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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 03-29-2009, 11:39 PM   #1
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Seducing an older woman

Ok Im curious about this one
im 24, and this girl is 30
she has shown decent interest, and I think i could escalate it
the only problem is that she's an established professional and im just finishing school. She recently broke up with her boyfriend and is on the hunt.

I've been considering how I could approach this situation. I've re-assured myself Im not out of my league, but cant help but feel a bit intimidated. I dont have any of the baller status stuff that an established 30yo male might have - i no longer drive my own car, moved home temporarily (i'm out again in 2 months but still at home to finish the term ATM), and work a variety of somewhat lucrative part time jobs.

suggestions?

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Old 03-30-2009, 12:16 AM   #2
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Just know yourself and be confident in yourself. I think a woman will care less regardless of the car you drive unless it was a serious shit box that smelled of moldy carpet.
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Old 03-30-2009, 12:23 AM   #3
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At her age she will see right through any games you try to play with her.
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Old 03-30-2009, 12:57 AM   #4
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Wow 30 is considered "old" now?
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Old 03-30-2009, 01:33 AM   #5
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she knows how old you are and you financial situation. dont pretend that you're hiding it from her. point being that she knows. and she's still there.

if she's prowling after a break up she probably doesnt want a relationship with you. just a validation fuck

also age is a double aged sword at this point for her. older guys always have an advantage but a young stud never hurt nobody. if anyone is out of anyones league it her. just approach it like it isn't a thing at all.
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Old 03-30-2009, 01:45 AM   #6
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dont waste her time, you guys have no chance at a future
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Old 03-30-2009, 01:56 AM   #7
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wow.. i just been through this last year

If it clicks, it will click.
but just to warn you from my personal experience:
When a woman hits 30, part of them starts to panick, especially those type that wants to settle early.

It's like there an internal clock that tells them they better find a man to settle down quick before their physical aging really start.

Even they might have feelings for you and the relationship seems to be going well, the fact that the younger guy, if he's not established financially and seems to have not settle down mentally, will seems like a risky investment of her time.
Because she might think she is 30 and time is running out, if she dates a younger guy and it doesnt work out after spending ex:2 years down the road, she will be 2 years old and physically aged more and in her head she feels she has less of a chance to find a stable established man. But for the younger guy, he is still in his mid-late twenties and thus still has a lot more time left before time is running out to settle down.

Also if she is the type that's insecured about herself or been cheated on before, the trust issue will be a big headache because she will be extra worry about the younger guy going out and flirt with younger girls that her.
Even if you ensure her she is just shitting her own pants over nothing, she might not be able to get over her own fear because she hit the magic number 30.

And you have to worry about both of you not able to fit in with each other's friends because of the age gap.

And dont be the bitch in the relationship just because she is older. you do NOT want to get whipped by a woman that is temporary disturbed by the fact she is 30 and her mental clock keeps of clicking and have crazy moodswings.

Other than that, good luck, it will be a rough ride.
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Old 03-30-2009, 01:58 AM   #8
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dont waste her time, you guys have no chance at a future
thats difficult to determine, however, going out with an older woman can be somewhat awkward, just she has a different mindset from you and she already knows whats it like to be that age you're in right now. NOW, im not saying its not do-able; its completely do-able. When I was 18 I had 2 good months with a 22 yr old, of course I knew that it wouldn't work out simply because she already finished her degree and was working where I just finished my first year.

Anyways, you can approach the situation just be being yourself and expressing interest. She's older than you and already had guys hit on her before. Best you could do is be upfront, tell her you want to take her out, and at the same time be confident about it. Being 24 and confident is much sexier to an older woman than some 30yr old who isn't. Then at the very end of the date you can put it in her butt.
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the guys over at lambo vancouver said there are 60-70 pre-orders already. don't quote me though.
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Old 03-30-2009, 02:11 AM   #9
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dont waste her time, you guys have no chance at a future
who says he cares
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Old 03-30-2009, 05:53 AM   #10
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I'm glad this popped up,
because this was a problem I had in the past (although the numbers were quite a bit lower), so maybe I can be of some help.

"Age" differences are what I consider a problem only to the "inner game". That is, one of the most important factors to take into consideration with your age is how YOU present yourself.
If you ACT like your age is disqualifying you from her list then she will definitely see this and write you off.
There are some key points that people subconsciously look for when gauging someones maturity (reflection of age). If you try to take "your spin" on everything, you will show that your maturity level and your age are unparalleled.

1. Comprehension of "Adult" Situations - I know this sounds cliche, but you'll have to step into her mind before you could step into her world. Just because you're both technically "adults", it doesn't mean that you're on the same level of intelligence--especially because she's had a good 6 years that you didn't have to prepare her for the physical and emotional state that she is in right now. For example, if you don't have a passion for a certain career yet, you should not make a mockery out of hers--because she already knows what she wants in life. Doing so will demonstrate that you do not have the maturity inside of you to appreciate her; as such, she'll automatically disqualify you from the date ladder.

2. Personal Direction - Compared to her, you might not have a clear idea as to where you are headed--or even what you want in life. This isn't to say you need to know exactly what you want to do with yourself, but at your age (and I'll use this loosely because I'm not there yet), you should at least have a general direction and roadmap established. When you don't have these a woman is very apt to write you off as immature/young; because remember, all women find ambitious men attractive.

3. Personal/Sexual Confidence - Sexual intimidation was what happened to me. Back when I was in 11th grade or so, I was ridiculously attracted to college girls (still am). However, I was sexually intimidated by girls who knew more than me, and who had more sexual experiences than me. Being sexually confident means having to be socially and sexually accepted, and that you know how to "do it". If you act like your comfortable with who you are because you don't let your ages conflict with your confidence, then you're going to see better reactions from her. A "man" knows who he is and knows how to please a women. Women associate age with not being able to do this (I know because this happened to me).

The all-around best way to avoid your youth "segregating" you is displaying your "inner game" prior to displaying your age.
Make her think, "This guy sure is mature for being only 24," or "He seems like he knows a lot about the world," or things along those lines.

I'm in a hurry, so I'm not going to bother proofreading.
G'luck OP.

-Physixx
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Old 03-30-2009, 06:14 AM   #11
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As an afterthought,

"seducing" is such a horrible word.
but I love it.
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Old 03-30-2009, 07:00 AM   #12
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i no longer drive my own car
If I were a girl that there quote would be a deal breaker for me.
Are you driving your parents vehicle. Just wondering why a 24yr old doesn't have his own car? Do you take public transportation? I wouldn't bank on the old reliable translink buses/skytrain to service you and your date. Taxi's are hella expensive. Unless you right in the heart of the downtown core I don't see dating would be feasible. Nobody says you have to drive the ballest car out there but a girl is going to respect you far more for you owning a car than to be driving a car that isn't yours.
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Old 03-30-2009, 08:14 AM   #13
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age aint nothing but a # and just cuz she's 30 doesnt mean she acts 30, she could still act 19.
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Old 03-30-2009, 08:20 AM   #14
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if she still acts 19, i think OP would have sealed the deal by now
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Old 03-30-2009, 09:24 AM   #15
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My age was a turnoff to my current GF (she's 40, I'm 30). She expected much less maturity, and only gave me a chance cause I have my life together: education, career, house, ...

For the OP, I doubt the possibility of success, yet that's not to say some good times cannot be had
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Old 03-30-2009, 09:39 AM   #16
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For the OP, I doubt the possibility of success, yet that's not to say some good times cannot be had
Quoted for truth. haha good luck OP
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the guys over at lambo vancouver said there are 60-70 pre-orders already. don't quote me though.
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Old 03-30-2009, 09:59 AM   #17
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Coo coo cachoo, Mrs. Robinson?
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Old 03-30-2009, 11:28 AM   #18
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age aint nothing but a # and just cuz she's 30 doesnt mean she acts 30, she could still act 19.
god, that would suck
a 30 year old acting like a 19 year old
why not get a 19 year old that acts like a 19 year old
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Old 03-30-2009, 11:45 AM   #19
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kinda reminds me of ashton kutcher and demi moore...he's like under 30 and she's like a cougar
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Old 03-30-2009, 11:49 AM   #20
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god, that would suck
a 30 year old acting like a 19 year old
why not get a 19 year old that acts like a 19 year old
so she would work on you till you finally ask her to marry you?
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Old 03-30-2009, 11:51 AM   #21
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so she would work on you till you finally ask her to marry you?
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Old 03-30-2009, 12:24 PM   #22
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go out for drinks somewhere. go back to her place. bone. thats all you gotta do man. it doesnt even have to be that hard. you can bring a bottle of something to her place and probably get trashed there. you're the stress relief. she wants the fun of getting to dress up but not the hastles. she wants to hear the younger stuff that you do that she never gets to anymore but she doesnt want to get pulled into any of it her self. she just wants to have fun. so have fun with her. it should be one of the easiest projects you've everr had.
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Old 03-30-2009, 02:35 PM   #23
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It is going to be hard to act yourself....because you know for a fact that she is older and in the back of your mind you will always try to be more serious or what have you to appear more mature.

But in the end it really doesn't matter because it depends on what she wants.....she can probably see right through you and she knows what she is getting herself into if she goes out with you. Especially since she just broke up....so don't take anything too seriously and just have a good time.....~
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Old 03-30-2009, 02:48 PM   #24
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I agree. It doesn't sound like she's looking for a relationship, but just a fling to remind her that she's still got "it". Don't look too much into it.
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Old 03-30-2009, 04:14 PM   #25
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shit. i reread what you wrote and realized i completely read it wrong..
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