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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 09-04-2009, 10:21 PM   #1
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[Confidential] Friend's friend

The following is an Anonymous submission from a Revscene member. If the OP would like to respond to anything said in this thread, please PM me.


I'll try to keep this as short as possible. Too much info can be overwhelming.

Earlier this week I went out to chill with some friends, there was a friend of his there who I managed to exchange PINs with so the next day we were bbm'ing back and forth pretty much the entire day, jokes here and there, maybe a little flirting but who knows, its bbm. I'll just call her "A".
From what A was saying it seemed there was slight interest.

So I was invited out to a club that night with her and a couple of her friends, so I brought a buddy along with me.
After we finally found them we went up to the bar and ordered some drinks.

So she's standing there with her girlfriend waiting to order drinks and Im making small talk with her and one of her friends decides to go sit down and wait.

I wanted to dance with "A" but I know she will be dancing with her friends too. I leaned in and asked if A's friend was single and she said yeah. So I turned back to my buddy and told him that she was single and that he could move in on her. I turn back to her and she asks me why I'm asking. (Keep in mind I'm really only there to move in on A, not her friends)
I didnt want her thinking I wanted her friend so I told her my buddy needed someone to dance with.

So to keep it short, we danced a bit, joked around a little it, maybe a little more flirting but my buddy and I couldnt keep following them around everywhere like bitches so we decided to go off on our own for a bit then leave shortly after.

When we get home she doesnt BBM me, but bbms my buddy asking where we went. We didnt say bye or anything we just left without notice. My buddy just tells her that he had to leave because he had work in the morning

So today I bbm once but she doesnt answer. How do I go about making contact without seeming like I'm desperate? My theory is that she might be a little peeved that we left? But thats assuming she was interested

A few ppl say wait it out for a few days then contact her again, so I have no idea. I dont know the rules/etiquette of these types of situations.

Women...

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Old 09-04-2009, 10:53 PM   #2
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She digs your friend.
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Old 09-04-2009, 10:56 PM   #3
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^fraid so
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Old 09-04-2009, 11:21 PM   #4
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time to beat up your frd.
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Old 09-04-2009, 11:23 PM   #5
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I don't want to just jump on the above bandwagon but I can't see why she would really bbm your buddy over you... unless she was honestly peev'd at the fact that you left without notice...

Did she spend much time with your buddy that day? Like you said in your story it seems as though your friend was with A's friend for the time that you were with A... so I can't see how she'd really be into your friend if the majority of the small talk and dancing was done with you.

Why exactly didn't you say goodbye though? Especially since she's the one who invited you out?
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Old 09-05-2009, 12:04 AM   #6
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i have to +1 to all the ones above and +2 on bagel... being a gentlemen... even if you're not interested you should say bye... its just proper...

but then again girls aren't usually that fussy unless she really felt like you abandoned her...

if she just met your friend thne either she's drunk or she's definately into your friend and doesn't want to continue bbming you incase she wants to hook up...

is ur friend more alpha male than you?
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Old 09-05-2009, 12:51 AM   #7
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I don't want to just jump on the above bandwagon but I can't see why she would really bbm your buddy over you... unless she was honestly peev'd at the fact that you left without notice...
No. OP's friend left the girls behind as well. Yet despite that, it didn't stop Girl A from getting chummy with OP's friend on bbm.

Her priorities changed because she's diggin' the friend more. And she's probably a bit cold so it won't be awkward between your friend and her should anything materialize.

At best, the only thing I see you get out of it is something platonic.
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Old 09-05-2009, 01:44 AM   #8
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If you think she was interested, maybe she was, also at the same thinking you were interested in her. So maybe by you not saying bye and sort of booking it to her meant you werent really into her?
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Old 09-05-2009, 02:37 AM   #9
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lol why would u show up / go to the club and not spend time with her and bail shortly after

i wouldnt "bbm" u back either hahahah
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Old 09-05-2009, 02:51 AM   #10
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i think u should apologize for leaving.. nothing drastic. just say something along the lines off .. sorry i never got a chance to say goodbye. (make up an excuse) and say maybe we can get together sometime next weekend if your up for it)

if she brings a few friends.. bring your buddy. if you like her.. maybe try to make it a one on one date.. something over coffee or w.e

if that fails.. shes into your friend. most likely into your friend. you have to be careful when you bring buddies.. things can backfire
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Old 09-05-2009, 08:22 AM   #11
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I wouldn't apologize for leaving. just forget about that.
don't contact her for a while. if a week go by and she hasn't contacted you, call her for something fun.
if she has any interest in you, she'll be wondering why you haven't called for so long. take advantage of that
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Old 09-05-2009, 09:57 AM   #12
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I wouldn't apologize for leaving. just forget about that.
don't contact her for a while. if a week go by and she hasn't contacted you, call her for something fun.
if she has any interest in you, she'll be wondering why you haven't called for so long. take advantage of that
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Old 09-05-2009, 10:40 AM   #13
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The following is a reply from the Anonymous member

Well to clear things up we really left because we didnt wanna be following these chicks around all night. They were walking all over the place and following them made us look like bitches.

I guess I was also a little choked at myself because things werent going so great, not being able to grind up on her, club being way too packed and so on.
So out of frustration I just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. But thinking back on it now I definitely should have said something

To answer the question about alphamaleness, no my friend is in no way superior to me. And to be brutally honest he said about 2 words to all of them the entire night. Other than that A and my friend havent really exchanged any kind of words. Its been me the entire time so I'm not too sure how she could be digging my buddy when theyve never said anything to each other.

I dont have any problems making this chick laugh or starting flirtatious moments so I'm really lost
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Old 09-05-2009, 11:30 AM   #14
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damn seems u always have tons of relatinship problems, and every thread is the same title



so she knows ur buddy already? otherwise she wouldnt have his BBM? are u intersted in her? otherwise why do u feel jealous/bad
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Old 09-05-2009, 02:29 PM   #15
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lol don't apologize for leaving it makes you seem like a bitch. You should have texted her when you left. If she's playing hard to get why don't you just one up her and start 'bbm'ing HER friend. That, or just don't talk to her for a week and see what happens.
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Old 09-05-2009, 04:13 PM   #16
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what is BBM?

Bare back making love?
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Old 09-05-2009, 04:18 PM   #17
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what is BBM?

Bare back making love?
Pretty sure he's making reference to Blackberry messenger haha..
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Old 09-05-2009, 04:21 PM   #18
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^^ ahh ic, i dont use Blackberry so didnt kno
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Old 09-05-2009, 05:22 PM   #19
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what is BBM?

Bare back making love?

Big Beautiful Men



LOL I was wondering the same..




Back on Topic: I dont think she would be mad at you and not your friend. Seems like she wants to get with your bud.
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Old 09-05-2009, 07:01 PM   #20
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1) forget about the BBM, you are one fucking pussy not to call her directly and apologize. Yes, you may not have problem making her laugh or starting flirtatious moments, but you fail to know what a woman is looking for,

2) it's normal they dance and move around. Girls don't like it to be so obvious to stay with you all night long. You couldn't wait, and you've loss your chance.

3) she has added points to your friends, and no points for you. I bet their first word must be "can I have your bbm?" second would would be "sure, I'll send it over." Very lame excuse to say "oh I get to work tomorrow", it is as stupid as "my dog swallowed my hw"
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