REVscene - Vancouver Automotive Forum

Lacubrious · 03-17-2009, 01:40 PM

Okay, so i met this girl and we had a great first date and really hit it off.

The Problem is that she was just in town visiting. Over the past couple of months we have talked casually and from these conversations, its obvious that we are into each other.
But over the last couple of weeks we've both been busy and haven't talked as much which I think was my fault, I hadn't made as much of an effort lately.
I know that to continue progress that you've got to run with the ball.. but In the back of my mind I've been wondering if its worth pursing someone who I'm not going to see for long periods of time.

Now I probably don't know everything there is to know about her but honestly I really like this girl but am I wasting my time?

v1nce · 03-17-2009, 02:20 PM

if you both like each other it can work.

hell, i met my gf by going on the new york tour guide trip from toronto. we met at the twin towers a few weeks before 911 happened.

she lives in toronto though.

miss_crayon · 03-17-2009, 02:56 PM

a long distance relationship only works if you and the other person are willing to commit to such a relationship. it is hard and it is definitely not as easy as it looks. both of you will be thousands and thousands of miles apart and you will have to live with that fact until both of you are ready and able to be together (move to wherever one of you may be), you won't have the luxury like other couples to hang out and be there for that person emotionally/physically.

if you can't keep up communication now, think about what will happen if you both actually decide to give this LDR a go. plus, when dealing with a LDR you need to have an end goal as to what will happen between you two say, 3 months from now. or even 3 years from now. it may seem early to think that long term or talk about these things if you both especially just met, but that's the reality of a long distance relationship. you can't just say you're both gonna be together and have a "we'll deal with the issue as it comes" because you both don't have that time together to figure it out. have and make a plan for yourself and the other person. it will make things all so much more clear. if you really want to be with this person, then make it happen. distance shouldn't be the factor to make you give up on something or someone that you really want in your life.

i can tell you that LDR do work as i am in one myself. it's hard without him here with me but it will all be worth it in the end.

Culture_Vulture · 03-17-2009, 08:35 PM

LDR's are tough.
I'm not in the right shoes to say because I've pretty much lost all emotions when it comes to long-term relationships, but I would say it's not worth it.

You're a guy, she's a girl, you both have biological needs.
When these needs come (and they do build up, even with your right hand around), it's hard to predict what will happen.

aurorastone · 03-17-2009, 09:46 PM

LDRs are extremely hard unless you're the type of couple who only sees each other like once a week even if you live in the same city. It's especially hard when you guys don't have that solid relationship foundation built too and when you don't have that trust and communication in place.

How far away does she live and how often can you or her visit each other? All this stuff needs to be clearly communicated before you even think of being in a LDR.

I was in one and it didn't work out. Eventually the guy lost interest cause I wasn't there even though I visited pretty often....once every 1 or 2 months.

Girl · 03-18-2009, 02:41 PM

LDR will end in cheating/paranoia or one of you guys have to make the sacrifice and move or else it'll never work.

taylor192 · 03-20-2009, 12:07 PM

My 20 month LDR ended when I moved to Vancouver last year from Ottawa.

It was hard yet there's definitely ways to make it easier:
- first realize that if you can only see each other once a month, that's probably not enough to fulfill physical needs. We left our relationship open, and sure it had moments of jealousy, yet with communication all was worked out.
- setup phone dates. We picked a couple TV to watch together while chatting.
- its gotta end, when and how? Without discussing that its going to be frustrating. My end date was waiting for a substantial bonus from work before I could leave Ottawa, and I wanted to leave Ottawa anyways.
- txt msg and email often. Easy to stay in touch this way, no excuses for going days without connecting.

BlackV62K2 · 03-20-2009, 01:22 PM

I think since you 2 only really started dating, LDR will be really tough. If you had been going out with this girl for awhile now and say one of you had to move away, you can make it work.

q0192837465 · 03-20-2009, 03:02 PM

Try finding someone else. It's possible but not probable

achiam · 04-01-2009, 11:39 AM

Both of you MUST get blackberries. The BBM is key to LDRs.

BoneThug · 04-01-2009, 11:40 AM

auto-pass.

not worth it.

muteki · 04-01-2009, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by taylor192

My 20 month LDR ended when I moved to Vancouver last year from Ottawa.

It was hard yet there's definitely ways to make it easier:
- first realize that if you can only see each other once a month, that's probably not enough to fulfill physical needs. We left our relationship open, and sure it had moments of jealousy, yet with communication all was worked out.
- setup phone dates. We picked a couple TV to watch together while chatting.
- its gotta end, when and how? Without discussing that its going to be frustrating. My end date was waiting for a substantial bonus from work before I could leave Ottawa, and I wanted to leave Ottawa anyways.
- txt msg and email often. Easy to stay in touch this way, no excuses for going days without connecting.

Sounds about right, knowing that the LD may never end doesn't really give the relationship itself much hope.

happytoro · 04-01-2009, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackV62K2

I think since you 2 only really started dating, LDR will be really tough. If you had been going out with this girl for awhile now and say one of you had to move away, you can make it work.

+1

If there isn't much of a foundation than it's going to fall apart really quickly.

Baley · 04-02-2009, 09:54 PM

depends on what both of you guys want in the long run.
if u guys are into each other enough to continue even when theres that long distance thing and that can really be a hard thing to deal with and come over in the long run.
what does she want?
What do you want?
are both of you loyal people who has good self control?

HollyZ32 · 04-05-2009, 07:14 PM

I think long distance can work
if you have alot in commen with the girl then go for it
sure you go through the whole missing them and not being able to see them as much downer stage but if you like her enough in the end ..its totally worth it
My boyfriend lives in Calgary it sucks but like i said
if you care about the person enough nothing is impossible hard but not impossible
and besides it just makes your relationship stronger and if you stick with each other it truely shows how much you care about each other

HappyDorky · 04-06-2009, 07:06 AM

Love can wait no matter how long the time is,

It isn't love if you dont see her for a while, and all of a sudden you lose feelings for her,

i may be a bit supersticious but i believe everyone has their own destined partner, no matter how far or how close they are,

, use the time you have to see if you can endure with this relationship.

try and be commited and the results would be great.