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02-19-2010, 02:30 PM
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#1 | | Banned By Establishment
Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: GB
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| Dogs vs Cats
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
6:00 pm - Oooh, Bath. Bummer.
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................
I am not the author of this masterpiece, I merely trolled it off the internets | 
|  | | This post thanked by: | ?NR, akalic, Blinky, classified, freakshow, MWR34, PiuYi, S1 S2, seakrait, spoon.ek9, threezero, [jsx] sky | |
02-19-2010, 03:07 PM
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#2 | | Da Vinci's real masterpiece: The Mona Diesel
Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Richmond
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lol cats are assholes
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02-19-2010, 03:08 PM
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#3 | | I answer every Emotion with an emoticon
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 7,760
Thanked 375 Times in 181 Posts
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cats r awesome in time of peace
dogs r awesome in time of war
__________________
Ignorance is bliss
How I wish I can remain ignorant, why do I know so much?
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02-19-2010, 03:11 PM
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#4 | | Captain Happy Bubble is my Homeboy
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 321
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haha that was good
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02-19-2010, 03:12 PM
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#5 | | MonoPod 1 of 3
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Internet
Posts: 7,260
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lol! I honestly lol'ed at the cat excerpts.
excellent creativity  | |
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02-19-2010, 06:03 PM
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#6 | | ~~
Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Vancouver
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"He is obviously retarded" LOL this was a good read.
Dogs ftw!!! Posted via RS Mobile | |
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02-19-2010, 06:30 PM
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#7 | | In RS I Trust
Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Mission
Posts: 20,760
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thats one that has been around for ages. I have dogs and cats and its so true.
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02-19-2010, 07:05 PM
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#8 | | SardaukarMod
Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Salusa Secundus
Posts: 11,306
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you had me at... Quote:
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...
Day 983 of my captivity.
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02-19-2010, 07:37 PM
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#9 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: MacLeod
Posts: 7,298
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dogs >>>>>>>> cats
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02-19-2010, 07:45 PM
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#10 | | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Burnaby
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by seakrait  you had me at... Quote:
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...
Day 983 of my captivity.
| | I harsh lol'd when I read that too!  | |
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02-19-2010, 08:56 PM
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#11 | | JDMEK9Mod | DogWhisperer
Join Date: May 2007 Location: Richmond
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hahah that was awesome. thanks for the lulz  | |
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02-19-2010, 08:59 PM
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#12 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: MacLeod
Posts: 7,298
Thanked 542 Times in 289 Posts
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Originally Posted by orange7 dogs >>>>>>>> cats | rocks >>>>>> dogs >>>>>>> cats
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02-19-2010, 09:51 PM
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#13 | | The Lone Wanderator
Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Burnaby
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Cats>all. Posted via RS Mobile | |
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02-19-2010, 09:56 PM
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#14 | | I wish I was where I was when I wished I was here
Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: West Coast
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The way cats looks at people just gives me the creeps... Dog FTW.
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02-19-2010, 10:44 PM
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#15 | | SardaukarMod
Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Salusa Secundus
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i actually like both of them. you just have to make sure you don't have the same expectations of cats that you do of dogs. there are more friendly dogs than there are friendly cats though but that's just the nature of the beast (as it were). dogs are pack animals. cats aren't.
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02-19-2010, 10:57 PM
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#16 | | I wish I was where I was when I wished I was here
Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: West Coast
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Dogs don't find revenge and stick by you forever... cats pick favourites and aren't as loyal as dogs.
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02-19-2010, 11:27 PM
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#17 | | I *Fwap* *Fwap* *Fwap* to RS
Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: vancouver
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LOL awesome read that just made my day........."He is obviously retarded" LOL
__________________
"Make love not war, condoms are cheaper than guns"
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02-20-2010, 03:10 AM
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#18 | | HELP ME PLS!!!
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Burnaby
Posts: 5,541
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I went to my friend's house today and when I saw his cat, it immediately reminded me of this thread! hahaha | |
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02-20-2010, 03:29 AM
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#19 | | RS controls my life!
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: 604
Posts: 748
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snakes but with fur
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