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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 04-01-2009, 02:03 AM   #1
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[Confidential] Whats there to do?


The following is an Anonymous submission from a Revscene member. If the OP would like to respond to anything said in this thread, please PM me.


I have been dating my SO for 1 and a half years and I have two problems I need help with:

1. Recently she started not wearing make up when she comes over. She's cute with make up, she uses foundation, blush, and mascara. It has a really natural look to it but without make up I feel abit tricked and turned off, still kinda cute I guess. I feel bad for feeling that way but what can I do?

2. I feel she's a really insecure girl. She asks alot of question and needs reassurance all the time. She asks stuff like "did you like your ex more" or "if you could date her would you pick her over me" and etc...! Don't know what to do, her ex cheated on her and even though she admits its unfair if she gets all insecure on me, she still does it.

I'm really into my SO, we have such awesome times together when she has her make up on and not asking me insecure questions. Don't get me wrong, it's not as if I like her less after seeing her natural face or the constant questioning...but I have a short temper and it's so irratating that it drives me nuts sometimes.

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Old 04-01-2009, 02:56 AM   #2
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although i do agree that couples shouldn't stop caring about themselves and looking their best as a relationship grows/deepens, at the end of the day if you can't love her without feeling "tricked and turned off" with the way she naturally looks, then perhaps this girl isn't for you. i also think you're feeling this way because it's the fact that she's being so insecure that she's looking less shiny in your eyes.

do you feel this way even when she has her makeup on? or how about when she has it off but is not complaining?
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Old 04-01-2009, 03:23 AM   #3
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"we have such awesome times together when she has her make up on"

so do you not have a good time when she doesn't have her makeup on?!

maybe the way you act due to problem #1 is contributing to the way she acts in problem #2
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Old 04-01-2009, 05:20 AM   #4
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I do agree couples need to keep up with their look...even the relationship is so stable,
girls can't tolerate guys to dress like shit. I can see my gf's expression when the day I
dress good and when the day I come out straight from the bed, so yeah, I tend to dress
properly everyday. It's like a duty to make her feel great that day.

You, as a bf, should be more considerate, it's not fun spending an hour putting makeup
every morning. I would tell my gf to stop doing that on weekend so she can have some
sleep. So I think you are a bastard.


For #2, don't blame her. She feels insecure, probably you are not the type of person
she feels secure going out with. You shouldn't ask us what SHE should do, it's YOU that
have to ask yourself what should do. Telling from way you speak in #1, I bet any girl will
feel the same when going out with you.
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Old 04-01-2009, 05:32 AM   #5
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"tricked and turned off" ?
if anything, the makeup is what's tricking you.
regardless, you can't only like her when she has makeup on, that doesn't even make sense. it's like you don't even like her, for her at all.

the way your acting is probably what's making her feel insecure, heck if i was told i'm only liked when i have make up on, i'd question the entire relationship.

maybe you need to figure out whether you actually like this girl or not. there's nothing wrong with looking good for your SO but if it's necessary at all times then maybe it's the make up and not her that you like.
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Old 04-01-2009, 07:58 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by asian_XL View Post
I do agree couples need to keep up with their look...even the relationship is so stable,
girls can't tolerate guys to dress like shit. I can see my gf's expression when the day I
dress good and when the day I come out straight from the bed, so yeah, I tend to dress
properly everyday. It's like a duty to make her feel great that day.

You, as a bf, should be more considerate, it's not fun spending an hour putting makeup
every morning. I would tell my gf to stop doing that on weekend so she can have some
sleep. So I think you are a bastard.


For #2, don't blame her. She feels insecure, probably you are not the type of person
she feels secure going out with. You shouldn't ask us what SHE should do, it's YOU that
have to ask yourself what should do. Telling from way you speak in #1, I bet any girl will
feel the same when going out with you.
Couldnt have said it any better
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Old 04-01-2009, 10:00 AM   #7
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I feel for ya man.

I once dated a girl that looked great until things got stable and she thought she didn't need upkeep anymore. I only began to realize it when one day I woke up and wondered..."hey, where did your eyebrows go?"

You're not an asshole.
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Old 04-01-2009, 10:16 AM   #8
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^ Haha I knew a girl like that. Everytime it rained, her eyebrows melted away.
That's a different story though. o_O Some people look completely different with or without make up. If that's the case then you should've checked before you dated her.
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Old 04-01-2009, 10:19 AM   #9
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^^ how do you check before you date her? lol

splash water on her face
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Old 04-01-2009, 10:43 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asian_XL View Post
For #2, don't blame her. She feels insecure, probably you are not the type of person
she feels secure going out with. You shouldn't ask us what SHE should do, it's YOU that
have to ask yourself what should do. Telling from way you speak in #1, I bet any girl will
feel the same when going out with you.
agree... I mean if you don't have the heart to make her feel secure with/without make up then you have failed at being a good bf...
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Old 04-01-2009, 10:53 AM   #11
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agree... I mean if you don't have the heart to make her feel secure with/without make up then you have failed at being a good bf...
Or!!!!!!!

you can look at it as False Advertisement on her behalf. That ought to shift the responsibility of failure back to her.

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Old 04-01-2009, 11:18 AM   #12
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there is nothing that will make me think this is not an april fools day joke of some kind. nothing but pics.
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Old 04-01-2009, 12:06 PM   #13
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^^ how do you check before you date her? lol

splash water on her face
It's Vancouver, just wait for it to rain. =D
Wash the paint away, and see it's true face!!!
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Old 04-01-2009, 12:48 PM   #14
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Or!!!!!!!

you can look at it as False Advertisement on her behalf. That ought to shift the responsibility of failure back to her.

haha you break it you buy it... no refund... asian style
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I know it doesn't make my car faster... its aesthetics
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Old 04-01-2009, 01:07 PM   #15
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I would feel insecure too if the day I don't put on make-up or in bummy clothes....my bf treats me differently.....

Maybe you should take alook at what other guys think about make-up...

http://www.revscene.net/forums/make-up-and-t568577.html
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Old 04-01-2009, 01:17 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by El Bastardo View Post

2. I feel she's a really insecure girl. She asks alot of question and needs reassurance all the time. She asks stuff like "did you like your ex more" or "if you could date her would you pick her over me" and etc...! Don't know what to do, her ex cheated on her and even though she admits its unfair if she gets all insecure on me, she still does it.
The OP said its 2 separate problems...why is there a natural assumption that he is treating her differently after she stopped using make up? From reading #2, it sounds like shes always been insecure.
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Old 04-01-2009, 03:27 PM   #17
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The following is a reply from the Anonymous member

I never mentioned anything about how she looked without make up to her. Her make up is very natural and I didn't think it would make such a difference if one day she was to take it off, but I'm obviously wrong. She spends about 5 minutes putting it on and looks great. But if theres nothing that can be done than it's just a really minor thing that I can brush off.

About her insecurity, I don't think she's insecure about the whole make up thing. The make up thing is just in my head, I don't treat her differently when she takes it off or anything. The thing is that for the last 1 and half years its the same insecure questions shes asking over and over again so lately I've been snapping because I feel that I've shown I'm really into her. Sometimes shes ok sometimes she has these crazy outburst and questions me. It's great spending time with her when shes not being annoying but when she does I feel I can't breathe. It's so frustrating when she does it and we talked about it a few times and she said shes trying.
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Old 04-01-2009, 03:31 PM   #18
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"I'm really into my SO, we have such awesome times together when she has her make up on"

hahahahhahahahahhaahah
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Old 04-01-2009, 03:48 PM   #19
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Quote:
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The following is a reply from the Anonymous member

About her insecurity, I don't think she's insecure about the whole make up thing. The make up thing is just in my head, I don't treat her differently when she takes it off or anything. The thing is that for the last 1 and half years its the same insecure questions shes asking over and over again so lately I've been snapping because I feel that I've shown I'm really into her. Sometimes shes ok sometimes she has these crazy outburst and questions me. It's great spending time with her when shes not being annoying but when she does I feel I can't breathe. It's so frustrating when she does it and we talked about it a few times and she said shes trying.
Get used to it dude. Some girls are like that. I'm beginning to think that it has less to do with re-assurance, and more to do with needing some "emotional cuddling." That's why it seems to be a re-occurring issue.
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Old 04-01-2009, 04:06 PM   #20
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The following is a reply from the Anonymous member

I never mentioned anything about how she looked without make up to her. Her make up is very natural and I didn't think it would make such a difference if one day she was to take it off, but I'm obviously wrong. She spends about 5 minutes putting it on and looks great. But if theres nothing that can be done than it's just a really minor thing that I can brush off.

About her insecurity, I don't think she's insecure about the whole make up thing. The make up thing is just in my head, I don't treat her differently when she takes it off or anything. The thing is that for the last 1 and half years its the same insecure questions shes asking over and over again so lately I've been snapping because I feel that I've shown I'm really into her. Sometimes shes ok sometimes she has these crazy outburst and questions me. It's great spending time with her when shes not being annoying but when she does I feel I can't breathe. It's so frustrating when she does it and we talked about it a few times and she said shes trying.
sometimes they ask cuz they're not sure... and if you make them feel certain then they don't ask... it's a two sided effort... she needs confidence and trust in you... and you need to make the effort to show that you've never hurt her and won't ever hurt her...

do what feels right! and if what feels right is hurting her then you're both not made for each other
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Old 04-01-2009, 08:07 PM   #21
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no one is born to feel insecure...

it's like driving a domestic car, the girl feels insecure that it will break down one day,
NOT because she sucks at driving, it's the reliable problem that make her feel insecure.

well, if it's not a domestic car, let's say a corolla for example, she's gonna love it cause
she knows it is maintenance fee. She will be one happy owner, and all she needs is to
mind her own business.

are you a domestic car or corolla? think about it
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Old 04-01-2009, 08:29 PM   #22
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the steering is for shit on the corolla. i had one for a rental and felt like i was taking my life into my hands every time i drove it over 30 kph
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Old 04-01-2009, 09:12 PM   #23
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the steering is for shit on the corolla. i had one for a rental and felt like i was taking my life into my hands every time i drove it over 30 kph
you are so high maintenance, quit bitching

get yourself a Lexus
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Old 04-01-2009, 09:40 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asian_XL View Post
I do agree couples need to keep up with their look...even the relationship is so stable,
girls can't tolerate guys to dress like shit. I can see my gf's expression when the day I
dress good and when the day I come out straight from the bed, so yeah, I tend to dress
properly everyday. It's like a duty to make her feel great that day.

You, as a bf, should be more considerate, it's not fun spending an hour putting makeup
every morning. I would tell my gf to stop doing that on weekend so she can have some
sleep. So I think you are a bastard.



For #2, don't blame her. She feels insecure, probably you are not the type of person
she feels secure going out with. You shouldn't ask us what SHE should do, it's YOU that
have to ask yourself what should do. Telling from way you speak in #1, I bet any girl will
feel the same when going out with you.

XL for the win - finally a serious post from a clown!
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Make the effort and take the risk..

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Old 04-01-2009, 09:42 PM   #25
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wow.. um.. you're an idiot. Good idea you kept this confidential. Grow the fuck up?!
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