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Relationship & Gender Discussion THIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE!
The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 10-23-2009, 03:47 AM   #1
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Am I in the wrong?

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Old 10-23-2009, 04:46 AM   #2
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do you know what you need?

a dog collar and a cage

You know who she are. If you have trust issue with your gf, you shouldn't wait to break up with her.
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Old 10-23-2009, 07:20 AM   #3
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without knowing how long you guys have been with each other and how much financial tie you guys have with each other, it sounds to me it's pretty irresponsible for her to take a 7 week vocation right after you lost your job.

you guys might have bigger issue here such as priorities in life than you worrying about your emotion. the fact you are asking for advice here sounds to me there might already be a communication barrier between you guys.
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Old 10-23-2009, 08:52 AM   #4
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You don't have a job, yet you spent a few grand to let your gf loose on the other side of the world, by herself. She's comfortable taking all that money even though she knows you're out of work, and bummed out? When you offered to pay, did she even refuse like an understanding gf? Does making her happy always involve spending money? If so, you probably have a gold digger.
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Old 10-23-2009, 09:49 AM   #5
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You don't have a job, yet you spent a few grand to let your gf loose on the other side of the world, by herself. She's comfortable taking all that money even though she knows you're out of work, and bummed out? When you offered to pay, did she even refuse like an understanding gf? Does making her happy always involve spending money? If so, you probably have a gold digger.
i wouldn't jump to any conclusions just yet without knowing the background story as in how long they've been together.

What was her reasoning for not planning to visit her family back in China before when she knew she was going for a friends wedding, wouldn' that have been included in the thought process? Never the spur of the moment.

This story needs more background because i sense cool might be a bit older then most of the "m5driver, LG posters".
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Old 10-23-2009, 09:53 AM   #6
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without knowing how long you guys have been with each other and how much financial tie you guys have with each other, it sounds to me it's pretty irresponsible for her to take a 7 week vocation right after you lost your job.
I dont think its the fact that she's taking a vacation after he lost her job that bothers me. Its the fact that she put up no fight whatsoever when he offered to pay, knowing that he has no income right now

Hell, I say dump the girl and save yourself a few G's now, and probably alot more down the road. What argument did she have here?

And no, you werent being needy. Its pretty selfish of her as a matter of fact.

"oh ok I'll take a week long vacation, OH WAIT! My bf is gonna pay, I'll go for 7 weeks instead!"
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Old 10-23-2009, 12:48 PM   #7
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i think you dug your own grave by offering to pay for the vacation when you don't have a job

all i can suggest is let her go to china and go and find a job cuz complaining solves nothing
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Old 10-23-2009, 01:02 PM   #8
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Here's a better idea. Ditch the bitch because she doesn't care about you, but do it the fun way.buy her a return ticket online with your visa, then after she has left, either try to get the airline to refund the return part, or dispute the charge on your credit card. Either way, the selfish cunt is stuck in china, and broke. Lol. /WIN.
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Old 10-23-2009, 01:19 PM   #9
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wow I could see "Maybe" being okay with you paying for the trip IF you had a job but with you not having a job and not knowing when you next will she should have refused to let you pay for it. It is her trip so she should be paying for it herself. Secondly she won't hold off a day until after your birthday to go but will make sure she's back in time for her friends, that is a very selfish bitch. I would take back your offer to pay and put that money aside to make sure YOU are taken care of. If she breaks up with you or can't understand that you want to make sure you can cover yourself financially while going through this hard time then she is a money grubbing girl and not worth your time. it's girls like her that make the rest of us look bad
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Old 10-23-2009, 01:31 PM   #10
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buy her a 1 way ticket to Cambodia. take away her credit card and cash when she leaves and she'll know never to mess with you again/
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Old 10-23-2009, 01:36 PM   #11
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Lets face it, youre both in the wrong.

Youre wrong for offering to pay for a trip you know you cant afford. Youre trying to buy you both some happiness. Sure its a nice deed to do once in a blue moon when its warranted. Not when youre out of a job. I assume youre either blowing thru savings (which is retarded) or your powered by mom. Either way you shouldnt have offered.. trips like that arent cheap.

Shes wrong for digging on you when youre not even making any coin. She seems like the kind of girl whos trying to use you for your money regardless of whether you have it or not. maybe its time to re-evaluate things... sometimes you have to look after yourself before you look after someone else... If you cant look after number 1, how can you look after your number 2?
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Old 10-23-2009, 02:38 PM   #12
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So I end up calling her selfish and we argued a lot. Her mentality is that "so what if I'm going for 7 weeks, I'm just visiting family" But I know her, she parties a lot, she goes out and drinks more than most guys. I can picture her drinking every day and going to the clubs. And I'm worried that it'll have a negative effect on us, not to mention I feel completely lost without her. So I started feeling this regret.. regretting that I offered to pay for her to go at all.
That's normal. But still, it's a reason to worry. I say you have grounds to worry but in technicality have no right to control her.

But idealistically you should have rights to your OWN money and how it is used.

Besides, I can't imagine her leaving you if you refuse to pay for her vacation unless she's one of those type of girls you're better off without.
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Old 11-11-2009, 05:19 PM   #13
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Do what I would do. Let her have her fun overseas, while you fuck like a rabbit while she's gone
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Old 11-11-2009, 06:13 PM   #14
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retract your offer and explain your reasons without name-calling or accusations. her response to that should make it clear what her intents are in your relationship.
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Old 11-12-2009, 01:24 AM   #15
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i don't think that's selfish at all, altho i am a girl i can see your perspective and i'd feel the same too. Not only is she letting you pay for her trip (did she atleast refuse to accept the offer at first to be polite??), she is missing your birthday. Your birthday is a very important day, you're her boyfriend!! If i were her, I would do anything to be with the boyfriend for his birthday because c'mon...you gotta make the day extra special for that person that you care so much about..!!! I think that you should take this as a lesson learnt, ... never offer to pay for something so large as a plane ticket when you are jobless!!!
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Old 11-12-2009, 01:39 AM   #16
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retract your offer and explain your reasons without name-calling or accusations. her response to that should make it clear what her intents are in your relationship.
+1 retract your offer and say that you're just not sure if you have enough money to get you to your next job. see how she reacts.
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Old 11-12-2009, 01:56 AM   #17
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You have every right to be pissed off about the bday thing. 2 weeks extended to 7 weeks when you're in depression mode? This is a girl that you can do without.
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Old 11-12-2009, 04:03 AM   #18
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get rid of her.
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Old 11-12-2009, 10:43 AM   #19
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Birthdays are overrated. That being said, her coming back for her friends b-day and not yours in perspective is insulting. Even more so after you offered to buy/bought her ticket.

Ppl are bashing the gf, but the OP has his own issues as well.
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Old 11-12-2009, 12:29 PM   #20
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Any updates OP? Did you do something about it or did you just let your gf run off and party with your money?
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Old 11-12-2009, 01:52 PM   #21
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First of all, how long have you guys been together?
Second of all, why would you offer to pay for her trip for HER friend's wedding especially when you don't have a job?

If anything she should pay for it herself, it's HER friend after all, even if you offered to pay for her, she should've declined, knowing your situation. After that, she changes her mind and wants to stay for 7 weeks to visit family?

That sounds like a lot of BS. Not only that, but she's okay with missing your birthday yet makes a note of returning in time for her friend's birthday?
Seems like she's putting her friends as priority while you cover her expenses. Although, birthdays are just another day, it seems like she's just taking advantage of you and doing as she pleases.

Dump her ass and move on.
Sounds like a selfish useless bitch if she can't support her BF in his time of need and insteads goes off partying.
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Old 11-12-2009, 01:56 PM   #22
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i duno what kind of relationship u guys had before this, obviously something was right for u to be willing to pay for her vacation and all but ... now's the time to ditch her!

even if she wasn't obviously gold digging u, she is totally inconsiderate.

if she loved you at all she'd think about you first before thinking of her own selfish whims. do u even wanna bother with a girl like that in the long run?
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Old 11-12-2009, 03:43 PM   #23
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WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF why in the world would you be even paying anything for this girl. If she was your wife, MAYBE at best,
First of all, 7 WEEK? are you kidding me. THe only solution. "Let's break up, i can't see this happening, and oh, i cancelled your ticket. I'm broke and I just got laid off. *walk away" Would be the ONLY reasonable solution to ensure you and her happiness.

Good luck buddy.
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Old 11-12-2009, 06:39 PM   #24
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I pretty much agree with everyone here, if she can afford the booze and partying while out there then she can buy her own damn ticket, or at least pay for most of it and only let you cover the little bit she can't.

I like iceman's idea, except here's one better (if it can even be done). I'm assuming she won't have a direct flight from Van to China, so try to alter or cancel part of the flight so she only gets partway there. That's only if you can't fully cancel it and get your money back, though if you put it on your credit card you could probably dispute it saying she used your card without your consent or something.
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Old 11-13-2009, 01:39 AM   #25
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Dump her.
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