STUCK - Transition or Ask?
 

I'm kind of stuck in a position here where I don't really know what to do.

There's this girl that I met at school a few months ago. We get along quite dandy. In person we can talk for ages, and we hang out a couple times a week. We mostly talk on MSN though when not in person (I think she's one of those really shitty IM'ers though since she likes to reply with "lol," "haha," alot, and that kind of just kills the conversation). I've called her several times, but I don't think she's the type of girl that uses her phone much either (she doesn't really pick up). But since she's really shy, how exactly do I go about asking her out without creeping her?

Some of my buddies say to do try the transition thing where you just hang out a lot, and hope that she develops feelings for me. But then there's a flaw in that as she could potentially place me in the friend zone, and then I'm fucked.

I hung out with her the day before my birthday, and she got me a card (surprising since I didn't expect her to remember even if it is on Facebook). She wrote that we were great and terrific friends. My hopes kinda fell down after that, but it's to be expected since she wouldn't go out and say, "Oh yeah, want to take our relationship further?" But then again, she did get me a card, so she at least shows care?

So yeah, I think we have a pretty solid relationship, but I have no idea on how to proceed to take it a step further. Any tips? I'd love to just do the transition thing further, but some of my buddies think I'll just get further in the friend zone, and then it's all but game over. But if I ask her, I have no idea on what to say either.

Thanks

You should have been a little bit more perverted from the start under the guise of silly-non-serious-fun. It takes a certain finesse to do this though: be a rude pervert but for her to find it funny and want to play along with it.

I think you're already friendzoned. I don't really see you getting anymore of her attention she has already given without having to buy it.

GL anyways and prove me wrong :thumbsup:

see for me I wouldn't have done something like give you a card unless I liked you. Maybe if you were having a birthday celebration and I was coming, but if it were just me and you alone I would only do it if I were interested.

Don't back down from her, challenge her.

Sometimes, it's actually better to venture deeper, and not to stay conformed to what she expects from you--obviously within limits.


And yeah, I think you might be in the friend zone right now (or you might not, because I don't remember the last time I got a card from a friend), which means there isn't much left for you to do now.
The one thing that I know that works (but rarely seen it being done) is for you to surprise with something she wasn't expecting. Make her remember that she at one point, thought that you were at least a LITTLE worth pursuing. If you can show that kind of value, then you might still have a chance.
As to how, I have no clue :lol

Good luck, OP.

-Physixx

Listen to the Physixx!!

go to the club with some friends, make sure ur both pretty drunk and dance with her the whole night, bytime the end of the night comes shell feel really close to u and u can either tell her or make a move.

I just had a girl read this, she said to ask.

Jumping ladders is very difficult (http://www.laddertheory.com/)

Ask her to watch a movie at your place and try to make a move. Good luck!

Maybe I'm boring, but I was thinking of taking her to watch Earth (she's an animal freak) and then see how things go from there. I guess we'll see.

^she'd better be a BIG animal freak.
because that movie is B-O-R-I-N-G.

lol friends that are female don't give their male friends "cards" telling them they're great.

look at it this way, she's shy right? or so you say so anyways, ill take your word for it.

you think a shy girl is willing to get a card that says "I LOVE YOU" or some shit on it? yeah right, MOST GUYS DONT HAVE THE BALLS TO DO THAT, let alone a SHY girl.

yeah you shoulda made it obvious and been more flirty.
u should be more flirty and let her know.

or just ask her out in person next time u guys hang.

"what you doing next friday?"
"oh im gonna fuck another guy (just kidding, hopefully she'll be free)"
"yeah? how about I take you out for dinner?"

just see where it goes. if she asks if it's a date, just be straight up and tell her yes.
or u can play around and just be like "mmmm maybe ;) what do you think it is?"

dude you just gotta ask her, better sooner than later. or at least drop obvious hints that you like her, or else she might be completely like.. just blind to the fact that you like her.
be more flirty. invite her out for walks, or iceskating or other things that are sorta friend but slightly more romantic if u feel she's super duper shy.

or you just get her drunk that always works hahahaha!

btw, laddertheory yes. true. But I very strongly feel that it is possible for any man to jump the ladder from friendzone to fuckzone or whatever the other zone is called. it's just a lot harder for some guys than others. you just have to try your very best.

afterall, you are just trying to convince her aka manipulate her brain, to like you, which is very possible. you can reprogram any human being, some just take more effort than others. Ask a politician how you can convince people, they're the best at that sorta shit. they convince people by the masses to like them.

shit i never even thought of that till now, politicians convince people that they have the skillset and the mindset to be your great leader.

now you have to convince her that you have the skillset and mindset to be a great boyfriend/husband/etc whatever. it's a brutal world out there man, you have to kill your competition... well back in the stone age, or more commonly nowadays, you have to sell yourself and make yourself look good and better than the rest of the other dudes whether it be true or not. dog eat dog world out there. do what you gotta do.

oh one more tip, try not to ask for tips from dudes that have a bad track record or no track record, for obvious reasons.

the other dudes will tell you to do things that sound crazy or very ballsy, but that shit usually works, thats why they get chicks and the other shy guys that just do nice shit all the time don't.

you ask players how to get girls
you ask nice guys that have low track records but have super long term girlfriends, how to keep a girl. lol.

wow. ulic has great advice. do what he says.

i wouldn't get a guy a card saying he's great etc if i didn't like him. she's waiting for you to ask.

id pass if she was that shy. way too much work to get her o ut of her shell. probably a freak though.

altho that may work

but when she becomes sober she might realize u just wanted to take advantage of her

hence it may not be the right way to do things

i don't see how that is a boring idea. i think earth looks like a great movie and i can't wait to see it.

anyhow, recently i was watching dr.phil and he said (which i thought was just genius) "what we fear, we create." if you're going to constantly think you might be put into the friendzone or the relationship not working out regardless..it will happen. take everything with light steps, give yourself a breather, RELAXXXXXXXXXX. you can ask your friends for all the advice you can get, but all in all it is you that decides what you are going to do.

right now i'd just hang out with her like you said and just see how things progress. don't be too available for her (have some mystery) but show her you do care. when the time is right, you'll know whether to tell her how you feel or not. if you do tell her, just make sure you are ready for whichever answer you may get.

the fact that she wrote FRIEND in the card seems like you might be in the friendzone, but could be the fact thats shes shy
have you thrown out any hints that you're interested?

go to the movie, do your thing, throw a few baiters out there and see how she reacts
because you said shes shy, might be hard to get good clues out of her, but if you like her, just go for it bro

just straight up tell her, i didn't tell a girl i liked her n waited wayyy to long and now its all fucked up. turns out she liked me since the beginning when i started to like her so just man up its better that she knows you like her anyways. if it dont work then fuck it

a lot of guys wait for sign or signals/hints from a girl
to see if she likes u back in return

we wait and wait even for years for those hints to drop...but either they never come or guys are too oblivious that its way too late the girl is doing it with some other douchebag

us guys have to go for it and create those signs/hints

how to do it? i have no idea but of course ask physixxx as he is the guru haha

fuck it man i regret not being straight up cause literally it got dragged on for a whole year. better to know sooner so OP should just tell her he likes her

There is an easy way to break from the friend category to lover category.
One day just go into an elevator together, and be talking very casually and normally about anything.
When the elevator door closes, just slam her against the wall and start making out.
Its worked 3x for me, and the girl initially was stunned, but then they just grabbed my head and reciprocated. It was magic!

NO! I'm sorry but I completely disagree.
You never tell them! You gotta just grab them and be a man about it!

oh man you did type a lot of shit LOL wheres the update?!