).
After a while, I decided that if that guy could get pretty girls, then I could get pretty girls too--because compared to him, I may not be better-looking, but I'm certainly not worse-looking.
So I started realizing things he had that I didn't: he was confident, he smiled a lot, he had a good fashion sense, a great sense of humor, and he connected with just about anybody.
These traits combined, I later found out, were things that separated the sharks from the sheep. I also realized, none of these traits had to do with my genetics--so if he could do it, I could do it too.

When I finally started internalizing these things into my system, the results were great. And my original drive fueled by will-power turned into a drive fueled by the results--a hobby of sorts.

And I'm actually still not the best at this by any means. Putting it down into text is one thing, but the actual process is something different entirely.
Simply put, let's just say I can talk the talk and I can walk the walk, but I talk slightly better than I walk.
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Old 03-27-2009, 12:43 PM   #94
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Wow, this is great. Great discussion you've got going! Thanks!
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Old 03-27-2009, 12:53 PM   #95
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For me, it was a drive turned into a hobby.

^I used to be just like that.
But then I realized, I not only just want to hang out with him at the bar, I want to be him at the bar.

This was something like two and a half years ago. Back then, I was still a greasy high school kid obsessed with cellphones and running around every day meeting guys from the mobile phone BST (and many users can attest to this).
After a while, I decided that if that guy could get pretty girls, then I could get pretty girls too--because compared to him, I may not be better-looking, but I'm certainly not worse-looking.
So I started realizing things he had that I didn't: he was confident, he smiled a lot, he had a good fashion sense, a great sense of humor, and he connected with just about anybody.
These traits combined, I later found out, were things that separated the sharks from the sheep. I also realized, none of these traits had to do with my genetics--so if he could do it, I could do it too.

When I finally started internalizing these things into my system, the results were great. And my original drive fueled by will-power turned into a drive fueled by the results--a hobby of sorts.

And I'm actually still not the best at this by any means. Putting it down into text is one thing, but the actual process is something different entirely.
Simply put, let's just say I can talk the talk and I can walk the walk, but I talk slightly better than I walk.
i'm glad that ur one of the few guys who believe that biological looks dont matter a well deserve props to u haha
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Old 03-27-2009, 05:48 PM   #96
DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
 
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i'm glad that ur one of the few guys who believe that biological looks dont matter a well deserve props to u haha
I'm a firm believer because it's happened for me--as well as many guys around me.
In almost every aspect (other than my height--6'1"), I'm just an average guy.
I'm not athletic; I'm not particularly built (in fact, I think I may be underweight for my height); I'm not a great singer or comedian; I'm not big on dropping big bills on name brands and the latest Hypebeast apparel; I don't drive a cool or expensive car; I don't come from a lot of money; and my grades are just slightly above-average at its best.

But I do have one thing right: I can observe, and on some occasions, even mimic human interactions and behavior. May it be congruence, validation, or any other types of big psychological principles--I take them, analyze them, and use the results to shape myself.
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Old 03-28-2009, 12:08 AM   #97
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Phyisxx has some good points because he's talking about details and presence.

In my opinion it comes down to who walks the best. I know that sounds stupid, but have you ever seen someone who looks amazing in a photo and then seen them walk around without grace? Its like the details arent there - when they move you can tell. Inversely, have you ever seen someone who looked average in a photo, but when you met them in real life they were captivating?

Sean Connery used to be a working class Scottish bricklayer. When he seriously got into acting, he spent years studying fundamentals of movement of the human body. He studied to understand how bodies move in relationship to their environment and situation. I know he's getting old now, but watch Sean Connery - he has a grace about him that is the product of years of practice. After he mastered the details, they became a part of his overall presence. He doesnt have to think about them, they are a part of him.

From an article I read: "...Sean took lessons in the technique of wordless communication and the adequate rhythm, based on the concept of movement by the Hungarian dancer Rudolf von Laban with the Swede Yat Malmgren, a former dancer of the Kurt Joos Ballet Ensemble. Connery's distinctive way of walking and moving dates back to this time. It is said that it fascinated the Bond producers Harry Saltzman and Albert R. Broccoli to the point that it was decisive in their offering him the leading role of 007."

Its all in the details, work on the important ones and make them habitual, then you will have an edge over anyone - regardless of whether or not they came fully loaded from the factory, so to speak
True story. It's amazing how one can move can make him so fucking orgasmic.
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