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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 05-15-2009, 01:23 PM   #1
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Arguments

Say you and your bf/gf have a argument every night. Both getting sick of it. How do you cut down on having arguments every night? Isn't it normal to have a arguments in relationships though? Like whats not a healthy relationship without arguments kinda thing?

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Old 05-15-2009, 01:44 PM   #2
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There's no standard amount of arguing, it varies by relationship.
Some argue more than others, I personally think a relationship WITHOUT arguing is abnormal.

How much is too much? I guess it depends on what the arguments are about
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Old 05-15-2009, 03:13 PM   #3
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Too much of anything isn't healthy.

Set boundaries.

Draw the lines, and if she crosses it once or twice, consult with her about it. If she crosses it repeatedly, argument. If arguments don't work/end up in sex, there's something else wrong in your relationship.

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Old 05-15-2009, 03:26 PM   #4
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what r u arguing about tho? r those arguments really necessary? too much argument can never be good.
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Old 05-15-2009, 03:40 PM   #5
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I find that when ever I get tired of a girl I end up bickering a lot - usually over really stupid trivial shit. I don't really notice 'til after, but I guess I just get agitated more easily when things get old. Usually I end up breaking up soon after that.
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Old 05-15-2009, 04:33 PM   #6
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Arguing every night? Maybe it's time to move on. My wife and I have disagreements from time to time, maybe an argument a month. Depends on what it is. Usually it's legitimate for the both of us.

But really, see if this relationship is just over and you two are dragging it out. No sense in being in a dead relationship.
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Old 05-15-2009, 05:40 PM   #7
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every night? what are you two arguing about? is it always something new or is it usually a repeat of previous fights?

having disagreements is normal in couples but if the two of you are always at each others throats, then is all this stress and madness worth it?
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Old 05-17-2009, 02:07 PM   #8
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I think it varies from relationship to relationship.

In my relationship, we've been together for over 2 years now, we've had literally maybe 3 big fights. And we've seen each other practically everyday all this time. I get annoyed at some things, so does he, but we bitch it out on the spot and it never escalades, rarely lasts more than a few minutes.

Opposite, my best friend and her boyfriend. They fight on a regular basis, not daily, but fairly regularly. Some fights last all day. But frankly, we all know they both love each other just as much as my boyfriend and I do and that no huge fight is going to break them up. Kiss and make-up and they move on.

It's all personalities and communication methods between you two. Some people don't find the need to fight, or you're so compatible there's nothing to fight about. Others, fighting works for their relationship because they need to let it all out, quickly and explosively. But of course, there's no point when the fighting is so extreme and frequent that it's just tiring and pointless and neither sides are happy anymore.
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Old 05-19-2009, 12:04 AM   #9
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what could you possibly be arguing about?? every night.. yikes, i would end up not talking to my bf if that were the case
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Old 05-19-2009, 12:46 AM   #10
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what could you possibly be arguing about?? every night.. yikes, i would end up not talking to my bf if that were the case
Then you two could argue about how you never talk? But yeah, every night is a lot. Every now and then is healthy, but not all the time. Moderation is key.
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Old 05-19-2009, 07:43 AM   #11
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wtf arguements every night? gf and I rarely have arguements, we have disagreements but those are rare.
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Old 05-19-2009, 08:43 AM   #12
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my old bestfriend and her then boyf argued everytime I was around them. God when I helped them move to Edmonton last january they argued every day and it seemed like the only conversation they had would turn into an arguement. They have been together around 3 years now and have been married over a year with a kid, so I guess it works for them
When hanging out with them I wondered how they could deal with that much fighting, I know I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where the arguing was a frequent thing.
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Old 05-19-2009, 09:18 AM   #13
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every night? what are you two arguing about? is it always something new or is it usually a repeat of previous fights?
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Old 05-19-2009, 09:31 AM   #14
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My wife and I generally only argue when stressed. We'll be agitated at one thing or another and it will lead to other arguments of things that might be so trivial.

The first 3-4 years of our relationship we almost never argued ever. We were carefree and a lot younger and really didn't have anything to stress over. 12 years later you add in a kid, house work, jobs, daycare, bills ect. and things change. She might feel maybe I go out to much or don't do enough around the house and maybe I'll feel the same way about her at times. These feelings are usually fueled by a bad day at work or kid that won't listen and things spiral. Try and never go to bed angry, admit when when your wrong and say I'm sorry.

If you're arguing all the time early on in a relationship when stakes are low I can't see it working long term, might as well just cut your losses now.
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Old 05-19-2009, 11:16 AM   #15
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yeah every night. well its starting to cut down. but its mostly arguing over smallest things that get into big things.
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Old 05-19-2009, 11:47 AM   #16
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all she wants is some angry sex
go try it and report back
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Old 05-19-2009, 12:34 PM   #17
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if you're arguing about the same thing every night, that's too much for a "healthy" relationship.. something isn't right.
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Old 05-19-2009, 01:24 PM   #18
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yeah every night. well its starting to cut down. but its mostly arguing over smallest things that get into big things.
Sounds like you guys have some underlying problems.

Why do you guys get so pissed over the little things?
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Old 05-19-2009, 05:35 PM   #19
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it all depends on what the argument is all about.

Plus hey, isn't make-up sex the best part after the arguing..
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Old 05-21-2009, 05:07 AM   #20
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^ Ive never experienced make up sex
Ive argued plenty with my ex's and current gf
After we're done arguing we dont ever go into any passionate/hot so called make up sex

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Old 05-21-2009, 12:21 PM   #21
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^ Ive never experienced make up sex
Ive argued plenty with my ex's and current gf
After we're done arguing we dont ever go into any passionate/hot so called make up sex
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Old 05-21-2009, 12:26 PM   #22
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yeah every night. well its starting to cut down. but its mostly arguing over smallest things that get into big things.
What are your guys' ages?

In my experience, maturity plays a factor. I used to have to deal with a lot of drama back then in HS, but at my age, I pretty much date girls who are 25+ and the drama is cut down to almost nil.

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Old 05-22-2009, 12:20 AM   #23
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i've gone through this.

just talk to her less.. so then there is less oppurtunity to argue. simple.
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Old 05-24-2009, 02:59 PM   #24
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What are your guys' ages?

In my experience, maturity plays a factor. I used to have to deal with a lot of drama back then in HS, but at my age, I pretty much date girls who are 25+ and the drama is cut down to almost nil.
Were both 18

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i've gone through this.

just talk to her less.. so then there is less oppurtunity to argue. simple.
I want to try to talk to her less. But then i cant. i have to talk to her everyday lol.
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Old 05-24-2009, 10:44 PM   #25
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^ Ive never experienced make up sex
Ive argued plenty with my ex's and current gf
After we're done arguing we dont ever go into any passionate/hot so called make up sex

Yea, usually I just go straight to bed.
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