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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 12-27-2009, 10:30 AM   #1
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Is he acting out?

I found out recently that my ex has been partying every weekend and started using drugs (to "enhance" the excitement) since we broke up. He's been hanging out with slutty ass little girls (He's 28 they are probably 19-20) with his dumbass friends who cheats on their gfs, sleep around with randoms or egg him on to live the bachelor lifestyle like them by getting drunk every weekend.

I know to some people, that lifestyle is awesome and maybe even envied but it just hurts because my ex told me he felt like my goals in life were slipping. He didn't feel like I was contributing my fair share of responsibilities.....then I hear about him hanging around these girls that are powered by mommy and daddy and their biggest problem in life is where to party this weekend and what to wear. I worked every single damn day of my life since the day I turned 17 ontop of school..and yeah, I might not have the best job right now (due to the recession and cutbacks) which makes me feel a tad unmotivated.... but I can't believe he would tell me that i'm the one that needs to smarten up while he's hanging with these girls that are doing fuck all.

Do you guys think he's just having fun right now or was he just fucking with me? I think he's acting out from not living the single life as he hasn't been for the past ~4 years. Knowing the guy that he is I really don't believe this is the lifestyle he rather have over the one he worked so hard for before and during our relationship.

We were together for 1.5 years. I'm in my mid-twenties.

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Old 12-27-2009, 10:33 AM   #2
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He's your ex, get over it. You no longer have any say so what does it matter to you? He's approaching his 30's, he's probably just trying to re-live his youth. but again, why does it matter to you? you're broken up, sounds like someone needs to move on.
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IF I FIND YOU
I WILL EAT YOUR RICE!
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Old 12-27-2009, 10:43 AM   #3
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^Easier said than done. If I was able to move on, then I wold have..but who likes having their heart slaughtered then see someone you love/loved "move on" so quickly.
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Old 12-27-2009, 10:45 AM   #4
My name is Michael. J. Caboose, and I hate BABIES!
 
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That should help. Focus on everything negative about him and it helps, or at least it did for me. I had an ex almost identical to you (minus the saying I needed to smarten up, but into the drugs and partying).
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IF I FIND YOU
I WILL EAT YOUR RICE!
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Old 12-27-2009, 10:46 AM   #5
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You only went out for a year and a half and now he is your ex. If you think a 30 year old is acting out, than he's immature and so are you. You need to move on.
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Old 12-27-2009, 02:59 PM   #6
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I think you need to act out too. He's your ex, so just forget about his sorry ass, find another guy (if you haven't already), and move on.

Also, do realize that guys sometimes make the bullshittest of excuses when they want to break up with you. Which is all the more reason to wish ill will upon him. Like contacting STDs, or having his SUV roll off a hill while he's having sex in it.
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Old 12-27-2009, 07:54 PM   #7
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or having his SUV roll off a hill while he's having sex in it.
that was the best mental image ever, ahahahah
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IF I FIND YOU
I WILL EAT YOUR RICE!
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Old 12-27-2009, 08:08 PM   #8
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you can blame it on winter boredom, i dont see what's wrong with going out on weekends with the boys
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Old 12-27-2009, 08:50 PM   #9
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wish he gets hiv and that'll be the end of it
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Old 12-27-2009, 09:22 PM   #10
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just ignore all his actions. i know its hard to do that but give it time, keep yourself occupied and dont let it bug u
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Old 12-27-2009, 10:33 PM   #11
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pm me. i got the perfect solution. it'll help you immensely.
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Old 12-28-2009, 03:03 AM   #12
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look on the bright side, you should be happy that he's doing this now that he's alone and not when he was with you. it always could have been worse.

it shouldn't matter to you now b/c he's your ex... but i know how it feels to still be in love with someone/care about them and see them acting different. there's nothing you can do but watch and go about your business...b/c he's made it perfectly clear..he's not your business anymore.

remember though, girls do this too. after me n my ex broke up, i hung out with guys who i KNEW weren't good for me and i partied like i had a personal goal to see how many times i could get stomach pumped in a month. sometimes it's just a coping mechanism, other times it's letting loose from all those 'responsibilities' you once had... like having to plan outings with your SO, paying for food/presents, fighting, etc. cuz you don't have to worry about anyone but yourself now...

i don't believe in wishing bad things on anybody anymore..esp ex's. no matter what they did to me, i know for some time i felt like i had really cared about them so just b/c they're dicks it doesn't give me the right to act like a dick too. besides..do i really want to be one of the people i dislike so much myself? i expect better things of myself so you should too.

just hope someday he'll smarten up himself and for now, you can do your own thing. it's hard but when you overcome it, it's one of the most satisfying feelings ever.
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Old 12-28-2009, 03:20 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mangopudding View Post
I found out recently that my ex has been partying every weekend and started using drugs (to "enhance" the excitement) since we broke up. He's been hanging out with slutty ass little girls (He's 28 they are probably 19-20) with his dumbass friends who cheats on their gfs, sleep around with randoms or egg him on to live the bachelor lifestyle like them by getting drunk every weekend.

I know to some people, that lifestyle is awesome and maybe even envied but it just hurts because my ex told me he felt like my goals in life were slipping. He didn't feel like I was contributing my fair share of responsibilities.....then I hear about him hanging around these girls that are powered by mommy and daddy and their biggest problem in life is where to party this weekend and what to wear. I worked every single damn day of my life since the day I turned 17 ontop of school..and yeah, I might not have the best job right now (due to the recession and cutbacks) which makes me feel a tad unmotivated.... but I can't believe he would tell me that i'm the one that needs to smarten up while he's hanging with these girls that are doing fuck all.

Do you guys think he's just having fun right now or was he just fucking with me? I think he's acting out from not living the single life as he hasn't been for the past ~4 years. Knowing the guy that he is I really don't believe this is the lifestyle he rather have over the one he worked so hard for before and during our relationship.

We were together for 1.5 years. I'm in my mid-twenties.

It sucks to know that he's doing all of these things, but at the end of the day, he no longer want you to care about all these things. As hard as it is to do, what he does, along with what reasons he does these things, are just irrelevant once you move on from a relationship. What can be gained from constantly drilling yourself whether or not he's "acting" up? What you are trying to do now is trying to savor the little bit of "relationship" you have with him trying to be part of his life by trying to understand his actions and motives. But by definition if you really want what's best for you, you need to move on and take every initiative to avoid any connection and information that relates to him because the more you know the more you will think about it. Just savor the happinesss moments and the memories that you have shared and know that you are a better and more grown person because of what have happened. What has happened in the past is history and tomorow will be a brighter day. Keep your chin up!
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Old 12-28-2009, 11:34 AM   #14
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Honestly, he's your ex. What he does is none of your business. If he wants to hang out with little girls barely out of high school, let him do it.

You should just be focusing on bettering yourself
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Old 12-28-2009, 09:42 PM   #15
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he is ur ex.....let go and move on
if he wants to go out and waste himself, nothing you can do
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why are you still on RS

go fuck her brains out, shoot all in her mouth, and leave
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Old 12-29-2009, 04:00 AM   #16
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he is ur ex.....let go and move on
if he wants to go out and waste himself, nothing you can do
what he said
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Old 12-29-2009, 09:16 AM   #17
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I don't believe he's acting out to spite you or to fuck with you. Guy's been in serious relationships for the past 4 years, I don't blame him for going out and partying like crazy now that he's newly single.
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Old 12-29-2009, 09:26 AM   #18
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Old 12-29-2009, 10:40 AM   #19
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or having his SUV roll off a hill while he's having sex in it.
omg talk about imagery. LOL.
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Old 12-29-2009, 01:02 PM   #20
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So apparently there's a problem with Men being Men.

You're not with him, leave it alone. Clingy girls aren't attractive especially when you broke up with them.

You sound like my ex.

No, we're not acting out.
No, we have our life in order, but thanks.
We get it, we don't care.
If we cared, we would be with you, and not broken up.
Break ups usually have a reason, and if we're not together anymore, it was a pretty damn good reason.
Unless the guy is still sleeping with you, I doubt he cares about what you think.

Hard truth.
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Old 12-29-2009, 01:10 PM   #21
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Hanging around and dating/being in a relationship is 2 completely different things. There's nothing to worry about unless his new girlfriend is the town jailbait whore...THEN know that he was lying to you.

You might want to fuck the shit out of Megan Fox, but not necessarily want her as a wife.

He's enjoying single life, I mean he is closing on 30 and most people get a bit crazy when that time rolls around, especially when you're tied down for so many years and possibly concentrating on building a career or whatever. Nobody wants to feel like they're missing out on life. Unless he's given up on all his life's goals, his job and thrown his life away to the partying lifestyle than it's probably just a phase. And as for your ex's problem with you, that's for you to really look down and ask yourself if he's shitting out of his ass or if there's a hint of truth to it.

If you guys just broke up, then it's understandable you feel like you do. Stop over analyzing, keep reminding your brain to shut up. Stop facebook stalking him or checkign msn/myspace/twitter every 5 seconds for his updates.

If you guys broke up a long ass time ago, then just GIVE IT UP. He's moved on, so should you! Or use him as a motivation, get yourself into tip top goal and career shape so he can drool on the side for you. And if at the end you don't get him back, at least you know you motivated yourself to put your life back on track.


/Girls $0.02
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Old 12-29-2009, 02:05 PM   #22
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You need a life if you are spending time checking into what he is doing on his weekends. Your not together and as such why are you spending the energy to ask others, or to facebook stalk, etc to know what is going on. Yes I'm sure u miss him, it sucks but live your life
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Old 12-29-2009, 04:03 PM   #23
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maybe hes just trying to stay busy and doing things to get his mind off the breakup.
theres nothing wrong with that at all.
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Old 12-29-2009, 10:44 PM   #24
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who fucking cares, hes your ex, stop stalking the poor bastard, hes got JB's to slay
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Old 12-30-2009, 01:05 AM   #25
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who fucking cares, hes your ex, stop stalking the poor bastard, HES GOT JB TO SLAY
we r gonna get another JB thread pretty soon
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why are you still on RS

go fuck her brains out, shoot all in her mouth, and leave
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