| Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum. |
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09-30-2009, 02:08 PM
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#1 | | RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
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| The Guys' Rules
I got this e-mail at work. Thought I would share.  Quote: The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "The Rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh
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Last edited by shenmecar; 09-30-2009 at 02:27 PM.
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09-30-2009, 02:14 PM
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#2 | | Media Officer / MOD
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hahaha good read
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09-30-2009, 02:20 PM
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#3 | | I subscribe to Revscene
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very true indeed
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09-30-2009, 02:29 PM
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#4 | | I answer every Emotion with an emoticon
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oh man, so true
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Ignorance is bliss
How I wish I can remain ignorant, why do I know so much?
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09-30-2009, 03:04 PM
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#5 | | MiX iT Up!
Join Date: May 2006 Location: vancouver
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awesome!
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Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who couldn't give up on them.
Make the effort and take the risk..
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." - Eleanor Roosevelt | |
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09-30-2009, 03:46 PM
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#6 | | I *Fwap* *Fwap* *Fwap* to RS
Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: vancouver
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couple of those on there are right on the money. The toilet seat one is pretty good and Sunday sports my girlfriend still cant understand why I watch sunday football religously or any canucks game.
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"Make love not war, condoms are cheaper than guns"
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09-30-2009, 03:48 PM
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#7 | | Ubereem Mod
Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Richmond
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indeed very true
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Culture_Vulture  sometimes I like to use kindergarten art class scissors to cut my pubes | | |
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09-30-2009, 03:53 PM
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#8 | | What hasn't Killed me, has made me more tolerant of RS!
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hahaha..... I like the one about go see a doctor. My gf is always complaining about having really bad stomach aches and I keep telling her to go get it checked out. Does she ever go?? Nope!!
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09-30-2009, 03:58 PM
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#9 | | I am on the internets
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by mazdaboi hahaha..... I like the one about go see a doctor. My gf is always complaining about having really bad stomach aches and I keep telling her to go get it checked out. Does she ever go?? Nope!! | hahahahahaaaa
shes fucking someone else bro!
__________________
"As Sir Francis Bacon once said, 'There is no beauty which hath not some strangeness about its proportions'.
And he's right, who ever he is. I mean, look at Keira Knightley.
She's just an ironing board with a face. And she works." - JC on the Alfa 8C
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09-30-2009, 04:47 PM
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#10 | | I *heart* Revscene.net very Muchie
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^^ HAAH
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09-30-2009, 04:48 PM
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#11 | | Banned (ABWS)
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this is best
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
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09-30-2009, 05:02 PM
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#12 | | What hasn't Killed me, has made me more tolerant of RS!
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by maxx hahahahahaaaa
shes fucking someone else bro! | yeah..... I don't think constant stomach pains and diarrhea are symptoms of pregnancy.... good try though!! | |
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09-30-2009, 05:06 PM
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#13 | | Even when im right, revscene.net is still right!
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by mazdaboi yeah..... I don't think constant stomach pains and diarrhea are symptoms of pregnancy.... good try though!! | They are if she's getting bladder infections / yeast infections from other guys!
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09-30-2009, 05:19 PM
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#14 | | What hasn't Killed me, has made me more tolerant of RS!
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Sorry!!! Bladder infection or yeast infection symptoms would mainly be discharge and burning sensation when pissing... try again.
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09-30-2009, 05:57 PM
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#15 | | :inoutugh:
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: GTA VI
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by mazdaboi hahaha..... I like the one about go see a doctor. My gf is always complaining about having really bad stomach aches and I keep telling her to go get it checked out. Does she ever go?? Nope!! | lol noob.
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09-30-2009, 06:01 PM
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#16 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
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soo trueee 
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RIP JN
UNCE UNCE UNCE! Quote:
Originally Posted by strykn Comparing A&B with deadmau5? Really? I should fucking slap you | 2007 Acura TL 2005 Acura TL....RIP 2003 Honda Accord Coupe V6....RIP | |
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09-30-2009, 07:04 PM
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#17 | | Ask me about how I answered the question "How fat is TOO fat?"
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It's true how I don't mind the couch sometimes, especially on a drunken night
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I'm so stance my roof rack got a roof rack
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Former
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uc1 5AT
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db7 5AT - RIP Quote:
Originally Posted by toyota86 the guys over at lambo vancouver said there are 60-70 pre-orders already. don't quote me though. | | |
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09-30-2009, 08:43 PM
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#18 | | Registered User
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great read
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09-30-2009, 09:49 PM
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#19 | | YOU CANT CUT BACK ON FUNDING! YOU WILL REGRET THIS
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by TOS'd lol noob. | now now, don't go around calling people noobs or else they will have their "first webraging" thread
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Where the hell am I
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09-30-2009, 10:03 PM
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#20 | | RS Operative (G)
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that was g00d
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10-01-2009, 09:26 AM
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#21 | | Hypa owned my ass at least once
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by mazdaboi yeah..... I don't think constant stomach pains and diarrhea are symptoms of pregnancy.... good try though!! | You'd date someone with chronic diarrhea?
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10-01-2009, 09:57 AM
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#22 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
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read this one before but everything is true nonetheless
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10-01-2009, 11:36 AM
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#23 | | RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by Noir You'd date someone with chronic diarrhea? | Maybe shes really good in bed?  | |
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10-01-2009, 03:24 PM
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#24 | | Wunder? Wonder?? Wander???
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: vancouver
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Originally Posted by shenmecar Maybe shes really good in bed? | ya, til it rushes past ur nuts.
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10-01-2009, 03:48 PM
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#25 | | Unofficial Tin Foil Hat Specialist.
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| Quote: |
I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
| I always use this one. 
Anyway, most of them are pretty true.
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