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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 06-18-2009, 11:25 PM   #1
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girls with long term relationship problem

Just had dinner with 3 of my high school friends, all 3 of them keep complaining
about their 3+ yrs bf are being boring, "don't really care", no intention to make
the relationship better, and no plan to get married etc.

It's not the first time I hear girls complaining about their guys being so "settled"
and don't really give a shit about their gf. The nerds will continue to be a nerd or
worse, the outgoing ones will probably go out a lot more without the gf presents,
the workaholic, you can probably imagine that...

I don't know what they can do about it. Either they find a better one or stick
with being alone during the weekday and see each other once on saturday or
something.

If you are a guy with a stable gf, how do you spice up the relationship?

To mod: feel free to give out warning points if someone says "I'd bang all 3 of them" Thank you


Last edited by asian_XL; 06-19-2009 at 08:50 AM.
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Old 06-18-2009, 11:51 PM   #2
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I'd bang all 3 of them.

You're asking 'if you're a guy with a stable gf, how do you spice up the relationship', but are the boyfriends willing to even do that? If they're not willing, the relationship's stagnated, and they aren't happy together anymore, then is there really a point to hanging in there? Especially if there's no plan for marriage?
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Old 06-19-2009, 08:13 AM   #3
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Gf and I will be together for 4 years next month. We've talked about marriage but thats a little down the road. GF and I are very much happy even after 4 years. Yeah we're not as lovey dovey anymore like we used to be when we first went out because that "feeling" has worn off and we're spending more time apart because we have different interests and goals but we always have our movie nights, walks to wherever and dates here and there. The main thing in a relationship is communication. If both parties are aware of how the other feels then there realy should be no problem. Its relationships where the other party is too busy, doesnt spend enough time with each other, don't communicate that the boring, dont care, no intention to make the relationship factor comes into play. Also it depends on if the couple is living together or not. GF and I haved lived together since day 1
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Old 06-19-2009, 08:28 AM   #4
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Why can't they do something to spice it up?

Or does it always have to be the boyfriend's job?
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Old 06-19-2009, 08:48 AM   #5
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Why can't they do something to spice it up?

Or does it always have to be the boyfriend's job?
QFT

You never hear guys complaining about this. lol
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Old 06-19-2009, 08:52 AM   #6
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^ they don't complain, they just go out find some fuck buddies...
guys don't like complicated things...haha
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Old 06-19-2009, 09:19 AM   #7
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GF and I haved lived together since day 1
was that intentional or were you roommates?
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Old 06-19-2009, 09:44 AM   #8
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Quote:
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Why can't they do something to spice it up?

Or does it always have to be the boyfriend's job?
i think in a girl's mind, since its the bf that "doesnt care," it becomes his job to spice things up
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Old 06-19-2009, 09:49 AM   #9
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^ they don't complain, they just go out find some fuck buddies...
guys don't like complicated things...haha

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Old 06-19-2009, 09:50 AM   #10
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Girls just tend to do this when they get together as a form of bonding. Just like guys talk about cars, chicks, sports as a form of bonding. Get married and see how many husbands will make jabs about their wives to other husbands, but they're not always serious.

In fact, though they complain a lot, I'd bet that if they broke up, all 3 of those female friends of yours will have their lives shattered. They're not even thinking about breaking up ever.
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Old 06-19-2009, 10:23 AM   #11
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Old 06-19-2009, 10:28 AM   #12
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it is, the best sig i have seen on a forum, ever.

btw, i would bang all 3.
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Old 06-19-2009, 02:58 PM   #13
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post pics of ur female friends or it didn't happen
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Old 06-19-2009, 03:27 PM   #14
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yea, just like i know ppl who always complain about their SO about this & that. & when I tell them, why dun u break up if u'r having such a hard time. Silence
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Old 06-19-2009, 03:53 PM   #15
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I chase her around her house with my pants down.
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Old 06-19-2009, 10:01 PM   #16
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well, quite a few immature posts here, have you guys ever had a long term relationship?

I had two LT relationship in my life...yeah, I screwed up the first one, being too settled in
the relationship, she ran away with another guy at the end. I learned my lesson, now it's my
3rd year being with my current gf, I have to remind myself frequently that it's my job to
keep her happy (of course, she keeps me naughty in bed as well). Thanks that we have
common goals, work in the same industry, and have a similar family/education background,
it sure helps us a lot in communication.

I am not sure whether it's the guy's job or it's a mutual problem, but girls tend to have the
valid reasons to blame everything on their guys. Then guys will claim their gf is overreacting,
bla bla bla. It usually becomes a tough decision for the girls whether to continue or not.
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Old 06-20-2009, 03:20 AM   #17
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Gf and I will be together for 4 years next month. We've talked about marriage but thats a little down the road. GF and I are very much happy even after 4 years. Yeah we're not as lovey dovey anymore like we used to be when we first went out because that "feeling" has worn off and we're spending more time apart because we have different interests and goals but we always have our movie nights, walks to wherever and dates here and there. The main thing in a relationship is communication. If both parties are aware of how the other feels then there realy should be no problem. Its relationships where the other party is too busy, doesnt spend enough time with each other, don't communicate that the boring, dont care, no intention to make the relationship factor comes into play. Also it depends on if the couple is living together or not. GF and I haved lived together since day 1

wow that's almost identical to my situation with my gf, minus the living together parts, although I've slept over for a couple weeks when her mom was out of the country
Next month is our 4th year too.

anyway...
I agree communication is key. Listen to what each other says, pay attention to the smallest things, compliment her, etc. Pick her up from work if needed.
Communicate!
This girl and I have been dealing with a sort of long distance relationship because she's been schooling in a different city for a year now. Nothing has really changed much and I really really think communication is the reason why things are still working out.
That, and neither of us like to go crazy with drinking and partying.
But COMMUNICATION is probably the most important thing when it comes to maintaining a relationship. Sometimes, it really doesn't hurt to tell them you're heading out to superstore to buy something, as insignificant a piece of information as that may be. As long as it doesn't turn into an excessive 'want to know where you are at every moment in time" behaviour, it's cool.

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Old 06-20-2009, 03:40 AM   #18
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I've been dating my gf for about 6 years and the key is def communication. Although i'm off for the sem. (univ) and unemployed i spend a lot of my time taking her out, bringing her over to my place , and just playing videogames or something. its been like this for the last 4 months and shes ok with it.

If your worried about a gf getting bored, try introducing her into things and make her feel likes shes doing a good job. I wash my car a lot so i asked if she wanted to help. she sprays the car with the hose and loves it... probably cause she already knows how to handle mine lol. but no joke, she feels like she involved. i bought her a dslite when i was playing xbox all the time and she uses it almost everyday, she just went out and bought a wii yesterday too

Like i said, get her slowly involved in things you like doing, and make her feel like shes doing a good job. Remember that you'll have to pretend like your interested in stuff SHE likes doing too. When my gf goes out shopping for makeup she lets me pick what colour she buys for eye shadow, nail polish. then she starts buying colours i like. its a small way of showing her that i care and buy her wearing it its a simple way of showing me she cares about how i think and look at her.

hope this helps
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Old 06-20-2009, 03:49 AM   #19
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oh and i thought this cyanide and happiness comic was the best choice for this thread

http://s63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...Donthearme.jpg
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Old 06-23-2009, 12:23 PM   #20
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was that intentional or were you roommates?
intentional, we've known each other for awhile too so once it was official we were set
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Old 06-23-2009, 12:29 PM   #21
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Sometimes people just complain just for complaining's sake. Even when nothing is wrong.
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Old 06-23-2009, 03:04 PM   #22
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fuck reading this thread makes me want a gf =(
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Old 06-26-2009, 11:17 AM   #23
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before they blame the bf for not doing anything to improve the relationshop, ask themselve why they think the relationships need improvement ...

usually people are not happy because of frustration caused by unmet expectation(s) ... are there certain things that those grils are expecting from their relationships?? are their bf's award of these expectation(s) and, more importantly, are those expectation(s) real ... if the bf is flipping burgers at McDonald, buying a 5 carat diamond ring for her birthday is highly unlikely gonna happen ...
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Old 06-26-2009, 11:35 AM   #24
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yea, just like i know ppl who always complain about their SO about this & that. & when I tell them, why dun u break up if u'r having such a hard time. Silence
If my wife's bitching and getting on my nerves that is exactly what I tell her. "There's the door if you're not happy leave anytime you want". I obviously don't think she's going anywhere I just try and put it in perspective for her. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. I on the other hand don't really complain, at least not to her. It's worked for 12 going on 13 years now.
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Old 06-26-2009, 01:44 PM   #25
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If my wife's bitching and getting on my nerves that is exactly what I tell her. "There's the door if you're not happy leave anytime you want". I obviously don't think she's going anywhere I just try and put it in perspective for her. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. I on the other hand don't really complain, at least not to her. It's worked for 12 going on 13 years now.

gj letting the woman know her "options"
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