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Relationship & Gender Discussion THIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE!
The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 10-13-2009, 01:25 PM   #1
I STILL don't get it
 
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Is there a chance of this happening?

excuse my engrish..

So.. after taking RS's advise giving up the K girl. moved on, met alot other girls, some have became real close friends where they can instantly tell when im not happy, but one of them has become a little bit of an issue..

She is 19, lives in richmond, had 2~3 serious relationships before, now single(obviously). We met weirdly through a friend of mine, and i've seen her way back when i used to visit alot where she used to work, she recognizes me from way back as well.. we talked and talked.. i had no problem making her laugh and putting her into a good mood.. for a few days after that she began to call me almost everyday during my work and ask if im doing anything afterwards.. and would rush me to get off work cuz she was bored.. she drives, but she would always let me pick her up and drop her off afterwards..

(she lives in richmond, i live in surrey, i work in langley, and she has lots friends in richmond) <- this is what threw me and my friends off..

i started to have feelings for her (FUCK.. i know.. ) and she also started to realize that.. until one day when she confirmed it with my other friend.. she told my friend she didnt know what to do.. she had no feelings for me.. and didnt know what she has done to made me like her.. things became weird cuz i felt she was avoiding me.. my friend asked if she would give me a try.. then she answered "how do i give him a chance when i dont even have feelings for him"..

so one day i called her and told her i will pick her up from work and got stuff to tell her.. i basically told her everything including how i feel.. her response was "whats wrong with being friends" (as she apparently was not into me and had no feelings) so i told her i dont mind being friends for now if shes not ready but definitly not going for friendship.. as i got more feelings than just friendship towards her.. i also told her if one day things change let me know..

so now she doesnt call me.. she would call my friend instead.. she doesnt facebook me anymore.. she still picks up my call even if its late like 2am.. i dunno..

Do girls often change their mind?
like in this case am i shot again? or do i have a chance?
she definitly know im not a friend material, and she definitly know im not looking for friendship with her, and she definitly know all my feelings towards her..

just looking for another awesome feedback from this awesome Community.

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Old 10-13-2009, 01:39 PM   #2
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you just probably made it awkward for her so shes avoiding you...

give it some time, avoid too much contact with her for now and dont keep calling or asking her why shes not answering or u'll start to annoy her/make u look like a creep
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Old 10-13-2009, 01:52 PM   #3
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dont' dive into it so fast man.
don't let them know you are interested, make them wait
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Old 10-13-2009, 02:04 PM   #4
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You definitely did right by being upfront with her. Lest you waste a year figuring out that you've been friendzoned.

But she's ALSO definitely doing right by not entertaining your companionship anymore, lest you get the wrong message that she's leading you on, or are using you for her convenience. At least she's cordial enough she'll still accepts your phone calls.

But since the ball is in her court, there's really not much you can do.
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Old 10-13-2009, 02:26 PM   #5
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Good job for confessing. Now that she is done & over with, time to move to ur next target.
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Old 10-13-2009, 04:57 PM   #6
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i think it was a good move to tell her this in the beginning so she won't friendzone you
but you have made some mistakes on your part, ie she rushing you to get off work to hang out? g/f gets that priority not friends, you know that she drives so make her drive sometimes, cuz being friends is 50/50 no 100/0
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Old 10-13-2009, 05:47 PM   #7
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its over bro,

next!
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Old 10-13-2009, 06:42 PM   #8
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i'd think that most of the time girls don't change their mind about this stuff... unless you're lucky, like some of the rs'ers here. well, you're a guy, would 'you' change your mind if that happened?
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Old 10-13-2009, 07:00 PM   #9
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Nope time to move on. Learn from this experience and don't be so easy next time.
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Old 10-13-2009, 07:03 PM   #10
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Seems like it's done. You have a chance if she communicates with you again, but that's gonna be a low %
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Old 10-13-2009, 07:27 PM   #11
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you didn't do anything wrong, shes not into you, let it go

dont mull over her and give her calls at 2am that's just weird

move on
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Old 10-13-2009, 07:40 PM   #12
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Friendzoneeeeee
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Old 10-13-2009, 07:47 PM   #13
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next!

since she is disposable - try the "can i tap that" you got nothing to lose...
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Old 10-13-2009, 08:23 PM   #14
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The advice you people give seem a bit contradictory...

Don't be so easy => waiting 1yr to find out you're friendzoned
Confess => fail

either way is fail
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Old 10-13-2009, 09:24 PM   #15
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Quote:
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dont' dive into it so fast man.
don't let them know you are interested, make them wait
this is what i like to do. don't treat them like a gf when they're not.
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Old 10-13-2009, 10:52 PM   #16
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maybe if you didnt develop feelings for her as fast, or show them, then you mightve had a higher chance
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Old 10-13-2009, 11:03 PM   #17
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The advice you people give seem a bit contradictory...

Don't be so easy => waiting 1yr to find out you're friendzoned
Confess => fail

either way is fail
if you need to "confess" to a girl that you wanna fuck her brains out, then you are over anyways

body language and distance is so important it blows me away i never figured it out earlier

it doesnt matter if the only plans you have after work are to go home and jerk off to jailbait porn and eat kd after, you are a busy man, and she needs to get that feeling. then the brief and "brief" is the operational word here, time you get to answer some random ass text from her is important and its almost like you are doing her a favour by replying.

and when you take her out, she better understand its a date, or you are setting yourself up for a failure. body language here sets her up knowing that the only thing stopping you from jumping her bones and her having a great time of it, is the fact that you are a gentleman and your gonna play it cool.
dates end with a kiss goodnight, ive never seen 2 just friends kiss

first three times you hang out, are "dates" and each time she trusts you more, loosens up more and you ratchet up the heat. after that its all gravy and you play it how it works



the key tho is distance, because you are a fucking busy man. and shes gotta know you arent her friend ASAP cuz once that seed is planted its game over and ive never figured out how to fix that
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Old 10-13-2009, 11:49 PM   #18
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basically u were too available

and you did whatever she told u

you must move on or else your wasting your time
it is better off that you move on and learn
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Old 10-14-2009, 03:38 AM   #19
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great advise RS! as i expected! and i've decided no more calls or visits will go to her, shes got enough friends that knows about me, and they all seem welcoming when i show up at her work place even tho i didnt do it for her (i.e picking up this other girl that i know) and recently i start realizing maybe shes not the type of girls im into, so i guess its time for me to move on or lay back and watch things play, as i need a second thought about this girl anyways
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Old 10-14-2009, 07:49 AM   #20
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move on
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Old 10-14-2009, 08:10 AM   #21
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Quote:
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great advise RS! as i expected! and i've decided no more calls or visits will go to her, shes got enough friends that knows about me, and they all seem welcoming when i show up at her work place even tho i didnt do it for her (i.e picking up this other girl that i know) and recently i start realizing maybe shes not the type of girls im into, so i guess its time for me to move on or lay back and watch things play, as i need a second thought about this girl anyways
thats good to hear that you are able to separate and move on.

Im sure you can still be friends with her. Just let time go by (maybe ur at school? so maybe wait till after mid-term and ask if she wants to have a coffee/drink and just chat for fun)
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Old 10-14-2009, 09:28 AM   #22
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maybe you were a little too avoidable but nothing was really your fault. If a girl doesn't like you she doesn't like you and probably won't eventually change her mind.

With me if I am attracted to the guy it will be in the beginning and if there's chemistry then as I am friends with him and get to know him more than the feelings will either grow stronger or I will lose my attraction if I realize we're not a match. Maybe the second option is what happened to you guys.
I say move on though, there are plenty of people out there and if someone doesn't like you there is someone out there who will.
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Old 10-14-2009, 09:32 AM   #23
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Quote:
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basically u were too available

and you did whatever she told u
I don't think so.

If a girl digs you, she'd still end up liking you no matter your availability. In this specific situation, I'm sure it's more of just a case where the girl doesn't think of the OP in that way.

That's all.
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Old 10-14-2009, 10:20 AM   #24
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If a girl digs you, she'd still end up liking you no matter your availability
I think there can also be exceptions to this, example if the girl doesnt like when a guy is too available.
If he's always available it makes it seem like he has no life?
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Old 10-14-2009, 11:25 AM   #25
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We aren't talking about the girl digging you though...cuz if she digs you it's not so difficult.

It's when she doesn't like you to begin with (like in this case)...then what do you do? Being not available won't necessarily help because who's to say she'll call/find you in the first place since she's not interested in you.
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