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Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex... | |
11-14-2009, 12:07 PM
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#1 | Need my Daily Fix of RS
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So here's the dilly..
We've been having feelings on and off for each other for more than 7 years and decided that we should get more serious. We have been dating since June till recently we broke up. I've been treating her like a queen. I always supported her in everything and gave very expert advice about everything. She says that I have been acting immature and that's why she broke up with me, but isn't it normal for any guy to tell another guy to back off when they try to take your girl? I told him off easily, I said "Yo man, she has a boyfriend already so back off." I wasn't like "Hey you little fucker, get the fuck lost or I'll fucking beat the shit out of you." Some other lame reasons she gave me was that I was smoking around her, so I made a change and rarely smoke around her, I always go outside now and just once in a blue moon I'll get really stressed from driving and smoke half a cigarette. I told her that it rarely happens and that I AM trying to quit. She tells me that it doesn't matter that I'm trying but that I AM still doing it. She had a dance audition but she only told me 2 days before. I asked if she was prepared, had a routine down and perfected it. She tells me she doesn't and that she's going clubbing with her girls. I start saying "Maybe you shouldn't go and practice for your audition? Clubbing is the least important thing, I mean fuck your audition is in 2 days and you haven't got a routine down. You should get your priorities sorted out and do what's most important." She says "You don't even go to school and barely go to work. Why should I listen to you?" I said "It's not about going to school or working, it's common sense that you signed up for this audition and you should put more effort in it, if you don't want to take it serious..then why did you even sign up?" Some dick offered her a ride there and it was the guy who tried flirting with her. He understands that we were dating and just said it's a friend thing. He's a little dork so I'm not so worried about anything. But it's the fact that I offered her a ride first. I wanted to be the one standing outside waiting for her to come out and tell me how it went. If she did well, we celebrate..if not then I would comfort her. She blows me off to go with him. I ask "Why did you blow me off to go with him? What has he supported you about this audition? He doesn't give a shit about how you do, he just want's a girl accompanying him." She tells me "He told me about the audition. He said that I can do it, that I'm a good hip hop dancer." I said "Well okay, first off..Telling you about the audition is not being supportive but being informative. Saying you can dance? Any dick can say you can dance just to get in your pants. I've been fucking nagging you to get it prepared and show me so I can help on what needs improvement." She says "He's just a friend." I said "So what the fuck am I? It seems like I care about your audition more than you do." Other problems are like, I drive from Vancouver to Steveston (Richmond) because it was raining and I didn't want her to bus, standing in the cold and rain. Sure it's something small, but when you do it everyday? Driving her to school, from school, etc. In a month, I spend at least $2500+ on her. It's not the money that I care about, it's the fact that I loved and cared so much but she blows me off like I was nothing. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe she's hurting inside..but they way she's showing me, doesn't seem like she cared much. I never made her change herself in anyway to my liking, I let her be who she wants to be. I don't understand why she can't do the same for me. Yeah, I feel fucking whipped because I can't let go, I'm still trying and dying. Lately I've been doing nothing, barely eating, haven't slept in days, I barely talk to anyone. I can't let go of her, I can't stop loving her. What can I do to get her back?
__________________ Reflect on the past, work in the present, perfect the future. -Jnguyen |
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11-14-2009, 12:28 PM
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#2 | Mod.
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That was pretty hard to read, but it seems like she just wasn't all that interested in being in a relationship with you from what you've said.
That being said doesn't seem like theres much you can do to get her back.
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11-14-2009, 12:31 PM
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#3 | Need my Daily Fix of RS
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sorry about the long write, etc. i know she loves and cares for me. its just that she keeps looking at the problem in the bigger picture instead of the details
__________________ Reflect on the past, work in the present, perfect the future. -Jnguyen |
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11-14-2009, 12:32 PM
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#4 | Say! Say! Say!
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You deserve better man. Girls like these are not worth your time.
__________________ Quote: Owner of Vansterdam's 420th thanks. OH YEAUHHH. | Quote:
Originally Posted by 89blkcivic Did I tell you guys black is my favourite colour? My Ridgeline is black. My Honda Fit is black. Wish my dick was black........ LOL. | |
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11-14-2009, 12:44 PM
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#5 |
Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Burnaby
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2500 a month, no anal?
F THAT
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by jasonturbo Too bad it isn't about flipping cars to lose money, I'm really good at that. | Quote:
Originally Posted by SkunkWorks This wouldn't happen if you didn't drive a peasant car like an Audi... | Quote:
[14-05, 14:59] FastAnna You tiny bra wearing, gigantic son of a bitch
[15-05, 10:35] FastAnna Yeah I was dreaming of those big titties in that tiny bra
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Originally Posted by westopher I'd probably blow someone for that 911 | |
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11-14-2009, 12:46 PM
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#6 | Need my Daily Fix of RS
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don't worry about the sex, i get my daily medications.
__________________ Reflect on the past, work in the present, perfect the future. -Jnguyen |
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11-14-2009, 12:47 PM
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#7 | My name is Michael. J. Caboose, and I hate BABIES!
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Why would you WANT that back? I say fuck her. Walk away and find someone worth your time and love.
__________________
"Can you match my resolve? If so then you will succeed. I believe that the human spirit is indomitable. If you endeavour to achieve, it will happen given enough resolve." -- Monty Oum Quote:
Originally Posted by STATUS105 IF I FIND YOU
I WILL EAT YOUR RICE! | |
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11-14-2009, 12:57 PM
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#8 | Banned (ABWS)
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that's brutal, nut on her face twice and tell her to go home
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11-14-2009, 01:24 PM
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#9 | I don't get it
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Vancouver
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It looks like you're the one who's not looking at the bigger picture.
Cost of keeping her = high
benefits derived = low
she sounds like she thought you were a bother as well Posted via RS Mobile |
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11-14-2009, 01:37 PM
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#10 | Even when im right, revscene.net is still right!
Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Vancity
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give it up
aint worth the time or money
from what i read u pay 2500+ a month for a bitch
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11-14-2009, 01:38 PM
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#11 | Director of RS Cares
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my beef is you're spending $2500 on a girl you've been dating since june (i don't care you guys have been having on and off feelings for 7 years) when you "barely work." it's not showing that you care for her, it's showing you are lacking judgement.
stop putting someone before yourself when you don't have your act together. yes, you may feel you love her so much you can't live without her..but you can--trust me...you can. stop trying to please her or make her look at the relationship the way you do because change isn't going to happen unless the other person wants to themselves. you say you let her be her own person when it comes to these things but by you moping around and feeling the world is over...shows her she has to be a certain way to make you happy again. if she was to say "i'm sorry, i really do care a lot about you etc etc" you'd probably be bouncing off walls and feeling great, am i right?
do things that make you happy, that make you complete. feel comfortable in your own skin! no girl is going to be able to do that for you besides yourself.
__________________ tiptronic: getting cut off by bicycles since 2007
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11-14-2009, 03:16 PM
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#12 | I don't get it
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Vancouver
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Originally Posted by miss_crayon no girl is going to be able to do that for you besides yourself. | If I didn't know any better I'd say you're calling the OP a girl lol
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11-14-2009, 04:36 PM
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#13 | Need my Daily Fix of RS
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Originally Posted by E=mc˛ If I didn't know any better I'd say you're calling the OP a girl lol | no what she means is, no girl can make me happy and complete, only myself
__________________ Reflect on the past, work in the present, perfect the future. -Jnguyen |
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11-14-2009, 05:11 PM
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#14 | Wunder? Wonder?? Wander???
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Originally Posted by liu13 that's brutal, nut on her face twice and tell her to go home | +1 |
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11-14-2009, 05:29 PM
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#15 | Director of RS Cares
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Originally Posted by m4_chillz_ no what she means is, no girl can make me happy and complete, only myself | i'm glad you understood.
seriously, this is for the best. it hurts, i know it does...but you can't let pain/fear of the unknown get in the way of your happiness.
__________________ tiptronic: getting cut off by bicycles since 2007
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11-14-2009, 09:07 PM
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#16 | Need my Daily Fix of RS
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Richmond
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thanks for the serious help. for the immature kids who were talking about bum sex, etc. good for you how you handle it.
__________________ Reflect on the past, work in the present, perfect the future. -Jnguyen |
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11-14-2009, 09:49 PM
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#17 | My homepage has been set to RS
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I had a professor in first year psychology tell us...
In a relationship, the one who cares/loves less has more power
You clearly love her a lot more, and she seems to be wielding all the power. She's treating you like shit because she knows she can get away with it. Quote:
Lately I've been doing nothing, barely eating, haven't slept in days, I barely talk to anyone. I can't let go of her, I can't stop loving her. What can I do to get her back?
| DO NOT let a girl define you or the life you live. At least not now. Get back to your daily routine, or set a new one if you don't have one already. Hang out with your buds and call up some girls. Just do something to get your mind off of her and gain some proper perspective.
I'm leaning towards the hand of dumping her, but its ultimately your choice. It seems the more you care, the more you are actually pushing her away. The only thing I would do other than break it off is to give the girl MORE space right now. Give her less power even if it ultimately hurts.
__________________ Quote:
[23-07, 02:03] shawn79 i find that at vietnamese place they cut ur hair like they cut grass
[23-07, 02:03] shawn79 do u go to vietnamese places for haircuts | |
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11-14-2009, 10:17 PM
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#18 | Director of RS Cares
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^ with the hanging out with your friends/girls, although it helps i wouldnt suggest putting all of your time into that. your friends/company of females will only take up so much time in your day (and you can't expect them to hang out with you every second of the day) so remember to do things on your own too.
my mom told me that in life, a relationship is like dessert. the main meal is YOUR success, your life. don't make dessert your main meal.
__________________ tiptronic: getting cut off by bicycles since 2007
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11-14-2009, 10:26 PM
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#19 | MiX iT Up!
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someone coles notes this.
it also seems like part of it is missing... there is no build up :| ....
__________________ Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who couldn't give up on them.
Make the effort and take the risk.. "Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." - Eleanor Roosevelt |
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11-14-2009, 10:56 PM
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#20 | Banned (ABWS)
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Originally Posted by m4_chillz_ thanks for the serious help. for the immature kids who were talking about bum sex, etc. good for you how you handle it. | who are you to say that they are not mature?
u dont work or go to school and you let a woman control your life
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11-15-2009, 12:14 AM
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#21 | I don't get it
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Originally Posted by m4_chillz_ no what she means is, no girl can make me happy and complete, only myself | yes i understood that
i was kidding
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11-15-2009, 09:24 AM
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#22 | My AFC gave me an ABS CEL code of LOL while at WOT!
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Ppl r right here
U shud take a step back and see if shes realli worth it
Honesty u know what to do
Ppl rarely do listen to advices
We are just here to comfort u
But u already know either dump her or give her space
i know spending 2k love shouldnt be about money but its bout the principle if she cared for u she wouldnt allow u to spend that much in the first place since ur not working much Posted via RS Mobile |
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11-15-2009, 09:28 AM
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#23 | My name is Michael. J. Caboose, and I hate BABIES!
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^can someone translate?
__________________
"Can you match my resolve? If so then you will succeed. I believe that the human spirit is indomitable. If you endeavour to achieve, it will happen given enough resolve." -- Monty Oum Quote:
Originally Posted by STATUS105 IF I FIND YOU
I WILL EAT YOUR RICE! | |
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11-15-2009, 01:42 PM
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#24 | Mod.
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: east vanner
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Originally Posted by Durrann1984 Ppl r right here
U shud take a step back and see if shes realli worth it
Honesty u know what to do
Ppl rarely do listen to advices
We are just here to comfort u
But u already know either dump her or give her space
i know spending 2k love shouldnt be about money but its bout the principle if she cared for u she wouldnt allow u to spend that much in the first place since ur not working much Posted via RS Mobile | Quote:
Originally Posted by Inaii ^can someone translate? | You should take a step back and see if she's really worth it. Honestly, I think you know what to do, but people rarely listen to advice from other people. We're here to simply comfort you.
You already know you either need to dump her, or give her some space. I think that spending 2000 on love shouldn't be about money, but it's about the principle. If she cared for you, she wouldn't have allowed you to spend that much in the first place because you don't work as much.
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