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Relationship & Gender Discussion THIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE!
The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 11-16-2009, 12:31 AM   #1
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Privacy Issue

Little back-story here. I like most people in their mid 20's go through a new phone about every year. My brother had recently washed his phone, so I had given him my previous phone that I had replaced.

I still had all of my old phone numbers on it and asked him to keep them because I hadn't switched everything over yet. I told him I would get them from it this weekend. Well during the week, their youngest child got hit with swine flu and his wife's phone was out of minutes so she asked to use his phone (my old phone). Now, when she was at the hospital with the baby (She is 30, he is 35) she was snooping through the phone and noticed there were alot of female names on there she wasn't too fond of seeing. Now, about 8 years ago my brother and his wife were almost about to get a divorce because she had cheated on him when he was working out of town, and it went on for months etc. When they were on a break, my brother had gotten a girlfriend named Amanda. My brother and her eventually got back together "for the kids". I happen to know a few Amanda's just like every other Canadian, and have them both on my phone. My brother's wife gets really mad and calls her mom crying because she thinks my brother is still seeing his ex-gf from when they were split up. So now her mom thinks my brother is cheating etc. and is spreading it to pretty well everyone we know. Another problem about this is that she wrote every chic's phone number down that was on my old phone, and fucking phoned them all asking how they knew my brother. None of my friends know my brother, but still, that's pretty hardcore to call each one.

What would you guys do? Confronting her just made her think I'm helping my brother hide shit. I'll probably just carry on like normal so my nieces and nephews don't get a weird vibe from me whenever I visit.

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Old 11-16-2009, 12:47 AM   #2
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Old 11-16-2009, 12:48 AM   #3
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Confront her, ask her what all those girls had said when she asked them how they knew your brother/her husband. Tell her or even prove it to her that all those girls she called up know you and not your brother. From there it should be pretty clear that your brother/her husband is not cheating on her. Make sure you told her it was your old phone too.
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Old 11-16-2009, 01:32 AM   #4
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Tell her exactly what happened and that's all you owe that dumb bitch. IF she doesn't believe you, then her loss, she's going to make herself look stupid in the end. As for your brother, he can't really do much but tell her the truth because once again, stupid cunt wife jumping to conclusions over numbers on SOMEONE ELSE'S CELL PHONE.
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Old 11-16-2009, 02:06 AM   #5
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^^ This.

Tell her before things get worst.
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Old 11-16-2009, 03:21 AM   #6
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that's a crazy story, i've never heard that before. sucks to be your brother though and i agree with what min.tee said
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Old 11-16-2009, 07:59 AM   #7
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Fuck that shit. First of all, she started it. She cheated. But I don't care about that. I wouldn't feel that different if he cheated.

If you are going to get back together "for the kids" then fucking do it!

That means that you sit your asses down and have that talk that says what is in the past is in the past and although trust is never going to be the same, you need to work toward it.

If she is going to snoop through his phone and call every girls number, that chick has some severe issues. Imagine calling every girl in someone's phone. That takes a serious level of disconnect with reality.

There is far more involved in this relationship then some numbers in a phone bro. You can say what you want to her about why he numbers are there, but it will do nothing to solve the level of insecurity that she feels in the relationship.

I would say she feels inferior in some way to your brother. Some dude came along that made her feel like an allstar and she jumped him.

Their relationship is doomed unless they work on the core insecurity that drove her to cheat in the first place and drove her to over-react in the first place.

Wanna get involved in something that large, making it horribly awkward?

Let me ask you this...

Does your brother, in a situation like this bring up the fact that she cheated first?
Is she less attractive as a person than your brother? General appearance, packing a few baby pounds or relies on his larger income?
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Old 11-16-2009, 08:37 AM   #8
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Tell her exactly what happened and that's all you owe that dumb bitch. IF she doesn't believe you, then her loss, she's going to make herself look stupid in the end. As for your brother, he can't really do much but tell her the truth because once again, stupid cunt wife jumping to conclusions over numbers on SOMEONE ELSE'S CELL PHONE.
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Old 11-16-2009, 11:26 AM   #9
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Tell her exactly what happened and that's all you owe that dumb bitch. IF she doesn't believe you, then her loss, she's going to make herself look stupid in the end. As for your brother, he can't really do much but tell her the truth because once again, stupid cunt wife jumping to conclusions over numbers on SOMEONE ELSE'S CELL PHONE.
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Old 11-16-2009, 11:28 AM   #10
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uh, didn't she know he nuked his phone? If she wanted to stay together "for the kids" she shouldn't jump to stupid shit like this. IMO this woman needs a therapist, and I feel bad for your brother being with someone that mental. If she doesn't believe him that's its your phone, you can probably get some records from the phone providers or something but you shouldn't have to, especially if she cheated on him first, and 8 years ago.
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Old 11-16-2009, 11:30 AM   #11
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Lol she needs a lot more than a therapist.
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Old 11-16-2009, 11:34 AM   #12
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[QUOTE=ScizzMoney;6685393]Little back-story here. I like most people in their mid 20's go through a new phone about every year.
QUOTE]

One new phone per year? Wow!
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Old 11-16-2009, 11:57 AM   #13
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are you going to tell her or were you expecting her to log into revs to see this?
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Old 11-16-2009, 02:07 PM   #14
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So wait she cheated yet she's the one with insecurity issues...
Anyway yeah tell her whats up so at least you guys get your side of the story/truth out.
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Old 11-16-2009, 02:08 PM   #15
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She's a moron.

Sounds actually like an Asian thing to do though. lol
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Old 11-16-2009, 02:12 PM   #16
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sue her for privacy. Hey if blind people can sue sony for not mkaing games accessible to them. I am sure you can sue her for invasion of privacy.
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Old 11-16-2009, 02:59 PM   #17
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the best thing you can do is just tell her flat out, being very serious at a one on one envrionment without yoru brother being there, it has to be in person.

tell her exactly, when you gave him the phone, ask her was it true if the phone was washed during that time frame, and then just tell her to keep this information between you two and she can make whatever decision she wants.

if she still becomes a retard, well, time will tell.
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Old 11-16-2009, 06:03 PM   #18
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Thanks for the responses, but in my last paragraph in my original post I stated that confronting her just made her think I was protecting my brother. I was curious what you guys would do after that?
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Old 11-16-2009, 06:25 PM   #19
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Well if she doesn't believe you, there isn't much you can do. Personally I think your brother should re-think the situation and relationship. She cheated and now she's going on about him cheating? something smells fishy. Maybe she's feeling guilty about something and trying to cover it up with false righteousness.
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Old 11-16-2009, 06:44 PM   #20
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I'd just sit that mother, her and your brother down, let them damn know.

If you want to help and she doesn't believe you, call that girl up (if you still remember her.) and let her know. embarrassed the fuck out of the wife.
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Old 11-19-2009, 03:48 PM   #21
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the wife doesnt deserve an explanation. she cheated. its game over. stay together for the kids? fuck whatever. thats what visitation is for because the parents fucking hate each other and cant be civil.

whats worse, watching your parents fucking argue and fight everyday or see dad or mom a little less?

the wife is an insecure bitch and believes if sh cheats, everyone cheats. Even if he did, he's entitled to a freebee.
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Old 11-19-2009, 05:57 PM   #22
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You should confront her, and by 'confront', i mean, just tell her the truth. it'll be worse if you have to tell her the truth weeks later, then she'll really think you're just making stuff up.
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Old 11-19-2009, 08:02 PM   #23
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Old 11-19-2009, 10:15 PM   #24
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seriously....the wife has some privacy issues. Tell her to learn how to respect people's privacy....then we can discuss the girls on the phone.
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Old 11-20-2009, 01:41 AM   #25
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Tell your brother to tell her that she is even worse than she initially was for doubting him and calling him a cheater when she was the one who was unfaithful to him.
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