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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 07-31-2009, 02:42 PM   #1
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did i blow it or had a chance at all?

i'll try to make this short and sweet but not omit important details...

so about a month ago, met this girl online randomly, we chatted up a bit here and there so we would get to know each other a bit more. Now comes the third week, I asked her to hang out for a drink or whatever and she agrees, so one night we finally get to see each other in person and we were drinking/lounging. We had a pretty good time together talking about work, for fun, friends, family and whatever. We were making good eye contact the whole time. When it got a bit late, we both called it a night cuz we both had work the next day. We both were a little buzzed but were ok to get home.

I asked her if she wanted me to walk back to her car but she says no and that is that. After going separate ways, I decided to call her up and check up on her to see if she got to the car ok. She told me she text me when she does. After 10 mins she txt me back saying she arrived to her car and everything is ok, g'night.

After thinking about last night, I decided to send her an e-mail. Basically the e-mail says I had a fun time last night blah blah blah. I also kinda mentioned that I have an interest in her and would like to know her better so we should hang out with each other more.

Was it a mistake that I said that only meeting her once? I am a pretty blunt person when it comes to choices in life, either I will like that person or hate it. I didn't want her to classify me as being friend-zoned so therefore I mentioned that.

After not getting a reply, I decided to call her a couple days after but didn't pick up. So now i'm at a point if i should give her a call next week or totally put if off and see if she will talk to me again either phone or e-mail?

I have asked some friends about the situation and they told me I came on too strong and probably scared the girl away and also, my other friends said that maybe she's not the right girl that I should be going out with.

Any comments suggestions?
Thanks for reading.

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Old 07-31-2009, 03:25 PM   #2
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Personally, I wouldn't have emailed or called her right away. Patience is a virtue.

Now that you've tried, I'd leave it alone for a while. Give it a week and a half then, re-assess whether you want to try contacting her again if she hasn't contacted you by then.
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Old 07-31-2009, 03:26 PM   #3
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IMHO, you may have come on a bit too strong, but not disastrously so. Your email after the meeting is alright: Express interest, but not going too far, like saying you love her, should be okay. Mentioning not wanting to go into the 'friend zone' may have caused her to feel some pressure, but the ball is in her court now. Let her contact you, and if she doesn't, then it wasn't meant to be.
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Old 07-31-2009, 03:47 PM   #4
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Old 07-31-2009, 04:19 PM   #5
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there are set rules.

1) message on POF or lava life blah blah, after 3 messages, get MSN
2) chat on MSN and be nice and get comfy but don't go too crazy when you see her online
3) coffee meet up or drink.
this part you did fairly well i guess
4) this is not a date date so you really shouldn't have texted her AND emailed her.
Shoudl have just waited a few days or msn and then casual say "let's do it again sometime"

There are no more steps. Keep doing step 4 until you get an awesome vibe, you get to decide if you want to put the girl on the friends list or you want to date her.

I've met at least 15+ online people, a few psycos, some are really cool to party with and I've dated a few of them.
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Old 07-31-2009, 05:21 PM   #6
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the email is a courtesy thing, i dont see any wrong in it

you didn't supply sufficient details for us to analyze this situation

my guess is that she has other options and she's not that into you
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Old 07-31-2009, 06:06 PM   #7
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shes just not that into you

give her sometime to chill it say a week then maybe try contacting her again. if of course you feel the same after the week.
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Old 08-01-2009, 03:14 AM   #8
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the email might have scared her off a little, but just wait for her to contact you, if she doesnt then move on.
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Old 08-01-2009, 10:27 AM   #9
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One comment. A girl who likes you would have never turned down having you walk her to her car. Even a woman who is independent would have taken the offer thus getting some more time to talk to you. The email was not too much. Heck I'd rather know how he felt.
With both the refusal of your company to her car and no response I'd say she just isn't in to you.
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Old 08-01-2009, 10:24 PM   #10
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One comment. A girl who likes you would have never turned down having you walk her to her car.
Great point!
Instead, you should have just took the initiative to walk her instead of asking.
Remember, girls like guys who take action.
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Old 08-02-2009, 03:20 AM   #11
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Quote:
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the email might have scared her off a little
Not if she's diggin' you.

I'll have to agree with Lil Bastrd on this.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lil Bastrd View Post
One comment. A girl who likes you would have never turned down having you walk her to her car. Even a woman who is independent would have taken the offer thus getting some more time to talk to you. The email was not too much. Heck I'd rather know how he felt.
With both the refusal of your company to her car and no response I'd say she just isn't in to you.
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Old 08-29-2009, 03:39 AM   #12
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you came off as desperate and clingy/needy, you even said so yourself when she didn't reply you called, and when she didn't pick up you wanted to call again. This is not something most girls look for in a guy
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Old 08-29-2009, 11:40 PM   #13
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holy batman! thread revival!
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Old 08-30-2009, 11:05 PM   #14
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so any luck ?
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Old 08-31-2009, 08:04 AM   #15
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update!
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Old 08-31-2009, 10:24 AM   #16
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hey guys, thanks for all the advice here

afterall the thinking and advice from friends, I decided that I give her a call one day but didn't pick up so ohh well, her loss.

I guess should just keep on moving on with other potentials out there.
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Old 09-03-2009, 04:22 PM   #17
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sorry to hear that. In all reality though I wouldn't have expected a different response.
Eye contact and interaction can just be from being polite. If a girl is actually interested she will take the opportunity to spend some more time with you. I always look at it this way, if you've contacted them twice with no response it's very unlikely that they didn't get either of the messages so it's time to walk on taking yourself on to more adventures.
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Old 09-04-2009, 06:08 PM   #18
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Quote:
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the email is a courtesy thing, i dont see any wrong in it

you didn't supply sufficient details for us to analyze this situation

my guess is that she has other options and she's not that into you
+2
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