Yea well, its different for alot of people while being "friends" feelings can develop again or grudges can be made and you end up thinking of getting back together or arguing over and over as if you never even broke up the relationship and it becomes more of a burden.

I guess it would work if you can break-up and become friends so easily and have no "feelings" whatsoever, doesn't it tell you that you never really loved him/her in the first place?

For me, if I really loved one girl, it would depend on how we broke it off to determine if we can go into the friend status

alright, when people say friends with their exes they gotta be fucking specific.

i mean an ex can be a girl you fucked once and just saw a few times right?

or that girl that got attached to you, and you dated her for a few months, but you didn't really like her, but let it drag on anyways right? do those count?

an ex can mean a girl who you almost married, an ex can be your ex wife. it could mean a girl that means nothing to you, it could mean a girl that was the entire universe.

an ex can mean a lot of shit.

I think yes, in some certain situations you can be friends with your ex. but 90% of the time you are just wasting your time and you're just a friend whore (or most likely, she is) if you try to initiate friendship again, (unless they made a really good friend as well and you both broke off mutually).

By the way, your ex sounds like... no, she is a waste of time. 4th in a year and a half? give me a break.

an ex to me is someone you officially went out with, not some girl you fucked or went out on a few dates with.

it all depends on how you broke up imo. if she was a crazy bitch and the breakup was a mess then yeah, forget being friends with her. but if you just drifted apart or broke up due to distance or something then yeah I'd say you can still be friends. Just depends on the situation.

aint gonna happen dude

In this case, I would say no. And definitely not with YOUR ex. Because she's a bitch.
WTF is a "boyfriend" figure?

I am on your side buddy, I hate the type of girls who always jump from guy to guy even after a break up, it is so selfish and stupid that they think they need a guy to make them feel good about themselves.

But to answer your question, I believe that after a break up you can still be friends, just down the road when both sides move on and you can slowly gain back a friendship.
However in your case she is really not worth your time or your efforts.

I just can't be friends with my ex's.. It's too hard at first, and too weird after.

The only way it's possible for exes to be friends is if neither has feelings towards the other anymore. When the breakup is still fresh, chance are there are still some lingering feelings. It's just too weird trying to be friends right after a breakup. There are so many things you can't do or say to each other anymore. Plus, the last thing you want is to be witness to your ex whoring themselves due to their newfound freedom.

What does she mean by "friends"?

Did you mean "friends" as in you talk/hang out/do things with each other or do you mean just "friends" as in both of you are just "in good terms" with each other post-breakup?

Because if it's the former, its usually an issue for your next relationship that you're still spending a lot of time with a partner you used to bone. If it's the latter, unless things were ugly, being cordial usually isn't a troublesome courtesy.

i am surprised at how many RSers wont be friends with their Exs....seems like such a waste.....i still believe you can be friends with Exs that had a natural break up....the ones where there are no screaming and yelling and smashing things.

I am still friends with a few of Exs and we chat on random occasions and went out for coffee too. But I also had Exs where they won't talk to me at all.

I think it just depends on the relationship and the break up

Break up sex FTW!!!.... make freinds with your ex sometimes you guys cant resist each.....

But having friends with you ex is better it shows respect to each party and sign of understanding why you guys break....

tried and didnt work out now we dont talk anymore
i think it happens but VERY rarely.. or one will fall for the other eventually
i esp. dont believe u could b frds if u never started out as friends

QFT if you weren't friends before, no point in trying to be friends after, especially if it was a bad break up. I personally just try to completely erase their existence from my life as it's easiest that way.

delete off phone, facebook, msn etc..
""out of sight, out of mind"

"Boyfriend" figure means a girl who cannot adapt to an existence without a boyfriend in her life.
Someone who would cling to a relationship and not break up with you even though they dont love you/like you anymore just coz they cant get used to being alone.
Someone who is comfortable in a lifeless relationship coz they need someone to fill up their life/time.
Someone who needs a boyfriend to pay for their shit.
Someone who needs a bitch to boss around with the pretense of 'love'.
Someone who finds a replacement bitch before breaking up with the current bitch.

my ex just called me the other day :lol, she was high on E and wanted to talk

That's tough... I'd think it depends the entire relationship start to end. I also think friends and family have an important role.

One ex, her family and friends loved me. We had a smooth relationship, after we broke up we're still good friends and talk on the phone pretty often. Her family always asks when I'm going to visit.

The other ex, my family and friends didn't like her and her's didn't like me . We had a rocky relationship and after the breakup we hated each other's guts

Like someone else stated earlier(sp) they are an ex for a reason.
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went out with ex for 2.5 years
took both of us over a year before we could properly become friends

up until that point i didn't believe in being friends after breaking up
but in the end it just depends on you + the ex's personality

I guess again it depends on the type of relationship and breakup you had.
I used to be a big believer on not being friends with an ex... ya they were an ex for a reason...

But cant the same be said that u guys were in a relationship for a reason as well? I am assuming that the ex was someone meaningful for a significant amount of time as opposed to a regular fuck / someone u dated for like 2 weeks.

One of my ex's and I had a fking bumpy relationship but were too into each other to give up. It ended in a great breakup. mutual. makeup sex and all the rest of the perks. We just didn't have time for each other/stopped being each others primary priority... but during the time we were together (over a year) we grew a lot because of one another and know everything there is to know about the other person.

Personally I think it'd be great to be able to make a lasting relationship (ie friendship) with someone who knows u that well. Of course, if the person is psycho there's no point forcing it.

to the OP. no way would she find someone in 3 days after you guys broke up. shows how much she was into u. and maybe she was into somebody else while into you... lol. good thing you showed her the door.

I was open to being friends with my ex.

Then I started dating her sister-in-law.

We are no longer open to being friends.