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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 10-06-2009, 12:13 AM   #1
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Dating outside of your race/culture?

I'm EI, I've mainly dated EI women over the past few years but recently I've decided to date non-EI's and when I say date, I mean I'm looking for something serious and not just a fling. My parents would prefer if I married within my culture but their views are changing. I was wondering how many of you are dating outside of your race? How is it working out for you? Is it against your parents wishes?

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Old 10-06-2009, 01:41 AM   #2
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as long as he/she respects your culture and parents.

you will have to do a lot of explaining why this and that, it takes a lot of time.
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Old 10-06-2009, 07:25 AM   #3
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Im chinese and my girlfriend is white

Its going good so far, ive had the talk with the parents and kept on telling them that the future is going to change and ill probably be with someone else
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Old 10-06-2009, 08:08 AM   #4
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my parents dont care, as long as the girl makes me happy they could care less about what color she is. My parents are cool as hell
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Old 10-06-2009, 08:22 AM   #5
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i don't care at all. It all depends on the girl.

My parents can care less too.
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Old 10-06-2009, 09:24 AM   #6
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I'm white and have dated asian, persian girls for 1 year and 3 years respectively. Their parents didn't care I was white. Well the persian dad was kinda skeptical at first but he was awesome after a month (better than my own parents lol). Miss her family a lot.
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Old 10-06-2009, 09:34 AM   #7
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Like others here, my parents didn't care what culture their kids would date. They knew that if they were coming to Canada that it there would be a strong possibility of us not dating Chinese people. My sister has been going out with a white guy for the last 6 years. I'm going out with a young, Egyptian girl. My parents are happy for both of us.
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Old 10-06-2009, 11:04 AM   #8
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my parents dont care, as long as the girl makes me happy they could care less about what color she is.
Totally agree with this.
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Old 10-06-2009, 11:46 AM   #9
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Like others here, my parents didn't care what culture their kids would date. They knew that if they were coming to Canada that it there would be a strong possibility of us not dating Chinese people. My sister has been going out with a white guy for the last 6 years. I'm going out with a young, Egyptian girl. My parents are happy for both of us.
was it the one u were mentioning about b4?
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Old 10-06-2009, 12:00 PM   #10
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my parents dont care, as long as the girl makes me happy they could care less about what color she is. My parents are cool as hell
i wish my parents are as cool as urs
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Old 10-06-2009, 12:02 PM   #11
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Im chinese and my girlfriend is white

Its going good so far, ive had the talk with the parents and kept on telling them that the future is going to change and ill probably be with someone else
LOL that's terrible!
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Old 10-06-2009, 12:10 PM   #12
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^LOL...that is terrible..

I've only dated within my race, but I dunno if a girl made me happy and was awesome in every way, then I would be blind to what colour she was. I'm EI and my parents would prefer someone who was also EI, but I think they understand just as much as us younger folk, it doesn't make a difference today. Divorce rates seem to be going up so much, even in the EI community, so finding someone regardless of race who makes you happy is the most important thing.
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Old 10-06-2009, 02:20 PM   #13
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^LOL...that is terrible..

I've only dated within my race, but I dunno if a girl made me happy and was awesome in every way, then I would be blind to what colour she was. I'm EI and my parents would prefer someone who was also EI, but I think they understand just as much as us younger folk, it doesn't make a difference today. Divorce rates seem to be going up so much, even in the EI community, so finding someone regardless of race who makes you happy is the most important thing.
Exactly what I was talking to my mom about yesterday. The amount of divorces in the EI community is alarming compared to the last 5-10 years. I know 3 people who have divorced within a year of marriage and none of the marriages were forced.
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Old 10-06-2009, 03:35 PM   #14
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Quote:
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was it the one u were mentioning about b4?
Yup. Things are going great.


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Exactly what I was talking to my mom about yesterday. The amount of divorces in the EI community is alarming compared to the last 5-10 years. I know 3 people who have divorced within a year of marriage and none of the marriages were forced.
Divorces are way too common these days. I don't see it as being specific to EIs. I guess people see marriages as a short-term commitment, or something? Perhaps people get married to quickly? In terms of Christians, I've been observing engagements happening as early as 3-6 months into the relationship. A good chunk of them are first-ever relationships for one or both partners. I could see people realizing that they didn't find the right person to spend the rest of their life with due to lack of relationship experience.

My girl and I both had our fair share of relationships, and we know what we're looking for in a partner. We know we love each other, but marriage is still a ways off due to school and work. We don't see a reason to rush, anyways.
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Old 10-06-2009, 03:58 PM   #15
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me being asian and dating asian chicks are great but there is some kinda space or reserve i guess distance in communication...i've dated white, ei and there wasn't that problem for me

but i'm down with any race as long as there boobs and ass involved
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Old 10-06-2009, 07:11 PM   #16
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Yup. Things are going great.




Divorces are way too common these days. I don't see it as being specific to EIs. I guess people see marriages as a short-term commitment, or something? Perhaps people get married to quickly? In terms of Christians, I've been observing engagements happening as early as 3-6 months into the relationship. A good chunk of them are first-ever relationships for one or both partners. I could see people realizing that they didn't find the right person to spend the rest of their life with due to lack of relationship experience.

My girl and I both had our fair share of relationships, and we know what we're looking for in a partner. We know we love each other, but marriage is still a ways off due to school and work. We don't see a reason to rush, anyways.

Well it's hard to explain but the thing was back in the days you would never hear about a divorce in the EI community. It was maybe the worst thing a couple could do and most of the times the woman would have a tough time getting remarried because people would assume something was wrong with her and not her husband. So most couples just stuck it out and never got divorced but times have changed and now it's almost become a trend.
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Old 10-06-2009, 10:04 PM   #17
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Like someone said when it's all said and done at the day all that matters is that you're happy. Cuz in the end it's not really your parents or anyone else dating her it's YOU.

I'm chinese and I've dated outside my race, but I guess I'm a slight bit traditional with my parents having shitty english to want to be dating someone who speaks chinese or mandarin as well. Regardless of that fact, my parents don't really care. My sister is married to a white guy so they're happy as long as we're happy.
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Old 10-06-2009, 10:52 PM   #18
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Date as many girls as you can, cause by the end of it, you'll definately know what you don't like.
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Old 10-07-2009, 12:02 AM   #19
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Date as many girls as you can, cause by the end of it, you'll definately know what you don't like.
Exactly. Say you're Asian and you like to slip back and forth between Chinglish and make dumb Asian jokes. Chances are any relationship with a white gal won't go far. That's what I found out any way, better to have someone that could put up with you/your culture/your immediate community. I mean, if she was totally yellow-washed (?) that would work. Or a halfer of the same washed-ness.

But I digress.
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Old 10-07-2009, 01:06 AM   #20
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As long as you're happy I'm sure it's good2go

I've dated alot of races, but rarely in my own race. I would like to date within my culture, but all the KRN's i kno aren't really date-able and if they are...they "use" to date someone i kno, which gets akward if they are close.
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Old 10-07-2009, 02:44 PM   #21
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My mom is asian and married my dad who is white, so I thought she would be understanding towards me getting married to someone fro a different race, but my mom has been racist to my gf over the years... :S go figure...

Both sides of me and my gfs families are non-traditional, so its not too big of a deal, but i do notice being different races becomes more of an issue the more serious the relationship became...

I think it all depends on how traditional each family is. I'm lucky my girls family is not super traditional, otherwise they might think differently of her getting really serious with me.. with my side, they cant really say much otherwise they would come off as being hypocritical.
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Old 10-13-2009, 12:14 PM   #22
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whats EI? and i've had no problems dating outside of my culture. but i think i may have a pinay addiction... :
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Old 10-13-2009, 12:48 PM   #23
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whats EI? and i've had no problems dating outside of my culture. but i think i may have a pinay addiction... :
EI = East Indian
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Old 10-13-2009, 04:33 PM   #24
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Fk Jah, i'm possibly living ur future...

I've dated literally almost every race u can find 'round here. White, half white-half hindu (i say hindu, instead of brown bcuz saying "brown" doesn't mean shit, mexican's are brown, tanned whites are brown, etc), persian, Punjabi (only one of em, never really worked fer me), and lastly Asian, and when i say asian, the first was half nammer/half white, the next was str8 chinese, and my current one is full nammer.

Ino, seems like a trend going here and my buddy's always ask me how the heck i get the asians (cuz i guess its still not very common), but its nothing i've really looked for or exclusively sought out. I think it can be simply attributed to one's environment/social structure (and i'm catch, aha, jk). But ya, my desi parents are still pretty ol' skool when it comes to this stuff, even tho they've been here for ~30 years. Bloody sucks.

I've never been open about my past relationships w/ them, not necessarily cuz of the race thing, but just because we've never had that open communication in our relationship (which sucks too).
Anyhow, the past 2 years have been pretty rough. I was dating a E.I., quite seriously too, and found myself making a mental checklist of why this was the right gal for me. For example, she was good looking (subjective, its all what you think/feel), great career finishing her phD in Phsychology, loaded family (big $$$), and she was punjabi, so i figured, perfect, i will make this work.

Then i had an epiphany, that i shouldn't have to make a checklist, it should just "feel" right and work. Thats when i realized i was staying w/ the E.I. just cuz of that, she was E.I. I figured its not fair to her or me and it needed to end (i hid all sorts of shit from her and never was truly myself). Anyhow, hardest thing to do, break up w/ a sexy, loaded, young gal, for no reason other than "i'm just not that into you" haha...
So then I started w/ my gf, a vietnamese gal. We knew each other from social circles for a few years, but never really close. Anyhow, fast forward and we're still together and goin strong.
BUT the last 2 yrs been tough. I felt like i was living two lives. My "real" adult life w/ her. Doin everything u do in a serious relationship, vacay's, dog, going to weddings, etc. But then i'd have my lil' "desi" life, where my parents knew about her, but just would't talk about it or discuss. They just assumed is "all fun". So this was understandable killing me (and by default her). So i layed it down to the folks a couple of weeks ago, and well, it has not gone over good. Pops has barely spoken to me since, and moms just choked. Anyhow, i felt uber guilty as they feel so strongly about the "cultural" stuff, but said to myself, fkit, this is my life and i have to live it.

So, gonna do what i gotta do, and i hope that they eventually come around/accept it, instead of just saying our son's a sellout, yadada.

Problem is, the ol' skool folks in our community are so worried about what they think other people will think. Fact is, other ppl too busy w/ their own lives to give a rats ass. Its just the "omigod, what vill people say?!"

Man, sorry bout the long post, but felt this is very "on-topic", haha.

btw, I left out lotsa stuff here, but u get the pic. Also, her parents have finally started to warm up to me, but her siblings have been cool w/ me for a long time.

And if ur parents views are changing now, lucky u.
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Old 10-13-2009, 04:46 PM   #25
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^ are you an immigrant? it seems you have a tenuous grasp on the English language, i could barely make it through half that post, but ill let you know that tanned white guys and mexicans are not "brown people"
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