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I'm that type of guy who doesnt ask much from the world. I think I am veru mature for my age and theres things i might not know, like what do i want to do with mylife or who i wanna be but i know whatever it is its with her. All I know is that I truly, madly, deeply in love with this girl and nothing, nothing at all can change the way i feel for her. I can honeslty settle down right now with this girl get married and have kids and start our lives together, i dont give a shit about anything else |
but she does. so that's a problem. maybe you should explore what you have missed in life and go out and have fun. decide after if you really wanna settle down. i used to be like you, until i decided to go out and live again, then i realised, yeah, settling down would be good, but I'm still young, i want to party hard while my body can still withstand it. i don't regret it. been partying hard since summer of 2006, all around the world. yeah 3 year party. like i said, i don't regret it. you only live once man. well, so we think anyways. |
give it some time, try and talk to her as friends, go from there, keep things light hearted, tell her about how u feel |
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grabs popcorn** but yeh i think ur nuts and dont know what ur talking about..how can u even say that this is truly what u want when u haven't even seen the other other side of the bridge (single life/dating other women).. |
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Your 20 years old and you both cheated on one another. Both of these are evidence that you'll forget about her in 2 months...and if you don't then your problem/insecurities with your own self are far more of a concern than your love for this girl. |
take it from me bud, keep yourself busy, go hang out with friends uve lost, meet and chill with girls but dont get into a relationship right away. just relax, live ur life, dont try to make ur ex jealous or get back at her. forget she existed and move on. U might take this advice for granted or think that im just another member here giving general advice but u know what? i went through the same phase, almost exact scenario u did. - 7 year relationship - ex dropped the bomb on me - i gave my heart to her, when she dumped me i hit rock bottom - we started dating back in highschool - felt really depressed all the time like im the only man on earth - no energy for anything, even eating good food - kept thinking about her and thinking she'd come back all these things i went through and its definitely a crap situation to be in right now. But i got over it. Time heals wounds. You will rise to be a better person out of this. Im living proof! I have a nice car, i bought a house, i have a very loving and understanding fiance, i own 3 top of the line TVs, I enjoy going on trips with my fiance, and so much more. Feeling bad right now is normal and u will feel it for awhile. but when ur ready to get back on your feet you stand tall and proud knowing that u survived an epic battle with your emotion and live life anew. Hang in there man, there is light on the end of the tunnel. It just depends how fast you wanna get there. |
dude you cheated on her, she cheated on you... is that not enough? id be done. when my gf got into her frist year of university, shit was fucked up. she attended all these events, met these guys.. started gettin flirty and shit. she admitted it all too me and she felt ashamed, like she took me for granted. i almost dropped this girl, but for anyone to admit what she did, that it was wrong and tell me she took me for granted.... well honestly she knew i would have never found out but she knew i aut to know. after that incident, weve been straight ever since. she doesnt attend school events anymore and everythings great. i knew she would never cheat on me and she knows i would never cheat on her. BUT for you to go and cheat... sorry dude but that aint right. EVEN IF she cheated on you first, i would expect a lot of people to be the better person.. not cheat to get back, break it off and move on. to be honest with you, im 20 aswell and ive been w/ my gf for almost 6 years so.. take my advice and move on. if you cheated on her, shes not worth much.. |
What is your background/lifestyle/interests? I find that this situation more than often happens to dd's or dd-types |
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A rebound helps a lot too. not joking. Quote:
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^Agreed. A while back, I made a post asking for someone who has sucessfully moved on from a serious relationship and for that person to share their experience. I wanted to know that it has been done before, because it has been over a year since my breakup with whom I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with and I still have random thoughts about her sometimes. Sometimes I feel I will never get over her, and I think it's unfair because she has moved on already and has a boyfriend now. Now I feel better knowing that someone else has moved on from a serious relationship to finding marriage with someone they love. I sometimes feel I just need some reassurance that it will get better. |
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its called the 7 year itch. usually at around 7 years if you are still in the bf/gf status ur relationship tends to fade away. at this point girls start thinking that this relationship is not moving on and they get too comfortable to the point that there is no longer the "spark" in the relationship. Guys sometimes feel that they've been with the same girl for that long that there is no longer anything interesting or the sex feels repetitive rather than exciting. (this also applies to the girl side) They both get into the "too comfortable" phase and realize nothing interesting is happening anymore. They get bored of the relationship and tend to think that maybe there's something out there thats better for me. Thats when your world falls apart, black hole sucks you into isolation, zombies start nibbling on your heart, depression becomes your best friend, hate is your favorite game, jealousy is the air around you, and you just got hadoukened with a blast of regret. |
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1. as most RS members have pointed out, there's a reason why you guys broke up. understand that its not meant to be cuz if it was you'd still be together. 2. do no regret that you are not together anymore. Instead, be happy that you have spent time with this girl. you learned how to love and in return received love, you experienced things you probably never had before, you learned a lot about urself and now have more knowledge of what to expect. 3. If you believe in the phrase "the right one will come to you" then focus on that. Imagine if u forced this relationship to keep going.... that would mean you will never be with the "right one". remember, the right one is who your meant to be with. Not who your thinking it should be with. As i have stated before, "There is light at the end of the tunnel. It just depends how fast you wanna get there" |
i feel ya man...the one i had to deal with was 4-6years ish on and off... What really helped me was travelling...go for a month or so alone or with your buddy. It'll force you NOT to see or talk to her cause phone bills would be expensive as fk. Anyways try that...helped for me...and trust me, your only hurting cause u tHINK shes the one thats good for you, but you only think that way cause you been with her for a long time. Get out there, do shit...take some classes in school, meet new girls....ull get over it man...tough it out |
thanks everyone for all the help and comments, but really I know what needs to be done and I know what I need to do myself but I just can't get it together no matter how hard I try. This is really fucked up, as guys were not emo towards eachother so i cant talk about this towards my friends. As for friends as girls i dont have any cause i gave that up being with my ex. I believe the right one has come for me and its gone and ill never find the right one but iim sure everyone will say ur wrong the right one will come. but when it comes you know its the right one but what happens when it leaves again, you going to say it going to come again so how manytimes is it going to come. you can go out with someone and they dont have to be the one but this is the one and its gone so fuck |
once again man, i understand what u feel. i mentioned in one of my replies that u will feel like ur isolated and the only man on earth with no one to make u feel better, be able to help u out, etc. At this point ur feeling the withdrawal of being alone. you have been so used to being with her that u have built a "comfort zone". but now that she's gone the comfort zone has been compromised and now you are unfamiliar with this feeling. You dont know what to do and the heartbreak is still killing you inside. There's really not much u can do and any advice ppl give you will just bounce off ur "shield". The best thing to do is just grief about it one day at a time but also try to slowly reconnect with the world. Do not isolate urself or go crawling in a hole and go emo. Trust me, that will lead u to hitting rockbottom. I almost hit rockbottom and it was hard getting back up. if u have money, go take a trip. it helps ease the pain and at the same time u might find a new beginning to your life. I will also point out another member's advice here. TRUST ME AGAIN ON THIS ONE... you might believe that she is the one but ur just blinded right now cuz u have fallen for this girl. You are young and i know ur probably gonna brush this off but i agree with others here, YOU DO NOT KNOW YET WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. Thats like a kid who sees a toy and thinks he really wants that and nothing else but once he gets it he forgets about right away. "Human nature tends to want what they cannot have but when they have it they take it for granted". I can already tell u what ur next moves are gonna be: - you will try to stalk her, maybe talk to her friends about how she is and if she still talks about u. - go emo in your room, want to be alone all the time, maybe take short walks to think about things - you try to access her facebook, friendster, etc accounts and see what she's been up to - u brush off ppl's advice thinking that you know whats best for you - u will wake up one day and say "what do i have to lose, im gonna try asking her to come back to me" I can go on with a full list but my reply is getting long already. My point is, move on! if she comes back to you then she comes back to you. if she doesnt then accept the fact that she isnt coming back. She is not the only girl in this world. you just think she is right now cuz uve only spent ur life with her. your being ignorant right now cuz how could u possibly know she's the right one when u havent even gone out with others? |
^Agreed with everything you said. You're pretty bang on about the steps to the aftermath of a breakup. I still do some of the things you mentioned like stay in my room and sleep all day. It's like I don't want to think about anything anymore and sleeping can do just that. I would often ask for advice from my close girl friends and but I would always ignore what they have said. Their advice is not what I want to hear. I want someone to tell me to ask her back, but I've been unsuccessfull and I doubt anyone would ever tell me it's a good idea. I never stalked her on facebook after the breakup. I didn't want to go on to see what I didn't want to see and bum myself out even more. It's like a self fullfilling prophecy. What really helped me was working. When you're working 2 restaurant jobs back to back you really don't have much time to think about anything else. Making mad cash and spending it is a really good feeling. Working will also force you to make new friends and build new relationships with co-workers. Perhaps the OP should it. Get yourself a new watch! |
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To the OP, man i said same thing as you when me and my ex broke up, I would pass on jessica alba, megan foxx, or any other girl. I didn't want anyone else but her, but its been a year for me now and i admit its gotten a lot better. I noticed that when i worked a lot it really took my mind off her. Now that im back in school there are still those moments when i would think about her and she has been back in my life from time to time because we sort of have mutual friends. Im trying my hardest to get over her as well, and good luck to you. I can only imagine the pain you're going through right now, but its obvious that you are progressing, i mean, you haven't killed yourself yet right? So keep on living and enjoy everything that you missed. Talk to your friends again. Good Luck :) |
I have to agree that girls are evil. My ex just dumped me 2 hours ago midnight. This two year relationship has been pretty good with not many arguments. Tonight she all the sudden decided that I'm not compatible and too young for her to focus on her life. She's 4 years older than me making her 26 and I'm 22. What the shit is this really? why are girls so cruel? |
^girls aren't cruel, everyone is cruel in some way no matter the gender . everyone is going to be a dumper and a dumpee at one point in time. and to the OP, 7 years is a long time so i don't doubt that you are in love with her and thinking she is "the one." but really, how can you base that fact when you've only dated this ONE girl in the past 7 years. you have no other experience to compare this relationship to. think about all the people in this world that have dated one person that they loved and thought was the one, only to break up and then be with someone else down the road and be so much more happy. relationships is like a puzzle. each piece signifies what makes a relationship work. if the pieces (the 2 of you) don't fit, then the puzzle doesn't work. |
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