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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 06-22-2009, 03:45 AM   #26
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What a heatless d-bag. I hope the parents sue your ass.

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Old 06-22-2009, 03:53 AM   #27
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At least we know why the OP went the cowards route on Revscene...
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Old 06-22-2009, 04:57 AM   #28
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yeah that's kind of low dude, at least try to console her, if she doesnt want to break up just fade the relationship out, dont leave her crying for days or weeks, she'll eventually see how big a dick u really are and break up with u, i give it a month
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Old 06-22-2009, 07:33 AM   #29
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Since you broke up with her, don't visit her so much, but like I said, you should still at least visit her once or twice.
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Old 06-22-2009, 07:38 AM   #30
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So what you're saying is your gf is a little emotional right now because her best friend passed away only a month ago. She now has pelvic damage as well as damage to her leg from a supposed "minor accident". Sounds like the accident was more then minor to cause that much damage.

Of course the accident is your fault, if you're the driver you take on the responsibility of the passengers and everything else in your vehicle. If a little crying beside you is gonna distract you that much then it's a good thing you're off the road. I'd hate for your cell phone to go off and the caller to "annoy" you and get in another accident.
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Old 06-22-2009, 07:53 AM   #31
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visit her but make sure she still knows that you dont want to be with her but are there as a friend
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Old 06-22-2009, 10:13 AM   #32
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to the OP:

#1 - My first advice when posting your personal issues on the forum is to be precise, and make sure you post everything CORRECTLY. When someone gets injured in a car accident, it is no longer MINOR. MINOR is if someone backed into you in a parking lot or
your car got attacked by a fleet of shopping carts.
MINOR is if someone smashed your window and broke in and stole all your shit.
MINOR, is the perceived mentality I get from your post, due to the arrogance and lack of compassion. The fact that you are even angry with her and not yourself is already proof of that enough.

#2 - Check with ICBC what your (or your mom's, 'cuz i doubt anyone with your mentality can make a dime of hard earned money) insurance coverage entails. That includes the deductible, what the 3rd party liability covers (this one's the one that covers lawsuits, injury to other ppl, etc.). usually 3rd party covers in either $200,000, $500,000, or $1 million. Make your case to see who's fault it is, and see what the insurance will go up to if it's your fault.

Depending on what your mom's...oops I meant YOUR car is worth, it may be written off depending on damages.

#3 - You don't NEED to visit her at the hospital, but you were the principle driver. ICBC rules dictate that the driver be in control at all times, REGARDLESS of what's going on in or around the vehicle, moving or not, unless it's due to unforeseen or extraordinary circumstances that were unpreventable, IE: natural disasters (tornados, etc), commitment of fraud or a crime (got robbed, jacked, etc.), or someone barreling down the street and hitting something because he couldn't keep his woman in check, which tells me he wasn't doing his job. <---the fault would be on the guy with control issues.

You should go see her and apologize just because you were the driver. Drivers are always ALWAYS responsible for the passenger.

#4 - If you can't drive with a girl crying in the car and not hit anything, you don't deserve a license. I've gotten into worse situations, and I haven't gotten in an accident in over 10 years. Also might want to think about how u went about this. You don't do break ups in a moving car. That was a stupid move on YOUR fault. You evidently and obviously cannot make proper decisions based on time/people/place. Again, if you can't stop the car to talk to your g/f about something like this, you don't deserve to drive, either.

#5 - Take a driving class, it's obvious that you need one.
Oh, and get some anger management courses in there too.

#6 - People don't get over dead people in a month. Some take years to get over the grief depending on how close they were to the deceased. You should be able to relate when someone firebombs your house for being an ass. Ass.

#7 - Don't post here again until you can get yourself straightened out. At the moment all I see, based on what the post has been like, is that you're a spoiled brat who've been taken handouts all his life, with a complete inability to make rational decisions without someone else there to be your crutch.
#8 - Given your attitude, I highly doubt that it's actually YOUR car. Sucking your mom's tit milk for car money and insurance payments does not constitute a car as YOURS.
Prove me wrong, but if it isn't under your name, Get yer shit straight

#9 - I hope that your initial post was just a rant and that you're not ACTUALLY this big an ass. But if you are, I hope you and I never meet. Believe me, you don't want to meet my magic stick, son.
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Old 06-22-2009, 10:33 AM   #33
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all I wanted to say,

Karma's a bitch, and judging from what you are doing/did, you are gonna get some hurting real bad real soon.
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Old 06-22-2009, 10:59 AM   #34
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Bad advises. Seriously.

On a relationship level:

*** There's nothing worse you can do than force yourself to stay in a relationship you already don't want to be in. It's just a bad decision and it'll just prolong yours and HER troubles.

*** There's nothing worse in a partner that will guilt you into into getting what she wants. Nothing good ever comes out of it. She'll win but it's only temporary, you'll always be resentful, it's just bad.

This is just not good all around. It's a douche thing to do but I say WALK AWAY. Sometimes you have to be an asshole to do the right/nice thing.

And I wouldn't worry about everyone else: Everyone has the automaton response of giving advise of what a "nice" person would do. But I doubt anyone here could follow their own advise if it was applied to a person they absolutely dislike and has been problematic to them.

Kinda stupid.

Last edited by Noir; 06-22-2009 at 11:06 AM.
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Old 06-22-2009, 11:06 AM   #35
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^ that I agree with as well.

It's not the fact that you want to break up with her that's got everyone's pitchforks in the air. It's all the shit inbetween.
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Old 06-22-2009, 11:28 AM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Noir View Post
Bad advises. Seriously.

On a relationship level:

*** There's nothing worse you can do than force yourself to stay in a relationship you already don't want to be in. It's just a bad decision and it'll just prolong yours and HER troubles.

*** There's nothing worse in a partner that will guilt you into into getting what she wants. Nothing good ever comes out of it. She'll win but it's only temporary, you'll always be resentful, it's just bad.

This is just not good all around. It's a douche thing to do but I say WALK AWAY. Sometimes you have to be an asshole to do the right/nice thing.

And I wouldn't worry about everyone else: Everyone has the automaton response of giving advise of what a "nice" person would do. But I doubt anyone here could follow their own advise if it was applied to a person they absolutely dislike and has been problematic to them.

Kinda stupid.
I disgree with walking away, that doens't solve any problem, that just makes him childish. Can't the guy be a BIGGER man, go visit her.

I find OP totally ignorant and a complete retard to blame everything on the girl. It's stupid, what did she do? That OP DIDN'T INITIATE?

OP = Douchebag.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BallPeenHammer View Post
to the OP:

#1 - My first advice when posting your personal issues on the forum is to be precise, and make sure you post everything CORRECTLY. When someone gets injured in a car accident, it is no longer MINOR. MINOR is if someone backed into you in a parking lot or
your car got attacked by a fleet of shopping carts.
MINOR is if someone smashed your window and broke in and stole all your shit.
MINOR, is the perceived mentality I get from your post, due to the arrogance and lack of compassion. The fact that you are even angry with her and not yourself is already proof of that enough.

#2 - Check with ICBC what your (or your mom's, 'cuz i doubt anyone with your mentality can make a dime of hard earned money) insurance coverage entails. That includes the deductible, what the 3rd party liability covers (this one's the one that covers lawsuits, injury to other ppl, etc.). usually 3rd party covers in either $200,000, $500,000, or $1 million. Make your case to see who's fault it is, and see what the insurance will go up to if it's your fault.

Depending on what your mom's...oops I meant YOUR car is worth, it may be written off depending on damages.

#3 - You don't NEED to visit her at the hospital, but you were the principle driver. ICBC rules dictate that the driver be in control at all times, REGARDLESS of what's going on in or around the vehicle, moving or not, unless it's due to unforeseen or extraordinary circumstances that were unpreventable, IE: natural disasters (tornados, etc), commitment of fraud or a crime (got robbed, jacked, etc.), or someone barreling down the street and hitting something because he couldn't keep his woman in check, which tells me he wasn't doing his job. <---the fault would be on the guy with control issues.

You should go see her and apologize just because you were the driver. Drivers are always ALWAYS responsible for the passenger.

#4 - If you can't drive with a girl crying in the car and not hit anything, you don't deserve a license. I've gotten into worse situations, and I haven't gotten in an accident in over 10 years. Also might want to think about how u went about this. You don't do break ups in a moving car. That was a stupid move on YOUR fault. You evidently and obviously cannot make proper decisions based on time/people/place. Again, if you can't stop the car to talk to your g/f about something like this, you don't deserve to drive, either.

#5 - Take a driving class, it's obvious that you need one.
Oh, and get some anger management courses in there too.

#6 - People don't get over dead people in a month. Some take years to get over the grief depending on how close they were to the deceased. You should be able to relate when someone firebombs your house for being an ass. Ass.

#7 - Don't post here again until you can get yourself straightened out. At the moment all I see, based on what the post has been like, is that you're a spoiled brat who've been taken handouts all his life, with a complete inability to make rational decisions without someone else there to be your crutch.
#8 - Given your attitude, I highly doubt that it's actually YOUR car. Sucking your mom's tit milk for car money and insurance payments does not constitute a car as YOURS.
Prove me wrong, but if it isn't under your name, Get yer shit straight

#9 - I hope that your initial post was just a rant and that you're not ACTUALLY this big an ass. But if you are, I hope you and I never meet. Believe me, you don't want to meet my magic stick, son.
Quote+1 For the OP to read again.




I'll add this - I don't have a problem of him walking away from the girl after she's healed or the situation about the "minor" accident is solved.

To avoid is to never solve this problem.
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Old 06-22-2009, 12:49 PM   #37
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Hang on a sec.

A crying girl in your car distracted you so much that you got into an accident?

You're an asshat.
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Old 06-22-2009, 12:55 PM   #38
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uHOH. When Trinity's in on it, it's never gonna end good.

LOL
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Old 06-22-2009, 01:02 PM   #39
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Fact remains, ex's crying was a distraction which led to an accident which he will end up paying for. It's not like some other person who posted on RS about his car being totalled when his friend was the DD because he was too stupid and got hammered.

Sometimes you have to be the bad guy and cut all ties so everyone can move on. In life, the friends circle is bigger than that little group from high school.

I can see what everyone is trying to say by going to the hospital to visit her, but what good does that do? Will that fix their breakup? Will that fix her leg? Will that keep the rents from suing him? Do the rent's even want him there after all that has happened?

Keep it simple. Cut all ties with her. Cut your losses short and take the hit on the insurance. Let the OP move on, and let the ex move on. Why should either parties have to drag this on longer than it has to be.
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Old 06-22-2009, 01:14 PM   #40
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He PICKED to break up in the car.
He knew she would cry.

Such a dick.
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Old 06-22-2009, 01:20 PM   #41
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i think this is fake..
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Old 06-22-2009, 01:32 PM   #42
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At least visit her. I am sure if your friend got into an accident you would go visit her too. Besdie you casue the accident by being a bad driver. If her crying distract you that much then you shouldn't be driving.

Now you casue her to be injury I think you should take the responsibility to take care of her. Besdie I am sure she still loves you. Don't be such an asshole.
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Old 06-22-2009, 01:56 PM   #43
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I disgree with walking away, that doens't solve any problem, that just makes him childish. Can't the guy be a BIGGER man, go visit her.

I find OP totally ignorant and a complete retard to blame everything on the girl. It's stupid, what did she do? That OP DIDN'T INITIATE?

OP = Douchebag.
If the gf was any better of a person, I'm sure of many things:

*** That the break up would've never been necessary to begin with.
*** That the break up if necessary would've been cordial
*** Despite the absence of relationship, not a big deal to visit the hospital.

All the advises that everyone gives very easy to do with the proper person. Even at the very least, a friend. The type of people these are very difficult to do for are the people that just suck that bad.

Plus, I'm sure that sticking around and any generosity of kindness is just going to confuse her and she will somehow misunderstand the signals and the reality of her relationship (or lack there of).

Sometimes doing the right thing IS the bad thing. Walk away. These are one of the cases where BEING the bigger man means: Be the bad guy and letting her be the Good Guy, (or someone else more appropriate).
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Old 06-22-2009, 02:47 PM   #44
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ur an asshole for not trying to do the least that u can
sure, u guys broke up and u dont ever wanna see her...the least u could do is visit her as a friend and see how shes doing

person > car

put urself in her shoes man...what if she was the one driving, u started bitching, she gets into a "minor" accident and fucks up ur leg forever...then she refuses to visit u and blames u for fucking up her car and having to deal with icbc...how would u feel?

why dont u just admit the fact that u cant drive and that ur a fucking moron...
i wonder if u have anything more to say to rs, if so then id love to hear them
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Old 06-22-2009, 03:04 PM   #45
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Assuming this guy is for real - I hope you die in a fire you piece of shit cocksucker
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Old 06-22-2009, 03:24 PM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Noir View Post
If the gf was any better of a person, I'm sure of many things:

*** That the break up would've never been necessary to begin with.
*** That the break up if necessary would've been cordial
*** Despite the absence of relationship, not a big deal to visit the hospital.

All the advises that everyone gives very easy to do with the proper person. Even at the very least, a friend. The type of people these are very difficult to do for are the people that just suck that bad.

Plus, I'm sure that sticking around and any generosity of kindness is just going to confuse her and she will somehow misunderstand the signals and the reality of her relationship (or lack there of).

Sometimes doing the right thing IS the bad thing. Walk away. These are one of the cases where BEING the bigger man means: Be the bad guy and letting her be the Good Guy, (or someone else more appropriate).
If you're saying the OP is a dickhead, and he won't be able to be handle such a situation, then your method might be the only way he'll know how to do things. Sure. In the future does he keep running away? Because he's pissed off about his "ex-gf" crashing his car. Clearly thats all her fault. She totally took the wheel of the car and smashed the car into another car or fixture and clearly she's the one to blame for this entire mess.

This has nothing to do with being a good guy or bad guy, it's just being responsible.

Extreme example: She pissed me off, I took a gun and shot her, it wasn't my fault because she started it. Doesn't this sound like what you would do when you were 5? "Mom it wasn't my fault, she started it, *points to his sister*

If OP had half a brain, Can he reply to her text and say, i'll come visit you, but as a friend, i do want to see if you're okay?
What mix signal does that give? You've seen her, doesn't mean you have to stay there and be there, and see her again and again?
He could be anal, and just tell her, this is the last time i'll be seeing you. Done. then he can go about solving his other car/legal issues.
Also, if her parents are at the hospital and won't let him see her, even better for the OP. No matter how i read his 2 post OP and reply -

This goes back to my 1st post - He's a douchebag and a dumb ass.
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Old 06-22-2009, 04:06 PM   #47
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If you're saying the OP is a dickhead, and he won't be able to be handle such a situation, then your method might be the only way he'll know how to do things. Sure. In the future does he keep running away? Because he's pissed off about his "ex-gf" crashing his car. Clearly thats all her fault. She totally took the wheel of the car and smashed the car into another car or fixture and clearly she's the one to blame for this entire mess.

This has nothing to do with being a good guy or bad guy, it's just being responsible.

Extreme example: She pissed me off, I took a gun and shot her, it wasn't my fault because she started it. Doesn't this sound like what you would do when you were 5? "Mom it wasn't my fault, she started it, *points to his sister*

If OP had half a brain, Can he reply to her text and say, i'll come visit you, but as a friend, i do want to see if you're okay?
What mix signal does that give? You've seen her, doesn't mean you have to stay there and be there, and see her again and again?
He could be anal, and just tell her, this is the last time i'll be seeing you. Done. then he can go about solving his other car/legal issues.
Also, if her parents are at the hospital and won't let him see her, even better for the OP. No matter how i read his 2 post OP and reply -

This goes back to my 1st post - He's a douchebag and a dumb ass.

Clearly you haven't been around the block enough. There are girls whose bridges you don't want to burn, and there are just some which clearly just needs to be written off.

To the OP, it seems like it's the type of girl that would fall under the latter. Get a little more experience and maybe you'll know what I mean. Responsibility is all good and well, but maybe you haven't had the displeasure of enduring a woman who doesn't deserve chivalry.

You're probably still at that phase that you think all women are great and men owe them everything. And that probably anything less of a gentlemanly treatment is undeserving for any girl.
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Old 06-22-2009, 04:43 PM   #48
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There are girls whose bridges you don't want to burn, and there are just some which clearly just needs to be written off.
Agreed. Then agian, who's responsible for the accident? Who put her in the hospital?

Quote:
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To the OP, it seems like it's the type of girl that would fall under the latter. Get a little more experience and maybe you'll know what I mean. Responsibility is all good and well, but maybe you haven't had the displeasure of enduring a woman who doesn't deserve chivalry.

You're probably still at that phase that you think all women are great and men owe them everything. And that probably anything less of a gentlemanly treatment is undeserving for any girl.
Who said this was chivalry? OP is blaming her for things under his control. Granted she might not deserve to be gentlemanly, but how is this even gentlemanly? Be a grown-up, clearly he's not. He's pissed off at ex-gf for him crashing??

Don't have to play devil's advocate, You points are valid if say, he drives her home, she's still sobbing, she keeps texting and messaging 1000 message a day, calls him 100 times a day. But she's SAFE and say...not in the hospital?

He has a complete inability to make rational decisions without someone else there to be your crutch.
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Old 06-22-2009, 05:00 PM   #49
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Agreed. Then agian, who's responsible for the accident? Who put her in the hospital?



Who said this was chivalry? OP is blaming her for things under his control. Granted she might not deserve to be gentlemanly, but how is this even gentlemanly? Be a grown-up, clearly he's not. He's pissed off at ex-gf for him crashing??

Don't have to play devil's advocate, You points are valid if say, he drives her home, she's still sobbing, she keeps texting and messaging 1000 message a day, calls him 100 times a day. But she's SAFE and say...not in the hospital?

He has a complete inability to make rational decisions without someone else there to be your crutch.
I was only wanted to defend his actions on a relationship level.

OP is most def at fault for the accident but he's just lashing out. Seems to me that his gf is pissing him off this much.

In my experience, I've had 2 exgfs that's pissed me off that much. Never again has that ever happened and it's me usually that's now pissing gf's off. (But we can talk about that some other day)

But basically I'm saying, been there, done that. It's ugly and it's messy and there's no amount of chivalry that can perfume the stink out of shit. And I'm guessing the relationship was shit to the OP. These are one of those cases where it's just better for things to end. Cut off ties with each other and move on.

Doesn't mean that when the smoke clears and the dust settles that he doesn't care. But just not right now and that's normal.

Last edited by Noir; 06-22-2009 at 05:07 PM.
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Old 06-22-2009, 08:02 PM   #50
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What should I do? Pretend to care and visit her at the hospital so her parents won't sue me?
you answered your own question dude.

maybe your feelings will change, who cares go visit her anyways, if you decide that you still hate her then just do whatever you want.

life is tough, sometimes you gotta make shitty choices.

you can't do anything to fix the past. so it's up to you if you want to fix the future or not.

Personally I've done the exact same thing too, minus the the car crash and leaving her a injured (permanently?). I just up and left (the country) lol.

but honestly, the only difference between yours and mine is a car crash and the fact that she might be permanently fucked up. The LEAST you can do is pretend to care and then break up later when she feels better.

just cuz two people are together when some crazy accident happens doesnt mean they have to take care of each other forever, they're not even married. whatever. if i become cripple i don't expect whoever my gf is at the time to take care of me. i'd probably expect her to leave me, like any other normal human being would want to do.

or just leave her now, but her family will hate you forever. forever.
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