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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 08-13-2009, 01:12 AM   #1
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[Confidential] Feeling left out

The following is an Anonymous submission from a Revscene member. If the OP would like to respond to anything said in this thread, please PM me.


A coworker from another department is getting married soon. He invited some of the people he works directly with to his wedding - which makes sense. He also invited two girls from my department.

What bothers me is that I wasn't invited! You see, every few months, we (as in the groom, the two girls from my department [plus one's partner, other is single], plus 2 other girls [and their partners] who used to work here) all hang out after work for drinks, dinner, etc. The last time we went out, I even met his fiancee! The reason we started hanging out together even though he's from another area is because we're all around the same age (early to mid 30s), and we all started around the same time. If I find out he invited those 2 girls that don't work here anymore, I'm gonna be real pissed!

I guess I just feel left out. Or what I thought of our "friendship" was totally wrong. Next time one of us suggests hanging out, I'm gonna be a dick and not go!

Am I just being a pussy, or am I right in feeling this way?

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Old 08-13-2009, 01:22 AM   #2
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who cares is a wedding. Maybe he though u were too close to his fiancee?

Just leave it. If he ask you out sure go for it. If he doens't invite you then whatever.
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Old 08-13-2009, 09:33 AM   #3
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I'd be happy not having to go.

But in your case, no. I wouldn't be offended.
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Old 08-13-2009, 10:27 AM   #4
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you should be glad, at least you don't have to buy him a wedding gift.
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Old 08-13-2009, 10:49 AM   #5
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I'd be happy not having to go.

But in your case, no. I wouldn't be offended.
Agreed. If it wasn't family or a super close friend, I rather not go.
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Old 08-13-2009, 11:09 AM   #6
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You know how much a wedding cost? Not everyone can be invited...don't be so offended. It's his wedding afterall.

I'm thinking he used you to get to the girls. Did you ever go out with just you and groom? I bet he'd only go out if the girls went out as well.
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Old 08-13-2009, 12:31 PM   #7
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Is OP a girl?
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Old 08-13-2009, 12:36 PM   #8
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Saves you money and you don't have to spend hours being bored to death.
It seems like you're not that close to the guy at all.
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Old 08-13-2009, 12:46 PM   #9
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assuming you're a girl: yeah weddings are really expensive, he can't afford to invite everyone. i think it was a bad move on his part to invite any coworkers at all though. inviting some, but not others, is a bit of a dick move haha

if you're a guy: whatever man, suck it up! =p
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Old 08-13-2009, 01:47 PM   #10
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Agreed. If it wasn't family or a super close friend, I rather not go.
I didn't even want to go to my own wedding.
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Old 08-13-2009, 02:03 PM   #11
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same think happened to me. except got invited to wedding and not the reception afterwards. i knew the person for years and worked with them a lot. even went to the same highschool and knew many of the same people.

people at the wedding asked if i was going to dinner after. boy can you imagine how i felt saying "I wan't invited..." like you said maybe they don't think of you as that close. its a cold slap in the face. but you gotta suck it up. we all aren't as popular as we think we are.

i woulda rather she not have mentioned the wedding to me at all.

athough it is true, you cant invite everyone you'd like to. a budget is finite.
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Old 08-13-2009, 02:24 PM   #12
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it's a wedding dude, not a bachelor's party
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Old 08-13-2009, 02:29 PM   #13
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congrats the guy on the wedding and show ur interested, if u r really desperate to go...
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Old 08-13-2009, 04:59 PM   #14
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lol i love not having to go to random weddings
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Old 08-13-2009, 07:26 PM   #15
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crash the wedding
just invite yourself
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Old 08-13-2009, 11:21 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asian_XL View Post
you should be glad, at least you don't have to buy him a wedding gift.
Heh, that's what my wife said. Doesn't really apply to me cuz if you're in my good books (which he WAS), I'm pretty generous...

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Originally Posted by vo_hantu View Post
I'm thinking he used you to get to the girls. Did you ever go out with just you and groom? I bet he'd only go out if the girls went out as well.
Nah, he does his job well and is very helpful, so he's pretty popular with everyone in the office. No, I haven't gone out with just the groom himself.

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Is OP a girl?
No, I'm a dude. But currently, it feels like I just grew a vagina.

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It seems like you're not that close to the guy at all.
Guess this is the truest statement of all.

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Originally Posted by RabidRat View Post
assuming you're a girl: yeah weddings are really expensive, he can't afford to invite everyone. i think it was a bad move on his part to invite any coworkers at all though. inviting some, but not others, is a bit of a dick move haha

if you're a guy: whatever man, suck it up! =p
Yeah my wife told me to suck it up. I have no problem with him inviting his immediate coworkers - I have a problem with him inviting two of MY immediate coworkers and not me, even though we all hang out after work for drinks! When I got married, I invited my immediate coworkers...

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Originally Posted by tiger_handheld View Post
congrats the guy on the wedding and show ur interested, if u r really desperate to go...
Well, the wedding is today (Friday)...

Thanks for your reply, Turbo E; it's nice to see that I'm not the only person to feel this way.

At the very least, I hope he considered inviting me. Man, I used to not care about these sort of things. I guess this touches upon the basic human need of wanting to feel included. Sucks to be on the outside looking in.
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Old 08-14-2009, 12:32 AM   #17
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I don't know about you, but having to go to so many weddings in a span of 5 years is tedious. I'd rather not go...
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Old 08-15-2009, 01:13 AM   #18
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The following is a reply from the Anonymous poster

I forgot to mention that the main reason this has been bugging me so much is the fact that I kinda expected to be invited (how presumptuous) - especially if the 2 coworkers from my area were invited. Ironically, I've always told people to have low/no expectations so that they'll never be disappointed.
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Old 08-15-2009, 01:53 AM   #19
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you all would feel leftover if someone didnt invite u to their wedding
nothing wrong with how the OP feels

dont lie guys
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Old 08-15-2009, 01:11 PM   #20
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dont lie guys
No lie. I'd rather not go.
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Old 08-20-2009, 01:31 PM   #21
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i would be too.

I've been passed up before when I thought i'm close to the bride or groom. When this kinda shit happens, I just stop talking to them. If they actually care, they'd call back.

You did a little better than me. I was supposed to be best man at a good friend's (known him for 5+ years, helped him through a lot of shit) wedding until I got into an arguement with another groomsman over something else and he smacked talked about me out of it.

And they didn't even tell me straight up. I found out from someone else. lol.

Needless to say. Not really gonna bother with the dude no more. As a matter of fact, the whole group of them.

So cheer up. Shit happens. Just brush the dirt off your shoulders and walk on.
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Old 08-20-2009, 06:01 PM   #22
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If you really want to go, why not invite your friends and him to get some drinks? That way he could remember you, because maybe he just forgot.
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Old 08-24-2009, 12:45 AM   #23
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Look on the bright side, you don't have to spend any cash.
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Old 08-24-2009, 01:04 AM   #24
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Look on the bright side, you don't have to spend any cash.
What's your "Number" Razor Ramon? I'll give you a "call" when I'm lonely.
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Old 09-01-2009, 02:33 PM   #25
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i like vaginas


wedding crashherrrr



think this way, u saved money for not giving him money/gifts
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